Frank's Last Words

As soon as Lily had said those words she wished she hadn’t, why had she just come out with it like that? Why couldn’t she just have waited until the morning?

Frank sighed then looked at Lily. “I think…I’d rather talk about this some other time, you’re tired, you need your rest and…we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” He said talking one of her hands in his and squeezing it.

Lily just nodded. “Was that your father at the door earlier, I was sure it was his voice I heard?”

“Yeah he brought my guitar over for me.”

“You can’t be apart from those guitars of yours for long can you?” Lily said smiling at him as he got off the bed.

He smiled at her, the smile she’d missed seeing but had never forgottens. “It seems not, listen you must get some sleep Lily, you’ve got that physio guy coming tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah, forgot about him,” said Lily snuggling down and falling fast asleep not realising how tired she really was.

**

The sound woke her, the sound of Frank’s guitar playing. It wasn’t that loud but it had obviously interrupted her sleep pattern. She lay there for ages listening to him play, practising some chords over and over then beginning on something else.

It was great hearing him.

Checking the clock on the bedside she read it was just after 3am. Turning over she tried to sleep once more but couldn’t because she was listening to Frank play.

Enjoying Frank play.

She sighed. It was no use, she’d have to get up so reached across for her robe, which she wrapped around herself and then managed to just about get hold of her crutches that were resting against the bottom of the bed and pulled herself up.

His playing got louder as she left her room then as she got to the door of the bedroom she stopped. His door was ajar and she could see him sitting there on the bed in just his boxers, his floppy fringe hanging down over his eyes as he concentrated, his body with his tattoos so familiar to her. She couldn’t help but stare, remembering those times when that very tattooed body used to press urgently against hers, causing her to moan with pleasure.

Then he stopped playing and she thought she’d better knock on the door, she didn’t want to be caught looking.

“Hey, can’t sleep?” He said looking up through his hair.

“Well yeah, I’ve slept for a couple of hours and then I heard you playing.” She said opening the door wider and hobbling into the room.

“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet.” said Frank.

“Hey no, don’t be sorry it was awesome, carry on, I was enjoying it. Please.” She said going over and sitting on the end of the bed. Near him but not too near.

He picked up his guitar and played a little more. She could watch him for hours doing this she thought. If someone told her last week that she’d be sitting in her mother’s house in her guest room with a half naked Frank playing to her at 3am she’d have laughed in their face.

“That’s just some new stuff that we’ve been practicing. You wanna hear Ray’s piece, its awesome,” he said looking at her with shiny brown eyes. His hair was hanging over his eyes and she wanted to brush it aside like she always used to do except now she couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. They weren’t together and she was still married even if it wasn’t going to be for much longer.

She listened to him play for a while and then she shivered and yawned. She’d grown cold.

“I must get back to bed, I’d love to listen to you play some more but I’m…cold,” said Lily attempting to stand up onto her crutches.

“You can listen to me play some more, just get under the covers.” Said Frank sitting aside indicating for her to get in.

So she did.

She got into bed, pulled the cover up to her neck and settled down watching Frank play, then she closed her eyes to listen and before she knew it she was asleep.

**

It was as though they were still together.

Waking up with him snuggled up behind her, his tattooed arm slung over her waist. He’d obviously got tired too and crept in bed beside her. It was like old times.

Turning, he surprised her by being awake and looking at her, those familiar eyes of his boring into her soul, as if reading her mind.

Could he?

Well if he could he’d realise she still loved him, he’d know that she didn’t want to be apart from him and he’d also know she was scared at her feelings and all that lay ahead.

“What are you going to do Lily?” Frank said, still staring and touching the side of her cheek.

“About…Zach?” She asked hating talking about him. Just hating him.

“Yeah.” He said.

“I can’t stay with him, I couldn’t stay with him. He’s a bully and I think…I’m going to divorce him as soon as possible.

“Of course you can’t go back to him. I won’t let you?” He said.

How can you not let me? I’m not yours to ‘not let’.She thought with regret.

“Frank I need to know something, something that’s been bothering me for the past year. I really need to know why you broke up with me. It’ll help me.”

He turned away slightly as if embarrassed.

“The reason I decided I couldn’t be with you Lily was because you were ashamed weren’t you?”

“Ashamed?” Said Lily, frowning at him.

“Yeah. Ashamed. Of me.” He said looking at her as if he knew.

But of course he was wrong.

“Ashamed.” Lily said in a quiet voice. “Of you. Of course I wasn’t ashamed of you I was…ashamed of…this,” she said looking around her. “I was ashamed of all I had here, and not wanting you to think I was a spoilt rich bitch brat. That’s what I was ashamed of and I wanted you to get to know me first. The real me.” She said leaning up on one arm. “Please don’t think I was ashamed of you. Frank? What the fuck gave you that idea?”

Frank couldn’t look at Lily realising what had happened here.

“Zach did.” Was all he said, and now he did feel ashamed, ashamed for believing Zach in the first place.

He wanted to kill the bastard.