Frank's Last Words

As I let myself into the house after Frank had walked me home I could see that my mother was still awake, the light from the office shining through the crack in the door. Of course she would be up, she would be working as usual, evenings and during the night were the times that she wrote the most. Then the next day she’d always sleep in late, she’d eat one meal only each day before heading back into her study.

I could hear the door creak open and knew that she had come out to see if I was OK.

“Hi honey, did you have a good time?” She asked. She was immaculately dressed, as ever, her hair pinned up and although she wore little make up her skin was amazing. I hoped I looked like her when I got to her age.

“Yeah, it was great. They were such a good band I enjoyed it.” I said putting my house keys down onto the hall table with a clatter as I had so many key rings attached to them.

“I was just about to make some cocoa, would you like some?” She said.

I was tired but I so wanted to tell her about Frank. I wanted to tell her about my evening because I didn’t know when I’d get the chance again, she was always so busy. We rarely chatted but when we did, she was always a good listener.

“Yeah, please mum.” I said following her out into the kitchen.

“I thought you’d have brought Carly back with you.” She said getting some milk from the fridge as I sat down at the kitchen table.

“She stayed on a little longer, we met up with Zach so she was with him.” I said then watched my mother spin round suddenly.

“Lily you didn’t walk home on your own. I’d have come and got you if I’d have known, you know I would.” She said looking panicked suddenly. Of course she would have come and got me, she always came out to get me, whatever time it was. If I couldn’t get home from my shows or if I was at the movies and nobody was going my way then she’d get me.

“No, this guy walked me home,” I said to her. “He was coming this way so we walked together.” I noticed the relief sweep over her face as she poured milk into two mugs.

“A guy, huh?” She said, a small smile appearing on his face. “You want to tell me about this ‘guy’?”

“He’s a friend of Zachs and he played in the band I saw tonight but he’s leaving that band and joining another so we stayed on for a drink, kind of like a farewell drink with them all and…well…then.he offered to walk me home, he was going this way and I was tired so I walked with him. He was good company. I think I like him. Oh…and his name is Frank.”

“Frank?” She said. I noticed her face change as thought she’d remembered something suddenly, like a distant memory. Watching her face I realised how young my mother still looked compared to my friend’s mothers. I’d never noticed until now, not until I saw this light in her eye.

“Yeah but I don’t know his second name.” Then I wondered if I ever would. “I don’t know if I’ll see him again.”

“I knew a Frank once,” said mother and I wasn’t sure she’d even heard what I’d said. She seemed to suddenly be in a world of her own, “and he was in a band too. It was a long time ago now.” She was obviously thinking back to when she was younger.

“Oh. What sort of band?” I said to her. She’d never told me about this before, never mentioned knowing anyone she used to know called Frank who was in a band. The name must have brought back all sorts of memories.

“Punk. It was a punk band and they were brilliant.” She said. “He was fantastic, such a great guy. He…he was the reason I came to America all those years ago. Long before I met your father.”

“You’ve never mentioned this before.” I said taking a sip from my hot drink. I’d always believed that my father had brought my mother here, that he was the reason why she left England. Seems like there was more to my mother than I knew.

“No…I…it was the name Frank that reminded me of him, that’s all.”

She was quiet for a moment and I wondered what had happened between her and this Frank. She must have been young when she met him. Was he American? Had she met him in England where she was from? Why hadn’t she mentioned this before? But it looked like she didn’t want to talk about him anymore, the moment had passed.

“So…you don’t think you’ll see this Frank guy again?” She said to me.

“I don’t know, I just don’t know,” I said and I didn’t know. I really didn’t.

All I knew was I really liked him. He’d made me laugh and I liked his attitude towards things. I had also enjoyed watching and listening to him play his guitar. Then I remembered that he’d said to me to come and see their new band, MCR play. I must contact Carly to ask her when we could go, I was sure she’d know.

I hoped it was soon.

**

I’d just settled in my room but once I’d got into bed I couldn’t sleep but knew I had to because I had that show to do tomorrow.

Rolling over I saw my phone flashing and checked who it was. It was Carly calling me. I hoped everything was OK, she rarely called me this late, if she wanted me at all she’d usually text.

“Carly? You OK?” I said sitting up in bed.

“Yes and no.” She said but not offering anymore. It was going to be one of those conversations.

“What’s wrong?” I said.

“I can’t believe you went off with Frank.” She said into the phone, the slight annoyance in her voice unmistakable.

“I didn’t ‘go off’ with him. He offered to walk me home, said he was going my way and that’s all there is to it.”

“I know, I know but…it’s not like you. Zach was worried.”

“Why would Zach be worried?” I said.

“I’m not sure but I think he felt responsible because he’d introduced you.”

“Well he knew my phone number, he could have given me a call if he was worried.” I said getting slightly annoyed. Why was Zach worried about me enough to moan about it to his sister? I was old enough to make a choice as to whether to let a guy walk me home on my own or not for fuck’s sake.

“I know, he’s just a little protective of us. That’s all.”

“Well I’m fine. Frank’s good company, I enjoyed our walk. So…did you get to speak to Gerard some more?” I said then lay back on the pillow looking up at the ceiling.

“No. I cannot believe he didn’t remember me. We were introduced a couple of months back and I thought he’d remember me.” Said Carly.

I rolled my eyes as I listened to her ramble on about how Gerard barely spoke to her the rest of the evening and then the next time she’d looked for him he was gone.

“You’ll get to see him again soon,” I said to her but something told me that Gerard wasn’t interested in Carly and if he was he would definitely have remembered her.

“Well, it’s his loss because the next time we meet up and if he is interested I’m not going to bother with him.” She went on, sounding like a five-year-old brat.

I was sure that Gerard wouldn’t be bothered or not if Carly wanted nothing to do with him. He seemed sensible enough, in fact he seemed like a good guy who knew what he wanted in life and I didn’t think Carly figured in any of it.

“Oh yeah, Zach wondered if we wanted to go to the movies with him in a couple of days,” said Carly.

“Um…yeah, OK,” I said. “I’ll check what’s on and let you know. But Carly I really need to go…”

”…Yeah, OK, you have a show to do tomorrow I suppose, that right?” she said and the way she said it she really didn’t have a clue about how I felt about my dancing. She didn’t understand how important it was to me.

“Yes. It’s the last one, I’ve so enjoyed it,” I said just wishing that once she’d show some interest, just once it would have been great for her to come and show her support. My parents always came on my first night, my mother sometimes a few times more but Carly never bothered. When she was in a swimming gala a year ago, I so enjoyed going to see her, proud of her for what she’d achieved. Sometimes I wondered how we’d ever become friends in the first place.

“Well, night then,” she said showing her usual lack of enthusiasm.

“Yeah, night Carly.” I said then put my phone down onto my bedside and rolled back over onto my side but before I fell asleep I thought once more about Frank and then I thought about the guy called Frank that my mother had known and wondered what it was all about.

**

“Why are you parking up, you can just drop me round the back by the stage door like you usually do?” I turned to my mother with a frown on my face.

“I’m parking up because I’m coming to see your last performance. How could I not, you’ve done so well Lily, I wanted to see you dance in that role again.”

I loved her so much even though she was so very busy most of the time I realised suddenly how she did her best for me, she was around when she could be. Not like my father who was away abroad and we didn’t know when he’d be back.

“Thanks Mom.” I said simply then got out of the car and walked back to the stage door to get ready. I always had butterflies before hand, until I went out on stage.

**

The curtain came up for our final bow, the audience were cheering loudly and whistling. I’d danced well, one of my best performances I felt and I’d so enjoyed it, wondering what auditions I could attend next. I curtseyed feeling my face flushed with excitement and energy, looking out into the audience but not ever seeing their faces.

As the curtain came down we left the stage and went off to our dressing rooms to change, some of the girls were friendly, others kept themselves to themselves but we were all on a high, buzzing with excitement but sad at the same time because the show we’d all enjoyed had ended.

I was just wiping the heavy make up off my face when one of the girls that helped out came into the room. “Lily!” she shouted. “Is there a Lily here?”

I stood up, “I’m Lily,” I said. Wondering what she wanted.

“Lily, I have these for you,” she said handing me a bouquet of flowers, little tiny peach coloured roses.

“Oh…thanks,” I said taking the bouquet and sniffing at the strong scent, so very sweet and gorgeous that I just had to take another sniff. They must be from my mother, a gift for the last show. She was so thoughtful.

“Apparently the person that gave you them is just outside, down the corridor,” the girl said but then was gone on another errand. What was mother doing backstage? I thought to myself as I popped my head around the door and checked the corridor.

That’s when I saw him.

Frank.

Standing there with his hood up, hands in his pockets, smiling at me.

“I loved it.” He said coming towards me, still smiling. “You dance so well Lily, I just had to come and watch you dance.”

So he came. I couldn’t believe it, he came to see me dance and that was the moment I knew he liked me too.