Frank's Last Words

Lily woke early, because her limbs were aching from the previous night’s performance and she hadn’t slept too well either. There was only one thing for it, a long, leisurely bath and then…then what? She’d go and visit Carly she supposed recalling their conversation about going to the movies with Zach, yeah, they could check out the movies and see what was on because if she didn’t get out of the house she would go mad wondering when on earth she’d see Frank again.

They were playing tonight and she really wanted to go. May be Carly would like to go with her, she was bound to because if she liked Gerard as much as Lily liked Frank then she’d definitely want to go.

**

Caroline could hear her daughter getting herself some breakfast. She herself had been awake for hours, trying to remember where she’d put the photograph of her and her Frank from all those years ago and then it came to her where it was, she’d hidden it in an old diary that she’d put in the locked drawer of her desk so she’d got up at 4am and gone to her office, unlocked the drawer and taken the diary back to bed.

It was like opening a surprise present she thought as she opened the pages of the book and saw his face.

He was such a great guy.

He was the love of her life and she’d treated him appallingly.

So she put the photograph away quickly feeling that she didn’t even deserve to look at him.

**

Lily was restless and couldn’t stay indoors so decided to go for a walk before heading off to Carly’s. She hadn’t seen her mother, it was still early so she guessed she was still asleep and didn’t want to disturb her so snuck quietly out of the house.

As she closed the huge wrought iron gates behind her she sensed someone there, and turned quickly.

He was standing there, grinning at her, his hoody up over his head, his jeans hanging low and he was smoking a cigarette.

“Oh my god,” she said unexpectedly.

“Sorry if I scared you Lily but I had to see you. I forgot to get your phone number and figured if I got her early then I’d catch you. You wanna come watch me get that tattoo?” He asked, his eyes sparkling at her and she realised that he really didwant her to go with him and he hadn’t just said it.

Of course she’d go with him, she would get to see Carly later.

“I’d love to,” Lily said noticing how he was looking at her T shirt, an old one, the very dark navy blue one, like a midnight blue colour, it was just one of her favourites that she felt comfy in and wore often.

“You know that colour suits you,” said Frank taking another drag from his cigarette.

“What this old thing?” Carly said glancing at her t-shirt.

“Yeah, it…its…cool.” He said then he quickly changed the subject about the tattoo artist they were going to see and how he’d given him his first one and had been addicted to them ever since.

**

That night as Lily tried to get some sleep she couldn’t believe the day she’d had with Frank. It had been amazing. She’d sat alongside him as he’d had this awesome scorpion tattoo inked on his neck chatting all the time with Steve the tattoo artist. The three of them laughing together easily.

Then he’d taken her home to his for something to eat and she’d met his family. They were so warm and welcoming and she could see Frank was close to them all, especially his grandfather who was also called Frank and joked with Lily that Frank Jr had got his name and his good looks from him.

They were fantastic, warm and friendly. Their house wasn’t huge but it was welcoming and cosy and this made Lily ashamed suddenly of her home. Ashamed because of the huge house she lived in that she hated. She hated it so much she didn’t want Frank to go there and see how much they had. She didn’t want to show off to him about it.

She wasn’t ready for him to come and visit her home but she was sure he’d understand. He just seemed that way inclined.

Afterwards they went to Frank’s room to listen to some music then Frank called up Zach and said to bring Carly along to the gig tonight and that he was taking Lily himself and would meet them all backstage.

He came off the phone with a weird expression and he looked over at Lily who was sitting on his bed.

”You OK?” Said Lily wondering what had caused that look.

“Yeah…I think…I dunno, Zach seemed off with me, he acted as though I’d upset him or something and he was surprised that you were already with me,” said Frank.

” May be he’s just got something on his mind, I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Forget about it, he can act weird sometimes, just concentrate on your gig. I’m so looking forward to it,” said Lily and she was, she couldn’t wait to watch him play again.

“I can’t wait either,” said Frank. “Come here,” he said looking at her.

She went to him, he was standing over by his bedroom window and when she got to him he took her in his arms and just held her. He held her tight and said, “I’m glad you’re going to be there. I’m so excited.”

So now, lying in bed once more she couldn’t sleep because the show had been awesome, they’d played amazingly and had to come back on three times more to play encores as the crowd were going wild.

She’d felt comfortable there watching Frank play, comfortable in the environment, so comfortable she hadn’t wanted to come home to the huge, cold practically empty house but of course she had to.

**

The next day as she entered her dance school Madame Zola approached her just as she entered.

“Lily,” she said in her broken English. Madame Zola was Russian, she was extremely old but Lily had seen many photographs of Madame Zola over the years and she had been a beauty in her youth. She had this glossy jet black hair tied always in a bun, a bit like her own really although her own was often not as neatly tied. Her poise was just perfect but Lily knew why Madame Zola had never made in the business and that was because she was as short as she was.

“Oh good morning Madame,” said Lily in the usual address, just as Madame had wished.

“Lily would you come into my office, I need to speak with you please.” She said. Lily followed the old lady into her office, her once jet black hair now heavily peppered with grey streaks, her face lined but the eyes were still heavily made up, her back was still straight and she had a gracefulness about her even if she was old.

“Close the door and take a seat would you.” She said settling herself behind the huge mahogany desk.

Lily did as she was told.

“Lily what I’m about to tell you is so important to me. As you know, many of my students have left here and gone on to do wondrous things with their ballet but you Lily, you are different.” She said resting her gnarled and twisted hands onto the desk in front of her.

Lily just sat there wondering what was about to come. She herself wouldn’t being going on to do wondrous things because she’d never be accepted into a professional dance school. She was far too short and had accepted this years ago.

“You are different Lily but you remind me of myself when I was young. You are talented and have a gift but you…you can never dance as you’d like so…I have an offer for you.”

Lily listened carefully to her mentor who had taught her so much over the years.

“I’d like you to work for me. Be my assistant. There is no one else I would like to assist me than you Lily. You’ve proved yourself over the years to be a loyal, hard working and conscientious girl and if it wasn’t for you height you would have amounted to so much. I’d like you to help me, there are some things I cannot do now and…I need someone reliable.”

Lily was gobsmacked. To work with Madame Zola, to assist her would be an honour. It was what she had dreamt of, to teach ballet like she had been taught, to pass on all she knew to young and gifted students and to watch them thrive.

“I’d love to Madame Zola, I cannot believe you’re giving me this opportunity.”

“I’ve thought long and hard about it so…well…you can start today if you’d like. I shall show you everything you need to know about the business, you can even run your own classes if you wish and you can still dance here whenever you want to. Of course you can still go into shows, I shall put your name forward but to have you helping me would be such a weight from my shoulders.” She said, the expression hadn’t changed on her face. She remained as cool and aloof as she always did. Lily wondered then if Madame Zola had ever been married, had she ever been in love? Had she been once may be a Russian mistress to someone famous? Had she really lived her life at all before giving all her time and energies to her dance school?

Lily realised she probably would never know the answers to these thoughts but what she did know was that this opportunity was too good a one to miss. She couldn’t wait to tell her mother, she couldn’t wait to tell Frank. She wanted to see him smile at her again, to hold her in his arms and to…

”Lily,” Madame Zola said interrupting thoughts of Frank, I’ll have to get you to sign some papers. Please read them carefully before you sign.” She said and she stood up as Lily’s eyes came to rest on the pile of papers in front of her. She read carefully as Madame Zola left the room.

But that night as she arrived home, her good news was masked by the news her mother had for her.

Her father had been home, had packed up all his belongings and had gone without even waiting to see her so then her mother had to tel her everything, that her father had led another life over in England and had another three year old daughter as well with another woman and this woman had three children and he was leaving to go and be with them.

Lily had shouted at her mother for not telling her sooner and had stormed out of the house before her mother could even answer her, tears streaking down her face and all she wanted to do was go to Frank.

She needed to be held again.

Well he did, he held her while she sobbed the story out, he held her while she lay on his lap and fell asleep and when she awoke, she was lying on his chest, his tee shirt soaked with her tears and snot but he was still holding her, he was stroking her hair, he was comforting her and she’d never felt safer.

The Present Day

“Oh my god,” said Caroline looking at her daughter. She thought that Lily had never looked as gorgeous as this, even on her wedding day. A wedding to a guy she should never have married and the fact that she had to come over here and get dressed for the premiere because he wouldn’t ‘approve’ of the dress she was wearing was even more proof that she shouldn’t have married him. Caroline just wished that Lily would come to her senses and just accept she’d married the wrong man.

She had married him on the rebound, it was obvious and it was exactly what she herself had done all those years ago. When she’d left Frank and gone to Pete and she knew she was going to regret this for the rest of her life.

“I’m not so sure, isn’t it a little revealing?” Said Lily glancing at herself into the long mirror in her mother’s familiar bedroom.

“Of course its not, its perfect.” Said Caroline. Why couldn’t she just see how gorgeous she was, she lacked so much confidence just lately.

Lily actually thought she looked OK too as she studied herself in the mirror. The dress looked even better now that she’d done her hair and make up than when she’d tried it on earlier in the shop. She knew as soon as she saw it that it was the dress she should wear to the premiere, it was a midnight blue, almost black silk dress with matching sandals, but she’d never worn anything like this before, a long backless silk dress which was so low at the back it would show off her tattoo.

She wondered if he’d notice it.

She wondered if she’d see him at all, even though she knew he was to attend. She wondered if he was with anyone and wondered if he was happy. Would he talk to her? May be he’d ignore her. Would he think she looked over dressed?

She didn’t know what he’d think or do and she felt apprehensive and she felt a headache starting. If she could turn down the evening now then she would but she was proud of her mother and wanted to be there for her especially as her mother didn’t have anyone else to take.

Glancing at herself once more in the long mirror she heard her mother call out as the doorbell went.

“The taxi’s here sweetheart. Ready?”

Yes she thought to herself she was ready. She was ready to see him again.