It's Like Getting a Permanent High Five

And the dudes are linin’ up, cuz they hear we got swagger, but we kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.

“Ugh!” It was all I could say as I reluctantly got up to answer my phone. Why in hell did I put it on the other side of the room? Oh yeah, I happened to stumble in and trip, sending it flying across the room. Did I mention I forgot to close the blinds, great way to wake up.
“Hello?” I said in the bitchiest tone I could muster at the time being.
“TIFFANY! Why aren’t you up yet?” I instantly knew who it was, Stormy, the only one stupid enough to call me.
“I’ll give you two guesses, but it’ll only take you one.”
“Do you really think you’ll forget him by getting shit-faced almost every night?”
“Honestly? My goal is to lose the brain cells that contained any thought of him, so, yes.”
“Jesus, I will be over in 10 minutes, okay?”
“Yes mom.”
“Oh, and put some pants on this time.” She just managed to shout before I hit the evil red button.
I quickly looked under the covers and realized I did in fact have pants on from last night. Good, one less thing that I have to do. I could take them off just to make her mad, but I couldn’t be bothered in the current state I was in.
Grunting and moaning I slugged my way into the bathroom across the hall, mainly to get away from the cornea-burning rays of sun. I brushed my morning breath away and put my hair into a messy ponytail. I grabbed to Tylenol before making my way to the kitchen.
I didn’t grab a cup of water, instead just dipped my head under the faucet and swallowed the little saviors in pill form. Sighing to myself I pretty much dove into the medium sized comfy couch. Just as I laid down face first into it, there was a knock on my apartment door.
“COME IN!” I shouted, not wanting to get up.
No answer, just knocking.
“Come innnn.” I yelled louder.
No answer, once again, just more fucking knocking.
“If you’re not going to come in then leave.”
Even more fucking knocking.
Fine, I thought to myself, I just won’t say anything, they’ll eventually go away.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
Ok, now they must be leaving.
The same rhythmic tune of knocking kept playing in my ears.
Who knocks that long without leaving?
Knockity knock knockity.
Assholes!
“Finally,” I whispered to myself after waiting about 30 seconds in silence.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!
Holy shit, now they’re getting violent with the door.
“JUST COME IN ALREADY, STUPID FUCKER!” I yelled, reaching the brink.
“Is that any way to treat a house guest?” The person answered before waltzing in.
“Stormy, why didn’t you just walk in like always?” I snapped back.
“It is very rude and illegal,” She said it so nonchalantly, sitting down in a chair across from me.
“Oh lord, please kill me now.” I said looking up into the heavens for help.
“Do you really think that he would help you now, I mean after years of living in sin, with all of th-“ I cut her off there by throwing a useless throw pillow at her.
“You better have a good reason for coming over here before noon.”
“Oh, believe me I do.”
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