Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You.

"Oh, Christ, Hols, my head!" John groaned, stumbling out of the bunks to the laughter of his fellow band mates, all of whom had kept fairly sober last night and had already agreed to my plan. None of my boys knew about my past, all they knew was I was Holly Rae from Baltimore and I had a past I didn't care to talk about. Not one has pestered me for it in the past two years, and I was perfectly happy to keep it that way.
"Morning, Johnny," I chuckled, throwing a bottle of painkillers at him and pouring him a glass of water. "Have fun last night?"
"I don't remember!" He groaned, holding his head in his hands. "It's all a blur after 11 o'clock." I watched him swallow the pills he needed and quickly checked my watch. I had another few minutes before I had to go help set up merch.
"Well, you decided you wanted to introduce me to your 'Mayday boys'," I laughed.
"My Mayday boys...?" I simply laughed again, loudly, just for the sheer fact that it made him wince painfully. "Bitch."
"You love me. Anyway, any boys from All Time Low ask, I'm called Stella. Anyone with any relation to the boys of All Time Low, I'm called Stella. Got that?"
"You want me to lie to my friends...?" I pretended to think for a moment.
"Yes. Yes, I do. It's for me and my sanity, come on, John Ohh!"
"Have Garrett and the others agreed to this?" He asked, pulling an unimpressed face.
"Yes, they have. They're telling anyone who asks that I'm called Stella. Holly is only for the people I see fit to trust, m'kay?"
"What about Jasey?"
"That name shall never be spoken on this tour, understood? I am not Jasey Rae any more and you know it."
"John, agree with the girl and let her go set up merch!" Jared scolded, coming into the room.
"Fine, but she has the day off tomorrow, remember? We need to find someone else to set up merch. You think you can find anyone up for it, Jared?" Jared nodded and I looked between the two, confused.
"I have the day off?"
"Yeah, we're only a couple of hours away from Baltimore; we figured you'd want to go visit some old friends, or maybe your family."
"I have visited my hometown in two years, what makes you think I want to go now?" John frowned at me, clearly not impressed by my choices. He didn't know the only reasons I ever had to be in Maryland were on this tour, along with the only reason I left. I knew Jack and Maria were still together, I'd heard her mentioned passing by Rian and Jack, the two talking about their loves coming to visit. I knew I'd have to see her sooner or later, and for once I was more nervous about her judgement than Kara's. I always remembered being worried that Kara still didn't approve of me from the things I used to do, now I was scared that one of my best friends wouldn't like me any more from something I had done two years previously.
"I'm not going home, John. No way," I stated a hard look in my eyes. He knew I meant business; he always did from this tone of voice. The only time he'd ever doubted it had resulted in my not talking to him for an entire week until he apologised a hundred times over.
"But your heart must lie in your home town," he pressed. He was being wary of saying the wrong thing, I could see that, but he still didn't want to let up just yet.
"I know where my heart lies. And believe me when I say it's not in Maryland." No, my heart lay right here. A couple of buses over, probably crashed out in his bunk.
"Then tell me where it does lie. Two years and we haven't had a damn thing from you, Holly." I just shook my head. I always knew John would be the first to break and start pestering me. I could see it from the first time Garrett had asked about my past, about why I had skipped out on passing high school in my home state. Yes, that's right; I didn't graduate in Maryland, nor did I graduate in Phoenix. I was still just another High school drop out with nothing to their name. This was the only way I could make money. I had been so Hell bent on doing something literate with my life and I got landed stacking shelves in Wal-Mart, then stocking merch for the boys when they needed me. It didn't pay well, it wasn't my dream, but I was happy with it. I don't recall ever being unhappy with these boys around. The only trouble came when they were gone.
"I'm not telling you shit, O'Callaghan. Leave it alone." He opened his mouth to make another comment but Jared cut him off.
"Leave it, bro. She won't tell us, accept it and move on." John sighed and nodded.
"Good, now I'm going to set up merch. And this time tomorrow, I'll be setting up merch. I'm not skipping out on you for a lousy town I don't ever want to see again, okay?" Jared nodded quickly and told me to go. I smiled and almost skipped out of the door. Despite the fact of who was on this tour with me, it felt good to be on the road. I always loved the road trips I had taken over the years; somehow this one seemed better than all but one. I shook my head quickly before I got lost in the past and carried on my way to the venue, grabbing a bottle of water on my way round. I loved how I got to wake up somewhere new every day, and if I wanted I could go off and explore for a couple of hours before setting up the merch. Obviously this close to home, I didn't want that. I'd been here before in my childhood years with parents, and I didn't need to be reminded of them right now. Not when it was so easy for me to get to the place I once called home. I wondered if Maria still lived in our apartment, if Jack had joined her there. Maybe even with Alex in my old room. Or maybe she'd left it completely. I shook my head again; I couldn't possibly carry on thinking like this. My encounter with Alex last night had shaken me, and I was still hurt that he hadn't recognised me. The girl he'd travelled across the country for, the one he'd claimed to love. Yes, I knew about him coming. John had come back into the room frowning, talking about a miserable looking boy named Alex from Baltimore looking for a girl named Jasey. He'd said he'd felt so bad for him. That he'd perked up when he'd heard me talking, so he told him we were together. It wasn't until a few months later that John had discovered I was called Jasey; fortunately he didn't seem to remember the boy from my doorstep, or the girl he'd been looking for. He didn't remember Alex Gaskarth broken hearted on my doorstep looking for me.
"Stellaaaaa!" I heard five minutes into starting to lug around boxed. I sighed inwardly. He was sober and it was light out now, things could change.
"Yes, Alex?" I asked, forcing a smile at him.
"Why is it you're the only pretty girl I've met that's strong, too?"
"I'm carrying a box of t-shirts, it hardly makes me strong."
"Yes, but any other girl I've met would be whining about how much their arms hurt by the time they took two steps."
"But I'm not like most other girl's you've met," I told him.
"Touché. You need help?" I sighed. I should say no, but I have a habit of doing exactly what was bad for me.
"If you wouldn't mind." Alex picked up another one of the boxes from behind me, following as I carried it over to the booth, and repeating until everything was set up. "Thanks Alex, I'm glad of the help."
"No problem, Stell. Hey, you feel like hanging out for a bit? I have sound check now, but you can join and we can wander for a bit after." I thought it over in my head. I knew I should go back to the bus and hang out with John and the others, but it had been so long since I'd been with any of the guy's that I couldn't help but feel the need to join them. After all, they'd been my best friends for ages in High School, Alex was my first (and so far only) love, I felt like I owed it to myself to see how they'd changed and grown up, or if they hadn't at all.
"Yeah, I'd like that," I smiled.
"Well, come on then! I was supposed to meet Jack twenty minutes ago!" He grinned, grabbing my hand and dragging me along toward the stage area, making me laugh. It went down deeper than a laugh had in two years, and I'd missed it more than I cared to admit. "Jack!" Alex screamed at the sight of him. It had been so long since I'd seen him. I still expected the skunk hair to be around, but he'd gotten rid of the blonde and had kept it all dark brown now. It suited him, even if I did prefer his old hair. I guess it was just something he grew out of.
"Alex! You're twenty minutes late!" Jack replied as Alex and I stood in front of him, Alex dropping my hand as we stopped. I felt disappointed at this, though knew I shouldn't. Alex shouldn't mean a thing to me any more; it won't ever be me and him again, not like that. I'd made a promise to myself the day I'd left, and I couldn't break it now.
"Sorry, I saw Stella and offered to help set up merch with her. She's The Maine's merch bitch," Alex grinned. Jack looked at me sceptically, probably running through his mind what Alex could possibly be planning, and how many days I would last like the others did. That was until he hit my face. His forehead crumpled in confusion, something obviously sending a spark of recognition through him.
"Hey, I'm Stella," I smiled brightly. "Well, I'm not, Alex'll explain," I laughed. Alex grinning at me again.
"She won't tell me her name. She named herself after a bottle of Stella Artois," he told Jack. Jack raised his eyebrows at me, and I shrugged my shoulders.
"I like her," he said to Alex. I laughed at him, smile staying on my lips long after. "Come on, sound check. Then you can run off with Miss Artois," Jack joked. The pair led me to the front of the stage, where Alex sat me down to look out across the venue with my legs dangling over the edge of the stage. I didn't bother watching the sound check, too mesmerised by the sheer size of the venue. I was so proud of them. They were my boys and they'd finally made it.
"Having fun?" Alex asked, jumping down next to me. I hadn't even realised their sound check was over. I was already worrying that the guys wouldn't like me, thinking I was another of Alex's tramps, only somehow managing to have hair as dark as Jack's instead of bleach blonde. Admittedly my blonde roots were starting to show through a little, but that was nothing a bit of dye couldn't fix. The point still stood that my lack of attention at their sound check when I was supposedly new to the entire thing when it came to All Time Low wasn't going to get me into anyone's good books. I knew Alex; if his friends hated me, he wouldn't think I was worth his time. Although maybe that was what I needed? My old friends to dislike me so I wouldn't get wrapped up in him all over again.
"Yeah, I'm just in total awe of this venue. I remember when my boys were playing tiny little clubs," I told him. My words held a double meaning, two different sets of boys - both All Time Low and The Maine. I'd loved watching them both grow as they had.
"Bands have got to grow up someday," Alex nodded.
"They've come so far, though! I'm so proud they've managed it, but then I'm going to miss being their biggest fan."
"Our three," he stopped, sighing. "Sorry, two, biggest fans have stayed the same since high school. Kara and Maria. There's no way to beat the fans that have been there through it all." I cocked my head to a side, raising my eyebrows at him.
"Who was the third?"
"She was- she... she doesn't matter," he told me, shaking his head. I looked down momentarily; I didn't know whether to be offended that I no longer mattered, happy that he still thought about me, or upset for the exact same reason. Alex was supposed to have gotten over his little spell with me. I laid my hand softly on top of his own, the only thing that felt natural. He looked up at me.
"She matters, I can see it. You don't have to tell me anything, just don't try and trick me," I smiled. He grinned weakly back.
"Thanks, Stella, I'll remember that."
"I'm already yearning to tell you guys to jump each others bones and get it over with," another boy stated, plopping down on my other side. Alex let out a laugh. A sense of déjà vu hit me then, remembering the day Alex and I had spent getting to know each other away from everyone. It was weird to think it wouldn't hit him the same; that he didn't know
"Stella, this is Zack Merrick, our bassist. Zack, this is Stella."
"Yeah, I heard. Jack was telling us," Zack nodded. "Nice to meet you Stella." He smiled.
"You too, Zack."
"So, where'd you come from?"
"Tempe."
"You don't sound western," he noted.
"I moved there two years ago, met John and Jared, never looked back." Zack nodded, taking the hint I wasn't going to tell him any more than that.
"I'd better get back. Jack was on the verge of raping Rian as I left, I need to stop him," he chuckled.
"Later, Merrick," Alex called as Zack stood and left. "I thought nobody got anything for free off you?"
"It's not difficult to figure out I came from Tempe if I'm with The Maine, Alex," I laughed. He shrugged.
"Come hang with me and my bitches," he grinned. I laughed as he helped me up off the stage, pulling me over to Jack and the others. "Correction: me and my bitch." He grinned once more, grabbing Jack and pulling the both of us away from Rian and Zack.
"Any idea where we're going?" Jack asked.
"Not a fucking clue," I laughed.