Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You.

"Jasey-fucking-Rae," the girl stated, glaring at me. I bit my lip, looking down again, hand automatically reaching for the chain around my neck. "Where the Hell were you?!" She growled. "Alex and Jack went fucking insane with you gone, for Christ's sake!" I bit my lip harder, looking up at her as the tears welled up in my eyes.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm fucking sorry," I whispered, tears close to spilling out of my eyes. "I didn't mean to. No one was supposed to miss me." Her hold all dropped to the floor again, and she rushed over giving me a hug.
"You fucking douche, Rae. We were always going to miss you - even if you called every day," she chuckled. I sniffled, wiping my eyes as she pulled away, a stupid grin finally forming on her face. "How come the guys didn't tell me you were here?" She asked, noting the staff pass attached to my jeans.
"They don't know it's me," I told her, frowning. "And you can't tell them. I'm not staying, so they can't get attached, understood?"
"It depends - are you Stella?" I nodded. "Sweetie, they're both attached already." I groaned.
"Just don't tell them. They know I'm not staying, but if I'm Jasey they'll make me. Do you get it now?" She nodded briefly, turning and picking up her hold all.
"So, are you going to help me find my boy?" I grinned and nodded, going into the building and trying to find the boys.
"Maria!" A male voice shouted, running straight by me and tackling his girl in a hug. "I missed you, I missed you, I missed you!" He groaned, grip seeming to get tighter.
"Thanks for the PDA, Barakat," I chuckled.
"Stella! You've met my girl!" Jack grinned at me. I laughed, nodding. "Oh, Gaskarth is looking for you. Said to tell you he's sorry for something or other?" I snorted.
"He's sorry for calling me Jasey," I told him. His jaw dropped.
"He did that?!" I nodded. "Douche. Don't worry, you're better than Jasey." I raised my eyebrow. "Jasey didn't buy me a Big Mac first day we met," he grinned at me. I laughed again and Maria hit him lightly.
"That's because the day you met you were in school, dufus," she told him. I spoke up quickly, catching the look on Jack's face as he looked at Maria and knowing that far too much PDA was on its way.
"Okay, I'm gonna go find Gaskarth. I'll see you two later," I told them both. The pair waved at me, grins plastered to their faces and turned back to each other as soon as they could. I quickened my pace through the venue, deciding I should check the bus first, knowing Alex had probably gotten a cab back and was moping somewhere or other. I didn't bother knocking to get onto the bus, merely put in the code and opened the door, knowing I would find Alex either in front of the TV or in his bunk.
"Stella!" He screamed, much the same way as Jack had when he saw Maria, grin spreading onto his face from the couch, though not even making it look like he was going to move.
"You're such a fag, Gaskarth," I laughed, pushing his feet off the sofa and sitting where they had been previously.
"How come you're here? You were mad at me half an hour ago," he frowned, suddenly remembering what had happened in Subway. I snorted.
"Sweetie, I was mad at you two minutes ago, never mind half an hour. Barakat said you were looking for me," I shrugged.
"That's because you're pretty, and I'm sorry," he grinned.
"So I'm just pretty?" I smirked, raising an eyebrow. Some things never did seem to change with me.
"I'm stopping all inappropriate comments so you'll tell me your name," he told me with a smile.
"Not the way to do it, Alex," I laughed.
"Fine, then tell me it so I can scream it later," he winked.
"I'm okay with you screaming Stella when you jerk off."
"Ouch. That hurt, right here," he pouted, pointing to his chest.
"Aww, want me to kiss it better?" He nodded, finger rising to his cheek so I wasn't kissing his t-shirt. I pecked him on the cheek quickly and pulled back.
"And here," he pouted again, pointing to his lips.
"We went through this yesterday, Alex," I stated shortly. This wasn't the way to get me back in his good books.
"No, you said we can't have sex again, or have a relationship. What you didn't say was that you couldn't give me a friendly kiss every once in a while."
"I swear to God, you don't get it!"
"Then explain to me!"
"Alex, everything is so complicated in my life right now. I have stupid boys I fell in love with years ago turning my life upside down all over again, and stupid best friends disapproving of everything I do, and I have you! I have you being so fucking amazing, and so funny, and just so fucking perfect I can't stand it."
"I told you there's nothing you can't trust me with," he mumbled, all traces of his grin now faded. I stood up sharply, close to glaring at him. I know he didn't know what he was asking, or who he was asking it of, but it pissed me the hell off.
"Yes there is! Oh, my God! What do you want? Do you want me to tell you I had my heart broken? That I've spent the past two years running from a silly boy who didn't know what he meant to me? Do you want me to tell you that while all this is going on I keep telling myself I'm over him, but I couldn't think of anyone else for almost three years? Do you really want me to tell you that? Honestly?"
"Stella, calm down. I want you to tell me what you want to tell me. I want you to trust me. What I don't want is for you to get hurt." I slumped down next to him on the sofa again, pulling my legs up and cuddling into him.
"I like you, Alex. I like you a lot. I'm just... scared," I whispered, feeling his arm go around me and pull me closer.
"I know. I'm scared too, Stell, more than you know," he whispered back, kissing the top of my head.
I sighed, closing my eyes and breathing in his scent. For the first time in two and a half years, it felt right; I felt safe. I finally felt at home again.