Dedication Takes a Lifetime

I walked into the store, under my own power, looking for the telltale ginger locks and listening for the signature laugh. I spotted Mason talking to a girl as he faced a wall covered in boards. Molly went over and jabbed her fingers into his sides, where he was especially ticklish. He squirmed away with a yell and began reprimanding his sister as she collapsed in laughter. I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a splash of an unmistakable red-orange, which I turned and found; I snuck up behind Shaun and covered his eyes.

“Hey!”

“Guess who?” I asked in a low voice.

“Molly…”

“Wrong.”

“Casey?”

“Yup.” I kissed his bushy hair.

“You’re back already?” He turned around and hugged me, kissing my cheek. “Hey… no cast?”

“Got it off,” I told him with a smile. “Doctor said I’m good to go!”

“Oh my God, Casey! Congrats!” He picked me up and spun me around in celebration. “Let’s… let’s get you a new board to commemorate this! We can try it out this afternoon!” He smiled.

I paled at the thought. “No, no. I have my baby at home.”

“This calls for a new board, Case. C’mon.”

I saw that there was no hope for changing his mind, so I went along reluctantly. The board I chose eventually was really nice, the underside shiny and decorated with giant rainbow letters spelling out Burton. “Dude, you should totally come do the Open with us,” Shaun added as we paid. “They’d totally give you a sponsorship.”

“We’ll see,” I replied, evading any definite answer.

As he drove me home – our new boards in the backseat – I noticed my hand trembling as it rested on my thigh. I sat on it so Shaun wouldn’t notice. I didn’t want him to know I was scared.

“How does it feel to walk on your leg again?”

“Really good. No more crutches! Woo!” I hoped my voice held the proper excitement. “I like being independent again.” I paused, watching the buildings go by as we got closer to the slopes. “Why’re we going here?”

“To ride.”

“Can’t we go home first?” My voice was wavering. No. No no no.

“Why bother?”

“Our goggles and helmets are back there.”

“We can ride without.” His manner was very nonchalant – he didn’t care.

“Shaun. I want to go home.” My tone was firm, as if I was talking to a child.

“Why? I figured you’d be thrilled.” He pulled into the lot and parked. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“I want to go home.” I felt like the child now as I crossed my arms.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Shaun, I do not want to be here. I want to go home.”

“Something’s up, Squirrel. This isn’t like you.”

“Not until you tell me – “

”Just take me home, Shaun.”

He looked frightened and did as he was told; the drive home was spent in total silence.

Once we got inside, he threw the keys on the table by the door angrily and followed me as I walked quickly into the kitchen.

“Casey Erin Burgess,” he shouted, causing me to halt.

“Shaun Roger White.”

“What the fuck is up with you?”

I turned away from him and stared out at his snowy backyard, watching the sunlight sparkle off the packed flakes.

“You’ve never turned down a chance to race me. Hell, you’ve never turned down a chance to ride. I thought you’d be thrilled.” He put his hand on the counter and sighed. “Don’t say you’re fine, cos you’re not. I know you better than that. Mase might buy it, Molly might buy it, but I don’t. Tell me why you refuse to ride.”

I sighed and crossed my arms, hugging myself. “I just don’t want to.” I turned to face him.

“Bullshit. Tell me the real reason.”

“That is the real reason!” Our voices were steadily getting louder as the argument escalated.

“No it’s not!”

“Fine! You want a ‘real’ reason, Shaun? I’ll give you a fucking real reason! I’m scared!”