Like A.M. Radio

Kandi was a nervous wreck as she sat in her silver SUV behind the science building. Though she kept her black oversized shades down over her eyes, she knew that she wasn’t hiding anything from anyone. Everyone probably knew by now about whatever happened between her and Logan; she just only hoped she could get to Thomas before anyone else did. With her luck, some trashy Row skank had already run her mouth to Thomas in a lame attempt to break them up. It wouldn’t have surprised Kandi one bit. Everyone tried to make it seem as if college was on a higher level socially than high school, but when it came down to it, college was just glorified high school as far as drama was concerned.

Though Kandi tried to steer clear of those situations, they always managed to find her.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she noticed Logan coming down the sidewalk pathway to the parking lot, and she stepped out of her car so that he would see her. Glancing at her phone, she noticed that he was a few minutes late, but none of that seemed to matter when she saw Logan’s face.

“Oh my God, what’s wrong?” she could hear herself repeating over and over, the words tumbling over each other, thickened by her drawl.

“It’s nothing,” he muttered. Logan brushed her hand off of his shoulder as he walked towards the car.

They both climbed into the SUV in silence. Kandi’s hands held the steering wheel loosely as her brown eyes stared listlessly through the windshield. She racked her brain for the right words, the words that would make everything be okay, but they never came.

Logan sat in the passenger’s seat with his head down, his chocolate eyes focused on his knees. He didn’t have to say the words, she just knew. Even though she barely knew him, Kandi couldn’t help but feel responsible for the events that unfolded, and she wanted to tell him something, anything, that would ease his pain. The guilt coursed through her body and made her feel lower than shit. Neither Logan nor Thomas deserved to be put through this, and Kandi knew that she had to make everything right.

After snapping her seatbelt into place, she pushed the key forward in the ignition, causing the motor to rumble.

Right now, Kandi just needed to escape.

Kandi had always found comfort in the atmosphere of the Starbucks down the street from campus. Every though her real home was only a twenty-minute drive from Wofford, she still preferred the dimly lit, closed-in feel of the coffee shop. The bold aroma of coffee beans accented with hints of vanilla and cinnamon filled her nostrils, and she instantly felt her muscles relax at the familiar scent.

“Hi, I’ll have a venti skinny vanilla latte,” she said as soon as she reached the counter, her voice dripping with forced enthusiasm. It didn’t matter how shitty her life was at the moment, she wasn’t going to let her sour mood affect anyone else’s day.

As the barista was making her drink, Kandi turned back to Logan. “Order anything you want, it’s on me.” She offered him a faint smile, but just looking at his face brought on a flood of negative thoughts.

He squinted his eyes as he stared up at the menu board, and she could tell that even though he tried to play it off, he had no clue what to order.

“Uh, I’ll just take a decaf coffee,” Logan replied, his eyes still focused on the board.

“Can’t handle the caffeine?” she joked, trying to thwart off the guilt that was coursing through her body.

The beginnings of a smile tugged the corners of his lips upwards. “I don’t really want to test the waters.”

She rolled her eyes, feeding off the tiny sliver of positive energy. “A little caffeine isn’t going to kill you, Logan.”

“I don’t want to take the chance,” he said, laughter soaking into the edges of his words.

The barista handed them their coffees as Kandi searched her purse for her wallet, eventually pulling out the familiar pink and green vinyl case. She could feel the rough texture of the threaded “K” against her thumb as she fished out a ten-dollar bill, slowly handing the crumpled paper to the girl. The barista gave her back a couple singles in return, and Kandi placed them in her wallet before she and Logan moved away from the counter.

They snagged a table in the corner of the small café, tucked away between a couch and one side of the long counter that wrapped across the area. Kandi didn’t want any other Wofford students that may be using the café as a study hall to see them there together.

“So…how’s your day going?” she asked, regretting the words almost immediately after they left her mouth. It was her go-to conversation starter, but this wasn’t exactly a typical conversation.

“Wonderful,” he replied, pointing to the greenish purple bruise that was beginning to surround his already-swollen eye. “How about yours?”

With her eyes focused on the warm drink in her hands, she slowly shook her head before she met his gaze. “Couldn’t be better.”

Neither of them spoke for a short stretch of time; Kandi poured three packets of Splenda into her coffee as usual, stirring the warm liquid and powder together with the small green stirrer, Starbucks’s trademark mermaid gripped loosely between her thumb and index finger. Logan held his cup to his lips, the steam escaping from the opening in the lid.

Though she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was, something about him reminded her of herself, the Kandi she’d slowly begun to bury deep inside of herself when she’d started dating Thomas.

It was something in his mannerisms, the way his fingers trembled as he tore open the sugar packet and his brown eyes darted around the room nervously. It was the way she could see the words hang off the tip of his tongue, a million words he wanted to say but couldn’t.

That used to be Kandi, but now she was someone else, and she had no problem breaking the silence.

“So listen, I’m really sorry about what happened last night. To tell you the truth, it’s really embarrassing for me because I never get that drunk or do things like that, and I really don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me. And I feel like shit that you had to get dragged into all this, especially on your first day here.” She paused for a moment as she let out a sigh and pushed her bangs from her eyes. “Anyways, maybe we could start off fresh?”

He nodded, smiling as he offered her his hand. “Hi, I’m Logan.”

“Nice to meet you, Logan. I’m Kandi,” she laughed to herself as she shook his hand across the table, nervously tossing her hair over her shoulder with her free hand.

“Thanks for the coffee,” he said, nodding towards his cup as he got up to throw it in the garbage.

“It was kinda the least I could do,” she replied as she stood up from the table.

Kandi joined Logan beside the trashcan, and they walked together towards the door. He held the door open for her, and she smiled at him as she passed through, her eyes squinting as soon as she walked out into the bright sunshine.

As they stood on the sidewalk in front of her car, Kandi used her hand to shield her eyes from the sun as she asked the one question that had been eating away at her insides from the very moment she woke that morning.

“Um, this is totally awkward, but…we didn’t…have sex… did we?”

Logan’s face twisted into a grin as he shoved a hand into the back pocket of his jeans, making her feel even more like a drunk slut. She couldn’t have been more relieved when he answered her with a slow shake of his head.

“You wanted to, though,” he laughed as he began to climb into the car.

Kandi rolled her eyes, not sure whether he was joking or not, and her face flushed pink as she slid into the driver’s seat.