Killing Me Softly

We arrived in the airport soon after my little 'episode'.

I found myself being glad that I'd never see Billie, or Mike again in California.

I embarrassed myself too much to see them again.

As soon as the plane touched down I had butterflies in my stomach.

This was my new beginning.

This was scary.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I remembered my last night in Iceland.

I still couldn't believe Claire and Jonas would do such a thing to me, and that my other friends were keeping it from me.

I closed my eyes roughly, keeping the tears back as I stood up and took my on board luggage out of the over head locker.

This was my chance to make a new life for myself. Don't stuff it up.

At the baggage carousel I collected my things, staring at the massive suit case I bought.

All my 'possessions' were in there. Even a photo of me and Jonas.

Tears formed behind my eyes again as I thought of the situation I was in right now.

Stop it, I told myself. He was your past...

Shortly after that I found my mother.

''Ready?'' She breathed, and I knew she had butterflies in her stomach about all this too.

''No.'' I replied, ''I want to go back to Iceland. I loved it there.''

She ignored me, I knew she was thinking tenderly about asking me a question.

''What is it?'' I asked her angrily.

''It's just... Well I'm proud of you. And... Last night... You were so upset coming back from Jonas's. Did something happen?''

Part of me wanted to cry to her, tell her everything. Make her smooth my hair, stroke my back, tell me everything was fine.

''I don't want to talk about it.'' I said simply, turning my back on her.

''Please, tell me?'' She asked again, hopefully.

''Fine. Jonas cheated on me with Claire. Full on. They had sex.'' I was surprised I mentioned sex in front of my mother.

Her face froze in horror.

''You and Jonas have had sex?'' She asked, rather loudly.

''Yes.'' I replied worriedly. ''But I didn't say me and Jonas, I said Claire and Jonas-''

''Jonas is a thing of the past. Do not ever speak of him again. Do you hear me? And don't you think having sex at fifteen is reasonable. For Gods' sake, Sadie! I can't believe this.''

''But, Mother... Don't you think I should talk things out with him?''

''No,'' she replied. ''Not only did he sleep with you, he slept with Claire, too. I knew you dating an 18 year old was a horrible idea. For Gods' sake you could be pregnant right now! But no, I tried to show reason... Leave them be, said your father. They love each other, he said...''

I tuned out after her lecture. I couldn't be bothered listening to her anymore.

It was a nightmare.

First of all, we finally got a taxi and mum forgot her purse in the airport, so we had to go back.

Then, if that wasn't bad enough, our taxi driver didn't wait for us and we couldn't find another one.

Eventually, when we sat in the taxi, the driver had no clue where we needed to go, and spent almost an hour finding it on the GPS system.

''Just give up, Móðir.'' I practically yelled. ''We both know we don't belong here. Just suck it up and go back to Iceland.''

''Do not talk to me like that. In fact, from now on, Iceland is not a topic for convosation. You're forbidden to talk about it, understand? That includes your father, Claire, Jonas, Sara... Anything. Just forget we were ever there. I've applied for both of us to become American citizens, and I'm sorry, Sadie, but you have absolutely no say in this.''

''That is so unfair!'' I screamed, losing my grip on this situation.

''No.'' She said simply. ''It's reasonable, it's practical. And, young lady, don't think you'll be going anywhere until I figure out your punishment for doing what you did with Jonas. That, in every way towards me, is in every way inappropriate-''

Again I tuned out from her lectures.

This is going to be a rough few months, alright.

Billie...

Why was I thinking of--

Oh. My. God.

Billie!