I Thought You Could Never Love a Monster. I Was Wrong.

After my breakdown yesterday, I decided that I would keep a distance from everyone. I told myself that I was stronger than that. That I didn't need to cry anymore. It's been a year, and I should be over it already. But somehow I couldn't make myself believe any of it.

I did my normal routine in the morning, as usual and headed off to school. I knew I would be the one that everyone knew as the crybaby. After what happened, I knew that I was bound to be in a lot of hell.

I got to school a little late. Well, I was late; the parking lot had no students what so ever. I grabbed my bag and walked to the doors. I went to my locker and grabbed my books for my first classes, then headed off for Calculus.

I rushed in to find the whole class staring at me. Few of them making little comments that I could not hear. One boy in particular caught my eye. It was Edward Cullen. The boy who I found to be the most attractive man in the world. His eyes were a dark golden color, but they were awfully tempting. He looked straight at me, and just the small part of his mouth, set to the side. He had the most peculiar smile I'd ever seen.

I looked down fast, knowing that I was going to blush that horrible shade of red.
Once I got to my seat, which was across from Edward's seat, I began to pay attention and take my notes.

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My classes went by fast for the most part. But I then realized it was time for lunch. This ought to be great. I grabbed my sack lunch and sat down at the table nearest to the window.
It was so uncomfortable here, I didn't like it at all.

The next thing I knew, 3 figures were sitting at my table. The first girl who spoke was pretty, in an unusual way. Her hair was a very pale blonde, and very straight.

"Hi, i'm Becka, and this here is Nate, and Kelly," she pointed first to the boy with chubby cheeks, and hair like wet sand. Then to the girl whose fact was very prominent from her bone structure, and her hair was a very pale red color. She was as well, pretty.

"Um. Hi," I said back, not really sure what else to say, I comment,"I'm Remy." I added a small smile to it.

"Well, of course you are. You're new, and you're the topic that is being passed around," Kelly said with laughter; my eyes got a little wide, "Oh! no no, it'll die down by Friday." she added, still laughing.

I muttered a 'hmm', and got back to eating my sandwich that was not torn apart; fully.

I looked up to see Becka smiling,"Well, we thought you looked lonely, so we came to befriend you. If that's okay, I mean." Her voice cracked just near the end.

"Oh, um, sure. Thanks." I muttered, half smiling; again.

I saw Brooke and her group looking over at me; almost curious, and skeptically.

Nate seemed to be too quiet, and he seemed to feel out of place. But then he came right out and said, "You should come to the party this Friday night. It's at my house, on Fourth Street, nearest the alley way and the gas station." He smiled; but his smile couldn't compare to Edward's.

"Oh, um... Well," I weighed my opions carefully: If I go, I could make some new friends and forget about everything else. Or, I could not go, and be lonely for the rest of my life, and mourn over everything.

I chose option one. "Yeah, that sounds fun. Thanks for inviting me." I added a small laugh just to lighten the mood: hardly.

The bell rang just then and I got up to grab my bag to leave.

"Great!" Becka chimed, "This is great. I hope we can be really good friends." she giggled, giving me a very awkward hug.

"Yeah." I said, and walked off quickly.

God, that was kind of weird. I hardly know them and i'm already getting hugs from Becka? I mean, atleast i'm going somewhere this weekend.
A party. Great.

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So, my second day at Forks High School and already I have some friends; err, well, maybe. And I was already going to a party. I was invited by people who don't even know me. I felt a rush of sickness as this thought ran through my head, over and over again.

I was invited by people who don't even know me.

~*~

I was on my way to my car when I saw Edward looking over at me. His stare caught me in a grip that I couldn't even try to look away. Not that i'd want to. I could spend every waking moment staring into those warm eyes of his.

I got into my car and started it, to which it roared to life. I looked back as I started out of the parking lot to see Edward nowhere in sight. How could he have passed me? It wasn't that long for me to look at him and then get into my car. What the hell? Oh well, I thought. I shouldn't be worrying about the stupid senseless things.

When I got home, my car started it's stupid malfunction that always happened. It would have been fixed if my wretchedness hadn't caused that accident.

I went up to my room and changed into more comfortable clothes. I wasn't hungry; in which case, I never am anymore. I layed myself into my bed and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. . . or not.

Jamie and Zack were fast asleep in the back seat. My partens were singing christmas carols in their off-key voices, slurring their words to almost every lyric. I was just tipsy, though I had been off balance for awhile.

"Remy, you can drive us home," my mother threw me the keys. I caught them slightly after stumbling a few steps.

"'Kay, Remy; you drive and we be in back!" my father said through his hiccuping laughter.

We'd been in the car for only 15 minutes when my parents started their cracking choir again. It was funny, but it was hard to concentrate correctly.

Then it happened. And it happened so fast. I heard screaming from the back seat just at the car swayed; caught on from the black ice underneath us. The screams made everything so much worse.

A sudden jolt had the car flipping over three times before it stopped.
I knew I was unconscious; until I woke up, still upside down, blood dripping from a gash on my head. I turned around as best I could to see my family, smashed in, not breathing, and I knew then that they were dead.

I panicked and screamed all the air out of my lungs, terrified that this happened. I knew, for some reason, that this was not a dream. And before I could conclude anything, the blackness swallowed me whole.