I Thought You Could Never Love a Monster. I Was Wrong.

Yeah so, I listened to this song while writing this chapter. Weird, right? Yeah, whatever, listen to it, 'cause the band, Nightwish, is fucking amazing. xD

Amaranth - Nightwish.

I curled up on the couch, staring at the motionless television. Rose and Alice ahve been trying to cheer me up, but I would not budge. No one but me knew what what wrong. What was wrong was that Zane was coming for me, and I didn't know when. Alice wouldn't know, because Zane could use his power to backfire on Alice, and I didn't want to do that to her.

Just the thought of the note from Zane...it made me feel different, horrible mostly. I felt wanted, but I felt like I was just wanted for my blood, or maybe just because Aro had said that he saw me like them, with a useful gift.

But I didn't think I wanted to change just yet. Later, of course. I'd be able to be with Edward for all enternity. Even long than that, if there is such a thing. But just the damn thought that I'd be turned, being made to go through pain, -from what Esme had told me about, that it was so painful, you wanted to die right then and there - and then just be used for a gift that I wasn't even sure I'd be able to control.

They had told me how powerful I'd be, and I couldn't help but be flattered. But from what I heard, it took ages just to control having telekinesis. Learning to control your thoughts from making things explode every second throughout your day.

And I couldn't do much but admit that Zane was awfully gorgeous. His long-ish hair shown off in the dark room, and his smile could make a whole room turn heads. But what am I even thinking? I can't do that, I can't even think of something that horrible. I'm already enough of a whore, why keep it going?

The note still haunted me, and I hated it.

Today though, it felt as if I only had a few days left before he'd come for me. Zane would be here before I knew it, and he'd have tricks up his sleeve, so I couldn't be rescued by my Edward. I felt pain rush through me at just the thought.

So today, I was going to get my way with Edward. Just in case I were to lose him, I'd want him to take my all, everything that I had.

I walked up to Edward's room, and pushed the door open. Edward was sitting on the bed, leaning against the pillows. Perfect chance. I turned to shut the door and lock it.

"Edward... I love you." I said as I crawled onto his bed and onto him.

He looked confused, "Well, of course. I know you do, and I love you too." He said, smiling up at me. I straddled his lap, biting my life.

"Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it." I took a breath.

"Remy, what's wrong, love?" He asked, worried.

"I-I have this feeling that we won't be together much longer, and I just need to give you everything of mine, and I don't care what you have to say. Spare my feelings, I don't care. I just...want you." I said all in one breath.

Edward shook his head. "Remy, you know I could hurt you... I said we would try, but not now." He caressed my face. I felt a tear stream down my face.

I shook my head vigoriously, "No-No, Edward. You don't understand. We have to, I need you, and I want you, and I fell like I will lose you. Just please, I need this, then I know that if I do happen to lose you, I know that you'd have had me fully... Please Edward." I begged, tears starting to stream.

I knew he couldn't take it, his face showing full adoration and pain all together. He shook his his, bringing myself closer to him.

"Just don't talk, Remy. Your crying tears me to pieces." He whispered as he locked lips with me.

His lips molded with mine perfectly, out kisses full of passion and lust. I straddled his lap as he sat up against the headboard. I pushed him against the wood, wanting more of him. He let his hands wonder down my body, pulling me by my lower back, closer to him.

"Edward, I love you." I mumbled against a kiss.

"As I love you." He kissed me harder. Within, not even much of a second, I had been flipped onto my back, and Edward was now on top.

Edward sat lightly on top of me kissing me lustfully. His kisses got rougher, and he started to trail his lips down my neck and to my collar bone. His hands rubbed up and down my sides, making me moan slightly.

He discarded my shirt, throwing it to the ground, and then soon enough, my pants. I was left in my bra and underwear. I kissed Edward eagerly, wanting him all the more. I unbuttoned his shirt with my shakey, fragile hands. Once that was off, his pants were next.

"You're beautiful, Remy." Edward mumbled as he trailed more kissed down my chest and making circles on my stomach. He hands reached around me, unclasping my bra effortlessly, and slipping off my bottoms. "Very..." He trailed, his eyes wondering down my now, naked body.

His hands started to wonder all throughout my body, making me feel pleasure. A tingly feeling formed in my stomach. I felt the need to be released. The feeling was growing and I needed it to be released because I knew it would bring me so much more pleasure.

Edward was now teasing me, slowing pulling his boxers off, smirking at me. I grumbled, I couldn't take it. "Please, Edward...I can't take it." I whined, waiting for him.

Once he was fully ready, he was back on me, smiling down at me. His smile faltered as he saw my expression, how much I needed him.

"Please, if I hurt you, you must tell me." He whispered in my ear, making me moan.

I nodded, biting my lip. He placed himself between my legs, and I couldn't do much but think that this was it. I was going to love my virginity to the love of my life. But that thought only made me smile.

"I love you." He said before he thrusted himself into me. I groaned in pain, as he entered. He stopped and looked at me worried.

I shook my head, "No, just....go." I mumbled, closing my eyes. As he went, his body closed down on mine. I loved the feel of his cold body on mine.

Another shot of pain, and I dug my nails into Edward's back, I apologized even though that wouldn't hurt him in the slightest. He thrust again, kissing me feverishly. I smiled at him as he went further.

He was gentle. He was using his time. He was enjoying me and I was enjoying him. Sex was wonderful, at least with Edward it was. He was holding back, I could tell he wanted to go fast. But he loved me too much to hurt me, which I had to adore him for.

I closed my eyes and absorbed the pleasure he was giving me. It felt so amazing, nothing else was on my mind but him.

Then something exploded inside of me. It began from my chest, inner mostly; my heart. It was like a cooling feeling going through my heated body. Like the feeling of walking outside into the coldness after being in a warm toasted house for so long. It felt so amazing and just plain earth shattering. His bed was ground zero and everything else was dead.

We finally reached the peak, and we both collasped onto his rather comfortable bed. I was breathing hard, but smiling. Edward was also, but his breathing was so unessesary.

I curled up into Edward's cold, naked body and listened to his dead heartbeat. I felt amazing, and I knew that in the morning, I would definitley be sore, but that didn't matter at the moment. What mattered, was right now.

"That was....." I mumbled, not being able to finish.

"Beautiful, and amazing." Edward finished for me seconds later. I felt his cold lips kiss the crown of my head.

"Go to sleep, love. I know you are exhausted." He whispered as I closed my eyes.

While drifting off, the feelings came back, but only slightly. I was worried that I'd lose what Edward and I had. Soon I'd have to realize that I wouldn't probably no longer be with my family again.

I had one hopeful thought just then, appear in my head. If Zane, and or the Volturi wanted to change me, I would let it. I would go through that pain just so to escape them later on, and run off back to my Edward. It couldn't take that long, could it? I could only wish.

I fell asleep with one small tear drop from my eyes.