Protect Me From What I Want

I woke up feeling surprisingly warm and came to the conclusion that there seemed to be something different about the room. Not only was the room a lot brighter than usual –because of the snow reflecting into the room- but also The Joker was still sound asleep next to me. This was highly out of the ordinary. The Joker was always out of the bed before me or at least awake beside me, but this morning he was flat on his back snoring quietly. The Joker hardly ever stayed in bed longer than three hours, so the fact that he’d managed to stay asleep from night till morning was slightly bewildering to me. I decided it was best not to wake him as I was yet to encounter a cranky, woke up Joker and I was guessing that he wasn’t a morning person.

Slowly and carefully I pushed myself away from him and stood onto the cold flooring. I tiptoed my way across to the other side of the bed so that I could peak out of the window. It had stopped snowing, but the blanket of snow that still remained looked five inches thick. The sky resembled the exact colour of the snow and made the dead, leafless trees look as if they had just been drawn onto a piece of paper. I turned to see if I had woken The Joker yet, but he lay in the exact same position that he was previously. I would have thought he was dead, if it wasn’t for his steady breathing and his stomach rising up and down in rhythm.

I was at a loss of what to do since I’d never been in this situation before. The only thing I could do was wait till he woke. I sat cross legged on the bed and simply stared at him sleeping.

It felt like hours went by just waiting for him to awake and I was beginning to get impatient and worried. He’d never slept for this long and I was beginning to think he may have slipped into a coma while I was asleep. I knew it was like teasing an already irritated crocodile, but I took the chance and jabbed him in the ribs with my finger. He flinched a little and giggled quietly, but he didn’t wake. I jabbed him again a little harder this time. The second time around his eyes widened and he shot up faster than a bullet, then he spun around and toppled out of bed almost landing on the floor. Frantically his eyes began darting around the room trying to adjust to his surroundings. Everyone knows the feeling of being disorientated in the morning when someone wakes you up unexpectedly and you wake up not having a clue on where you are. He looked a little lost as he began shuffling his feet slightly.

“What time is it?” He asked finally still sounding a little unsettled. He rubbed his eyes from weariness with his palms, smudging the black eye make-up around his eyes and onto his hands. I was relieved that he was finally awake.

“I don’t know, I don’t have a watch,” I replied. “Are you okay?”

“Yes; why wouldn’t I be?” He asked as began pulling his clothes on.
“It’s unusual for you to sleep as long as you did that’s all. I was waiting for you to wake. I’m sorry I woke you up, but I was beginning to think you were dead.” He nodded letting me know that he acknowledged what I had said. I retreated back to the window and continued looking out of the window. “Can I go play in the snow?” I asked seriously, sounding like a little kid.

“Why not?”

“Come out with me,” I suggested with a smile. I began pulling out clean clothes out of the chest of draws that I hadn’t worn for so long. I picked out an oversized black and red hoodie along with my odd coloured converse and just plain denim jeans. The Harley Quinn outfit had been recklessly thrown in the draw too, alone and abandoned in the corner. Once again a fury of memories flooded back to mind. Wearing it for the first time and how people feared me whenever I wore it, like the monster I was. I promised myself profusely never to become as bad of a person I once was again. I feared that I’d be forced to wear the outfit again soon.

“Why? It’s just snow; there’s nothing exciting about it. Simple, white, clumps of ice falling to the ground and making everyone freeze and this somehow, inexplicably makes people happy. But I’ll go out just to please you,” he sighed with a smile. With that said, I virtually began to skip out of the house and into the soft, white snow. While I became giddy with excitement, The Joker remained indifferent acting much like a grumpy, old man.

I decided to ignore him and leave him out of all the fun I was having. After making tons of snow angels while The Joker walked around aimlessly, I started making a snowman. And this wasn’t just any snowman. This was going to be the most perfect snowman anyone had ever seen; I was almost sure of that. Feeling proud at how well the snowman was turning out, I smiled and praised myself mentally.

The bottom of the snowman was perfect if I may say so myself and I was just about to continue it, until it was completely destroyed and shattered as The Joker spitefully and deliberately trampled over it. “Hey!” I howled broken heartedly. I was literally on the verge of tears as I saw the poor snowman turn into tiny clumps of snow. It was like the ending of the film ’The Snowman’ when the young child comes out of his house to find that his friend snowman had melted. I was motionless for awhile, until anger took over me. The Joker continued to walk further away from me acting nonchalant and I knew he had his stupid, smug grin plastered across his face. With chagrin I balled up a large pile of snow in my hand and launched it towards his head. Surprisingly, the snowball hit him directly in the centre of his head and it shattered into a thousand tiny, ice particles, dusting his hair and shoulders.

My once self-satisfied smile was wiped away from my face when his head shot around almost instantaneously after the snowball had hit his head. His face was full of venom with a hint of mischievousness and good humour which left me slightly confused. I didn’t know whether to continue throwing snowballs or to run for my life. I chose the latter option since he was already beginning to pick up a larger pile of snow in his leathered hands. I had hardly even run at all when I felt the vicious sting of the snowball colliding with the back of my thigh. I let out a silent scream as I turned around to face him so that I could express my pain. He simply doubled over in fits of giggles which made me involuntarily gather another snowball and fire it ten times harder than I did previously. This time it blasted into his face with a sickening explosion-like sound and I didn’t even have to see his face to know that I was in for it. Remainders of snow still covered his already white face so he angrily brushed the snow from his eyes and mouth. Once his eyes were open, they somehow looked more hooded than normal and I heard a faint growl emit his lips as he began sprinting towards me. This time when I began running I unexpectedly screamed as loud as I could.

I stopped for a millisecond and I was already being pounded relentlessly, snowball after snowball. “Ow! Stop! That one had ice in it. It’s not funny anymore,” I said as I clutched the side of my face where the ice had collided. Even though the snowball was painful, I over exaggerated hoping that he’d stop throwing the snowballs and to lull him towards me. I smiled when the snowballs stopped and I heard his footsteps crunching in the snow.

“Where did I hit-” he began before having a lump of snow shoved into his mouth and face. I giggled uncontrollably and attempted to run away from him, but before I could get too far he grabbed me by the hood and pulled me towards him. I couldn’t help screaming when I was wrestled to the ground. My face was shoved into the snow so that I couldn’t breathe making my arms and legs flail as I let out a mixture of shrieks and giggles. “You’re right, Harley! Snow is fun!” The Joker laughed sadistically as he stopped shoving my face in the snow and began thrusting lumps of snow up my hoodie and onto my bare back. I screamed even louder this time because of the ice coldness coming in contact to the once relatively warm skin. As aggressively as I could I shoved him over onto his back, where I straddled his waist. The position didn’t last long before he rolled me over so that I was on my back and he was hovering above me. Instead of playing another cruel, snow based trick on me, his warms lips crashed down onto my cold ones.

My fingers tangled into his slightly damp hair, pulling him down closer to me. He collapsed on top of me as his hand slithered up and down my side. I cherished the moment for all its worth as moments like these occurred seldom and for I knew that the happy, fairytale-like scene wouldn’t last and both I and The Joker would live in misery, abhorrence and malice. Like Christmas Day during World War One where the British and the Germans for one day only would exchange gifts and fraternise as if they weren’t on opposing sides; the next day they’d go back to fighting ruthlessly for their country. Even if it wasn’t Christmas Day, the current scene resembled that one most. But all of the negativity only enhanced the positive moments in my life and made me appreciate them more. I believed that all the bad things toughened a person up so they became more aware of the harshness in the world. It prepared them for whatever was thrown their way in life. I saw more clearly through The Joker’s perspective now. Or maybe all of the negativity had turned me into the cruel and bitter person I was, who now has a whole new outlook on life compared to the one I once had before meeting The Joker.

The Joker pulled away from the kiss and covered his nose as he let out a loud sneeze. It made me jump slightly and had completely broken my train of thought. “Attractive,” I said sarcastically as he snivelled.

“Maybe we should go inside now,” he suggested as he stood up, holding a hand out for me to take. I took his hand willingly and I walked beside him into the house.