Protect Me From What I Want

The next day and night was planned on being spent doing absolutely nothing again. There wasn’t much you can do when the snow’s almost knee deep. It’s pretty hard to drive normally on the road let along attempting a getaway escape. I knew that The Joker was constantly thinking of away to get around the snow, even if he didn’t speak his thoughts. The snow was agitating him tremendously, as it stopped him from doing whatever it was he wanted to do; however, I was thankful for it because of that reason. I enjoyed staying in the house with him, without him constantly having ideas and the need to do any of the ideas. But I knew his holiday off of destruction wouldn’t last and he’d either figure out a way to get around the snow or the snow would melt.

I was currently sitting on the sofa, my arms wrapped tightly around The Joker. Why was I wrapped so tightly around him; for warmth and because the previous day, after coming in from out of the snow, he went in the bath. I was simply trying to make the most of his nice scent, instead of the sick smell of gasoline and another strange musky smell which I couldn’t identify. Right now he smelt like my coconut shampoo and his masculine body wash.

When hearing a weird, grinding noise coming from my right I quickly turned my head upwards in The Joker’s direction. His jaw was clenched tightly, gritting his teeth slightly as he focused fully on the window to the left of the room. He glared out of the window angrily, which caught my curiosity influencing me to look out of the window too. It was snowing again. The snow showed no sign of stopping or melting anytime soon, nor did the weather look as if it was going to alter in any way. I heard The Joker let out a sigh of irritation as he turned his focus back to the TV. I could sense he was bored. Blowing up buildings and torturing Gotham was what entertained him, not watching TV, but seeing as the snow was yet again falling he couldn’t undergo any of his games.

Just as The Joker stood up from the sofa to announce something, a knock was heard at the door. I think both me and The Joker knew who it was instantaneously after we heard the knock. The Joker irately stormed out of the living room with me following a little more calmly and then heaved open the door to greet whoever was at the door. On first sight of the visitors, The Joker attempted slamming the door back into their faces, but a foot wedged in between the door and the frame blocking it from closing.

“That’s no way to treat your guests,” Jonathan Crane teased as he eased the door open a little more with his foot. I peered over The Joker’s shoulder to see the visitors and noticed that Crane wasn’t alone, but was accompanied with Poison Ivy looking as elegant as ever.

“J, let them in,” I pleaded with a shy smile, pushing his chest a little so that he’d move away from the door. He took a step back not looking too pleased about it. He was yet to make a smarmy or cynical remark about the unexpected visitors, but he made no sign in doing so. He was using the silent treatment, hoping that his cold glare was enough to tell them that they weren’t wanted. “Hey, you two,” I greeted awkwardly as I opened the door wider for them to step in. I could almost cut the tension in the air with a knife, it was so thick. I had The Joker standing behind me hating everything that was happening at the moment. Crane was standing in front of me, who I hadn’t talked to since before I’d escaped from Arkham. And Ivy stood beside him, staring at The Joker with as much hate for him that he had for her.

“I was just dropping by to say, hi, but Jonny wanted to tag along. Said he wanted to check out The Joker’s humble abode,” Ivy explained also feeling the tension.

The Joker sighed irritably and started angrily towards the staircase. “Hey, where are you going?” I asked concerned. I was also worried about him, I hadn’t heard him say a single word for a long period of time now and that was a little bizarre to me. The Joker usually loved the sound of his own voice, but today he’d been really quiet. The most likely reason was because he was upset about the snow and not being able to do anything. That was the main reason that was bringing him down. If there was some other reason, I wasn’t quite sure of it.

“Go talk to your friends, Harley,” he growled lowly and quietly. I listened to his footsteps stomp across the landing until they stopped and the loud slam of the door followed.

“He has PMS more than I do. Jesus, Harley; how do you put up with him?” Ivy questioned dryly.

“He’s not usually like that, I swear. I don’t know what’s wrong with him today, but I’m seriously worried. He’s hardly spoken two words to me all day,” I admitted a little downheartedly. “I know the snow’s really bugging him, but I don’t think it’d affect him this much.” I told both Crane and Ivy to follow me into the dining room. That way we’d be out of The Joker’s henchmen’s way and there’s more space in there anyway. As I sat down at the dining table, I noticed Ivy staring sceptically at my face. “What are you staring at?” I asked as I rubbed my face.

“Has he been hitting you again?” She blurted out without hesitation. “There’s a mark underneath your eye, right there,” she explained, pointing to her own face to identify where the mark was.

“Oh,” I chuckled timidly, now understanding what she was talking about. I remembered seeing the minor infliction the day before, off when one snowball collided with my face creating a soft, purplish coloured bruise covered by a faint graze. “It’s nothing. I and The Joker had a snowball fight yesterday and one snowball had ice in it. It wasn’t intentional.”

Ivy mouthed a silent ‘oh’ in reply, yet continued to stare the small contusion incredulously. I knew she didn’t believe me, but I knew it was true. Ivy had become and overprotected mother to me. She’d jump at any chance she’d get to accuse The Joker of committing something dire towards me and made me sound like a battered housewife, making up unbelievable excuses for why her husband hits her. I decided not to accuse her of making assumptions because I didn’t want to start an argument.

“You and The Joker had a snowball fight? Can’t imagine him doing something like that,” Crane said snidely. “From what I’ve seen of him, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d want to have fun. Kind of miserable if you ask me.”

“Stop talking about him like that. You really underestimate him sometimes,” I whined.

“Let’s just stop talking about him, okay? Let’s talk about something different,” Ivy suggested sending Crane a lecturing look. “You should come around to my place sometime, Harls.”

“Your place? Don’t you mean our place? We both live there remember,” Crane reminded.

“Oh please, I found that place before you,” she argued back. “You just followed me there.”

“You need a guy like me around to protect you. You could get pretty lonely in that house.”

“Hey, don’t start assuming that I can’t look after myself. All the company I need is with my flowers.”

I smiled listening to the dispute continue. They sounded just like an old, married couple and I found it kind of amusing to watch their quarrels. I didn’t even have to know what they were arguing about to find it amusing. Since they were so involved with their own argument, I think they had forgotten all about me sitting across from them and their voices were beginning to distract me from my thoughts because the volume was slowly increasing. I wondered if The Joker could hear all of the commotion and if he was getting even more annoyed by it. I was waiting for him to come storming back down the stairs, yelling at all of us for being so noisy.

However, both Ivy and Crane were quarrelling so loudly that all of us failed to hear The Joker’s footsteps coming down the stairs. When he entered the dining room, all noise ceased and our heads snapped towards his direction. “Will you two shut up?” The Joker growled making his way on my side of the table to sit beside me. “And how much longer are you going to be here for, hmm?” I wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, but neither Crane nor Ivy replied. When The Joker had sat down, I clasped his leather hand gently and smiled at him, hoping to make him feel better. His face was emotionless when he stared at me, but gave a squeeze to my hand before turning back around to look at Ivy and Crane. “What are you two arguing about anyway?”

“He said he was going to destroy all of my plants!” Ivy replied agitatedly.

“And that’s a bad thing?” The Joker teased. Ivy didn’t bother retaliating any further but instead crossed her arms angrily and leaned back in her chair with a heavy sigh. Crane was laughing at her defeat. “I don’t know what you’re laughing at. Even if you did say you were going to destroy her plants, you wouldn’t do it. She has you wrapped around her little finger...like her bitch. Hmm?” This time I laughed. After all of the tormenting he had put me through in Arkham, he was finally getting payback. He did all this big talking whenever The Joker wasn’t around, but with that one statement it managed to hammer Crane into realisation; he could give, but he couldn’t take. He’d never be able to compare with The Joker. Crane sank in his seat, his egotistical manor deflating slowly.

I groaned when more arguing followed. It seemed as if I was the only person that could get along with people. All three of them seemed to despise each other and would not get along. I decided not to get involved with the argument. It wasn’t as if I could get a word in edge ways anyway. But I couldn’t take a moment longer of the constant quarrelling and I knew I had to stop it before push came to shove.

“Can we all just stop arguing!?” I exclaimed loudly, my fists clenched into tiny balls.

“Little Miss Pamela over there was getting all defensive over her bitch,” The Joker clarified.

“Don’t call me Pamela,” Ivy hissed viciously.

“Why not, Pamela? It is your name, right?”

“Start calling me Pamela and I start calling you Jack.” Instantly after she had said it, she gasped loudly and slapped a hand over her mouth, staring at me apologetically. I was glaring daggers at her, for her stupid slip up. The Joker’s head twisted in my direction as he glowered maliciously and full of chagrin. Previously, I had confessed to Ivy what The Joker’s real name was; A silly confession at that, now that I knew the consequences. I knew that I was in for it now as I had just blatantly told my friend one of The Joker’s deepest secrets. I didn’t want to turn my head to the side because I knew I’d meet The Joker’s venomous eyes as if he wanted to kill me, but for some unknown reason I felt a strange force moving my eyes to look into his. I stared into them and didn’t like what I saw.

The atmosphere in the room was awkward, for lack of better word. I definitely didn’t want to be the person to break the silence and I knew The Joker had no intentions to either. He wouldn’t talk until after they had left, since he’d only have venom and vindictiveness in his words.

“Ivy, I think it’s time we better leave,” Crane suggested as he stood up from his chair. I knew Ivy wanted to protest, because she knew what would happen as soon as they had left. But she decided against it since she didn’t want to know what The Joker would do if they stayed any longer. She stood up to leave and mouthed a ‘sorry’ as she left the dining room. My attention turned back to The Joker, too concerned for my own wellbeing to show any compassion towards her. I was still extremely irritated with her anyway.

The Joker stood up just as they were about the leave through the front door and for some reason I was lulled into following him. He closed the door to the manor eerily slow, but once it was closed, a sickly wave of fear consumed my entire body. Before I had a chance to think of anything else a cold, hard slap across my face knocked me to the ground as The Joker spun round, backhanding me. And so it began. The cruel beatings were back; ones which I hadn’t suffered for long period of time now. “Go to bed,” he snarled as he glared down at me on the floor. I didn’t have to be told twice; I instantly stood up and scampered timidly up the stairs. I had a feeling that that wasn’t the end of it.