Protect Me From What I Want

The Joker‘s POV

“HAHAHA,” I laughed loudly as I read Gotham’s Daily newspaper. The sudden laughter caused a few of my men to jump in fright and then look up at me with a surprised expression like a dear caught in headlights. My laughter continued louder as the men stared at me as if I was crazy. Timidly and slowly they began joining in with the laughter not knowing if it was a good idea or not. It wasn’t. They didn’t even know what I was laughing at, so they had no right to join in.

I let out a loud growl and scrunched up the newspaper in anger as I arose from my chair knocking it over in the process as well as the poker table. Cards and poker chips flew in the air and quickly fell to the floor like rain. Everyone in the room immediately became deadly silent, yet they all looked unfazed by my outburst. Most probably because these sudden personality changes were all too frequent. I threw the paper to the ground and stormed out of the room without saying a word.

As you know, I recently…uh, let my little harlequin go. Considering that she was the one who wanted it and I-being the reasonable and generous person I am-granted her, her wish. And her-being the ungrateful, spoiled brat that she is-all of a sudden changed her mind and wanted to stay with me. Unfortunately for her, it was too late. I left the helpless girl on the rooftop, looking like a lost puppy. No, I’m not cold hearted. I gave her plenty of money to look after herself with.

A week later, it was said that she had been locked away in Arkham with all of the other crazies. No doubt it was that damn bat’s doing. No wonder I didn’t see him on the night that Gotham fell to its knees almost literally; he was busy sending Harley away to the nuthouse.

I was wondering how she was getting along without me in Arkham. I was even considering paying her a little personal visit…until today that is. Today I stumbled upon something interesting in the newspaper. Apparently-from what I’ve read-Arkham’s planning on releasing Harley earlier than I expected. And I quote “She seems to be making so much progress. There really isn’t any need for her to be locked away longer than what is necessary.” Well pardon me, Mr Arkham, but I think you’re forgetting who she was actually working for and who turned her into what she is today. And let’s not forget that she technically helped destroy half of Gotham, no matter how much people want to point fingers at me.

That little brat, getting away with murder! Poor, perfect, sweet, little, innocent, Harley. She couldn’t have possibly done anything to harm anyone. No, no. It’s all The Joker’s doing. It’s all my fault isn’t it!? Because Harley doesn’t have a mind of her own!

No, Harley gets let out early because she’s simply perfect and has no faults. While, if it was me…now that’s a whole different story. If I was locked up in Arkham, I’d be in there for a lifetime, no matter how much progress I made. Not that I couldn’t escape easily enough; but that isn’t the point. The point is that though me and Harley did exactly the same things, we both end up with different, unfair treatment.

It shouldn’t be Harley that I’m angry with. It isn’t her fault. It’s Arkham’s.

As much as I hated to admit it; I needed Harley back. Maybe I was being too soft to let her go like I did and it was all too soon. And she just looked too innocent in the public eye. People weren’t afraid of her.

No, I’ll have to make her show her commitment to me. She’ll have to show me and the rest of Gotham how twisted she can be. And I have to say that I miss the little minx. Especially now that Batman seems to be directing all of his attention towards her, so I have neither Harley nor Batman to mess with.

So, no time like the present. Instead of being angry at a flimsy newspaper, I made my way back down the stairs and then back into the room with all of the goons.

I clapped my gloved hands loudly and rubbed the leather together. Every head turned to stare at me. Considering that I needed their full-fledged attention, I switched the TV off and cleared my throat.

“So, who wants to do a little task for me?” I sang scanning over every man in the room. Their eyes averted to each other, waiting for one another to be the first to accept the task. “Anybody?-No? Nice to know how worthless you all are. This could be your one chance to…prove to me how…skilled you are. And you never know, this one time to shine may not go unrewarded. So any takers?”

“What is the task, boss?”

“Oh good, I have a taker.”

“But I-”

“Ah tah tah tah tah tah. Look, listen. It’s simple. I want you to go to Arkham. And-”

“Is this about that girl, boss?”

I turned around slowly to face the unfortunate soul that had interrupted me. The room went deadly silent and that was enough to say that he instantly regretted asking the question.

“Can you, uh, speak up louder, please? Didn’t quite catch that. You see, I was busy talking and I was in the middle of explaining the task that was given that you neglected to take. So, it really isn’t your place to be asking questions now is it, uh…John?!”

“It’s Paul, boss.”

“Don’t correct me! You’re name is John! So, considering that you’re not of any use in this task, I suggest you keep your mouth shut, hmm?” John said no more and slumped back down into his chair. I brought my focus back to the taker and cleared my throat again. “Walk with me, uh-”

“Tommy, boss,” he finished as we began walking towards the front door and then down the pathway to the entrance gate.

“Right. So, as I was saying, I want you to go into Arkham. I want you to note down every exit and every escape root while you’re there. And also I want you to find what floor and what cell Harley is in. I don’t want you to do anything there; I just want you to find out this information for me. I don’t care how you do it, just do it. Be creative. Break an entry. Cause a distraction. Steal some scrubs if you have to. I don’t know. But get the job done now and don’t come back until you’ve completed the job. Don‘t be too drastic about it either. I don‘t want anybody getting suspicious about this, capice?” After the objective had been explained I threw him the van keys and began to turn around to head back to the house.

“You want me to do it now? It’s late,” Tommy exclaimed.

“Yeah, make it fast,” I replied simply as I continued to walk away. I automatically assumed that he had obeyed my orders, judging by the silence.

By the time I had entered the building, the TV was back on. I rolled my eyes at the mindless apes loafing around on the sofa’s, doing absolutely nothing productive. Not wanting to be in the same room as them, I trudged upstairs, taking off my gloves, trench coat and jacket in the process.

I on the other hand had more productive things to do. Like figure out a way to get my Harley back. How many explosives should I bring. Who should I kill. Rolling up my sleeves, I sat down at the vanity table to begin scribbling little notes down onto a piece of paper. It’s now or never.