Manage Me, I'm a Mess

“Isn’t it a bit too early to start buying all this baby stuff? You don’t look very far gone!”

The sales assistant asked as she rung up the cot, bedding, teddies, mobile etc.

“I’m not pregnant!”

I snapped. It was starting to get annoying now. Alex pulled me into his side and mumbled for me to go to the car.

I listened to him and scurried off. I would have lost my temper with that stupid sales lady and it wouldn’t have been pretty.

I reached the car and sat in the passenger seat. I didn’t turn the heater or the music on instead I sat there and thought about everything. The adoption papers had been signed and sent off we just have to wait for a reply. It’s 3 weeks until baby Gaskarth is due and we are just buying all the stuff for the nursery. Today we are going to decorate and get everything ready. Me and Alex are back to normal, we get questioned whether we are a couple and I answer the same familiar answer “NO”. The only difference is since the kiss when I answer no I feel a pain shoot through my heart, and sadness feels Alex’s eyes. It’s odd

Not only am I confused about mine and Alex’s feelings for each other. There is Sally-Ann to deal with apparently the last couple of weeks she has been bitching about me and saying that she wanted Alex back. She knows all about my feelings for him and yet she goes and does that. I never should have trusted her, once a bitch always a bitch. I can’t argue or fight with her because she could easily take mini Gaskarth from my life before he or she is even born.

I have so many worries that Alex is going to get back with her, breaking my heart and taking away the baby. I have worries that me and Alex won’t cope with the baby. That I’ll be left with the baby while Alex goes off to live up his youth and party hard. Too many worries for a young, free girl.

Hopefully none of my worries come true.

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“I swear that touches me and I will make sure you can never reproduce”

I shrieked as Jack and Alex pined me to the nursery wall armed with paint brushes. The paint brushes coated thickly in a cream paint.

They finally realized me and I sighed in relief. I carried on with painting a huge All Time Low and music montage on one of the walls. Using bright unisex colours to add life to the nursery. None of the new stuff was in the room yet as it wasn’t painted yet.

“Right home dawgs. I have got to go meet my beautiful girlfriend. See ya”

Jack said as he skipped happily out of the unfinished nursery. So much for help.

Me and Alex were left alone to finish painting the room. We played blink 182, new found glory and kerrang radio as we painted and painted until finally the nursery was done. All over it was a nice homely cream colour, one wall was my music and All Time Low montage and there was a soft reed border running along the top of each wall. It looked so sweet and homely all it needed was mini gaskarths stuff and MINI GASKARTH.

During our marathon paint session me and Alex had multiple paint fights. His messy mousy brown hair had flickers of black and red paint in it where I flicked my brush at him to try to stop him from placing a very painty hand on my face. In another one of our paint fights Alex had managed to corner me, my back to his body. I felt a large stinging slap to my butt and when I looked in the mirror it revealed a large cream hand print on my trousers. After our tiring paint fights, still painting we discussed where things would go in the room, how excited we were and names.

“So what boy’s names have you thought of?”

I asked Alex. I had a few ideas for boys but none for girls.

“None, at the minute but I have a few for girls.”

I immediately came up with a genius plan.

“Well I have a few boy names so if it’s a girl you name it and if it’s a boy I name it? Deal?”

I stretched out a painty hand and Alex did the same. We shook on it then shared a sweet innocent hug.

“So what are you’re girl names?”

I was curious. I didn’t think Alex would have thought about this sort of stuff.

We was carrying in the very heavy built cot when Alex revealed his girls names. He had a few but none of them jumped out at me.

The cot was the last thing to go in the nursery then it would be complete. Yay!

“This is the name I want to use, but only if you agree”

Alex’s eyes connected with mine . I could see the seriousness of this name and it worried me.

“Lauren.”

Tears immediately sprung to my eyes.

“After your sister. I know you loved her so much and she didn’t get a chance to live her life because of that idiot. It would be like a memory. I know mini Gaskarth would be nothing like your sister but it was just a thought. Katie, Katie?”

Sobs shook through my body. I dropped the cot and it landed on my foot causing the sobs to get harder and for me to let out a piercing scream. My body collapsed to the floor. Alex was the sweetest boy ever. I was so lucky to have him even as just a friend.

Alex let go of his end of the cot and ran over to me cradling my body. The sobs slowed down and my breathing returned to a steady pace.

“How’s your foot?”

Alex chuckled out trying to make me break a smile instead I wiped away a few tears and looked at him with all seriousness.

Kiss me!”