Come On, Sweet Catastrophe

I opened my mouth to let out a whimper. I could feel the tears brimming, the salt water was burning my eyes. Before I could make a sound, though, Derek pressed his lips to mine, much softer than before. His hands tenderly cupped my cheeks, holding me there. The kiss was all lips--No tongues or clashing teeth. It was sweet and so different from any kiss we had ever shared. I could feel myself relaxing against him once more, letting his warmth envelope me. My heart was thrumming in my chest--I could feel it pulsing in my ears. He was kissing me in a way that made me feel like this wasn't a one time thing. It was almost like a wordless apology--As if he hadn't intended for it to happen this way either. It seemed we had both lost control. Maybe we both just needed this. 

He pulled away slowly, and I almost wanted to shrink under his intense stare. His blue eyes were wide and slightly playful, but serious all at the same time. I couldn't get over how expressive they were--How easily his eyes conveyed everything he was feeling, and how incredibly beautiful they are. 

His gaze lowered to my chest, naturally, and I looked down too. "I'll buy you a new one." He murmured, touching the ripped material of my shirt. I watched as his lips spread into a small smile. 

"You better." I mumbled, unable to hold back a smile of my own. 

He buried his face into the crook of my neck, his hands pushing past the material of my shirt to touch the bare skin of my back. "What happens if I don't?" 

I could feel his grin against my skin and I let out a long, slow breath. "Y-you don't want to know." 

"Mmm, are you threatening me?" His voice was so low in my ear, and his breath was so hot against my neck. His hand trailed down my abdomen, disappearing between my legs. I breathed in sharply, my hands grasping at his biceps tightly. My reaction made him chuckle from deep in his chest, continuing his ministrations for only a moment more before he pulled away entirely. 

I suddenly felt very cold and very exposed. I looked at him longingly, already missing his touch. He gave me a warm smile--Not a smirk or an impish grin. This smile held no shred of playfulness. It was as soft and warm as he was. 

"Shower with me?" With very little reluctance, I agreed, allowing him to help me off the counter. He laughed, watching me push my skirt down from it's place pushed up around my waist. He took my hand in his, lacing our fingers and leading me upstairs. I had been in this bathroom with Derek before, but never under these circumstances. Never before was I able to step back and admire him as he undressed, and he had most certainly never undressed me too. 

I wasn't as shy as I felt I should be, standing before Derek, completely nude. Even in his harsh, bathroom lighting, I felt comfortable. It was something to do with the way his eyes scanned me--With no hint of distaste. He was almost looking at me adoringly, which was something I hadn't seen from him since Sadie and Paige were alive. 

The water was warm against my skin, but not quite as warm as Derek. He wrapped his arms around my from behind, his fingers lightly tracing my navel. We stayed like that for a very long time, embracing under the hot stream of water. We didn't speak, but it wasn't weird or awkward. It was nice, being in someone's presence and not having to say anything. 

I used Derek's shampoo and body wash, though they smelled much more masculine than what I usually used. Derek and I had moved away from one another now, lathering the soap into our skin. I glanced over at him and he smiled, not bothering to be subtle about the way his gaze moved down my body. 

"Stop ogling me." I giggled, hugging my arms over my chest. 

He grinned, taking a step closer. He reached out, pulling my arms away from my body. "I'm not ogling," he insisted. "I'm appreciating." 

I rolled my eyes, looking away from him. "There's nothing to appreciate." 

"Don't be like that." He reached up, grabbing my chin and turning my head to look at him. He was smiling, but his eyes were very serious. "You're beautiful, Ruth."

I could feel my face heating up, my lips slowly spreading in a small smile. I lifted my arms to wrap around his shoulders, holding him there. I could barely wrap my head around this. It had all happened so fast--One Minute we were strictly friends, the next we weren't really speaking, and now, we were standing with our naked bodies pressed together. 

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine. "It's been a really long time since I have been with anybody." He admitted quietly, reaching up to push my wet hair behind my ear. "Especially someone who wasn't Sadie." 

He visibly cringed, thinking that maybe, right now wasn't the best time to bring her up. I didn't mind, though. I understood that this was a big deal to him, and that Sadie was bound to cross his mind. 

I smiled lightly, placing my hand against his cheek. "I know." I murmured and he leaned his face against my palm. 

"How about we get dried up and into bed now?" He suggested, taking my hand away from his face, tangling his fingers with mine. I nodded and we shuffled out of the shower. I inhaled sharply as my wet skin met the cold air. Derek took the fluffy white towel that was hanging behind the door, draping it over my shoulders. I smiled as thanks, watching as he grabbed his own towel from under the sink, using it to dry his hair. I sat down on the edge of the tub, watching him carefully. I tried to keep my eyes above his waist, but sometimes, I couldn't resist looking down. He turned his head to look at me, smirking as he caught me staring. I looked down at my hands that were sitting in my lap, blushing furiously.

"Don't be embarrassed. It's okay." He laughed. "Unlike you, I don't mind be ogled."

He extended a hand toward me and I gladly took it, letting him pull me to my feet. He leaned down and kissed me quickly, then scooped me up into his arms, carrying me bridal style into the room. I yelped, clutching onto his shoulders. "Don't you dare drop me, Derek." I warned, and he grinned, rocking me back and forth. "Stop it! Put me down!" 

He smiled wickedly before he threw me down, my body bouncing as I hit the mattress. He climbed onto the bed, crawling up the mattress until he was hovering over me. I leaned up on my elbows, pressing my lips firmly to his and pulling him flush against me. He was staring down at me beneath his lashes, the blue peaking out through half-lidded eyes. He started rocking his hips very slowly, teasingly, and I broke eye intact as mine clamped shut. 

His lips trailed kisses to my ear and he started whispering sweet things to me, like how beautiful he thought I was and how good I was making him feel. This time was different. A lot more intimate. It was slower. Longer. Wonderfully passionate and hot, without being dirty. After, we lay side by side, sharing simple kisses and soft touches. 

"I forgot how great sex was." Derek mused, watching me through tired eyes. 

"It is pretty great, isn't it?" I laughed and he nodded, playing with a strand of my hair. "I'm pretty good at it too, so I'm sure that helps..."

He threw his head back, letting out a loud laugh. "Well, I have no doubts about that." He let out a long breath, moving his hand down the curve of my waist. "God, Ruth. I had no idea you had that in you. I still can't believe it." 

I blushed, looking up at the ceiling. "Why not?"

"I've known you since you were like, sixteen years old. You were always so timid and shy and innocent..." He chuckled, raising his brows and I covered my red face with my hands. He pulled me closer, until our chests were touching, moving my hands away. "It's so weird to think about how you're not the same person anymore. Like, you literally are the same person, but you're grown up now. I only started to see that recently. Mostly because you've been dressing like a hussy." 

I smacked him and he laughed again. I could feel it rumbling from deep in his chest. When he finally calmed down, things got quiet between us, and I found myself thinking again. "Hey Derek." He raised his brows, giving me a small nod. "Why now?"

He was quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful. "It just felt right, I guess. You're grown up now and since I haven't been seeing you as that sixteen year old girl, I've learned so many things about you that I like." He smiled, but looked away from me, down at our connected hands. "And it doesn't feel like cheating, like I thought it would. I guess that means I've moved on, right?" I squeezed his hand and nodded, smiling at him. "What about you? Why now?" 

"I guess I didn't feel like waiting anymore." He gave me a curious look, gesturing for me to elaborate. "Well, I'm sure you knew how I've always felt about you. I've always wanted you and when it seemed like there was a possibility that there could be something between us, I had to make sure." He was looking at me in disbelief and I chuckled, shaking my head. "Come on, Derek. You'd have to be dumb not to see. Don't you remember that night when I tried to kiss you?" He raised his brows as the realization came over him. "I thought you knew." 

"I never really thought about it." He said softly, furrowing his brows. "How long have you felt this way?" 

I smiled lightly, shrugging my shoulders. "As long as I've known you." 

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" He frowned.

"What could I say?" I smiled sadly, sighing. "You were too old for me and you were hurting. If I told you, it would have just made things worse. I was too shy, anyways." 

"I guess you're right." He mumbled, but sounded unconvinced. "I still think I would have liked to know that I was the product of a teenage girl's sexual fantasies..." 

I groaned, smacking his chest. "Derek! I did not have sexual fantasies about you. Oh my god."

"Hey! Stop hitting me! I'm going to be black and blue by the time you leave." He rubbed his sore skin tenderly, playfully glaring at me. "And having sexual fantasies about me is nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm actually flattered." 

"I hate you. Get out of my face." I muttered, rolling over to face away from him.

He laughed, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my body against him. I smiled as his face muzzled in the crook of my neck, pressing a chaste kiss against my shoulder. 

"Do you like me, Derek?" I asked softly.

"Of course I like you." He chuckled, giving my waist a squeeze. "I like you a lot." 

I nodded, letting my eyes fall shut. "Do you think you could ever love me?" I knew it was a lot to ask of him. He loved Sadie so much, I wouldn't blame him if he couldn't love again.

He was quiet for a long time. So long that I thought he would never answer. He kissed the side of my neck and my cheek, holding me even closer than he had been before. "I'll definitely try." He whispered and I smiled to myself. Him trying was good enough for me. "I'm tired. Let's sleep now." 

"Do you need your pills?" I frowned, trying to pull his arms away from me. 

"No." He muttered, tightening his hold. "Goodnight." 

"Are you sure?" I asked, furrowing my brows. "You should probably take them. You know what your doc-" 

"Oh my god, Ruth. Stop talking." He groaned. 

I laughed, relaxing against his chest. "Oh, sorry. Goodnight, Derek." 

He kissed the side of my head, chuckling lightly. "Goodnight, Ruth."