Come On, Sweet Catastrophe
-twenty-seven.
Ryan's lips started at the corner of my mouth, leaving a trail of kisses from there down to my chest. He paid special attention to the sensitive spots on my neck, the ones only he had been able to find. He hovered over me, blindly reaching for the book in my hands and ripping it from my grasp, carelessly tossing it into the floor.
His fingertips moved from my stomach down to the waist of my jeans, popping the button open with ease. Without even asking my permission first, he slipping his hand inside. I inhaled sharply through my nose, placing my hands on his shoulder. "Ryan," I sighed, shaking my head. "Not tonight. I'm not in the mood, okay?"
It's not that I didn't want his touch. I really did. I missed being intimate with him. There was just this guilt hovering over me, weighing down heavily on my shoulders, and it didn't allow me to go any further than kissing before it overpowered any other emotions I was feeling.
He groaned, rolling off of me and onto his back. "You haven't been in the mood for days." He wasn't whining. He wasn't really even complaining at all. The way he said it, it was as if it was merely an observation. He pursed his lips, turning his head to look at me. "Is everything alright?" He asked softly, sounding genuinely concerned despite how irritated he was by my rejection.
I stared at him for a long moment. There were so many things racing through my mind--So many things that I wanted to say to him. I felt so many different emotions and the only thing I wanted to do right now was cry. Ryan deserved everything, especially my honesty. He needed to know what I had done to him. He deserved to know that the woman he loved wasn't who he thought she was. I owed him that much, didn't I?
However, all I could muster was a weak smile and a nod. "Of course. Everything is fine."
But really, when are things ever fine with me?
------
Derek
He was happy. It was such an unusual feeling for him--It was almost completely unfamiliar now. It had been such a long time since he had been happy that he almost forgot what it felt like. It was so strange, the way he would find himself smiling or laughing for no real reason at all. As weird as it was, though, he liked it.
He couldn't stop thinking about Ruth. The way she tastes, the swell of her breast, the softness of her skin, her dimpled lower back, the curve of her hips, her restful breathing, her heart-shaped lips and her soft moans--She plagued his every thought. All he wanted was her. He needed to touch her and feel her touch like he needed sleep or air. He hadn't seen or heard from her in a few days, but he wasn't worried. He knew she was his.
He wondered if he should ask her to move in with him. Perhaps that was moving a little too fast, considering the fact that they had only just slept together. They hadn't even been on a date when he thought about it, but she had practically been living with him for several years, so why not? He just wanted to be with her. He wanted to wake up to her in the morning and have breakfast with her like they did the other day. He wanted hers to be the last face he saw every night before he fell asleep.
These feelings seemingly blossomed out of nowhere. Six months ago, they were just friends. He hadn't really gotten to know her on a really personal level, because he only saw her as a teenager, but she was there for him whenever he needed her to be--When other people had given up on him and for that reason, he was extremely grateful. Grateful was all he felt for her, though. He had always thought she was cute, sure, but not enough to be attracted to her. She was cute for another boy, not a man like Derek.
But something changed in their friendship. He found himself staring a little longer than he should. He would think about her a lot when she wasn't around. He was always trying to find ways to spend more time with her and he wasn't sure why that was happening. When she kissed him, though, it all made sense. It was so unexpected, so wrong, but yet, all he could do was kiss her back. Then when she returned a few days later, looking especially sullen and seemingly making up excuses to see him, he couldn't help himself. Her lips had been the only things on his mind. He was in a constant daze, just replaying that moment over and over in his head. When he saw her again, he promised himself that he wouldn't do anything stupid.
But then he did something stupid and he didn't expect it to feel so good. He didn't expect it to progress the way it did either, but he couldn't help himself. She was so soft and warm and responsive to his touches. Years of built up sexual frustration were released on her that night and he was worried that he had forced himself on her. That she didn't really want to be with him like that, especially because she was with that guy he hated so much, Ryan.
But she told him she loved him, which was something Derek hadn't heard in a very long time. He forgot the way hearing those words made his heart swell. He wasn't completely sure whether he loved Ruth, but he could try. She was the kind of girl you could fall in love with.
His fingertips moved from my stomach down to the waist of my jeans, popping the button open with ease. Without even asking my permission first, he slipping his hand inside. I inhaled sharply through my nose, placing my hands on his shoulder. "Ryan," I sighed, shaking my head. "Not tonight. I'm not in the mood, okay?"
It's not that I didn't want his touch. I really did. I missed being intimate with him. There was just this guilt hovering over me, weighing down heavily on my shoulders, and it didn't allow me to go any further than kissing before it overpowered any other emotions I was feeling.
He groaned, rolling off of me and onto his back. "You haven't been in the mood for days." He wasn't whining. He wasn't really even complaining at all. The way he said it, it was as if it was merely an observation. He pursed his lips, turning his head to look at me. "Is everything alright?" He asked softly, sounding genuinely concerned despite how irritated he was by my rejection.
I stared at him for a long moment. There were so many things racing through my mind--So many things that I wanted to say to him. I felt so many different emotions and the only thing I wanted to do right now was cry. Ryan deserved everything, especially my honesty. He needed to know what I had done to him. He deserved to know that the woman he loved wasn't who he thought she was. I owed him that much, didn't I?
However, all I could muster was a weak smile and a nod. "Of course. Everything is fine."
But really, when are things ever fine with me?
------
Derek
He was happy. It was such an unusual feeling for him--It was almost completely unfamiliar now. It had been such a long time since he had been happy that he almost forgot what it felt like. It was so strange, the way he would find himself smiling or laughing for no real reason at all. As weird as it was, though, he liked it.
He couldn't stop thinking about Ruth. The way she tastes, the swell of her breast, the softness of her skin, her dimpled lower back, the curve of her hips, her restful breathing, her heart-shaped lips and her soft moans--She plagued his every thought. All he wanted was her. He needed to touch her and feel her touch like he needed sleep or air. He hadn't seen or heard from her in a few days, but he wasn't worried. He knew she was his.
He wondered if he should ask her to move in with him. Perhaps that was moving a little too fast, considering the fact that they had only just slept together. They hadn't even been on a date when he thought about it, but she had practically been living with him for several years, so why not? He just wanted to be with her. He wanted to wake up to her in the morning and have breakfast with her like they did the other day. He wanted hers to be the last face he saw every night before he fell asleep.
These feelings seemingly blossomed out of nowhere. Six months ago, they were just friends. He hadn't really gotten to know her on a really personal level, because he only saw her as a teenager, but she was there for him whenever he needed her to be--When other people had given up on him and for that reason, he was extremely grateful. Grateful was all he felt for her, though. He had always thought she was cute, sure, but not enough to be attracted to her. She was cute for another boy, not a man like Derek.
But something changed in their friendship. He found himself staring a little longer than he should. He would think about her a lot when she wasn't around. He was always trying to find ways to spend more time with her and he wasn't sure why that was happening. When she kissed him, though, it all made sense. It was so unexpected, so wrong, but yet, all he could do was kiss her back. Then when she returned a few days later, looking especially sullen and seemingly making up excuses to see him, he couldn't help himself. Her lips had been the only things on his mind. He was in a constant daze, just replaying that moment over and over in his head. When he saw her again, he promised himself that he wouldn't do anything stupid.
But then he did something stupid and he didn't expect it to feel so good. He didn't expect it to progress the way it did either, but he couldn't help himself. She was so soft and warm and responsive to his touches. Years of built up sexual frustration were released on her that night and he was worried that he had forced himself on her. That she didn't really want to be with him like that, especially because she was with that guy he hated so much, Ryan.
But she told him she loved him, which was something Derek hadn't heard in a very long time. He forgot the way hearing those words made his heart swell. He wasn't completely sure whether he loved Ruth, but he could try. She was the kind of girl you could fall in love with.
♠ ♠ ♠
Since so many people asked, I decided to write a part in Derek's point of view. Kind of. Haha. It's not in the first person, because when I tried, it came out horribly cheesy. I thought that writing it this way was still good, though, because it shows his feelings. So yeah, I'd love to hear from you guys. :)