Come On, Sweet Catastrophe

"This can't go on forever, you know."

I nearly jumped two feet in the air, turning quickly to look at my mother. She looked disheveled, still in her pajamas and her hair in complete disarray, as any other individual would be at seven-thirty on a Saturday morning. I watched her as she trudged toward the coffee maker, pouring the bitter, black liquid into her ceramic mug. I furrowed my brow, glancing down into my own mug.

"What do you mean?" I asked, leaning against the counter. "What can't go on forever?"

"This." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose tiredly. "Since when did you wake up at this time to do anything?"

I raised a single brow. I didn't know what to say to her, for I had no idea what it was that she was getting at. Looking at her, she looked completely frustrated as she glared down at her coffee, resting her face in the palm of her left hand. I just stared at her. How was I supposed to answer that? She didn't wait for me to answer anyways.

"Since you met that man!" She exclaimed, looking up at me. "You're always at his house."

"Derek?" She merely nodded. "Mom, he's my boss. I work for him."

"No." She shook her head. "He doesn't even pay you half the time, Ruth."

I sighed, pushing my hair away from my face. "Mom, you know what happened to him. Ever since the accident, he's been... Not himself. He needs me."

"Ruth, have you ever thought for a second that maybe it's not your help he needs?" She asked. "The accident was almost two years ago, and he can't do a damn thing on his own. You do absolutely everything for him."

"Well, he has no one else right now." I explained quietly. "Everyone else left him."

"And I understand why they would." She said. "How could anyone possibly want to be around such a weak man?"

"He's not weak." I snapped.

"Are you kidding me?" She laughed bitterly. "He hasn't moved on from the entire incident at all. In fact, he's gotten worse. Look at him! He's completely pathetic."

I stared at her for a long time, and neither of us said a word. I turned away from her, packing my things into my bag, just wanting to get away from this conversation. Away from her.

I heard her sigh loudly behind me. "Sweetie, I know that... That feelings can often get in the way of your better judgment, but please. You have to see that this is destructive to both of you. You're not exactly helping him back on his feet by doing everything for him, and I..." I stopped what I was doing, waiting for her to speak again. "I just don't want to see you hurt when you realize that the man you gave your heart to can't love you back."

And then I left.

------

I heard the glass door slide open then shut before two clumsy feet padded against the patio. Two hands, skinny but still much larger and masculine than my own, grabbed the back of the couch swing, stopping at as it moved back and forth. I tilted my head back, staring up at Derek curiously.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" He asked me. He wasn't smiling, so I furrowed my brow. Did he not want me here?

"I decided to skip them today." I shrugged my shoulders, looking away from his blue eyes.

"Why?" He asked, making his way around the back of the couch so that he could sit beside me. "You shouldn't be missing classes."

"I have a lot on my mind." I explained half-heartedly.

"Such as?" He raised his brows.

I pursed my lips. "Life."

"Life is a very broad answer." He chuckled. "What aspects of it?"

I sighed through my nose, and my shoulders slumped. "Everything, I guess. My hopes, dreams, the future, my friends, my family." I paused, looking away from him. "Love. Stuff like that."

From the corner of my eye, I could see him nodding his head as he looked out into the backyard, just like I was doing. "That's a lot of stuff to be thinking about, kid."

"Hey, I'm not a kid." I playfully shoved him. "You're not that much older than me."

"I'm five years older than you." He grinned. "You are a kid compared to me."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes at him, looking down at my hands in my lap. I felt one of his thin, but slightly toned, arms wrap around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him, until my side was touching his. I looked up at him curiously, and he bit down on his bottom lip.

"It's been a while since I've hugged a person." he said softly, looking out into the backyard. "You kinda look like you need one."

And he was right. I did need one, and being this close to him felt really nice. He smelled good; like body wash and coffee and the cigarette I knew he had smoked in the garage after breakfast, even though he wasn't supposed to be smoking. However, I couldn't help but to think back to what my mother had said to me that morning. Was it really impossible for Derek to love me back? I didn't expect him to right now. I know it's still too soon, but would he ever?