Status: In Progress...
When I Look At You
Chapter 13: Rachel?
A Few Hours Before
*Addy’s POV*
We had a barbecue tonight and we were all there. I looked at Logan a couple of times and he seemed a little spaced out. I was tempted to go to him, see if he was okay. But I thought it was best for me just to leave him alone. Later on after everyone left, I wanted to go up to him. However, before I could, he had disappeared into his room, which was beside my own. I sighed and decided I would talk to him in the morning before retreating to my own room and getting ready for bed. I lay there and felt compelled to write a song, like I used to back home. I got out a sheet of paper and began writing. I don’t know where this was going to go, or what it was going to be like. But I do know one thing; Logan’s my inspiration.
*Logan’s POV*
“Rachel?” I asked in disbelief. She giggled and nodded as she sat beside me. “Yes Logan, it’s me.” She replied, her voice as soft and sweet as it always had been. “How is this possible?” I asked, confused. She laughed again and I smiled; how I had missed her laugh and smile. “It’s a dream Logan; I’m able to come to you.” She replied. I smiled. “I believe we have a lot of catching up to do Mr. Spencer.” She said after a moment of comfy silence. “Yeah, we do. I miss you Rach.” I said as I hugged her. She hugged back. “I miss you too Logan, but I’m always in here.” She said, putting her hand on my heart. I smiled and nodded. Then we started talking about everything and everything. “So, Zach’s wedding is in 7 weeks. I’m so sorry I won’t be there, but I’ll be there in spirit. I’m always watching over you all.” She said as we walked along the beach together in my dream. “Yeah. I’m guessing you know about the whole Josh, Steph, and Rebecca incident then?” I suggested. She nodded. “I was disappointed in Josh at first, but he did good in the end.” She replied. I smiled and nodded as we kept walking.
“So, tell me about this new girl, Addy.” Rachel said as we walked. I looked at her and felt the blush creep to my cheeks. “Logan Spencer, are you blushing?” she asked. I looked up at her and saw she was smiling. “She’s Mel’s cousin from New York.” I replied. “I know that, but tell me how you feel about her.” She said. I looked down at my feet. “Logan, you can tell me you like her, I can tell already by the way you act, just at the mention of her name.” she said sweetly, putting her hand on my shoulder. “I know, I just don’t want you to think I’m forgetting about you.” I reply. She lifts my chin to look her in the face. “Logan, I know you’ll never forget me, but don’t dwell over me either. I’m always with you in your heart. Addy’s a sweet girl and she’s perfect for you, more perfect then I could’ve been. She loves you; it’s easy to see that already. She may not say it and you may be too oblivious to see it, but she is crazy about you too.” She said to me. “How are you so sure?” I ask. She laughs. “I told you, I’m always watching over you guys, checking in from time to time. I see the way she looks and acts around you.” She answered. “I don’t know Rach.” I say to her, feeling less confident. “I want you to listen to me right now okay?” she asked. I nodded.
“Be with her Logan. You love her. Even a blind man could see that. It’s only been a few weeks but love is weird that way. I can tell that you love her more than life itself, and you would just be hurting yourself if you didn’t go after her. I promise you Logan, you are not going to hurt me by being with her. I want you to be happy and I wouldn’t want anyone but Addy being the girl to take care of you, to love you like I wasn’t able to. I will always be with you Logan; you aren’t going to forget me. There’s one place I’ll always be.” She said. “And where’s that?” I asked. “Your heart.” She replied. I smiled and felt a tear fall down my face. “I must leave now Logan, but I’ll drop in from time to time.” She said, wiping the tear from my face. I leaned my face into her hand. “Remember Logan, I will always be with you and I will always love you.” She said once more before kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, she was gone. Then…I woke up…
*Addy’s POV*
I woke up the next morning to find myself surrounded by crumbled papers, each with song ideas written on them. I stretched and stood up, beginning to clean up my mess. This is probably the hardest time I have ever had writing a song. Usually, it comes so easy to me, almost like breathing. Once I finished cleaning up, I went downstairs to have some breakfast. “Morning Mel.” I said to my cousin who was making pancakes. “Morning Addy. You look dead, did you get any sleep last night?” she asked as I slid onto a stool by the breakfast bar. I yawned before answering her. “Yes, but not a lot.” I replied. “Why? Are you feeling okay?” she asked sweetly. I nodded. “I was writing again, a song.” I answered as she slid a cup of tea in front of me. “You started writing again?” she asked as I took a sip. I nodded. “Who’s the inspiration?” she asked right away, as if she could read my mind. I blushed and looked down. “It’s Logan isn’t it?” she questioned when I didn’t respond. I looked up at her to see her back was turned to me. When I didn’t respond, she turned and with a huge smile on her face she replied “I knew it.” “Knew what?” I asked her. Her smile widened.
“I knew from the beginning that you and Logan were going to clique the way you did. I knew from the moment he laid his eyes on you. Addy, he hasn’t even so much as looked at a girl since Rachel died. But then you came along.” She said to me. I looked down again. “Mel, I just can’t. What if he does what Eric did? Eric cheated on me with my best friend. They had been going behind my back for months. What if he does that?” I ask her, feeling the tears coming on. “Sweetie, Logan would never dream of doing that to you. Didn’t you see the way he reacted when he showed up at the hospital the day Steph got in the accident? He was so worried about you! He ran to you!” she said reassuringly. “I know Mel. I’m just so scared.” I replied, sounding so meek, so innocent. She came over to me and hugged me tight. “Have you told anyone else about what happened with Eric yet?” she whispered. I nodded. “The girls know. I haven’t told the boys yet, but I’m sure Cassie, Bella, and Steph told Greg, Ryan, and Josh. I want to tell Logan myself though.” I replied. She pulled away and smiled. “Well make sure you tell him eventually; he deserves to know.” She replied. Just as she said that, Zach and Greg walked into the room, followed by Logan.
“Morning boys! Breakfast is almost ready.” Mel said as Zach kissed her cheek while pouring himself a cup of coffee. Greg and Logan took seats on either side of me as we waited for our plates. Greg sipped at his coffee, and Logan just sat there staring into space. Once we had our plates I felt Logan nudge me. “Wanna eat outside?” he asked as he stood up. I nodded and stood up, taking my plate with me as I followed him onto the patio out in back. We sat at the table on the deck and I looked out into the horizon as I ate. “So how do you like it here so far?” Logan asked me after a few minutes. I smiled and swallowed the food in my mouth. “I love it. I don’t think I ever want to leave.” I replied. He smiled and nodded. “Listen Addy, I was wondering; I have a volleyball practice today at around 2 with Josh for a tournament coming up. I was wondering if before that, you’d want to get lunch with me?” he asked shyly. I smiled. Was he asking me on a date? “You mean like a date?” I asked, blushing. “If that’s what you want to call it.” He replied. I smiled. “Sure, I’d love too.” I said, making him smile. “Great! We’ll leave at 12.” He responded happily. “Sounds good to me.” I replied before finishing my food. I’m going on a date with Logan! I quickly checked the watch on my cell phone and saw that it was 1030. “I’m gonna go get ready, I’ll see you in a bit.” I said as I stood up and brought my plate inside before running up the stairs.
*Addy’s POV*
We had a barbecue tonight and we were all there. I looked at Logan a couple of times and he seemed a little spaced out. I was tempted to go to him, see if he was okay. But I thought it was best for me just to leave him alone. Later on after everyone left, I wanted to go up to him. However, before I could, he had disappeared into his room, which was beside my own. I sighed and decided I would talk to him in the morning before retreating to my own room and getting ready for bed. I lay there and felt compelled to write a song, like I used to back home. I got out a sheet of paper and began writing. I don’t know where this was going to go, or what it was going to be like. But I do know one thing; Logan’s my inspiration.
*Logan’s POV*
“Rachel?” I asked in disbelief. She giggled and nodded as she sat beside me. “Yes Logan, it’s me.” She replied, her voice as soft and sweet as it always had been. “How is this possible?” I asked, confused. She laughed again and I smiled; how I had missed her laugh and smile. “It’s a dream Logan; I’m able to come to you.” She replied. I smiled. “I believe we have a lot of catching up to do Mr. Spencer.” She said after a moment of comfy silence. “Yeah, we do. I miss you Rach.” I said as I hugged her. She hugged back. “I miss you too Logan, but I’m always in here.” She said, putting her hand on my heart. I smiled and nodded. Then we started talking about everything and everything. “So, Zach’s wedding is in 7 weeks. I’m so sorry I won’t be there, but I’ll be there in spirit. I’m always watching over you all.” She said as we walked along the beach together in my dream. “Yeah. I’m guessing you know about the whole Josh, Steph, and Rebecca incident then?” I suggested. She nodded. “I was disappointed in Josh at first, but he did good in the end.” She replied. I smiled and nodded as we kept walking.
“So, tell me about this new girl, Addy.” Rachel said as we walked. I looked at her and felt the blush creep to my cheeks. “Logan Spencer, are you blushing?” she asked. I looked up at her and saw she was smiling. “She’s Mel’s cousin from New York.” I replied. “I know that, but tell me how you feel about her.” She said. I looked down at my feet. “Logan, you can tell me you like her, I can tell already by the way you act, just at the mention of her name.” she said sweetly, putting her hand on my shoulder. “I know, I just don’t want you to think I’m forgetting about you.” I reply. She lifts my chin to look her in the face. “Logan, I know you’ll never forget me, but don’t dwell over me either. I’m always with you in your heart. Addy’s a sweet girl and she’s perfect for you, more perfect then I could’ve been. She loves you; it’s easy to see that already. She may not say it and you may be too oblivious to see it, but she is crazy about you too.” She said to me. “How are you so sure?” I ask. She laughs. “I told you, I’m always watching over you guys, checking in from time to time. I see the way she looks and acts around you.” She answered. “I don’t know Rach.” I say to her, feeling less confident. “I want you to listen to me right now okay?” she asked. I nodded.
“Be with her Logan. You love her. Even a blind man could see that. It’s only been a few weeks but love is weird that way. I can tell that you love her more than life itself, and you would just be hurting yourself if you didn’t go after her. I promise you Logan, you are not going to hurt me by being with her. I want you to be happy and I wouldn’t want anyone but Addy being the girl to take care of you, to love you like I wasn’t able to. I will always be with you Logan; you aren’t going to forget me. There’s one place I’ll always be.” She said. “And where’s that?” I asked. “Your heart.” She replied. I smiled and felt a tear fall down my face. “I must leave now Logan, but I’ll drop in from time to time.” She said, wiping the tear from my face. I leaned my face into her hand. “Remember Logan, I will always be with you and I will always love you.” She said once more before kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, she was gone. Then…I woke up…
*Addy’s POV*
I woke up the next morning to find myself surrounded by crumbled papers, each with song ideas written on them. I stretched and stood up, beginning to clean up my mess. This is probably the hardest time I have ever had writing a song. Usually, it comes so easy to me, almost like breathing. Once I finished cleaning up, I went downstairs to have some breakfast. “Morning Mel.” I said to my cousin who was making pancakes. “Morning Addy. You look dead, did you get any sleep last night?” she asked as I slid onto a stool by the breakfast bar. I yawned before answering her. “Yes, but not a lot.” I replied. “Why? Are you feeling okay?” she asked sweetly. I nodded. “I was writing again, a song.” I answered as she slid a cup of tea in front of me. “You started writing again?” she asked as I took a sip. I nodded. “Who’s the inspiration?” she asked right away, as if she could read my mind. I blushed and looked down. “It’s Logan isn’t it?” she questioned when I didn’t respond. I looked up at her to see her back was turned to me. When I didn’t respond, she turned and with a huge smile on her face she replied “I knew it.” “Knew what?” I asked her. Her smile widened.
“I knew from the beginning that you and Logan were going to clique the way you did. I knew from the moment he laid his eyes on you. Addy, he hasn’t even so much as looked at a girl since Rachel died. But then you came along.” She said to me. I looked down again. “Mel, I just can’t. What if he does what Eric did? Eric cheated on me with my best friend. They had been going behind my back for months. What if he does that?” I ask her, feeling the tears coming on. “Sweetie, Logan would never dream of doing that to you. Didn’t you see the way he reacted when he showed up at the hospital the day Steph got in the accident? He was so worried about you! He ran to you!” she said reassuringly. “I know Mel. I’m just so scared.” I replied, sounding so meek, so innocent. She came over to me and hugged me tight. “Have you told anyone else about what happened with Eric yet?” she whispered. I nodded. “The girls know. I haven’t told the boys yet, but I’m sure Cassie, Bella, and Steph told Greg, Ryan, and Josh. I want to tell Logan myself though.” I replied. She pulled away and smiled. “Well make sure you tell him eventually; he deserves to know.” She replied. Just as she said that, Zach and Greg walked into the room, followed by Logan.
“Morning boys! Breakfast is almost ready.” Mel said as Zach kissed her cheek while pouring himself a cup of coffee. Greg and Logan took seats on either side of me as we waited for our plates. Greg sipped at his coffee, and Logan just sat there staring into space. Once we had our plates I felt Logan nudge me. “Wanna eat outside?” he asked as he stood up. I nodded and stood up, taking my plate with me as I followed him onto the patio out in back. We sat at the table on the deck and I looked out into the horizon as I ate. “So how do you like it here so far?” Logan asked me after a few minutes. I smiled and swallowed the food in my mouth. “I love it. I don’t think I ever want to leave.” I replied. He smiled and nodded. “Listen Addy, I was wondering; I have a volleyball practice today at around 2 with Josh for a tournament coming up. I was wondering if before that, you’d want to get lunch with me?” he asked shyly. I smiled. Was he asking me on a date? “You mean like a date?” I asked, blushing. “If that’s what you want to call it.” He replied. I smiled. “Sure, I’d love too.” I said, making him smile. “Great! We’ll leave at 12.” He responded happily. “Sounds good to me.” I replied before finishing my food. I’m going on a date with Logan! I quickly checked the watch on my cell phone and saw that it was 1030. “I’m gonna go get ready, I’ll see you in a bit.” I said as I stood up and brought my plate inside before running up the stairs.