She's so Bright

What a strange thing it is to want something even though every bit of your logical mind tells you otherwise. Tells you to turn away. Say no. Run. But your heart is relentless. Your heart doesn't care what your logical mind has to say. The heart wants what it wants and there's no telling it otherwise.

I stared at the note I held between my fingers and watched as my hand trembled, the paper shaking along with it.

Remeber what happened the last time.

This has been eerily similar to how it started last time.

Sweet, little notes slid under my door. A constant attempt to hold my attention and gain my affection. A smoldering hint of desire carefully buried in every look.

It seemed as though he couldn’t ever take his hands off of me. And if it wasn’t his hands, it was his eyes. Always watching what I was doing, who I was talking to, where I was going. Even if we weren’t together. He watched me. Because he said he wanted to make sure I was safe. To make sure I was doing okay. To make sure I didn’t try to do again what had landed me here in the first place.

He obsessed over me.

Although, it wasn’t always like that. Not when things first started. Things started as innocently as they were now with John. But the beginning means nothing when you reach the end that we did.

I was just hoping that this time things wouldn’t end as badly as they did last time. But I didn’t want to rely on hope. I wanted to make certain they wouldn’t end like that. That's why I decided I needed to put an end to it as quickly as possible.

The note remained in my hand. I couldn’t put it down. Couldn’t stop staring at it. It held so much weight. I know it was nothing but a crinkly half piece of paper with some words scribbled on it, but it was the heaviest thing I’d ever held in my hands.

Hopefully the next time I knock on your door,
You’ll open it
Until then,
Call me
555-480-6340
- J