Hold My Hand

I was so excited about the fact that I had gotten the guts to actually talk to Lilly. So I kept the smile on my face as I made my way toward side stage, where Jared and Lilly stood talking to each other. She had a smile on her face and he was talking animatedly with his hands, gesturing with every word. She was interested in his conversation, her arms folded across her chest, and Alex Gaskarth joined them, attacking Jared with a hug. I sighed and gave a wave toward Alex when he smiled at me. "Hey, guys," I said quietly, looking at the three. Jared lifted his sunglasses from his nose and announced that he had to go shower before the show. I looked between Alex and Lilly as Alex gave me a knowing smile. Then he nodded, gave me a wave and told Lilly it was nice meeting her and left us by ourselves. Lilly gave me a smile and looked at her feet, "How are you today, Lilly?"

"I'm fine," She giggled, "It's just hot is all. You?"

"Never been better," We started walking around aimlessly and I stuffed my hands in my pockets. I wanted so badly to hold her hand, but I knew that would be weird, so I resisted. "So I was wondering - "

"Oh, hold on," She smiled and ran off toward my friend, Nick Santino, and started basically making out with him in public. I think I almost fell to the ground in shock (and maybe a little bit of disappointment). I sighed as he picked her up and spun her around. This wasn't fair. I saw her first. She was mine. Before I knew it, she was running back. "Sorry about that. What were you saying?"

"Is Nick your boyfriend?"

"Yeah," She squinted her eyes because of the sun. "Why?"

"No reason," I shrugged. "And don't worry about what I was saying. It's not important. You can go back to him if you want. I'm just going to go and see if Jared's out of the shower so I can have it."

"You sure?"

I gave her a reassuring smile and nodded, nudging her shoulder, "Go on. It's no big deal, really."

"Thanks," She giggled and ran back to A Rocket To The Moon's tent, waving at me once she got to Nick. I sighed to myself, stuffed my hands back into my pocket, and walked back to my bus, where I found John playing guitar along with Jared. Pat on the Mac and Kennedy talking to his girlfriend on the phone. I rolled my eyes and stomped toward the bathroom where I could have some privacy.

"I wonder what's stuck up his ass," John said and I rolled my eyes again, slamming the door. "Damn."

After I got out of the shower, all I could think about was the image of Lilly kissing my best friend. That's not what I had wanted to see in life; ever. I was supposed to have Lilly all to myself. My goal was to get her to be mine this summer, sneaking around or not. I didn't care what Jared thought or the rest of the guys. I didn't care that she was only seventeen. She acted way mature for her age, and that's what mattered. She didn't act seventeen.

All I needed was something stable in my life. And Nick Santino wasn't helping.

I guess I'd have to deal with it.

I could do that.

Couldn't I?