The Bitter Sweetness of Sunny Days
1/2 : The Event
The sun was shining brightly and the birds were singing. It was a perfect spring day, it won't be long until it was summer and finally the holidays. I had been longing for this time of year for what felt like forever but I just couldn't enjoy it. Because this year there wouldn't be any family visits to the beach or the fare, when it came to town next week. I wouldn't even be here next week. I shouldn't even be here now. I shouldn't be staring at the coffins as they're lowered into the ground. I should be in one. I shouldn't be amongst the mourners. They should be mourning for me. I should of died, too.
A week ago, on a sunny day like this, where the sun was just bit brighter and capable of blinding. I was sitting in the back of our now totaled car, driving to the beach on a Saturday. I was listening to my music player on full volume, ignoring my parents and younger sibling. I was annoyed at them. I didn't want to go to a over crowded beach just to get sand in my underwear on a Saturday morning but my parents had of course made me. I grown too old for family outings. They would never would be another one, now. I didn't even see the car, I didn't the experience the spit second of knowing but not being to thing about it. I only heard the noise of the impact over the guitar solo and the experience of being slammed against the car door. The feeling of gravity forcing the car down into the ditch and repeatedly hitting my head. I lost consciousness.
I woke up, upside down only being held up with the seat belt that I nearly didn't put on. My eye sight was bury and I couldn't see what was going on. My father in the front of me was already dead and my mother would soon be joining him in his eternal sleep. My baby sister was slowly bleeding to death and I was lucky my heart hadn't jump from it's place. I could hear sirens and people shouting. I blacked out after they got me down.
I woke up in hospital alone. They told me no more than I already knew. I had been in a car clash. They didn't answer my questions. They wouldn't tell me where my parents were and didn't even suspect the truth after they let my sister see me. She would be fine, she had a concussion and a couple of broke ribs which had puched her one of her lungs but she was stable now. I had broken my arm in two places and would now have a scar running hairline to my right eyeblow. We were lucky we could walk out the hospital, our parents would never even open their eyes again.
We finally found out about our parents when our Aunt Eve had made it up from the boarders. The staff didn't want to tell us, so they got someone else to. Aunt Eve didn't mess about and didn't even hugs us before she just told us.
'They're dead. Your parents are dead."
She said it too calmly for it to be true but it was. They were gone and it ended badly. I had been mad at them for something so stupid. I was an orphan and it only got worse.
I was being forced to leave my home, my friends and even my little sister. I hated Aunt Eve and was not looking forward to dealing with my cousins I had never met. Aunt Eve had been left custody of me but not my sister. In our parents will, it stated that we were to go to our god mothers which meant I went to Aunt Eve and Caroline went to out Aunt Ruth. I loved Aunt Ruth, she was the best but Aunt Eve was a cold hearted bitch. The only reason she was my god mother was because she had made my dad, god father of one of her kids. They had barely talked to each other in years. Aunt Ruth offered to take us both but Aunt Eve wouldn't hear of it.
The funeral was, well, it was a funeral. Aunt Ruth organised it, inviting the family members and old friends. It was horrible, I was trying to be strong for Carly but tears had to fall. I don't remember much of the service but their coffins are now tattooed to the inside of my eyelids. That image will never leave me. We all went to our house afterwards, I stay in my room the whole time. I couldn't deal with people anymore. I didn't want to see them, I just wanted to be numb.
Aunt Eve was planning on leaving as soon as possible. She had wanted to go straight after the funeral but Aunt Ruth convince her to wait, for 2 days. Just 2 days and I would be gone from here, I would return, I would visit but it wouldn't be the same.
A week ago, on a sunny day like this, where the sun was just bit brighter and capable of blinding. I was sitting in the back of our now totaled car, driving to the beach on a Saturday. I was listening to my music player on full volume, ignoring my parents and younger sibling. I was annoyed at them. I didn't want to go to a over crowded beach just to get sand in my underwear on a Saturday morning but my parents had of course made me. I grown too old for family outings. They would never would be another one, now. I didn't even see the car, I didn't the experience the spit second of knowing but not being to thing about it. I only heard the noise of the impact over the guitar solo and the experience of being slammed against the car door. The feeling of gravity forcing the car down into the ditch and repeatedly hitting my head. I lost consciousness.
I woke up, upside down only being held up with the seat belt that I nearly didn't put on. My eye sight was bury and I couldn't see what was going on. My father in the front of me was already dead and my mother would soon be joining him in his eternal sleep. My baby sister was slowly bleeding to death and I was lucky my heart hadn't jump from it's place. I could hear sirens and people shouting. I blacked out after they got me down.
I woke up in hospital alone. They told me no more than I already knew. I had been in a car clash. They didn't answer my questions. They wouldn't tell me where my parents were and didn't even suspect the truth after they let my sister see me. She would be fine, she had a concussion and a couple of broke ribs which had puched her one of her lungs but she was stable now. I had broken my arm in two places and would now have a scar running hairline to my right eyeblow. We were lucky we could walk out the hospital, our parents would never even open their eyes again.
We finally found out about our parents when our Aunt Eve had made it up from the boarders. The staff didn't want to tell us, so they got someone else to. Aunt Eve didn't mess about and didn't even hugs us before she just told us.
'They're dead. Your parents are dead."
She said it too calmly for it to be true but it was. They were gone and it ended badly. I had been mad at them for something so stupid. I was an orphan and it only got worse.
I was being forced to leave my home, my friends and even my little sister. I hated Aunt Eve and was not looking forward to dealing with my cousins I had never met. Aunt Eve had been left custody of me but not my sister. In our parents will, it stated that we were to go to our god mothers which meant I went to Aunt Eve and Caroline went to out Aunt Ruth. I loved Aunt Ruth, she was the best but Aunt Eve was a cold hearted bitch. The only reason she was my god mother was because she had made my dad, god father of one of her kids. They had barely talked to each other in years. Aunt Ruth offered to take us both but Aunt Eve wouldn't hear of it.
The funeral was, well, it was a funeral. Aunt Ruth organised it, inviting the family members and old friends. It was horrible, I was trying to be strong for Carly but tears had to fall. I don't remember much of the service but their coffins are now tattooed to the inside of my eyelids. That image will never leave me. We all went to our house afterwards, I stay in my room the whole time. I couldn't deal with people anymore. I didn't want to see them, I just wanted to be numb.
Aunt Eve was planning on leaving as soon as possible. She had wanted to go straight after the funeral but Aunt Ruth convince her to wait, for 2 days. Just 2 days and I would be gone from here, I would return, I would visit but it wouldn't be the same.