I Confess... I'm Messed Up

I watched as the bright red umbrella walked down the street. There I stood on my balcony smoking, and flicking it off before it burned my finger. Smoking was a habit I gave up after he left. Not that he'd come back, not now and not then. Shivering I finally realized how cold it really was out.

Putting out my cigarette I sighed looking out and tried to catch a glimpse of him one more time. Maybe a walk of my own wasn't so bad after all. There was a lot to think about right now. I turned and went inside to fetch a jacket. The grey of the fabric matched not only my mood but the weather.

Nine months until his new band released their first album, I should have known something was odd. It is a magic number. Ryan not only left me standing in the dust but Spencer too, his best friend. Another odd event that left everyone in aw. Sticking my hands in my pockets I slowly felt my nose and cheeks turn flush and my hair dampen.

Now, let me tell you, never in a million years did I ever imagine myself moving to Chicago. This is one reason enforcing why: the weather and the other fact of who in their right mind would move for their friends? Now I know I should have stayed for my family. With my family. Even if a member didn't want me to actually be there, I still would have been some sort of a loop.

I want to but I know I shouldn't…