Strange Terrain

Monday, 10:37 AM.

I stared longingly at the clock, watching the dismal seconds tick away slowly as I rhythmically tapped my pen across the pages of doodles bordering my American Government notes. Time always seemed to pass sluggishly in the beginning of the week, setting in the reminder that there were four more days until the freedom of the weekend. If there was one day of the week I hated most in the world, it definitely had to be Mondays.

"John Locke's theory of life, liberty, health, and possessions would later go on to influence Thomas Jefferson and the founding fathers during the drafting of the Constitution as well as the Declaration of Independence…"

Mr. Readick, the Government teacher, turned to write some key points on the chalkboard behind him as he continued his explanation of the foundation of the United States based on the philosophies and theories of British Enlightenment thinkers. Having already completed the chapter reading over the weekend, I found myself rather board with the lecture and turned my attention from the slowly ticking clock to scenery outside the window beside me. This class seemed a little too simple for me so required very little attention compared to the other classes I was taking.

I had always been good in school for as long as I can remember. I was a straight A student with a shot at being valedictorian at graduation pending the results of my GPA this last year. I was enrolled in the advanced Spanish, English, Math, Economics, and Physics classes as well as Art. To the regular high school student, that seemed like too much work to contend with in one go but for me, it was relatively easy to balance out my study schedule. I had a photographic memory when it came to reading and listening to the lectures so I had a fair advantage over most when it came down to studying the material for examinations.

Most of my fellow students at Huntington High considered me a nerd, especially since I played to some of the typical stereotypes. I always carried an armful of books throughout the day, spent most of my free time in the library, either studying or reading, and had relatively no friends to speak of. The only two people I seemed to connect well with were Naoki Shapiro, who would've been in the popular crowd had it not been for his 'aggressive' looking attitude, and Casadee Riley, who actually was in the popular crowd but looked down upon for actually having a brain.

I had met Naoki and Casadee in my science class during freshman year, all of us clicking right away since we were the only three freshmen to be in the sophomore biology class. Since then, we've remained close, always finding ourselves in the same science class. Naoki was part of the 'art' crowd, often hanging around the art studio with some of his other friends while Casadee was one of the popular girls, dating Zacky Baker, one of the members of the baseball team as well as a guitarist for a local band, Avenged Sevenfold. I could never understand why Naoki and Casadee seemed to enjoy the company of a shy little bookworm like me but I was thankful they were my friends because they were about the only two people that made high school bearable.

Aside from my two friends, I was practically invisible to everyone else. The teachers seemed to favor me a lot in the classroom, since I was an encyclopedia of knowledge and further reassurance that their teaching methods worked but to other students, I wasn't well known. People knew my name and knew that I was a nerd but for the most part, no one ever spoke to me unless it was absolutely necessary. My social life was rather limited. If Naoki and Casadee weren't around, I usually buried myself into a book or homework assignments to fill the void of loneliness that seemed to follow me around. I was too shy to strike up conversation with other people and also, rather socially awkward considering my intelligence level and limited exposure to conversations with others. I seemed to be a lost cause when it came to talking with others.

"Alexandria Elliot, can you explain the influence of Rousseau's theory of the 'natural state' in contrast to Locke?" Mr. Readick asked me, looking up from his notes.

I tore my gaze away from the ticking clock, looking at the teacher with little enthusiasm. Though I excelled in this class, due to many hours spent reading books in the library during lunch over the last four years, I had to admit that I was just too tired from lack of sleep the night before to concentrate wholly on the lesson. Quickly glancing down at my lack of notes, I found where we'd left off and was able to formulate the correct answer quickly.

"Rousseau believes that the motivations of man had been corrupted and constructed by interaction of society and that the natural state could only be achieved via wholesale social reform. Unlike Locke and Hobbes, Rousseau's views of the natural state have seemed to influence socialist ideals rather than democratic," I replied, pushing my black, thick-rimmed glasses further up the bridge of my nose.

"Excellent," Mr. Readick nodded with a satisfied grin. "Now, Rousseau's counterpart, the English Enlightenment thinker, William Godwin, expressed views of…"

Mr. Readick continued on with his lecture, writing more key points on the chalkboard as I returned my gaze out the window at the street below. I was quite bored with nothing to work on and couldn't seem to sustain my mind in a train of thought long enough that would make the time pass quicker. With a small sigh, I found it hopeless to find distraction from the lecture of the influences of early American Government.

Suddenly, the door opened and closed, gaining the entire class's attention as Mr. Readick paused in his lecture. I glanced at the door; a small smile forming on my face as I saw who it was that had walked in and caused a halt to the class.

Standing in the doorway with an infectious grin was the object of my year-long affection, Brian Haner Jr, dressed in a black Metallica shirt that clung to his muscular upper body quiet snuggly and a pair of dark, blue jeans. He had few tattoos on his arms, as well as black finger nails that demonstrated his rocker style. His short, spiky brown hair looked unkept, almost as if he didn't put much effort into styling it today. He had little facial hair on his chin, enhancing his masculine appearance instead of hindering it like facial hair did for so many other senior guys. His warm, chocolate brown eyes seemed to scan the room quickly, looking for his classroom companions before looking to the teacher, who wasn't happy with the interruption of his lesson.

"Mr. Haner, you're fifteen minutes late," Mr. Readick said in annoyance, setting his lecture notes down on the desk in front of him.

"I got caught up with Coach about weight training," Brian replied coolly, adjusting the strap of his black backpack.

"Don't let it happen again or it'll be detention," Mr. Readick sighed, turning back to the chalkboard. "Now take your seat."

Brian seemed rather pleased that he was able to skate by without punishment and walked to his seat near the middle of the classroom. He dropped his bag to the ground and pulled out a notebook and pen, jotting down the missed notes he needed to catch up on from the start of class. I couldn't help but watch him from my limited view, the expression on his face showing a rare seriousness as he copied the notes onto the blank sheet of paper. He chewed on the cap of his pen as he wrote, whispering to his friends that sat around him. I realized I had been staring for too long and snapped myself out of the daze, forcing myself too look at the chalkboard and copy notes.

Brian Haner was one of the popular crowd of Huntington High. He was in the same band as Zacky, also a guitarist, and another member of the baseball team. Most of the time, he hung around Jimmy Sullivan, pulling pranks on teachers and attending all the major high school parties. Some of the stories of Jimmy and Brian's drunken evenings have become quite legendary at the school, earning them high regard throughout the student body. Most of the girls in the senior class also seemed to lust after him, considering Brian was one of the hottest guys on campus. He, along with Zacky, Jimmy, and Matt Sanders, weren't the typical looking jocks but still highly sought after because they were so charming.

I kept close observations of him for the past year, finding myself slowly falling in love with him. There was just something about him that made me want to pay attention to him, though I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. I told Casadee and Naoki of my small crush six months ago, to which they looked at me as if I were crazy. According to Casadee, he was selfish, arrogant, and as she so eloquently put it, 'one of the biggest dicks I've ever met'. Though she had given me ample warnings about him, I couldn't help but like him. There was just something about his cool demeanor and prankster attitude that seemed to be misunderstood by most. I knew there was more to Brian Haner than what he appeared to be; a mystery that remained unsolved to the other students of Huntington High. I wanted to discover the truth behind the mystery.

I noticed that Brian's attention was focused in the front near the door, his usually warm eyes now staring at a particular blonde with malevolence I hadn't seen before. The blonde tossed her hair over her shoulder, also sneaking a peak back at Brian with a wicked smirk on her lips before returning her attention back to the lecture at hand. Annoyance was clear on Brian's features as he let out a deep sigh, tossing his pen on the desk and folding his arms over his chest. It was rare to see him so agitated, especially since he was known for his stunning stoic facial expressions but then again, the source of his irritation was none other than Madison Clark, his ex-girlfriend.

Madison and Brian were the power couple of Huntington High. Madison was one of the rich girls that walked around in designer clothing and heels, spouting her extensive knowledge on celebrity gossip, since her father owned one of the biggest LA gossip magazines. It made sense for someone as popular as her would end up with Brian, even though they always seemed a little mismatched in personalities. The day their relationship became known was the day my dreams of ever getting up the nerve to speak to Brian were squashed.

For the entirety of junior year, Brian and Madison ruled the school as king and queen until summer when word broke out like wildfire that Madison was interested in some college guy at UCLA and broke off their relationship. From what I heard from Casadee, Brian didn't take it all that well, not because he really cared for her but because he had never had a girl dump him before. Since the beginning of this year, he seemed rather bitter around Madison or when the topic of their failed relationship was mentioned.

Looking towards the blonde bombshell, I could see why so many guys lusted after her. She was extremely gorgeous with her long, wavy, naturally blonde hair and flawless, creamy skin. She had an amazing figure, slender yet somehow still with well-defined curves that she often accentuated with low-cut tops and low-rider jeans. Compared to me, with my long, thick, choppy dark brown hair and pale, white skin, Madison was definitely a ten in the looks department while I remained in the five to six range. There was just no comparison between us. Madison Clark and I were in separate leagues and that's where we'd remain for the rest of our high school lives.

I snuck one last glance at Brian, noticing that he was looking in my direction out the window. I quickly turned my attention back to my lecture notes, feeling my cheeks redden in embarrassment from almost getting caught. I knew that this crush on Brian would amount to nothing but a one-sided love, especially since he didn't even know who I was. There was no way that someone as popular as him would ever want a little nerd like me, not when practically all of the female population of Huntington High constantly threw themselves at him.

The rest of class seemed to revolve around my negative thoughts on the subject. Before I knew it, the bell was ringing, signaling the end to class. I gathered my things and put them all in my Radiohead tote bag before gathering up the books to transfer to my locker. As everyone piled out of the room, I wasn't really paying much attention to my surroundings until someone pushed me from behind, causing me to fly face-first, forward into someone's back. I quickly regained my composure, the pain of impact rather minimal, and looked up to the person I ran into.

"Sorry," I said meekly, pushing my glasses further up the bridge of my nose.

My eyes widened with shock when I saw Brian Haner staring back at me. The speed of my heart quickened as breath hitched in my throat. I ran into Brian Haner of all people; the one person I had been dreaming about all of last period. His eyes briefly scanned my body, clearing his throat before giving me a small nod as acceptance of my apology before he continued on his way as if nothing happened. My eyes were transfixed on his back as he joined the lively crowd roaming to their next class, my lips curled upward into a silly grin.

It was strange that the briefest, smallest contact with him just made my heart soar. It was hard to believe that with such limited contact with him, I was so infatuated. It didn't seem like a rational emotion to be so enamored with someone that I hardly spoke six words to in the last four years of high school.

The kid behind me tapped my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts and moving out of the middle of the doorway and in with the rest of the crowd as they made their way to class. I seemed to move as if I were floating on a cloud; first dropping my books off at my locker and then floating all the way across campus to my physics class. I could feel a goofy grin on my face the entire time as well, knowing that I had a small encounter with my year-long crush. Though it was still one-sided, I wondered what he might think if he were to receive a letter from a secret admirer, if he would regard my feelings and search for the identity of the writer or disregard it completely.

"Hello?! Earth to Alex! Come in Alex!" Casadee's loud voice rang in my ear as she fervently waved her hand in front of my face to gain my attention.

I snapped myself out my daze, noticing that Casadee and Naoki were sitting at our lab station, staring at me like I had gone completely bonkers. I let out a nervous chuckle and tried to hide my reddening cheeks with my binder, peering over the top of it at my two friends.

Though Casadee Riley was considered one of the popular crowd, she definitely didn't dress the part like a lot of the other girls at Huntington. She was completely beautiful with her dark eyes and short black hair but she didn't really seem all that girly in the way she presented herself. She wore minimal makeup and lots of black shirts and ripped jeans, finding a hatred for anything relating to the color pink or big-time designer labels. She wasn't the most conventional cookie-cutter popular girl in our school but no one ever questioned or criticized her because of her status as Zacky Baker's girlfriend. Casadee was allowed to get away with murder on that basis alone.

Naoki Shapiro wasn't necessarily as popular as Casadee or any of the guys in Avenged Sevenfold but he was still regarded as a hottie to those in the art crowd, due in large part to his involvement in dancing. He was a tall, muscular guy with beautiful tan skin, light brown wavy hair, and light brown Asian eyes he acquired from his half-Japanese, half-Spanish heritage. He was a strong, silent type that girls admired because he looked like a model. Just looking at him, I couldn't understand why he was still single, especially with the amount of girls that chased him around on a daily basis.

Together, we seemed to complete on another in personality. I was lucky to have made two good friends in a school where I was practically invisible most of the time. Casadee had all the confidence in the world and didn't really seem to care about what others said or thought about her, as long as nobody crossed her. Naoki, though intimidating to look at and quiet in his demeanor, seemed to have no problems fitting in with the guys in the art department as well as on the student council. I really couldn't understand why they decided to befriend some mousy braniac like me, especially since I didn't really contribute much to their reputations.

In the beginning, we were forced together due to a seating chart by the freshman science teacher. Casadee's 'take charge' attitude and Naoki's propensity to speak bluntly yet only when necessary made it difficult to speak to each other but after spending five days a week, every week with each other, we soon found ourselves forming a bond with one another.

Casadee laughed at me, flicking her black fringe out of her eyes before resting casually against the table. Naoki cracked a tiny smile, his laughter reserved as he shook his head at me, sitting up straight on the uncomfortable stool.

"When did you guys get here?" I asked sheepishly, placing my binder back on the table top.

"We were here before you came waltzing through the door with that dopey look on your cute face," Casadee answered, poking my cheek with the eraser end of her pencil.

"What happened?" Naoki asked point-blankly.

"Um, nothing," I lied quickly, opening the book to the correct page indicated on the whiteboard in the front of the class. "So, this lab we're doing today…"

"Uh-uh!" Casadee interjected quickly. "No changing the subject!"

"We know you're lying because whenever you try to avoid topics, you start talking about the lab assignments we know you have absolutely no interest in. You might want to work on that," Naoki replied with a sly smile. "Oh, and the fact that you're cheeks are red is also a dead giveaway."

"Am I that obvious?" I asked meekly, looking up at the two pair of inquisitive eyes, feeling more embarrassment seep in from how transparent I could be sometimes.

"Honey, you're a horrible liar. You're about as easy to read as the big letter "E" at the top of the eye test chart. Everyone knows that one," Casadee said. "Now, tell us why you're so high on cloud nine coming from Government class, of all places," she said nicely yet demandingly in her tone.

"I know what it is," Naoki sighed, looking towards the whiteboard. Casadee and I looked at him curiously, wondering what was running through his mind at the moment. Naoki wasn't usually the type of guy that wore his emotions on his sleeve but I knew that he was annoyed with something by the way he avoided eye contact. "It's something to do with Haner, isn't it?"

I blushed, thinking back to few seconds where he actually looked at me before I snapped myself out of my giddy state, looking at Naoki curiously, asking in a very serious tone, "How did you know?"

"Oh my God! Why are you so happy over that bastard?!" Casadee said disapprovingly. "God, I just don't understand why you're so taken with someone as horrible as him!"

"I don't think he's horrible," I said lamely, looking down at my nervous fidgeting fingers. "I just think there's more to him that what people here at school know."

"Trust me Alex, I spend time with him away from school and he's pretty much the same guy he is here," Casadee replied. "I swear, if I didn't have to put up with him for the sake of my boyfriend, I would've already kicked the shit out of him."

"Besides, it's not like you two have actually held a conversation. You don't really know anything about him," Naoki chimed in.

"I'm sure if you really got to know him, you would change your mind about him," Casadee said. "There's nothing good that could come out of knowing Brian Haner."

"Why are you two so sure that you've got him figured out?" I asked defensively.

Sure, my friends made a good point in saying that I didn't know him at all but could they really be so judgmental towards him? How did they know what he was like anymore than I did? From what I could tell, though Casadee spent a great deal of time with him due to his friendship with her boyfriend, she avoided him at all costs, and Naoki wasn't the type of person that would start a friendship with him since he wasn't a fan of the popular crowd. How could either of them make these kinds of judgments without any solid evidence?

"Trust me Alex. I know," she said gently. "I'm only telling you this for your own benefit."

I was about to say something else when Mr. Manning, the physics teacher, walked into the room, commanding everyone's attention and silencing all conversations in the room with his loud, enthusiastic greeting, "Good afternoon everyone! Let's crack open the books and get started a short lecture about our lab assignment on projectile motion."

I flipped open my binder, ready to take notes on the lecture while thinking about the things that my friends had said about Brian. I know that they have my best interest in mind when they tell me that I shouldn't like him but why are they so sure that he's bad? Who's to say that he'd treat me horrible, even though we're in separate social cliques? The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try and speak to him, just to prove Naoki and Casadee wrong.

Sometime during the lecture about today's lab assignments and the whispered conversation of Casadee's latest date with Zacky and Naoki's upcoming dance competition, I had decided that I was going to write Brian a letter, confessing all of my feelings for him that I've harbored for the last year. I knew that I would never have the guts to actually leave it in his locker for him or anything but I thought that maybe if I was able to voice my feelings in a letter I would finally be able to push past this ridiculous crush. It seemed rather juvenile to think about writing a letter as means to voice my emotions but I figured there would be no harm. He would never get it anyway.

What could it really hurt? Our worlds were already so separate that there would never be a situation that would force us together in conversation.