Strange Terrain

"So, what are the plans for this weekend?" Casadee asked as we walked out of Physics class on the way to lunch.

"I've got work all weekend so count me out for anything fun," Naoki replied, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes.

"I don't think I'm doing anything except working on that Shakespeare essay," I said, adjusting the strap of my book bag.

"Shakespeare? What a bore," Casadee sighed. "You really need to take a break on the studies and have fun. You can't let your whole high school life flash by without enjoying it a bit! We're teenagers! We're supposed to be going out and getting into trouble!" she argued.

"Which is why you always call me every Saturday night, drunk out of your mind and in need of a ride home," Naoki said. "I'm not a taxi service."

"You are when you decide to answer the phone at two in the morning, knowing exactly who it is on the other end," Casadee smiled.

Naoki just shook his head in response, tucking his free hand into his pocket as we wandered through the crowded hallways. I laughed at the two of them, hugging my book closer to my body. Naoki and Casadee always seemed to bicker about her drunken antics over the weekend, especially since Casadee could only really rely on Naoki's availability to act as her chauffer in the early Saturday hours. I had a feeling that if I had a car, I would also receive my fair share of calls instead of Naoki.

"Anyway," Naoki said as we neared my locker, "Hate to cut this conversation short but I gotta stop by the dance room and see Teach. I'll catch up with you later."

"Later ballerina boy," Casadee smiled with a small salute.

Naoki rolled his eyes at her nickname for him before flashing me a small smile and making his way down the hall towards the dance room near the gymnasium. I watched him walk away from us, smiling to myself before reaching my locker. Casadee leaned against the neighboring lockers with a heavy sigh, probably wondering what she was going to do for lunch since Naoki was busy.

She still avoided sitting with anyone that had to do with Zacky, which has caused quite a stir amongst the other girls in school. They were one of the few couples in school that displayed their affection openly so the past week and a half with no conversation between them caused the rumor mill to activate. She wasn't happy about people talking about her but at the same time, I could tell that she was bothered that everyone seemed to be saying that they were finished. I knew that she was just too stubborn and prideful to admit that this argument had gone too far but now, things looked dismal for her.

I opened up m locker, ready to place my books inside when I noticed a folded slip of paper inside. I picked it up, wondering who would have slipped a note into my locker. Looking around in hopes that whoever put the note into my locker was making themselves look obvious, I quickly opened it.

'Cafeteria today at lunch. You won't be disappointed, was all it read.

There was no signature and I didn't recognize the sloppy handwriting. There was no way that Casadee or Naoki would have slipped the note into my locker since I can identify their writing. I didn't really speak to anyone else in school so it could be anyone. Despite the feeling of dread I felt in the pit of my stomach from the thought of entering the cafeteria, I also felt a slight intrigue. Whoever did this really wanted me there in the cafeteria today. I remained slightly skeptical about the motives behind the request in my presence but decided to take a chance.

"You know what," I said, gaining Casadee's attention as I slipped the note into my Physics book, "I think I'll have lunch in the cafeteria today."

"What? Did I just hear you correctly?" Casadee asked, pushing herself off the lockers.

"Yes, you heard me right," I smiled.

"But you hate being in the caf," she said.

"I know but I figured I'd give you someone to talk to since Naoki's busy with dance," I replied. "Besides, I don't have much homework to do so all I would be doing in the library is drawing. I could use a break from that to spend time with my friend."

Casadee seemed stunned but my response. I was even shocked with how easily a little white lie seemed to spill from my lips with ease. I couldn't explain it but I had a good feeling about this note in my locker. I didn't want to miss whatever was happening in the cafeteria today, not after receiving an invitation. It would be rude not to accept.

"Well, I'm not even gonna question it. I'm just happy that you've decided not to hole yourself away in the library like you usually do," Casadee smiled warmly, linking one of her arms with mine. She shut my locker for me and led me down the hall in the opposite direction of my normal route, "Off we go!"

I followed her quietly, feeling the paranoia begin to sink in. It had just occurred to me that I was going to be surrounded by a bunch of people that I normally avoided and I didn't like that idea at all. I could potentially attract negative attention by appearing in the cafeteria today, which I wasn't too fond of. I knew it would piss Casadee off and I didn't want to add to her burdens since she was still dealing with the circulating rumors about her ended relationship. She would definitely punch someone out if they pissed her off today.

The chatter from other people's conversations began to grow louder, graduating to a dull roar as we neared the cafeteria doors. I stopped, looking at the doors with wide eyes as Casadee laughed at my reaction. She pulled me forward, obviously not letting me escape now as I took a big breath in preparation. Casadee opened one of the doors and led me inside the room I had only been in once before since I began my high school life at Huntington.

The room was larger than I remember with rows and rows of long tables spread along the tiled flooring. I could smell the food cooking from the kitchen area and noticed the long queue of students waiting to get their lunch. There was a stage area on the other side of the cafeteria where the student council usually made their announcements and a small booth on the side near the windows with a sign indicating they were there for some kind of club thing. It was overwhelming for me. I was used to the quiet of the library, not the loud buzzing of the lively cafeteria.

Casadee steered me through the aisle of one row of tables, passing the cheerleaders and art crowd in order to get a free table near the windows. A few tables ahead of us, I could see Matt, Brian, and Jimmy at a table with some of the popular girls, talking and laughing amongst themselves. I noticed that Casadee glanced in that direction and showing some clear disappointment in Zacky's absence from the group. I smiled secretly to myself, knowing that she really missed him, contrary to what she told me.

We took a seat at the end of the table near the windows, each one of us on opposite sides as I nervously looked around. There were a few people looking at us and whispering but I could tell they were intimidated since Casadee was with me. No one dared approach us when she was there with me. It would be a foolish decision on their part since all it would do is cause some kind of unwanted violence to occur.

I pulled out my lunch from my bag, wondering if Casadee was going to get anything. I had a feeling that she was skipping lunch in order to remain by my side, which instantly made me feel bad. She would never admit it but I could tell that she wanted the pizza that they were serving in the line. As I pulled out my turkey sandwich, the Ziploc baggie of Goldfish, and cookies Suzy made the day before, I pushed my bag of Goldfish toward Casadee, who looked at me funny.

"You can have some if you want," I offered quietly.

She smiled, opening the back and grabbing a couple of the orange crackers. I pulled half of my sandwich out, taking a bite and kept my glance down at the table. I wasn't sure what people normally did at lunch. Normal for me consisted of eating my lunch while reading through textbooks and finishing my homework. Since I had nothing else to do, I was unsure of what people usually did, especially in the cafeteria. It seemed that the bigger the group, the more there was to do since conversation was livelier.

"Well now, this looks like the place I want to be," I heard a familiar voice say.

I looked up and noticed Johnny, the kid I had met a few days ago, taking a seat next to Casadee with his lunch tray. He was smiling at me, letting his backpack drop to the floor behind him as I shyly returned the smile.

"I thought for sure that you were going to bother Jimmy with your presence today," Casadee said in a joking manner.

"And leave you two ladies on your own? No way! I like the two to one odds going on here," he winked.

"You don't have any odds to speak of," Casadee laughed, shaking her head.

"Well, I can dream, can't I?" he smiled.

I laughed, unsure of what to say to him. The thing I realized about Johnny was that he was pretty straight forward with what he thought. He had no filtering system to speak of. Whatever thoughts occurred in his mind were voiced without any regret. That aspect about him made me admire him a bit. He didn't seem to care what anyone said about him.

"So, I don't normally see you in the cafeteria," Johnny said to me, taking a bite of his pizza.

"She normally spends time in the library but decided to join me today," Casadee said.

"Oh, well aren't you glad that you're here today since I decided to sit here too? I could definitely feel a vibe between us the last time we met," Johnny said.

"The only thing you felt was Matt dragging you away from her," Casadee said with a laugh.

"Yeah well, he always gets in the way of me chatting with the ladies," Johnny said.

"Or he's just saving those poor girls from listening to your nonsense," Casadee replied.

I couldn't help but laugh at that, earning looks from both Casadee and Johnny. They seemed rather pleased that I was laughing but I didn't know why. Casadee munched on some more Goldfish while Johnny continued chattering on about how he deserves to be in Avenged Sevenfold since he's more talented than Justin. I just listened, offering small comments here and there but letting Casadee and Johnny do most of the talking. It wasn't too long after we finished eating that Naoki joined the table, taking a seat beside me.

"I thought you were busy with the dance teacher," Casadee said.

"Oh, that sounds kind of kinky," Johnny said, looking at Naoki with intrigue.

Naoki looked like he didn't know what to say to Johnny since I'm sure they weren't well acquainted so he just ignored his statement and replied to Casadee's comment, "She just wanted to go over the schedule for the upcoming competition."

"When is it?" I asked him.

"Two weeks from now in Riverside," he replied, grabbing one of the cookies from my bag.

"You excited?" Casadee asked.

"I'm just looking forward to it. I got one of the leads in a routine so I'm trying to make sure I get the moves down perfect," he shrugged.

"Do we get a preview of the competitive routine?" I asked with a smile.

"Maybe," he said, also flashing a small smile. "if you're lucky."

"We better be lucky. I haven't seen you dance this year yet," Casadee said threateningly.

"That's just because he's always practicing," I told her. "He doesn't get the opportunity to show off his dancing skills."

"Well I expect to see something from you Mister," she said pointing at Naoki.

"Don't worry. I'll show you some of my moves," he grinned.

I glanced at the clock, noticing that there was only about twenty minutes left in the lunch period. I started wondering why I was here at all in the cafeteria since nothing major had happened. For a brief moment, I wondered if maybe Johnny was the one that slipped the note into my locker but dismissed that thought quickly since it didn't really match his personality. He would have confronted me directly rather than leave an anonymous note.

At that moment, I heard the PA system switch on over the loudspeakers of the cafeteria. Everyone looked toward the stage, expecting to see someone from the student council ready to make some kind of announcement but saw no one. I looked at Naoki curiously only to have him shrug his shoulders, not seeming to know what was going on either. I guess this wasn't a normal day-to-day occurrence for them in the cafeteria.

A familiar melody played on an acoustic guitar flooded the speakers all of a sudden, causing everyone to look around the cafeteria for the source.

"Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and I think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new. Flashback, warm nights; almost left behind. Suitcases of memories, time after..." a voice sang over the PA system. "Sometimes, you picture me. I'm walking so far ahead. You're calling to me. I can't hear what you said. And you say 'go slow' and I fall behind. The second hand unwinds."

The cafeteria was buzzing with excitement, trying to figure out who it was that was singing. People were standing on the benches of tables, trying to get a better view of the cafeteria to identify the mystery singer. I glanced over at Casadee and Johnny, noticing they were looking around as well.

"If you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting, time after time."

A shrill of excited cheerleaders seemed to bring everyone's attention to the back of the cafeteria. I squinted to try and see what the fuss was about when a huge smile broke out on my face.

Standing in the back of the cafeteria was Zacky Baker, strumming an acoustic guitar as he slowly started walking further inside the room. He was looking around the cafeteria, obviously searching for Casadee. He was the one that had invited me to the cafeteria today. He wanted me to see that he was actually going through with what I had told him to do, being exactly the man I thought he was.

I looked over at Casadee, seeing shock all over her face as she stared directly at Zacky. She looked like she didn't know what was going on but still overcome with many different emotions. Deciding to help her along and make her location more known to Zacky, I quickly got up and stood on the bench of our table, causing my three lunch time companions to look at me strangely. Naoki, however, quickly stood beside me, seeming to catch on to what I was doing.

Zacky noticed the two of us standing on the other side of the room, flashing a small smile as he began the second verse of the song, "After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray, watching through windows; you're wondering if I'm ok. Secrets are stolen from deep inside; the drum beats out of time…"

By this time, he was making his way over to us, never breaking contact with Casadee. Naoki and I got down and sat on the bench once again, smiling to one another about Zacky's gesture. Part of me couldn't believe that he was actually taking my advice and reenacting something from a romantic comedy but still, it was very sweet. It was the kind of thing that most girls wished would happen in their lifetime so I was glad Casadee was the one that was getting this.

"If you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting, time after time. If you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting, time after time," Zacky sang as he neared our table.

I looked over to where his friends were sitting and noticed that Matt was looking on with appreciation, seeming to approve of his friend's actions. Jimmy looked like he wasn't sure what was really going on while the girls that sat with them watched with starry eyes, probably wishing they were the ones being sung to. Brian was the only one at that table that seemed nonchalant about the event. He sat stoically, just watching without any kind of expression on his face as Zacky carried on playing.

He finally got down to where Casadee was sitting, kneeling down in front of her as she turned around to face her in her seat. She looked like she was close to crying while he just seemed happy that she was looking at him.

"And you say 'go slow' and I fall behind. The second hand unwinds. If you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting, time after time. And if you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting, time after time," he sang, looking at her as she started crying.

As he played the last chords of the song, the cafeteria seemed to explode into applause and cheering. Zacky carefully took off his guitar, handing it to Johnny, who was grinning widely at the guitarist. Zacky removed the stage microphone that the drama club used and scooted closer to Casadee, taking her hands in his. She looked up at him, smiling and trying to stop herself from crying anymore.

"Cas," he said quietly, wiping the fallen tears from her face with his thumb, "I'm sorry about last week. I love you and I don't want to lose you over something I said without thinking. I just want you to give me a second chance to show you I'm not the jerk you think I am," he explained lowly.

She laughed, wiping away more tears, "You idiot. How can I be mad at you after you did all that for me?"

Zacky seized her into a passionate kiss, earning more applause and cheering from the surrounding crowd. I couldn't help but smile at the two of them, glad that they had finally reconciled. I felt an arm placed around my shoulders and looked up at Naoki, noticing he was also smiling. I returned the half hug and leaned against him, feeling slightly envious that Casadee got serenaded in front of the whole school. She was definitely a lucky girl to snag a guy that was willing to look like a fool in front of everyone else just to win back his girlfriend.

"Zachary Baker," Mr. Jennings, one of the vice-principals, said sternly, causing Zacky and Casadee to pull away from each other, "you need to accompany me to my office so we can discuss your punishment."

Zacky stood up, kissing Casadee once again, "I'll see you later."

She smiled widely, nodding her head as he started walking to where Mr. Jennings was standing. Before he left, he instructed Johnny to return the guitar to the band room for him. As Zacky and the vice-principal walked through the cafeteria on the way towards the administration office, Zacky kept getting compliments from some of the jocks and a lot of the girls as he passed. He seemed to enjoy the attention he gained, since they weren't ridiculing him for singing a ridiculously romantic 80s song to his girlfriend in front of nearly the whole school.

Casadee slowly turned around so she was facing us once again, her expression still displaying shock and utter happiness. Johnny fiddled around with the guitar, playing a few chords as Naoki and I stared at Casadee with anticipation, expecting her to say something. After about a minute, she finally snapped herself out of her daze and looked at us with a large grin on her face.

"That's one way to start the weekend off," she said, regaining her composure.

"That's all you have to say after that ridiculous display of affection? Seriously?" I asked with shock.

"She's gone back to being 'tough', even though we now know she's a sucker for a man with a guitar singing Cyndi Lauper," Naoki said coolly, rolling his eyes.

"Like you could think of anything as romantic as that," Casadee replied, also rolling her eyes sarcastically.

I just shook my head at the two of them, knowing that things had returned back to normal for Casadee. I was happy that Zacky had taken my advice and it actually worked. Whatever happened next was up to them. My job with fixing their love lives was now complete. I could carry on with my normal routine of spending my days in the library away from everyone else.

The rest of the day pretty much dragged on after that. There was a lot of chatter about Zacky's lunch time antics and how many of the girls wished they had been on the receiving end of his affections rather than Casadee. I was tired of hearing about it after a while, wishing that this Friday didn't drudge on so slowly anymore. All I wanted was to head back home and draw since I missed out on it at lunch.

I took my time on the walk home, needing some time to myself before I was back in the Haners' home. I was actually hoping that the afternoon would be rather peaceful since Brian had band practice and probably wouldn't come back until late, which meant I didn't have to deal with him at all. Suzy had said something about taking McKenna to her parents' house in Long Beach and Brian Sr. Was out of town until Sunday for work. Since I knew that Malcolm was at the restaurant, I would have the house to myself for the majority of the afternoon, which was a very calming thought. Despite how much I liked the Haners, I was glad that I could veg out in front of the television before diving into my essay for the weekend.

Fifteen minutes later, I was walking through the front door of a silent house, smiling to myself as my eyes curiously danced around the vacant room. Deciding that I wanted something to snack on, I wandered towards the kitchen, dropping off my bag near the couch of the living room along the way. I also flipped the television on for background noise, settling on some random music channel that was playing 'Adam's Song'. I turned up the volume and headed to the kitchen in order to settle upon something to eat.

I pulled open the fridge, nodding my head along to the music as I scanned the shelves of food for something that sparked my interest. There was nothing in there that sounded appealing so I shut the door and decided that I would just settle for a plain PB&J rather than try and make something more complicated to eat. I didn't want to spoil my appetite come dinner time, since Suzy made the best dinners.

I aimlessly nodded my head along to the beat of the music from the other room, twirling around in the kitchen as I grabbed everything necessary to make a sandwich. I sang along to the Radiohead song that had began to play in the other room, rocking my body back and forth to the melodic guitar.

It was nearing four which meant that Toonami would be on so I could watch new episodes of anime shows on Cartoon Network. Even though I knew that I was too old to watch cartoons anymore, I couldn't help but want to sit down on Friday afternoon and watch Toonami. They played all of my old favorites like Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z that just brought me back to my childhood. Besides that, they were showing new episodes of a show called Cowboy Bebop that I was absolutely fascinated with. If I could draw anime the way they did on that show, I would give breaking into the artistic field a real shot.

The sound of the front door being slammed brought me out of my thoughts, making me turn around quickly to see who it was. My cheeks started reddening in embarrassment as I eyed the person I least wanted to see walking towards the kitchen. He wore that cocky smirk as usual, eyes piercing straight through me as I cleared my throat nervously.

"I thought you had band practice," I said quietly, looking back to the sandwich I was making.

"Zacky bailed on us so he could spend time with Casadee since they decided to make up after his stupid stunt in the cafeteria," Brian replied with a scoff, opening the door to the fridge.

"Oh," was all I said since I didn't want to object to his referring to Zacky's gesture as a 'stupid stunt'.

"Seriously, I don't know what he was thinking. That was the lamest thing I've ever seen and it was all just because he fought with Casadee about something completely meaningless," Brian continued, shutting the door to the fridge.

"I thought it was sweet," I mumbled lowly, placing the second slice of wheat bread on top of the other that was smothered in peanut butter and jelly.

He laughed, shaking his head as he hopped up on the counter beside me, "Well cuz of that stupid idea, he now has three weeks of after school detention, which means that our practice is pushed back now. Seriously, of all songs for him to pick, why'd he have to pick that corny-ass song?"

"Because it's Casadee's favorite," I said quietly, feeling his gaze shift towards me.

"So you knew he was gonna do this?" he asked in surprise.

"I had a rough idea," I said, deciding to omit the part about it being my idea.

"You gave him the idea, didn't you?" he asked point-blankly. I remained silent as I prepared another sandwich, trying to keep my eyes away from him. "You did. Where the hell did you come up with such a ridiculous idea?" he laughed.

"It's from a movie," I replied, still avoiding his gaze.

"Of course it is," he said, shaking his head with an exaggerated sigh. "Girls have such a distorted view of the way guys are and it's all because of those fucking romantic comedies. We're not romantic heroes with some kind of secret dark past. We don't really give a shit about feelings most of the time. They're not as important to us as those movies make them out to be."

I just remained silent as I fixed another sandwich, cutting off the crusts of this one. Once I finished, I put it onto a plate and left it where it was. I grabbed my first sandwich and glass of water and headed to the living room for my anime session. I set everything down on the coffee table, taking a seat on the carpeted floor in front of it and changed the channel.

"You forgot your sandwich!" Brian called from the kitchen.

"That's not mine!" I replied, taking a bite of the one I had in my hand, eyes remaining on the television screen.

As the opening song to Sailor Moon began, I nodded my head to the music, humming along. Just hearing the theme tune made me realize that this anime was too childish for me now, especially since it was dubbed in English, which just made it sound even more elementary than it was, but it didn't' really matter to me. There were way too many memories wrapped up with this anime, such as my mother promising to make me a Sailor Moon outfit for Halloween. The thought of my mom going through the trouble for my costume was enough to make me smile, even though she never got an opportunity to make it for me.

"What the hell are you watching?" Brian asked, plopping down on the couch behind me with his sandwich plate in hand.

I blushed; embarrassed that he was looking at my guilty pleasure. I sincerely forgot that he was in the house with me the moment I switched on my anime. I wound up too caught up in my own daydreams that I couldn't even remember that I shouldn't be in the living room. I should've gone up to my room instead.

"Um, Sailor Moon," I replied quietly, nibbling on my sandwich.

"Aren't you a little old to be watching cartoons?" he asked sarcastically as I lowered my head in shame.

I decided that the best course of action would be to keep my mouth shut and hope that he would get bored with the show and leave. Despite my 'flight' instinct kicking in and telling me to flee to the safety of my bedroom upstairs, I remained in my spot on the floor, eyes glued to the screen. I wasn't about to sacrifice my anime just because Brian Haner Jr had a problem with the material. I was determined to see the new episode of Cowboy Bebop, even if it meant watching the other shows before it and enduring Brian's wrath.

Nothing got in the way of my anime.

Ten minutes passed into the show when the first commercial break happened. I had finished my sandwich and was contemplating placing the plate in the kitchen before the show returned. Part of me didn't want to move because if I did, there was a high possibility I would just continue until I got upstairs to my bedroom and I didn't want to concede the television. I had been unfortunate in the fact that Brian didn't leave the room after a long silence. Instead, he was watching the show quietly from behind me, which made me feel even more anxious.

I couldn't really understand him these days. He made it clear on the day I walked into this house that he wanted nothing to do with me and yet, he sought out opportunities to talk to me and ridicule me. He went to awfully a lot of trouble to make my life hell and I couldn't understand why. I had told him that I no longer held a romantic interest in him and that I would stay away from him. His secret was safe with me so there was no need to worry about other's finding out about our living arrangements yet he kept hounding me about keeping it secret at any chance available. He was truly a confusing person.

"I don't understand what this is about," Brian said, breaking the silence and scaring me a bit, causing me to jump.

"What?" I asked, clutching my chest and trying to regain my composure.

"What exactly is this show about?" he asked, leaning forward so he was looking at me. "Explain."

"Um, well," I began nervously, looking away from him briefly as I thought of the simplest way to explain it to him, "basically, Serena is a high school student who transforms in to Sailor Moon in order to protect people from the forces of the Dark Kingdom. She's Princess of the Moon Kingdom in the 30th century but she was put on Earth by her mother in order to save her and she slowly begins to remember her old life as Princess and embraces her Sailor powers."

Brian nodded along, as if he were trying to comprehend what I just told him as I twiddled my thumbs together nervously. It felt weird explaining the show to him for some reason. Normally I had no problem explaining the synopsis of shows to Casadee or Naoki when they asked but with Brian, I just wasn't sure what kind of response I would gain from him.

"So then who's the guy?" he asked.

"Oh, that's Darien. He also has powers like going into Serena's dreams as Tuxedo Mask and fighting alongside her. They remember their life together as husband and wife in the future and wind up falling in love with each other all over again," I replied.

"So this is basically like a chick cartoon, isn't it?" he asked, looking rather bored with my explanations.

"Um, I guess you could call it that. It's mainly like Power Rangers but aimed towards girls. I really used to like this show when I was younger but I also liked Dragonball Z too and that was aimed towards boys mostly," I shrugged. "These days, I like anime aimed toward an older audience but it's still fun to watch things from the past and remember. I used to wish I was Sailor Moon sometimes. She was always my favorite superhero," I said, smiling as I thought back to the times where I would pretend to be Sailor Moon in my backyard.

Realizing what I had just said, I snapped myself out of my thoughts and looked at Brian warily, afraid I had made a fool of myself in front of him once again. He sat beside me on the couch, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the top of his thighs as he studied my face with a blank expression. I leaned back away from him, preparing myself the way I would if I felt as if I were going to get hit. I wasn't sure what his stare meant but I knew this behavior was completely unprecedented from the usual hostel behavior he's displayed around me.

"You're really into this stuff, aren't you?" he asked seriously, his gaze unmoving.

I shrugged in response, casting my eyes down to my lap where my fidgeting fingers lay, "Some girls like dressing up or playing with dolls. I always liked to draw and color instead. There's something about Japanese animation that just sparked my interest as a kid, probably because it was completely different from the other cartoons that were usually on TV. From the first moment I saw Sailor Moon on television, I wanted to draw characters like her. After that, I just started watching anything else that was available to me. After all these years of watching different shows, I can't help but love it all," I explained tentatively.

What happened next truly freaked me out more than anything else in the world. I hadn't really been expecting any kind of response from him at all since I sort of babbled on about nonsense he couldn't have been interested in. It was one of the last things I was expecting from him when I finally managed to look up at him.

Brian was smiling at me.

It wasn't the usual cocky smirk I was accustomed to seeing either; the one that sent chills up my spine because it was an indication that he had something mischievous running through his mind to torture me. This smile was a genuine smile; one of those smiles that attracted me to him in the first place. He looked gentle for the brief moment he flashed those pearly whites at me and that caught me completely off guard. The last thing I had expected from Brian Haner Jr was any signs of genuine kindness toward me. The moment had to be one of those fluke things.

I spent the rest of the time hugging my knees to my chest and keeping my eyes glued to the animated images on the screen. Brian would ask me a question every so often about what was going on, especially when Dragonball Z came on but other than that, we remained completely silent. There was no more personal conversation added in with the descriptions of the shows and he showed no signs of leaving any time soon. In fact, he seemed quite intrigued by Dragonball Z since it was more violent than the previous anime.

By the time Cowboy Bebop had started, I changed my position on the carpet, moving closer to the television. I watched in awe as the uniquely drawn outer space western flashed before my eyes, suddenly wishing that I could create a character as amazing as Spike Spiegel. I was disappointed that the show was dubbed, like the earlier shows but figured it was done to reach a wider audience. I was so captivated by the show, I completely tuned everything else out for half an hour, even ignoring Brian when he'd ask a question about something he didn't understand or make an unnecessary comment about Faye Valentine's scantily clad body.

The show was over as quickly as it came on, leaving me craving more. With my two hours of anime completely spent, I decided to retreat to my room since I had satisfied my need for animation. I picked up the dirty dishes from the table and headed into the kitchen, placing them in the sink before refilling my water cup. I could hear Brian channel surfing in the other room, rapidly changing ten channels in the time span that I had been in the kitchen.

As I headed for the stairs, the front door opened revealing Suzy carrying in the baby carrier with a fussy McKenna as well as a very full diaper bag. She appeared very tired as she set the bag down near the door, which made me move toward her so I could grab McKenna from the carrier. Brian remained unmoved from his spot on the couch, only watching with his eyes briefly as Suzy allowed me to pick up his baby half-sister.

"Well, it's rare to see you home so early on a Friday," Suzy said to Brian with a heaving sigh as she took a seat on the couch beside him.

"Practice was cancelled today since Zacky and Casadee made up," Brian replied emotionlessly.

"Well, that's good at least. Date night is definitely worth a cancelled practice," she smiled. "So, how was school today?" she asked.

"It was alright," Brian shrugged nonchalantly his eyes focused on the television.

"Alex?" Suzy asked with intrigue.

I readjusted McKenna in my arms, laughing a bit as she grabbed some of my hair with her tiny hands, "It was ok though I missed out on Calculus today to meet with the counselor about more college choices."

"Really? Do you qualify for more schools or are they trying to recruit you?" she asked.

"I think they're trying to recruit me but they're not really schools I had in mind so I'm not sure yet. I really want to see if I can get into an art program somewhere close but if not, I'm thinking about Stanford for an English degree. I need to be realistic about my dreams of being an artist," I explained rationally, removing my hair from the one year old's grip before she put it into her slobbering mouth.

"You shouldn't be so quick to give up on your dreams. You're still young. You have time to try things out before you decide to concede with pursuing art," Suzy pointed out. "I'm sure Lizzie would tell you to do what felt right to you rather than what was logical when it came to one of these big decisions."

I remained quiet, chewing over the phrase my mother often used when faced with a difficult decision. Both she and Malcolm were firm believers in pursuing whatever made them happy rather than doing what everyone else thought was "right" and had no regrets. Part of me wished I had the confidence in myself as well as the courage to live my life the way they do but with everyone from teachers to colleges pressuring me to make decisions that would affect the rest of my life forever, I felt smothered.

Suzy pushed herself off the couch, heading towards the kitchen as I made myself comfortable in the arm chair, placing McKenna in my lap as I bounced her gently on my leg. She laughed as I made silly noises with my mouth to entertain her, which set my mind at ease. I glanced up at Brian who had been watching me from the corner of his eye. He looked away the moment he noticed I was looking in his direction, making me wonder what was possibly running though his mind. For a moment there, I nearly thought I had caught onto him smiling a genuine smile once again but dismissed the thought as quickly as it appeared in my mind.

"Ok since it's Friday night and I don't really feel like cooking tonight, I'm going to order pizza. What do you guy want on it?" Suzy asked loudly from the kitchen.

"I'm ok with whatever. I'm not too picky," I replied loud enough for her to hear me.

"Alright I'll get a pepperoni and a combination then. Brian, do you want anything special on the pizza?" Suzy asked, leaning in the entryway of the kitchen with the cordless white phone in hand, ready to dial the number.

"I'm fine with pepperoni," he replied.

"Alright. You're gonna need to pick it up though," Suzy said as she dialed the number.

"Aw, seriously?" Brian whined, making me crack a smile of laughter at how childish he sounded.

"Well, I need to give McKenna her dinner and bath so she can get to bed early tonight. She didn't nap today so I know she's getting cranky because she's tired. I'll give you the cash for the food and if you want, you can head over to Blockbuster and get a couple of movies for the night as well," she offered. "Yes, hi. I would like to place an order for one large combina-..." she trailed off as she walked into the kitchen, speaking to the pizza place employee on the other line.

Brian sunk down into the couch, sulking as he started flipping channels on the television once again. I got the feeling that he didn't really like being the errand runner of the family but at the same time, he had no choice. I couldn't drive otherwise I'd do it myself. Suzy needed to tend to McKenna and I'm sure the last thing Suzy wanted to do on top of that was go out and pick up the food after a long day of running errands and visiting with her family.

Suzy walked back into the living room a few minutes later, hanging up the phone and carrying her wallet in her right hand. She pulled out a couple of twenties and handed them to Brian when she was close enough.

"I can't carry all the food and the movies in myself," Brian said.

"Alex, would you go with Brian so you could help?" Suzy asked me, making my eyes go wide as I was caught off guard by the request.

I wanted to say no since I wanted to get as far away from Brian as possible, especially after the weird afternoon of occasional anime chatter and awkward silences. The last thing I wanted on a Friday night of freedom was to be in a car with Brian with more strained, occasional conversation sandwiched between the long, awkward silences but I figured since there was no one else available to go, I would have to tag along.

"Sure, I'll go," I replied quietly, looking down at McKenna as she clapped her hands together.

"Great. You're both my lifesavers," Suzy smiled widely, picking McKenna up from my lap and cradling her close to her body. "I'm gonna go feed her now. They said the pizza would be ready in twenty minutes so that gives you plenty of time to pick some movies. Make sure you get at least one comedy please. I don't want to watch zombie movies all night long," Suzy added.

"Got it," Brian replied, shutting off the television.

He pushed himself up from the couch as Suzy and McKenna headed into the kitchen. I quietly followed him out of the house and towards his truck, climbing into the passenger's seat and buckling up. I leaned my head against the back of the seat comfortably, staring out of the window as Brian started up the engine, loud, guttural screaming and screeching guitars blaring through the speakers at an intolerable volume. Brian immediately turned the volume down, changing to the radio station rather than the CD with the loud music.

'Champagne Supernova' suddenly began to play through the speaker system, causing me to glance at the radio as soon as the opening guitar chords strummed. I smiled to myself, unconsciously reaching for the volume on the stereo as Brian eyed me weirdly. I didn't really mind since this was one of my favorite songs. Once the volume was at a loud enough level, I leaned back and resumed staring out the window at the scenery passing by. Something about Oasis calmed me down, especially after a stressful day like today.

"Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide in a Champagne Supernova in the sky. Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide in a Champagne Supernova, a Champagne Supernova in the sky," I sang along quietly, shutting my eyes as the slow melody sank into my mind.

I could feel Brian's eyes occasionally staring intensely at me though I couldn't really be bothered to acknowledge him. My mind began to wander to thoughts of a Champagne Supernova flying over a palace made of fluffy white clouds with a pastel palette blending together like an oil painting. I realized as I imagined this fantastical scenery that I hadn't drawn at all today like I had originally planned on doing. Instead, I let my desire to watch old and new anime take over. Suddenly I wished I had a sketch pad or a canvas of some sort. I really wanted to capture the scene that had been running through my head.

Brian parked somewhere between the Round Table and Blockbuster so we could easily walk to both places. I hopped out of the car and slowly followed a good distance behind him, just in case there were people out that would recognize us from school. I didn't want to be blamed for trying to fit in with one of the kings of the school nor did I want any crap from Brian about how we looked to other people.

"So, what do you want?" Brian asked quietly as we stood near the previously viewed videos for sale.

I shrugged casually, keeping my gaze down as I replied, "I'm not too phased. Anything is ok."

Brian walked off in search of videos for the night while I decided to browse around in the animation section, checking to see if they had a copy of Princess Mononoke since my copy had been ruined in the flood. As I looked through the different titles to a few familiar series, I began to wonder if one day, I might see something that I was a part of on one of these shelves. The thought of fulfilling my dream and becoming an artist in the manga/animation field filled me with a giddy sense of happiness. Maybe Suzy was right. Fulfilling my dreams might be the step in the right direction for me.

After a small disappointment in the discovery that Princess Mononoke had been checked out already, I decided to wander back towards the front to wait for Brian. Thought Suzy was thinking of watching movies tonight, I thought I would probably just head up to my room after dinner and get the jumpstart on my Shakespeare essay. I figured it'd be better for me to be productive while attempting to evade another awkward encounter with Brian and silence. Though he seemed to be opening up bit by bit, I had to keep my guard up. At any moment he could become a malicious devil, hell bent on making my stay in his house completely miserable.

A small elbow nudge gained my attention as I looked over at the guilty party responsible. Brian was grinning that evil grin of his as he held out the movie choices of zombie movies and an Adam Sandler movie as the comedy switch. He seemed quite proud of his choices, though I wasn't a big fan of horror films, so I just weakly smiled at him, not wanting to say anything about my queasiness when it came to watching gore.

"So, you didn't find anything you wanted?" he asked in a bored tone, almost as if he didn't care.

"The movie I wanted was already checked out so no, there was nothing else of interest to me.," I shrugged.

"What movie was that?" he asked in the same tone as before.

"Just an anime film. It's no big deal," I replied, shaking my head. "Look, I'm just gonna wait outside for you while you pay," I told him, pointing towards the window that showed the main street we were parked on.

"Alright," he said with a slight nod.

I walked out of Blockbuster, looking up at the burnt orange sky and sighed. The sun was setting over Huntington, cooling the air as a chilled breeze rolled in from the ocean, filling Main Street with the faintest smell of the sea salt from the ocean waters. For an autumn night, it was still rather warm but then again, in Southern California, it rarely got cold. For most, tonight would be considered a nice night to go out.

Friday nights on Main Street in Huntington were usually busy with many people out for dates or doing activities that were available. People flocked in from the beach to the restaurants for a quick bite to eat or headed over to the cinema to catch the latest weekend release at the movies. I would often see couples walking along the streets, hand-in-hand as they window shopped, and wondered if I would get the opportunity to experience something like that.

I hadn't gone on a date before. The only things I knew about what people did on dates came from watching movies or listening to Casadee describe her evenings with Zacky. I would see girls from school chatting happily to their friends about how one of the guys had asked them out for the night and feel slightly envious. I thought that just once in my whole high school life, I should get to experience a real date, even if it isn't idyllic. I just wanted the experiences every other normal high school girl had.

Another nudge from Brian's elbow knocked me out of my thoughts as I looked over at him. He was holding the bag of videos and studying the dazed expression on my face with curiosity. I looked away, biting my bottom lip nervously as he headed back to his truck. I followed quietly, wondering how many more times I could make myself look like a fool in front of him today.

He dropped the movies off in his truck and walked with me to Round Table without a single word. Even in the silence between us, I couldn't help but feel anxious around him. When he spoke to me, I felt anxious because I just wanted to get as far away from his negative force as possible but when there was silence, I was anxious to say something. Silence always compelled me to want to speak, even if there was nothing to talk about. There was something even darker about Brian when he remained silent, like he was thinking of some kind of terrible plan that involved torment. It wasn't long ago I used to think of him as someone that seemed like a nice guy.

Everything seemed to change very quickly now.

"What was the name of the movie you were looking for?" Brian asked, glancing over his shoulder at me.

"Oh, um, it's called Princess Mononoke. It's by an artist named Hayao Miyazaki. He's like the Walt Disney of Japanese animation," I said, pushing my glasses further up the bridge of my nose.

"They had the copy behind the desk so I got it for you," he said.

"But how did you know that was the one I wanted?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"When I asked the guy at the checkout desk, he said that there was only one return of an anime movie and it was that one. There isn't much demand for Japanese animation videos in Huntington," he explained.

I couldn't help but smile at Brian's kind gesture. It was stuff like this that reminded me of the reason that I had a crush on him for the majority of my years at Huntington High. He always seemed like a nice guy, especially with the little things he would do for other students on occasion. It was such a shock to discover that he wasn't really as nice as I thought he was. Part of me wondered if I had created a version of him that suited my own desires; my own idyllic crush that fulfilled the ideas that I had about what love should be. As I grew older, I realized that with more experience of the world, things were radically different from what I pictured as a child.

We walked into Round Table and hopped into the line. I stood next to Brian but still slightly behind him, trying to stay conscious of how we appeared to other people. Brian was complaining about how much he hated picking up pizza on Friday nights because it was so busy while I listened. I didn't have much to say in response that would sound like sympathy since I didn't really have the experience so I just nodded along every so often so he would know I was engaged in the conversation.

"Hey Brian!" I heard someone call from behind us.

Brian and I turned our heads only to see Richard, one of the guys from the baseball team, sitting at a table with a few other team members and their girlfriends. Brian seemed a little stunned to see them, quickly looking at me with a panic. Richard walked over to him in the line, doing the handshake hug thing that guys usually did.

"Hey man. What're you doing here?" Brian asked, sounding a little shaky.

"A bunch of us decided to get something to eat before Whitney's party tonight. What about you? I thought you were practicing with the other guys tonight," Richard said.

"Well, it got cancelled since Zacky decided to ditch us for Casadee," Brian replied.

"Oh yeah. I couldn't believe the shit he did at lunch today. Seriously, he could get hotter girls than Casadee any time. Why waste the time with her?" Richard scoffed.

I felt an urge to punch Richard in the face for talking about Casadee like that. Surely he didn't know her like I did because otherwise, he wouldn't have suggested that she was below par for someone like Zacky. I knew that Zacky was insanely popular and appearance was everything to people at school but there had to be a reason he picked Casadee as a girlfriend aside from how beautiful she looked. He wouldn't have asked me for help to make up with Casadee if she was just another one of those dumb cheerleaders that threw themselves at his feet.

"She's actually pretty cool. I wouldn't have done something insane like that for a chick though," Brian commented.

Richard glanced at me, looking between Brian and me with confusion. I could tell he was trying to figure out whether we were standing together or not so I wracked my brain for some kind of solution out of this. I didn't want Brian to kill me later for affecting his reputation at school by being seen with me.

As a customer rounded the corner with a large key ring in hand, genius suddenly struck me with an idea. I stepped out of the line and walked up to the counter, asking for the key to the restroom, which the employee was happy to give me. I glanced behind me at Brian before rounding the corner to the bathroom, noticing he seemed relieved that I was leaving.

"Dude, wasn't that the chick that you totally made fun of when she asked you out?" I heard Richard ask with a laugh.

"Oh yeah, that's the dork," Brian said.

"Man, maybe she's stalking you or something now. That would be freaky," Richard said as he and Brian laughed.

I continued walking to the bathroom, stepping inside and locking to door behind me with a loud sigh. I leaned against the door as the feeling of humiliation and heartbreak washed over me with the reminder of my harsh rejection from him. I hadn't realized that he told other people aside from his band mates about what had happened that day. To everyone else at school, I was nothing more than a walking joke either because I was just a huge nerd or because I was the girl that got laughed at by Brian Haner for admitting that I had liked him.

I quickly washed my hands, trying not to let the negative feelings take over too much before walking out of the bathroom, key in hand. I passed the ring back to the cashier, noticing that Brian had moved over to the table where the other baseball players were sitting. He held the pizza boxes in hand as they laughed and talked about something that I couldn't make out over the music and excess chatter around me.

Deciding it was better to wait for him by the truck, I headed out of the restaurant, walking along the sidewalk with my head hung low. The more I tried to shake the negative feelings away, the stronger they became. Normally I wasn't the kind of person that let things bother me too much since nothing more came from it but a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach but there was just something in the way that Brian had laughed with Richard. After all the things today that made me slightly rethink his cruel nature, I realized that in public, we could never be friends. Even if we lived together and got along for the most part, that would never become a reality outside of the house because he cared way too much about what people thought of him.

Only a few moments had passed from the time I reached the truck and allowed myself to stare off at the pastel horizon when Brian finally came back. He unlocked the doors to the automobile, walking around to the driver's side as I slide into my seat without a word. He placed the pizza boxes in between us as I buckled my seatbelt. I leaned my head against the window, looking out at the street as he started the car, heavy drums and a mellow guitar sound flowing from the speakers.

"Thanks," Brian said out of nowhere, gaining my attention.

"For what?" I asked plainly, looking at him curiously.

"You know, for earlier. Leaving like that," he said awkwardly.

"It's no big deal. I know you don't want people knowing that I live with you so I decided to leave so there wouldn't be an awkward conversation," I shrugged.

"Well still, I, uh, I appreciate it," he said, clearing his throat.

I offered him a weak smile in response before returning my gaze back out the window. As we continued the drive, nothing more was said. I couldn't help but think of how all the times I was trapped in a car with Brian turned out to be awkward and silent. After a day like today where things had just been unexpected, I wondered how much longer it would be until my house was done. I really needed a place I could escape to without interfering with Brian and his life. I wanted my own life back.