Trust.

I decided on my house, because I honestly had no idea where else to go. When we arrived my mother could be seen through the kitchen window. I felt her eyes on me and knew that as soon as Allister left, she’d flip. I mean flip in a good way.

I opened my front door for him and Allister flushed as he scurried inside. Really, it suited him, that light pink just made him look better…I mean…it’s just…a nice color on him or something…Damn it.

“Hi sweetie!” Mother squeaked happily, her grin widening when she saw Allister who was, in my opinion, standing a little too closer. “Who is this?”

“Allister,” I answered, wondering if I should move away, but if I did that wouldn’t it look more suspicious? Not that my mother should have suspicions. I don’t have friends, let alone date. That just doesn’t happen. “This is my mother, Molly.”

“N-nice to m-meet you,” he stuck out his hand, but my mother pulled him in for a hug instead. When she let him go she eyed me with a huge grin that I glared at. She better not be thinking anything…

After her meeting Allister the two of us went upstairs to my room, which was still affably plain. Allister didn’t ask anything about it though, which I was thankful for. I wouldn’t want to try and explain it to him without telling him the truth.

One thing I don’t like is lying to others. I try my best not to do it, but I’m human. Lies come out every now and than.

“Your m-mom is r-really nice.”

“I know.” I took a seat on my bed, patting it to show that Allister was allowed to sit on it. He smiled and kicked off his shoes before crawling on top of it and lying on his stomach so he was facing me.

Randomly he asked me, “What’s your favorite color?”

I gave him a strange look. “Green.”

“Favorite past time?”

“Listening to music.”

“Food?”

“What is this, 20 questions?”

Allister pouteddamn he’s cute and mumbled, “I just…w-wanted to g-get to know you is a-all.”

“So it’s 20 questions.”

“If you want to call it that.” Allister re-adjusted himself so he was sitting Indian style now. I felt his knee brush against my thigh and damn it, there it was again. The chill that ran through my veins and it was really starting to annoy me.

“Doesn’t that mean I get to ask you questions as well?” I smirked at the wide eyes he gave me. He looked like a deer caught in head lights. It was pretty amusing.

“I-If you want…”

“Ok, you used two of yours so it’s my turn. Do you have siblings?”

“Yeah, a little sister.”

“What color are your boxers?”

I loved the way his face brightened and he sputtered, “B-Blue…”

I chuckled, “Your turn.”

“Why d-did you move h-here?”

I was fearing that, that he’d ask something personal that I cannot answer. I didn’t mean to, but I glared angrily at him and he scooted back in fear. With his head bowed he whispered, “I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to m-make you angry.”

“Than maybe you should have used your brain and not ask.” My voice rose with every word until I finally shouted, causing him to flinch.

Did he honestly think he knew me well enough to ask something like that? I would have been fine if he asked some other pointless things, like how many shoes I have or something, but that is obviously something personal that he does not have the right to know about.

He didn’t know that though…some people just move because they have to or they want to…so I guess he didn’t mean to make me angry.

Ok, why am I arguing with myself? A second ago wasn’t I just yelling at him because of that and now I’m defending him? Fuck, I’m such a dumb ass.

Sighing, I reached out my hand, my fingers ghosting his cheek. The skin felt warm and soft, I was tempted to keep my fingers there, but if I did that it’d be extremely weird so I pulled my hand away before I did something I didn’t mean to.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to shout,” I grumbled, not wanting to apologize. I don’t apologize. I don’t say ‘I’m sorry’ it just isn’t the way I roll and Allister is no exception to that. “Just…don’t ask that again.”

Allister squirmed and for a moment I thought he was going to just get up and leave. Instead he looked up at me with slightly watery eyes that made me feel even more shitty if that’s possible. I frowned and once again I was tempted to touch him, but I couldn’t.

Every time we did touch my senses went wild. I didn’t like the feeling I got, it was odd, it was different. I didn’t want or appreciate it so the best way to not get that feeling is to not touch him, right?

“I-I’m sorry…I d-didn’t mean to make you m-mad I w-won’t ask again,” he squeaked out, his arm coming up to wipe lightly at his eyes.

I nodded my head and tried to change the atmosphere by throwing in a movie. Like I’ve been saying, socializing is not something I’m an expert at so I had no idea how to make this better. A movie popped into my mind first because, honestly, who doesn’t like watching a movie every now and than?

I had no idea what I had put in until it was too late.

Five minutes into the movie and Allister was already terrified. He squeaked and jumped into my side, his arms wrapping around me, squeezing me entirely too close to him. Every time I blinked I imagined him going to stab me or the back.

We were becoming too close. I was making him think that we were friends. I was making him think that I trusted him when I don’t. I just don’t. I keep imagining him turning away, laughing in my face, treating me like shit. I keep imagining him walking away, but why that mattered to me I don’t know.

I don’t know why thinking that made my chest hurt. All I know is that it did, it hurt to think of him betraying me.

I tried to push those thoughts away. I kept my eyes on the TV screen and it did help. Eventually I forgot all about that and I began concentrating on the way his breath hit my neck every time he exhaled. I could feel the chills running through out my entire body because of how close he was.

Damn it…why is he making me feel like this?