Trust.

Other than the roar of the engine and the other cars around us, the car ride was silent. Allister sat beside me, hands folded in his lap, shredding a piece of paper he had gotten from his bag. I sat in the drivers seat, eyes focused on the road and hands gripping the steering wheel.

It didn’t take long for us to reach my house. I parked the car and quietly the two of us went inside, not sharing a word. The atmosphere was tense and we both knew why.

I opened the door to my room and Allister shrunk past me. There it was again, that tug of guilt. It felt horrible. I made a mental note never to hurt Allister’s feelings ever again, because this pain eating away at me was by far the most painful thing I’ve ever felt.

It hurt worse than when I learned that dad had betrayed us, and that’s saying something.

“Listen, Allister,” I mumbled, shutting the door behind me and glancing at Allister who was sitting on my bed, head hanging and staring at his feet. “I…what happened Saturday, I didn’t mean to run off like that.”

“Yes you did…if you d-didn’t mean to you w-wouldn’t have d-done it.”

It almost sounded like he had snapped at me, but he had every right to. I sighed and walked over to my window. I sat on the edge of it and stared outside at the passing cars and took in a deep breath…

I never planned on doing this. I never thought I would be doing this. I thought this was going to stay inside me forever. I never thought I was going to speak this out loud, to explain this to everyone, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Allister has done some strange things to me.

“My family was always perfect. I had a wonderful, beautiful mother who cared and took care of me. I had a cheerful, fun dad who used to take me to the park and spoil me to death. I had the perfect family. We were always smiling, laughing…we were happy.”

I could feel the anger boiling within my stomach. It was bubbling over, ready to shoot up and out of my chest, but I held it in and breathed out to continue my story.

“I never saw it coming. I didn’t expect it, but it happened. I was only 10 when I learned that my dad was a liar. He had cheated on my mother with another woman and…I never thought it’d happen. He had betrayed us. He had made it seem like he loved us, that he actually gave a damn about us! He lied and left us for that…that little slut! He left me, he left mom, never to be heard of again!”

“He left me, his own son. His own blood for some stupid woman. He made me think that he was a good dad, that he was trustworthy when he was so obviously wasn’t. I was so stupid! So fucking stupid, and I cant’ believe I ever believed in him or trusted that selfish bastard! I…I shouldn’t have…and I learned my lesson. I learned not to trust anyone, not to believe in anyone. I learned not to make friends because in the end you can’t trust them.”

I took in a deep breath once more. I didn’t mean to shout, but thinking about that asshole made my blood boil. I ran a hand through my hair and looked back to see Allister watching me. He was frowning as I spoke, “I don’t trust anyone. It’s how I’ve always been, but…you make me want to change that.”

Allister looked shocked. His eyes grew wide and jaw became slack. I watched as he shrunk and squirmed in his seat before asking, “E-Excuse me?”

“You really are special Allister,” I chuckled, getting to my feet to cross my room. Allister watched me the entire way and when I took my seat next to him I heard his breath hitch. “You…make me feel like I want to trust again, to make friends, to…believe that there are some good people out there. You make me feel a lot of different things that I never thought I would feel…you’re just amazing, Allister.”

“No I’m n-not,” he stutter shyly, cheeks flushing that beautiful pink that made my heart soar upwards into my throat where it screamed as loudly as it could kiss him.

Why would I not listen to it? I’ve learned that it always knows best so I did exactly what it said.

I placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in to run my lips across his. It was just as amazing and powerful as the first one we shared only this time when I pulled away neither of us ran, but instead leaned in for another.

His arms wrapped around my neck as mine snaked around his thin waist so I could pull him closer, to hold him. We deepened the kiss, but it was nothing more than that, a peck of the lips, although I wanted to do so much more there was no way I’d make Allister do that. He’s far too sweet and I’ve decided I’ll go at his own pace.

When we pulled apart I could feel his pants on my lips. It seemed like we were making out for hours when in reality we had simply kissed for about three minutes. It was just that amazing, that breath taking.

“I’m sorry for making you cry,” I mumbled against his plump lips.

“I-It’s ok…you w-were just confused. I d-don’t blame you.”

I chuckled. “You’re too nice to me. Yell at me for once will you?”

He flushed and played with my hair. “I…uh…I c-can’t.”

I rolled my eyes and kissed his nose. He looked so cute when he wrinkled it up like that. Sighing, I rested my forehead against his own and rub his back. “You know what this means right?”

“What?” He asked curiously.

“That you’re mine and you can’t get rid of me.”

“I’m o-ok with that.”