Behind the Curtain

“Come on girls! Your time is now. Focus and do your breathing. Get into your characters. Become them.” I listened quietly as my director spoke to the cast, pacing back and forth in front of us. The dark walls echoed her voice back at us and seemed to be pressing in at the same time. The tension that now reverberated in the black box (a/n in case anyone doesn’t know, black box is a place used for more intimate shows) as we all tried to find our centers, both as individual characters and as a cast, was so dense it felt as if we were all swimming through it.
“Come on, guys. This is our show. Live it.” She left us with her customary tag line, turning on her too high heel and exiting the room through the heavy door. We all clapped and calmly walked to form a circle.
“Okay, everybody. We gotta do this right. This is Opening Night but no matter what happens, we can’t screw up. If you miss your lines, somebody will cover you. If you miss your entrance… well… don’t miss your entrance. This is our night. This is us.” I stood in my place and let Lulu’s words hit me hard. This is us. “Now close your eyes. It goes around once. You’ve got one shot. Better blow it up.” The eyes of the entire cast closed as if on cue and Lulu gave the first squeeze to Elinor. It was passed around until it met my firm grasp then continued on through me and to the next person until Lulu started clapping.
“Blow it, baby.” She said before turning on her heel and walking out the same door as Ms. Deems had, her flouncy dress swaying with her hips and her ginger red wig bouncing along with each stride.
Lulu was the theater goddess of East Valley High. She was tall, intimidating, completely gorgeous and everything I wanted to be. She was a senior, valedictorian, the lead in most plays, had a quarterback boyfriend and was one of the best vocalists I had ever heard. And she scared the shit out of me.
Roxxie Lovvett. Age sixteen. Sophmore at East Valley High. Beta lead in the show. I was everything that, at my age, Lulu wasn’t. I had dark hair and ice blue eyes. I wore skinny jeans and band tees. I had piercings and one tattoo. I got mostly A’s and B’s but those often dropped during theater season. I had had two boyfriends, both of which had been skaters. I had friends and was intimidating, sure, but I was nothing near Lulu.
And that’s what made her hate me so much.
I was so different then she was yet we were in the same position. She was the lead. I was the beta. She was going off to Julliard. I was being offered scholarships to colleges all over the country. She was the typical blonde prep. I was the unlikely scene girl.
We were different and, at first, I thought that that was what made us so opposite. At first, I thought that that was why she didn’t like me. At first, I thought that that was reason enough not to give her a chance. Not to care.
At first, I had no idea what I was doing.
At first, she did.