Catch Me

I can't slow down.
I have to get away.
This can't be happening
I have to keep running.

Earlier that night...

"I can't believe we've been together for so long!" I said to my boyfriend of three years. We are currently sitting in his car on our way to our favorite restaurant to celebrate our three year anniversary.
He looked over at me and smiled. His smile made my knees weak. Literally, made me weak. He has the best smile.
"Sheesh, Char, What do you mean by that? Did you think we wouldn't be able to last through anything?" he joked. I giggled and playfully hit his arm. Char is his nick name for me, but most call me Charlotte.
"Nope Josh, I didn't" I joked back.
He just shook his head and kept driving.
A silence fell between us, but it was a comfortable silence.
I was watching out the window while he held my hand.
I was thinking about everything we had been through together. We had been through so much.
Even break-ups.
But, he always knew what to say and what to do to fix everything. He always knew how to make everything better.
I thought back to our first fight.

"I can't believe you're not coming with me!" I shouted at Josh. We were standing outside my house after he came over for dinner. He was there to comfort me because my grandma had just died. It was getting late, and we were arguing about him leaving on vacation.
I could see him getting angrier, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe he was leaving me at a time like this.
"Char, I can't be there. I'm leaving tonight to go on vacation with my family." He said for the fifth time, I could see that he was trying to remain calm, but he wasn't going to be able to hold himself back for much longer.
"Well, that's great! You have fun on your vacation, while I go to my grandma's funeral!" I shouted back at him.

He let out a breath that he was holding, and sighed.
"I'm sorry that I can't be here to help you through this. I wish I could be, but I just can't stay behind. My parents have been planning this vacation for over a year, and even if I begged them to let me stay, they would never let me. I'm so sorry." He said pleading with me to understand. I was still too upset to accept an answer like that.
"No, you're not sorry. If you were, you wouldn't care what your parents say and you would stay behind to be there for me, but I guess you don't actually care about me!" I yelled and turned away from him and ran. I didn't even look back at him, I just ran. I ran as fast as I could. I could hear him calling out for me to stop. But, I didn't care. I wasn't going to stop. I wanted to run away from him, from my pain, from everything.
I ran for what seemed like forever, but found myself at the park in the center of town.
It was completely empty. I guess it was because it was getting late. I made my way over to the tube slide. I wanted to hide myself from the world. I climbed my way half up the slide so that I was laying in the tube and no one could see me. I was alone.

As I laid there, I couldn't help but let my emotions take over. I began to sob. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I was so upset about my grandma dying. I already missed her so much. I was so close with her and now she is gone, forever. And my boyfriend was leaving me when I needed him the most. I couldn't feel anymore alone. I had no one. My parents were there, but I never really got along with them. They just don't understand me. And I'm an only child, so there is no one else at home except me. Im so alone. I had never felt so stranded and desperate. My eyes were burning from all the tears, but I continued to cry.
I was crying so hard, that I didn't hear someone walking over to me. I only realized someone else was in the park when I heard someone call my name up from the bottom of the slide.
"Char, is that you?" It was Josh.

I tried to wipe my eyes and control myself so he wouldn't know I was crying.
"Go away!" I managed to get out. But, he didn't listen. I felt vibrations in the slide, which meant he was climbing up. I tried to move up the slide to the top. As I reached the top, I climbed unto ledge of the slide, to the platform of the playground. But, I didn't see that Josh was right behind me. As soon as I stood up, he climbed out of the top of the slide too. As he stood up, I saw how close he was and tried to run away, but I couldn't. He grabbed my arm begging me to wait. I tried to get out of his grasp, but I couldn't. I was too exhausted and he was just too strong. He pulled me into him. I tried to get away, but he wouldn't let me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. I squirmed and wiggled trying to break free.

"No, let me go! I don't want to be near you!" I begged him to let me go. But he wouldn't. He just held me tighter.
"Shhh. Calm down, Char." He whispered in my ear.
I tried to get away, but he was too strong. I just gave up and gave into him. He felt me stop resisting and held me even closer. I began to sob again. He felt me collapse into him and he sat down on the platform with me in his arms. He just held me while I broke down in front of him. He rubbed calming circles on my back letting me cry everything out.
As he held me and whispered soothing things in my ear, I began to calm down. I soon stopped crying and just laid in his embrace. He sat there in silence as he combed my hair with his hand. I looked up at him and saw a sadness in his eyes. "Why are you upset?" I asked as he looked down at me.

He sighed and looked into my eyes. I could see every color in his eyes.
"Char, I can't describe to you how sorry I am about everything, I hate seeing you so upset, and I wish I could be here to help you through it. I care about you so much. I want to stay behind. I just can't. I want you to understand, that even though I can't be here with you, I will be thinking about you every minute that I am gone." I can see the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn't lying, he wasn't telling me a story. He really cared.
"I believe you." I said as I looked up to him and gave him a small smile.
He smiled down at me with a much bigger smile. He knew that I wasn't angry at him anymore. I was upset, but there was no reason for taking it out on him.
"I'm sorry that I took it out on you. It's not your fault. I want you to go on your vacation, and have a wonderful time!' I said to him, trying to smile bigger.
"Thank you for understanding. I will try to have a good time, but know that I will be thinking about you all the time, and that you can call me anytime if you wanna talk. I will miss you so much!"
"I will miss you too." I said as I sat up so we were face to face. His hands found the sides of my face and he gently pulled me towards him. His lips met with mine. As soon as they touched, I forgot about the pain I was feeling. It was like he could melt it all away with one kiss. It was amazing. Our lips parted and he looked at me with another on of his smiles. I couldn't help but give him a real smile back. We sat there for a few minutes before we had to get up and get back to our houses. After all, he was leaving for vacation in just a couple of hours. We got up and he walked me home, before making his way back to his house to get ready to leave.

I smiled as I remember our fight. From that day on, I knew he was one of the most amazing people on this planet.
I was pulled away from my flashback when I saw that we were pulling into the restaurant.
Josh found a parking spot and climbed out of the car. He made his way around the car and over to my door and opened it for me. He is such a gentleman. He escorted me into the restaurant and we got in right away, because, of course he called ahead and made reservations.

We had a wonderful dinner reminiscing on the different times in our relationship. After we shared our dessert, he paid for the meals and we made our way back out to the car. He lead me to my door and helped me in. Then made his way to his side and climbed in. As he started the car, he looked over at me and smiled. He grabbed my hand to hold while he drove us back.

As we drove back to my house, we were sitting again without talking, but comfortably listening to the soft music of the radio. As we passed that old park of our first fight, a song came on the radio. It was a song that was the cause of yet, another one of our fights that happened about a year after we had been dating.

I was standing at the food table at our homecoming dance. I was waiting for Josh to come back. He said he had to use the bathroom and that he'd be right back. It's been like ten minutes, and he's not back yet. I started to walk around and look for him. I saw one of his friends talking with a group of a few other students. I made my way over to him to ask if he knew were Josh was. I approached him and tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around.

"Oh, hey Charlotte. What's happening?" Koby asked.
"Hey, Koby, not much. I was just wondering if you had seen Josh. He said he needed to use the bathroom a while ago and now I can't find him." I said. Just as I said that, they announced that the last slow song of the night was being played, so we should find a partner and get on the dance floor.
"Sorry, I haven't seen him since he first walked in, but if I do see him, I'll tell him you're looking for him." He responded.
"Ok, thanks!" I said as I became anxious. We haven't slow danced all night and he promised me he would dance with me. I started to walk away from Koby to continue my search, but Koby stopped me before I got too far.
"Wait, I can see him over there." He pointed to the dance floor. I looked over in the direction he was pointing and saw Josh slow dancing. He was slow dancing with one of the slutty cheerleaders. I didn't know what to do. I was hurt and angry all at once.

I went over to the punch table and got myself full glass of whatever flavor punch they had. Then, I made my way through the crowd of couples over to where Josh and the cheerleader was dancing.
I tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around. When he turned around and saw it was me, I could see the pain in his eyes.
"Char, I can explai..." I cut him off.
'HOW COULD YOU!" I exclaimed as I poured the punch over his head. I threw the cup on the ground and made my way back through the crowd and ran out of the gymnasium and out to the street.

I can't believe him. Why would he do that to me? I thought he really cared about me.
I didn't want to think about it anymore, so I began to run. I ran as fast as I could in my high heels and dress. Whenever I felt sad or upset, I just wanted to run away from everything. So, that's what I did. I ran a few blocks away and found a small cafe. I decided to go inside and get something and maybe I would calm down. Plus cafe's usually have a calming atmosphere. I ordered a drink and found a booth in the back where I could be alone and try and sort through all of my thoughts. I sipped on my drink as I tried to piece everything together.

I can't believe he would do something like this.
This is not like him. Or maybe it is, and I just never noticed before. I can't be with a guy like that. I don't want to be with a guy like that.
Then, I decided it was over. There was no excuse he could come up with that would make me understand and want him back. I made up my mind. We were over. As I was finishing my drink I looked out the window and saw that it was beginning to rain. I watched as the water droplets began to soak the window and it began to blur my vision. I couldn't really see what was going on outside. All I could see was shadows rushing by trying to get out of the rain. The bell on the cafe door went off many times while some people came in to get out of the rain. I didn't even bother to look over because I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. I heard the bell ring again and heard a lot of people talking.
"Oh no, you got your suit all wet." I heard a woman say.
"Yea son, you look like you're drenched to the bone." A man said.
"Daddy he looks like a wet dog!" I heard a little boy exclaim.
I decided to look over and see what was causing all of this commotion.
I looked around and saw a very soaking wet boy dressed in a suit that looked a lot like the one Josh was wearing.

Oh great. Now I'm seeing Josh when he's not really there. I thought to myself.

But then the boy looked up at me and our eyes met.
It was, in fact, Josh.
He looked horrible. His suit was ruined, His hair was dripping wet and his eyes were all red, it looked like he had been crying.

He slowly made his way over to the booth I was in. I was speechless from the sight in front of me. He looked so weak and vulnerable. He's always been so strong, I was literally shocked to see him like this. He made it all the way to my booth and just stood there for a minute. He was looking down at the floor. The whole cafe had their eyes on us. Josh very quietly whispered,"'Can I sit down?" It was barely audible, but I still heard him. I didn't know how to react to all of this. I decided to see how things played out. I simply nodded.
He slowly made his way into the seat across from me.
He didn't speak for a while. He was just fidgeting with his fingers on the table. He seemed nervous, and scared. It was like he was afraid of me.
I had never seen him act this way before. I didn't know what to do or say.

He finally looked up at me.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't happen the way you think it did." He was still speaking softly and slowly. All the anger in me rose up again when he said this.
"Are you serious? You were dancing with another girl to the last slow song. You promised me a dance and then you left telling me you were going to the bathroom and you didn't come back. I was starting to get worried and then I find you dancing with another girl. I wouldn't have cared if we had missed the slow dance, but it was the fact that you were dancing with another girl without even telling me or anything, That was just so low." I said back letting my anger show. I didn't care how desperate he looked right now. It didn't matter, this was his fault.

He scrunched his face as I began to raise my voice. It looked like the words I was saying was actually afflicting pain upon him.
He sighed and looked down at his lap.
He mumbled, "I'm sorry." It made me even more angry.
"Sorry? You're sorry? Is that all you can come up with?" I said waiting for him to even try to say something better.
He sighed again and paused. He looked like he was trying to compose himself and organize his words carefully. He took a deep breath and then looked up at me again.
"Listen, I'm going to explain the whole thing right now, but I want you to promise to listen to the whole thing and not comment or anything until I am completely finished." He begged.
I thought for a moment and decided to give him a chance.
"Ok, fine. Explain." I responded. He sighed a sigh of relief and then began.

"Ok, so for the past two moths, that girl, Sarah has been trying to get me to go out with her. I continued to shut her down every time. I never once led her on, but she continued to bother me. She would leave notes in my locker. She's called my house many times. I never picked up, but she would leave messages begging me to call her back. She's only in one of my classes, but in that class she sits behind me and she'll pass notes to me and she'll play with my hair. I tell her to leave me alone and that I have a girlfriend that I love very much, but she never backs off. When I went to the bathroom at the dance, she waited for me outside the bathroom and begged me to dance with her. I told her no and said I was there with you, my girlfriend. She said fine, but at least dance with her once, and that if I did that she would stop everything she was doing and leave me alone. I made her promise to leave me alone if I danced with her for one song. And she promised, so that's why we were dancing. I am not attracted to her at all. I don't even like her as a person. I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted her to leave me alone." He said, while his eyes pleaded with me. I thought about it for a minute.
"Wait, so you're telling me that this has been going on for two months and you never told me anything about it?" I was doubting his story.
"Yes it has, but I didn't want to get you involved or anything. It wasn't a big deal. I didn't like her and she never said or did anything around you. I was going to tell you, but it wasn't important to me." He said trying to convince me.
"It wasn't important to you? Some girl is trying to steal you away from me and you don't even tell me!" I said getting angry again. He was starting to get restless.
"You're right, I should have told you. I don't like her at all. And I'm sorry this whole thing happened. I didn't want to tell you because I wanted it to all be over. I didn't want to hurt you." I said on the edge of tears.
"Well it did hurt me. I can't believe you wouldn't tell me this. Is there anything else you haven't told me?" His eyes met mine and I could see deep into him.
"No, I promise. I have never lied to you. This is the only thing I've kept from you and I thought it would be good for you. I thought I was protecting you, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. And I couldn't be more sorry. Please, forgive me. I promise to tell you everything from now on. I've learned my lesson." his eyes were still connected to mine.
I wasn't sure what to say. I could tell he was serious, but I was still upset about everything. I thought about it for a minute and then made my decision.
"Fine, I forgive you. I'll give you another chance, but you have some trust to build back again." I said letting him know that he was forgiven but not completely off the hook.
When I said that, it looked like a burden was lifted off of his shoulders. He looked relieved.
"Ok, I understand. And I promise to do whatever it takes to get you to trust me again." He said with confidence.
"Ok, well, let's get out of here. I'm tired and you're soaking wet. You need to get into some dry clothes." He nodded.
We got up and made our way out of the cafe. All the other customers eyes followed us out as we left. The rain had stopped and we walked back towards our houses hand in hand.

"What are you thinking about?" Josh said, shaking me out of my thoughts. We were almost back to my house.
"Oh, I was just thinking about some of the hard times that we went through and still came out strong."
A little smirk appeared on his face.
"Yeah, we have been through a lot sweetheart, but we always make it through everything."
I smiled.
"We do." The rest of the short ride was in silence.
When we made it back to my house, Josh walked me up to my door. He stood there for a moment and just looked at me. He seemed to be thinking about something. I was about to ask him if everything was alright, but he began to speak before I could.
"I've been meaning to talk to you about something." he said while he kept looking at me.
"Alright, go ahead." I told him allowing him to continue. I was pretty curious, he seemed serious.
"Well, I've wanted to tell you that I was offered a position at the company I have been interning for. And it is a great opportunity for me." he paused.
"That's great! I'm so proud of you!" I said as I hugged him.
"Thanks, it is great. It is just that, it is at a branch of the company that is eight hours away from here. I would have to move." He said looking at me waiting for my response.
"Wait, seriously? You want to move eight hours away from here, and you are just going to leave everything we had behind? After all we've been through, you're just gonna give it all away? I can't believe you!" I was so upset that he was going to throw everything we had away.
"No, it's not like that. I wanted to..." I cut him off.
"No, it is like that, you're ridiculous. I can't believe you would do this to me!" I said as I turned away from him and took off.
I ran, as fast I could, I ran.
And I didn't look back.
I can't slow down.
I have to get away.
I can't believe this is happening
I have to keep running.

I ran faster than i've ever run before. Nothing could get in my way. Nothing could stop me. I have to get away from this pain. I had to run away from this feeling.
He was leaving me. He was going to follow his dreams and leave me behind. I can't handle the thought of loosing him.
I ran so long that I had to stop. I slowed down and fell to my knees and began to weep.
All my emotions were flowing from my eyes. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, so I looked around. I found myself kneeling right outside the park that I ran to after my very first fight with Josh. I always ran. I can't handle the pain, so running away always seemed to help me. But not right now. I have never felt pain like this before.

I picked myself up and made my way over to the same tube slide I laid in three years ago. The memories of this park flooded my mind and made the pain I was feeling now all the worse. I crawled up the slide and stopped in the middle. I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them, while I buried my face into my knees. And I sobbed, not holding anything back, I let it all out. I wanted Josh to be there to comfort me. I wanted him to hold me, but he was leaving me. I was being left behind. I couldn't handle the thought of loosing him.

I cried for the longest time, until I couldn't cry anymore. I stretched out my legs and just laid in the slide trying to sort everything out. I laid there for a while and I began to shiver. I was getting cold. I decided it was time for me to get up and go home.

As I was about to slide down, I felt movement in the slide. I couldn't tell if it was coming from the top or the bottom of the slide. I just laid still, until I felt a hand grab my right ankle and begin to pull me down to the bottom of the slide. It didn't hurt me, but I still wasn't strong enough to get out of the grasp. I began to scream, and try to kick the person off. It wasn't helping me at all. When I reached the bottom of the slide and my feet hid the sand, the hand let go of my ankle. I looked down and saw Josh kneeling right in front of me.
"What the heck, Josh. You scared me half to death. I thought I was getting kidnapped or something." I explained to him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just didn't want you to run away again. I need to explain all of this to you" He said trying to explain himself.
"What else is there to explain? You're leaving me behind!" I said letting all of the anger go and allowing him to see me as a complete wreck about to break down.
"No, you misunderstood me." He started.
"What is there to misunderstand?" I asked interrupting him.
"Please just listen." he pleaded.
"Alright, I'm listening." He looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. Then he looked back up and me and began talking.
"Charlotte, You mean everything to me. I never want to hurt you in anyway. We have been through so much together and I know that whatever we face, we can come out strong if we are together. I don't want to loose you. I can't stand the thought of never being with you. I didn't respond to the position yet, because there is something that I need to do first. I know that I can't do all of this on my own. I need you right there with me through everything I face. I need you to be by my side, through the good times, and the the rough times, for forever. Charlotte, you mean more to me than I could describe with any words that exist. The feelings I have for you go deeper than any other feeling I have ever had. I need you with me throughout my entire life. Charlotte, will you marry me?"

He asked while he was kneeling in front of me and I was sitting at the end of the slide. I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. I literally couldn't speak. One minute I think that he wants to leave me and the next he asks me to marry him. I though about what it would be like to be with him forever. I had never felt more confident in any decision that I have ever made. I knew what my answer was.

"Josh, I love you so much. I thought I was going to loose you and I couldn't handle the thought of that. I would wither away without you. Yes, I will marry you!" I said as I couldn't hold back the tears of joy that were slowly falling from my eyes.

He smiled up at me and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a little black box. When he opened it I saw the most beautiful diamond I had ever laid my eyes on. It was perfect. He took it out of the box and slipped it on my finger. Perfect fit. He stood up in front of me and helped me stand up. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. His lips met with mine and we shared the most passionate kiss we have ever shared. It made ever fear I had about him leaving me fall away. Everything that I thought was wrong, just faded away when he kissed me. When our lips separated he rested his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes.
"Josh, you always seem to find me when I run away. How do you do it?" I wondered how he always knew what to do.
"Char, I will run after you until I find you. I will never stop looking for you, even if it takes my whole life. I will always catch you. I love you!" he responded.
"You're amazing. I love you too!" I smiled up at him.
He smiled his amazing smile back at me and leaned in and kissed me again, next to the slide in the park, where he promised to always catch me.