I Swear This Time I Mean It

Your Lullaby For All The Times

Holly hip bumped her car door closed and let out an aggravated groan. Work had been worse than usual and she was truly exhausted. She walked up to the small house Derek rented with a prominent frown on her face.

Her eyes scanned the house involuntarily. It’d been almost two weeks since she’d been over to pick up the house while the boys were still on the road. She’d always envied him for the house.

It had started as a fixer up project for Derek’s uncle, but once he found out that the house was more of a mess then he’d first thought. Then he planned on selling it, but Derek got to him first.

He paid two hundred for every month that he was actually living in it and fixed up the house bit by bit. Holly helped with the boys when she could, but it was mostly just Derek. He’d even built a front porch last year. Holly loved it, and what Holly loved, Derek usually did too.

She fiddled with her keys as she went up the steps to the door. The keys fell and she groaned as she bent over to pick them up. The front door opened before her fingertips brushed the ground.

“I thought I heard your car pull up.” Derek grinned but then quickly back tracked as she straightened up and he caught sight of her disgruntled expression. “Holly, what’s the matter?” He pulled her inside and kicked the door closed as he wrapped his arms around her. The cool air inside the house was like heaven against her clammy skin.

“Bad day,” she mumbled and laid her head down on his shoulder. Her body relaxed against his. “Work sucks.”

He chuckled and rubbed her back gently. “You want to take a shower before we start movie time?” She practically melted at his suggestion.

“I would absolutely love to.”

“Great, I’ll run to the store and pick up some ice cream while you shower.” He kissed her forehead as accustomed and started to slip his shoes on while she kicked hers off. “Can I borrow your car?” He gave her a sheepish smile that made her giggle lightly.

“Sure you can doll.” She handed over her keys and watched him kiss her cheek again before he zoomed out the door.

Holly sighed as she turned around and went straight for the bathroom. Her second shower for the day was bliss and by the time. Derek returned she was smiling and singing. He shook his head and couldn’t’ help but grin as he listened to her and even hummed along.

She tiptoed out of the bathroom in just a towel and to his bedroom. The last drawl in his dresser had her clothes in it and vice versa. Her parents hadn’t minded him spending the night as long as he slept on the couch and his parents loved her, always inviting her for dinner and never caring if she stayed over. Hence the extra clothes.

She grabbed a tank top and an old pair of pajama bottoms that probably had once belonged to Derek. She sat down on the end of his bed and looked down at the pants. She picked at them subconsciously as Alex’s words from that morning ran through her mind again.

Derek had been her best friend since she could remember. She shared everything with him. He was a piece of her and she loved him. But was she in love with him? How was being in love different from how she felt?

She brightened when he came into the room. She was comfortable and so relaxed around him. She would wonder where he was when he wasn’t around. She’d always thought his eyes were beautiful and his smile stunning. Maybe she was in love with Derek Sanders after all.

There was a soft knock at the door that managed to scare Holly so much, she fell off the bed with a thud. “You alright, Holls?” The door cracked open and Derek stuck his head in. “What are you doing on the floor?” He raised his eyebrows and she erupted into a fit of giggles.

He laughed too and stepped fully into the room, extending his hand to help her up. Holly smirked as she took his hand and yanked hard as she could, making him fall on top of her. They laid there and laughed, just staring into each others’ eyes. Her stomach squeezed.

“I got cookie dough ice cream.” He mentioned once they’d calmed down. Her eyes widened and she was gone before he’d even sat up.

“Cookie dough is my fucking favorite!” She yelled as she ran for the kitchen and he chuckled as he followed her slowly.

He found her at the kitchen counter, two extra large scoops already in a bowl. He grinned and leaned against the door frame as he watched her back. He didn’t mention that he knew cookie dough was her favorite and that was exactly why he bought it.

“I fucking love you, Derek Sanders.” The words slipped out before she even thought about them. It was normal for her to proclaim her love like this after he did something like that, but now she was over analyzing everything about their relationship she had with her best friend.

“Just wait until you see the movies I picked.” He joked and she glanced over her shoulder at him. “Feel like having an eighties night?”

Her heart melted. It was her favorite ice cream and her favorite movies. She smiled as she put the ice cream away and carried her bowl with her, stopping in front of him. “You truly are heaven sent, Sanders.”

She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before continuing to the living room. Her cheeks burned as she sat down on the couch and started shoveling ice cream into her mouth.

Derek followed her with a sigh. “You’ve been acting weird today. Ya sure you’re okay?” He sat down on the ground, training his worried eyes on her.

Holly bit her bottom lip as she nodded. She knew he didn’t completely believe it, but he let it go. He popped in the DVD and got up to sit on the couch beside her.

“First up is,” Derek grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. “St. Elmo’s Fire!”

“Yay!” She cheered, dying for the tension to leave. “Judd Nelson is my favorite, even though he’s a total asshole.”

“You’ve always been attracted to those asshole types.” Derek muttered and her mouth fell open.

“That’s not fair!” She whined and slapped his chest lightly. “How was I supposed to know they were assholes?” She pouted and stared at the screen.

“I know it’s not your fault, sweetheart.” He bent forward and grabbed her ankles, bringing them on to his lap. “They were sneaky bastards that hid their asshole ways well.”

“They were sneaky bastards.” She agreed and frowned. Her few ex-boyfriends were not the best thing to talk about. She got lonely when she thought of them.

“Alright, Judd Nelson, here we come.” Derek hit the play button, trying to distract her. He regretted mentioning the assholes she’d dated. She always got this pained look on her face when they came up in conversation.

“You know you think the red head girl’s hot.” Holly teasingly pushed his arm. He looked at her and smiled as the opening music started.

“She’s not really my type.” Holly’s heart skipped a beat and she swallowed hard as her eyes locked with his pretty sea green ones.

“What’s your type then?” Did she really want to know the answer to that?

Derek smirked and turned back to the TV, shrugging as he did so. “I like girls a little more down to earth and not so superficial.”

She rolled her eyes. “Superficial was your word of the day, wasn’t it?” He didn’t respond but she noticed his grin widen as he worked hard to be absorbed in the movie. She rolled her eyes again and shook her head as she refocused onto the TV.
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