Crash

I shot up in bed and started screaming. Both my mom and dad ran in to find out what had happened. I cried as my mom tried to calm me down. It had been only 3 months ago that I still had a best friend. And now she was in a dark grave haunting my every dream for what I had done. My dad kept repeating its ok and it wasn’t your fault. But the truth was I didn’t know if it was my fault or not, as much as I tried I can’t remember the actual wreck. I remember before and after but not in between.

My mom laid down beside me and promised she would stay with me all night like she always did. And dad went back to bed because he had to go to work tomorrow.

Dear Diary, (August 30, 2009)
Sam visited me again.
She said the same thing.
I cried those same tears.
Mom came to comfort me.
Mom fell asleep while I still lay wide awake.
3 months is a long time without my best friend.
-Ky

When the morning finally came, I got up and started getting ready, it would be my first day back at school since that night. The therapist thought it would be good for me to get out and see some of my friends. The harsh truth was that Samantha was my only friend. And now I didn’t even have her.

After mom dropped me off the school counselor and my therapist met with me in the conference room to make sure I was ready. I felt like a kindergartener with them showing me everything I already knew. It was supposed to be our senior year this year, and then we were going to go to the local university together. I walked to my first block class in a daze. A lot of people looked but even more stared as I made my way to my chair.

The teacher began her lecture about chemical compounds and Sir Issac Newton’s 3rd law. I started doodling in my notebook, its hard to concentrate on about 2 hours of sleep. There was a knock on the door and the principal came in, she introduced to us a new student. His name was Alec and he was from England. Just my luck, the teacher put him right beside me. I put my head down and did not lift it until the bell rang. I got up and walked out, I didn’t even stop by the principles office I just kept going.

I walked to the cemetery where she lays, and I went to the grave stone with her name. Hot tears ran down my face and I just laid on the ground beside her wishing I was dead too and not left alone here. I woke up about 3 hours later with the grounds keeper standing beside me. He smiled and said “Did you have a good nap?” I sat up groggily and replied “No.” He laughed and said “How about you come in for some tea?”

I first met Harry when he caught me sneaking in the night after she was buried. We walked into his small house and as I sat there he put the water on the stove. His house always reminded me of one of those tiny cottages you see in story books. It had one bedroom, one bathroom, and a main room that consisted of the kitchen and living room. He sat beside me and said “You know there was nothing you could do that would have helped or harmed her afterwards. The doctors said that she couldn’t feel, hear, or see anything by the time you got to her. You know as well as I do that it was not your fault, it was those stupid college frat boys.” In the news paper the “truth” was that the 3 college boys that had been racing were all charged with vehicular homicide, but no one blamed me for swerving into a ditch and killing my best friend.

I sat up and asked “Do you think someone can be haunted in their dreams?” He smiled sadly and replied “No, but I do know that Samantha would have wanted you to move on and not blame yourself to the extent that you have horrible nightmares every single night.” He poured me a cup of tea and added “Weren’t you supposed to go back to school today?” I nodded yes. And then he smiled and said “Well its ok there’s always tomorrow. How about we call the folks and let them know that you are ok and that you will be home shortly?”

I shrugged as he dialed their number. I got that funny feeling in my stomach again…the one I only got while the nightmares were happening and then I saw her staring at me through the window. I jumped out of my chair, Harry looked up at me in shock and declared that he would bring me home as soon as possible so that I didn’t get sick. I looked back at the window and the figure was gone.

Dear Diary, (August 31, 2009)
Sam where are you?
-Ky

When I got home I went out side to our old clubhouse, I sat in there thinking for a while when I heard a knock on the old door. I uttered a “Come in” Thinking it was my mom but when I turned around I saw that new kid Alec looking back at me! I jumped and said “What are you doing here?” He smiled and said “You left early so I brought your assignments since we have all of the same classes. Mrs. Faulkenberry told me where you lived and your mom told me that you were out here.” I took the books from him and laid them down beside me. He smiled and then added “Nice hangout. Do you need help with those assignments?” I didn’t know what to say so I just turned back around and doodled on my notepad. I heard him shuffle around a bit and he slipped out while stating “Well if you do need my help, I live right next door.” I turned to say thank you but he was already gone. I picked up my books and went inside.

I tried to do the assignments but my mind kept wandering to the figure in the window. Could it really be Sam? I know that she is dead but could she have come back somehow? I fell asleep while pondering this question…and then there it was again. The trees, the smoke, the yelling. Something slicing through my hands as I crawled to her, I kept yelling her name but all she could mutter was a groan. Then she grabbed my shirt and yelled “You did this!”

I jumped up out of my sleep and almost fell off the bed. It was almost midnight and I had forgotten to eat supper, which mom had laid on my desk while I was sleeping. So I went down stairs to fix me and sandwich and as I turned to go to the table, there she was. It was foggy out side but I could see her clear as day out at the clubhouse waiting for me. I set the stuff down and ran outside yelling her name, as I got closer she seemed to disappear.

I fell on to my knees, the wet morning dew seeping through my jeans, and kept repeating “I’m sorry Sam! I’m sorry!” Hot tears fell down my face someone grabbed my shoulder and picked me up and held me close. I couldn’t quit crying long enough to see who it was, but the next morning I was laying on the couch when my mom came to wake me up I asked “How did I get down here?” She smiled sweetly and guessed “You must have just sleepwalked, the therapist said it is common in trauma patients.” She had breakfast ready by the time I got down stairs. I kept thinking about the dream and how it seemed so real. There was a knock at the front door. Mom answered. When she came back into the room Alec was with her. She offered him breakfast but he gracefully declined and rendered that he had already eaten breakfast and just wanted to know if I needed a ride to school. My mom said “That would be wonderful I’m sure that Kyleigh would love a ride to school!” She turned to me and said “I’ll go get your book bag while you finish eating.”

He sat down beside me and whispered “How are you feeling today?” I must have looked puzzled, he looked down as he stated “Last night you ran outside screaming and crying. I kept asking you what was wrong but you just kept saying I’m sorry Sam. Who is Sam?” My mind began to race, he was the one who carried me inside last night. I looked down at my food suddenly not hungry and uttered the three words that haunted me the most, “My best friend.”

Dear Diary, (September 1, 2009)
Alec.
Sam.
He picked me up because she wasn’t really there…
-Ky