Just To Be With You

CH 33

“Are you excited? The wedding is almost here!” I heard from behind me as I tried to organize my desk. I was running behind but would probably still beat Zach there. He was still showering and getting dressed from practice.

When I turned around I met the familiar face of the soft-spoken Canadian voice I knew so well. “Marty,” I said with a smile.

“How are you kid?” he smiled back. He leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. It caught me a bit by surprise considering I treated him so terribly not that long ago.

“I’m all over the place,” I squealed as I returned the embrace. “What brings you up here?”

“I’m just passing through. I gotta find Lamoriello so I thought I’d stop by on the way and say hi. You got my response for the wedding right?”

“Of course I did. I couldn’t imagine marrying Zach without you being there.”

“You’re sure about that?” he looked at me side-eyed.

I let out a nervous laugh from his teasing and felt my cheeks turn red. “I’m still surprised you’re up here. You aren’t exactly someone who I’d ever bank on seeing up here, plus, I wouldn’t blame you if you got me fired and never spoke to me again.”

Marty grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back into him. “I know you were going through a rough time. I don’t hate you, I respect you Sarah. You’re a lovely girl, sweet as sugar—and the smile plastered on Z’s face when you’re together is enough on its own to make me forgive you.”

I had butterflies in my stomach and felt a lump in my throat. “Thank you,” I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged him tighter. “Thank you Marty,” I echoed again. “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it kid,” Marty said as he pulled away from me. “I told Z I was going to pop up here on my adventure and he mentioned you guys are going to finalize your registry or something. Isn’t it a little late for that? You should have had your bride party or whatever you girls do by now.”

“Yeah, I got a lot of the stuff we registered for at the shower but a lot of people mentioned wanting to bring gifts to the wedding. We didn’t have a lot on the registry anyway, so we just want to go check the items and see if there are any last minute things we want to throw on there.”

“I hope this isn’t upsetting,” he laughed. “but I won’t be bothering with the registry thing. Count me out. I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry.”

“I’m just glad you’re going to be there,” I looked down at my phone and let out a little gasp. “Ah! Marty I have to run, I’m supposed to be at the consultation in twenty minutes, it’s getting late and darker by the second--I’m never going to make it!”

“Alright, I’ll catch up with you later.” I kissed him on the cheek as he chuckled with amusement at my chaotic rushing. I started to run out the door but I felt his hand on my wrist and snapped my head around to see what he wanted. He was cat-like quick. “Be careful, okay?”

“Oh don’t worry about me. I’m always careful.”

“Zach worries about you Sarah…but so do the rest of us. We’re your friends. We’ve always been.”

I looked at him and wrinkled my face with gratitude. I leaned in a kissed him quickly on the cheek one last time. “Thanks gramps,” I joked.

I heard him quietly laughing as I ran out the door.

*****

It was getting warmer out but it was still crisp and chilly. Thank God spring was right around the corner, or at least was supposed to be, but I needed it to be a little sunnier and toasty before I could believe it. The sun was just about set and I momentarily regretted my decision to wear a cute little dress as I ran to the train station to get back into the city and meet with my consultant. I had discussed it with Zach days in advance and we agreed it would be smart for me to go and handle what I needed to handle because he wasn’t certain what time he would be able to get out of the arena.

When I got off the train at MSG I high tailed it off the train; it was fascinating that the Garden was always packed full with people no matter what time of day or night. I was lucky that the biggest Macys ever was only minutes away or I would have had a panic attack trying to beat the sea of people with their own agenda’s.

I didn’t realize my phone was buzzing in my pocket but when I finally did I was happy to see it was my betrothed.

“Hey baby!” I gushed into the phone.

“Hey Sar,” I could barely hear him because the station was so loud but just knowing he was talking soothed me. “I just was calling to check in. I’m on my way. I should be there soon.”

“Good cuz I just got here. I’m not even at Macy’s yet.”

I could hear him laugh on the other end. “Boy I feel a lot less guilty about being so late now. I must be right behind you, I’ll see you soon then. I love you.”

“I can’t wait Zach. I can barely hear you though, so I’ll just meet you when you’re here.”

As I hung up the phone I walked through MSG in a hurry and tried not to bulldoze anyone over in the process. When I ran up the stairs and out the door, I felt the cool air hit me like a ton of bricks. Unfortunately that wasn’t all. I felt my breath get caught in my throat as the force of running into someone paralyzed me with shock. I backed away to excuse myself from the wall I had barreled into but I felt my eyes pop open when I realized it was Sean.

“Sarah,” his lips twisted into a smirk.

Son of a bitch! I was so stupid. I knew- I knew better! The freaking train took me to Madison Square Garden! He lives in New York. He plays for the Rangers, I was asking for it.

I tried to respond to him but my heart was pounding so hard. It never failed. Every single time I looked at him, every time I saw him, I was transported back to that night and forced to relive everything he’d put me though. I felt my mouth open but no words came out.

“You could at least apologize for almost knocking me over. It’s rude.”

“I-I have to go.” It was the best I could do, all I could stammer out.

“Where are you rushing off to?”

I should have felt better that I wasn’t alone like I was in that alley. I should have breathed slightly more at ease knowing he couldn’t rip his pants off and hike up my skirt and force himself inside me again.

“I…I have to go. I have to go now.” I wanted to say more. I wanted to kick him in the balls and run away, assess some sense of my own free will, but I just couldn’t do it. He always found a way to paralyze me and send me back to being a little girl without a voice.

“Honey,” he said as he wrapped his muscular arm around my waist. “No need to scamper off. It’s dark,” he said with a sadistic grin. “You never know who you can run into on the streets of New York. Please let me escort you back to your apartment so I know you get home safely,” he tried to start motoring me forward and because fear had overtaken my senses, my legs started to move.

“Don’t touch me,” I weakly pleaded. “Haven’t you done enough?”

As he slowly led me to a more secluded part of the arena I went numb.

“I haven’t done nearly as much as I could do. I just wish you’d stop being so stubborn and playing these games. You’re a whore.” He turned and looked down at me and I could feel my body quiver. “You give it up to Zach, you give it to Staal for fun, and you won’t let me give it to you good. You play these sick games, string us all along, and wonder why your man slept with someone else?”

I was going to vomit. He was killing me, slowly but surely, he was pushing me over the edge. I could see people walking but I couldn’t scream for help. I couldn’t run away. I hated myself for being such a coward.

“Why do you do this to me all the time? What have I ever done to you to deserve this?” I cried out. I felt him graze his hand from my waist to my ass and shuddered. Suddenly he became more aggressive as he grabbed my face between his hands and forced me to look him in the eyes.

“You want to know why? Because it’s fun. Because when you walk by you make my dick hard as a fucking rock. Because I want to fuck you and make Parise hate himself. So, that might sound like I’m a dick, and maybe I am, but at this point it’s because I can. Your boy is no angel. He put me in the hospital. He busted my fucking spleen, him and his little posse, and ya know what?” he asked as he slid one hand off my cheek, ran it down my side and tortured me as he continued by grazing it across the southern part of my abdomen. “As much satisfaction as he got out of that, I still win, because I still had what matters most to him. And that’s you.”

I searched his eyes for any remorse but I knew I wouldn’t get it. “You’re sick. You’re a sorry excuse for a man.”

“But I’m still the one who you dream about.”

“Yeah, out of disgust, out of fear, out of horrible, terrible, nightmares.”

“It doesn’t matter the reason, it matters that the control is there and I have it all.” He snaked his arm tightly around my waist and pressed himself into me. I could feel everything, his stomach, his legs, his dick, everything. His arm was so tight I couldn’t move. He was right, he won. He had the control. Somehow he swooped in and stole it and neither Zach nor I ever got it back. I couldn’t forgive him for what he’d done, and Zach couldn’t forgive him for what he’d done to me. In that moment I gave up. Every time I tried to fight him, as pathetic as my attempts were, I lost.

“Back. The. Fuck Off.”

We both snapped our heads around.

*****

“I swear on all that is holy that I will fucking kill you.” I growled at the prick who currently had my fiancée anchored to him.

I fucking knew it. I knew it. I knew this was going to happen. I didn’t feel comfortable with it, I just didn’t. I couldn’t tell you why. I couldn’t even tell Sarah why, I just had this feeling in my gut and of course it proved to be right.

I wasn’t even that far behind her. I must have taken the train right after hers since she was running late. When I stepped off I tried to call her to see where she was but she wasn’t answering. I called her five times and when she didn’t answer my last attempt that old instinct kicked right into full gear. I knew something wasn’t right and it just made my uneasiness even worse.

I ran through the station and tried to remember the in’s and out’s of the place. Considering the prick played here and my team visited frequently, we knew more areas than the average commuter. I checked everywhere, and as I did, I kept hearing Sarah’s precious laugh in the back of my mind, the one with her telling me I was overreacting and she was fine.

When I finally saw her in his grasp my entire body tingled with adrenaline. I could see her face plastered with fear and his with pleasure.

As I ran to them I could hear what he was saying and it made me even more livid. The bright side? Even though she was paralyzed in fear, she wasn’t hurt. He hadn’t done anything to her yet and my streak of bad luck was over. I wasn’t there with her at the moment, no, but I was here now and she wasn’t about to get hurt.

“Why do you always have to fuck everything up Parise?” Sean asked me annoyed that I ruined his moment. Like I’d simply messed up his plan. In no way did he acknowledge the fact that he’d tortured Sarah in almost every way possible.

“Get your fucking hands off of her.” I didn’t wait for him to respond, I pushed him off of Sarah and pulled her into me. I protectively positioned her behind me and she dug her fingers into my sides as if she were afraid Sean would hurt her if she let me go.

“You are the ultimate cock block,” Sean sighed in anger as he glared at me. “It’s become quite tiresome.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I spat back bewildered. “You are a fucking PSYCHO!”

“And you’re marrying a whore.”

Instinctively I punched him in the face on the top of his cheek right below his eye. His face flew to the side and he fell backwards, I hit him with that much anger and force.

Then the dam broke.

I couldn’t stop hitting him. I couldn’t physically pull myself off of him. I saw bits of blood and it wasn’t enough. I wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt Sarah. I wanted to kill him for causing what he’d caused.

“She’s a whore?” I screamed as I kept going. “Because you raped her like a coward and sent her into a self-destructive spiral, she’s a whore? Because she’s an angel and you set out early on to make her fall?”

I was in a trance and I had completely forgotten we weren’t the only people in the world. “Zach!” I finally heard Sarah who had apparently been tugging on me and trying to get my attention. “Zach, stop!”

I turned to her breathless and scooped her up into my arms. I felt her squeeze me as hard as I did her as I lifted her off the ground. She was shaking, her body was still in shock, but she was okay. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Sarah, I’m here now,” I puffed out as I still held her to me.

“I’m okay, I…I’m fine. I mean, I’m not hurt and it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself,” I finally felt her begin to lose control of her emotions. She stopped trying to hide them from me. “I love you.”

I pulled my face away to look at her as one of my arms held her tightly around her waist at the other ran through her hair. “I love baby, I’m here. I’m sorry I lost control I just didn’t want to see him hurt you, I didn’t want to see you lose it…”

Her big blue eyes had were still damp with tears but I saw the change in her from past experiences with him. She was terrified and upset but she was alright. Somehow that sparkle was still there and she wasn’t going to push me away or run.

“Can we please just go home. I don’t care about the registry. I don’t care about the consultation. I just want to go home with you,” she pleaded, still holding on to me.

She turned to look down at Sean who was pulling himself up off the ground. “You can rot in hell,” she said to him in disgust. “You ruined me for so long that I actually forgot who I was. But you know what? Zach never did. He never forgot who I really was and it’s because of his love that I’m okay, and no, you don’t control me. So you know what, at the end of the day as much as you think you win, you don’t. I’m marrying him in a month because his love for me has covered all of the wrong you’ve done. You lose Sean. You lose.”

She grabbed my hand and dragged me, literally pulled me, completely through the Garden and into the streets of New York. She was on a mission to go home and feel safe again and I couldn’t blame her. I still couldn’t believe this happened again.

“Sarah slow down.” When we were many blocks away I stopped in my tracks and forced her to spin around. “Stop for a minute.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me. “It’s okay. I’m still right here with you and I am never going to let anything happen to you.”

“I know that. I’m not running from you I’m just running to be in my apartment with you. I can’t even fathom what just happened.”

“It’s unreal.” I commented just as flabbergasted as she was.

“You know what,” she snickered. “It isn’t. Did you really think we would go the rest of our lives without seeing him? I didn’t. I knew I’d come face-to-face with him again. I just didn’t know when. And it’s over now, and I’m okay. I don’t know if I’ll ever totally be over it, but I’m okay.”

I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear grabbed her hand to walk with her the rest of the way to her apartment. “You are okay. And you’re always gonna be.”

When we walked through the door she tossed her stuff down, walked slowly towards me and wrapped her arms around me. “I love you Zach.” Her voice was shaky and she was still shivering but as she breathed me in and held me like she was afraid to let go I realized she wasn’t the only one that was okay.

We were okay. More than okay. Perfect.