Forever Yours

When I woke up in the morning next to Zack, I couldn’t help but smile. A warm feeling built up in my stomach as I watched his subtle breathing and his flat, bare stomach move slowly up and down.
I took my hand and placed it flat on Zack’s stomach. I started to rub his abs slowly and gently. He started to squirm around, stretching his arms out and moving his legs under the sheets. He finally opened blinked and flashed those baby blues at me. He smiled, pulled me down to him, and kissed me gently on the lips.
“Morning gorgeous,” he said.
“Morning,” I smiled.
“Last night was…AMAZING!” He pulled me on top of him and then rolled us around so he was on top. “I love you so much.”
“I love you,” I said. He kissed me and suddenly his tongue was in my mouth playing with mine. “Mm, I gotta get ready for that breakfast with Matthew and…”
“Your dad,” he finished.
“Yeah,” I said. I got off of him and lay next to him. I put my fingers through my hair and sighed.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“I don’t think that would work. I don’t want my dad to go ballistic or anything.”
“Yeah,” he said. “You’re probably right.”
I got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom door. I turned around and looked at him in bed. “Do you think you can stay like that until I get back?”
“I don’t know. I have a lot to do today. I have to prepare for going back to work. I have to be briefed about the recent accounts and all that.”
“What’s it like to be the big dog at work?”
“Well, with ad execs, it’s all about your rep. It doesn’t really even matter if you’re talented or not.”
“How did you ever become an AD executive? I always thought you’d end up being this big football star.”
“I played in college, especially after you left, but I hurt my knee. They said I could play again, but I just never had the drive for it anymore.”
“You should’ve kept playing. You were really great. I remember I used to love going to your games.”
“I think you went because you liked watching me.”
I smiled. “That too.”

• • •

I walked up to the door of my dad and Rachel’s house and rang the doorbell. Rachel opened the door.
“Right on time,” she said with a smile. “Come in. Matt will be so excited. He’s been asking me when you’ll get here since six o’ clock this morning.”
I walked in and was immediately rushed with a hug from Matt. My father walked in somberly behind him.
“Hello, son,” he said in a deep voice.
“Hi,” I said.
“I’m glad you came,” he said.
“I came for Matt,” I said.
“Right, well…you still came.”
“Look, I don’t want what’s happened between us affect Matt at all. So, I’ll be nice to you. But other than that, I have no reason to be civil with you.”
“I understand,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I hear that you and Zack are back together.”
“Yes, we are.”
“That’s good,” he said.
“It is?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “I know I put you two through a lot—especially you—and I’m glad that you two could muscle your way through it.”
“Our break up didn’t have anything to do with you. In fact, what you did to me just made us stronger.”
“Oh,” he looked around.
“The food is getting cold,” said Rachel. “We should sit down and eat.” We sat down at the table. “I made Matt’s favorite—waffles.”
“They look delicious,” I said.
“Oh, Rachel’s waffles are famously good,” said my father.
“Oh stop,” Rachel blushed.
“It’s true,” said my father.
Everyone passed around the syrup. Rachel buttered, syruped, and cut Matt’s waffles.
“Rain, I get to start kindergarten next month,” said Matt.
“Really, buddy? That’s great!”
He seemed so excited that it was just too sweet.
“He’s been excited for days. I’m surprised he didn’t say anything yesterday.”
“Naw, he was really quiet at dinner because they gave him a coloring book.”
“Oh, forget it. Matty loves to color.”
After breakfast, I asked Rachel to send Matt upstairs so I could talk to them about letting Matty stay at ours for a while.
“I really wanted to talk seriously with the both of you about this.”
“What is it?” asked my father.
“I wanted to know if you could let Matthew stay with Zack and I for a few nights—maybe a weekend.” My father and Rachel looked at each other and then back at me. “It’s okay to say no. I just thought that…I could maybe spend more time with him.”
“A few days is a long time, Rain. He’s never been away from us for that long.”
“I know. I realize that this is a really big decision to make. You don’t have to make it now. Take as much time as you need.”
“Rain, you seem to have turned out to be a responsible young man and I don’t mind letting Matthew spend a few hours with you here and there, but a few days is too much.”
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“I will regret how I treated you when you came out and even though you may not believe me, I love you. You’re my son. But your lifestyle is still something that I don’t agree with. I can’t let Matt be around that.”
I smiled, “I can’t believe this. You’re not going to let Matthew stay with me because I’m gay?”
“No, because Zack lives with you,” he said.
“Fine,” I said. “This makes me furious, but I don’t wanna yell. I don’t want Matt to hear.” I took a deep breath. “I’m going upstairs to say goodbye to Matt.”
When I came back from saying goodbye to Matt, I had to fight back my tears. I could talk all I wanted about how I don’t care about my father, but what he thinks still matters to me somehow.
They both walked me out of the house. Rachel saw my tears and when she hugged me, asked me what the matter was.
“I just believe that he doesn’t approve of Zack.”
“It’s not Zack, Rain,” said my father.
“You said that he told you what happened between us?” I asked Rachel. She nodded her head. “Did he tell you that he almost killed me?”
“What?” Her face turned serious. She turned to my father who had his hair down. She turned back to me for an explanation.
“He came after me a second time. Zack and I had just got home from his football game. Zack kissed me goodnight and then went back to his car.” Tears started to roll down my cheek. “My dad was in the bushes, watching with a bottle of whiskey in hand. He threw the bottle to the ground, said some really nasty things to me, and then he came after me. I struggled, but I was small then. I couldn’t take him and he started to choke me. Zack hadn’t left yet, and if it wasn’t for him I would probably be dead. That’s when my dad was arrested.”
She looked at me father and then back at me. “Rain, can you take me somewhere?” She seemed upset.
“Where?” I asked.
“I don’t care,” she said. “I have to get out of here.”
“Rachel-“
“Don’t talk to me Charles!”
Rachel got in the passenger seat in my car. I told her that Zack was expecting me. She didn’t mind going to my apartment. So that’s where we headed.