Chasing our Fate

I tossed and turned in my bed, upset that I wasn’t able to sleep. I was convinced I was going through withdrawals from Stevvie and was debating the idea of searching YouTube videos of her. I just needed to hear her voice and know that she was okay. After a number of phone calls, someone finally spilled the beans and revealed that it was because of Prince that she had left so abruptly. It rather gave me some relief, but not much just because of the fact that she didn’t tell me herself. I understood if she didn’t want to talk to me, but it wasn’t very appropriate when she was going through something that traumatic. I would have thought I would be the one of the first people she went to, but I couldn’t so anything now. I simply had to well…wait. It was too bad that I was an impatient person. Being miles and miles away from her sucked more than ever, I didn’t know how long I could hold up.

I looked at the clock and sighed, disappointed that I had another three hours before I needed to get up. To pass the time, I gave in and grabbed my laptop. After a quick search, I found her most recent interview with a local YouTube Vlogger. As I expected, a wave a relief washed over my body when her clear voice filled the room. Everything from her nervous body movements to her adorable giggle made me smile. I contently spent the next hour watching videos of her until someone knocked on my door. I groggily hopped up, assuming it was Joe asking for toilet paper or Frankie wanting to stay with me, but it certainly wasn’t either.

I blinked my eyes until I got used to the blinding hallway light, confused as to why there was a man at the door. I was sure I didn’t know him and I couldn’t figure out why he was fully dressed at five in the morning and surprisingly alert. He wore a fitted leather jacket, deep v-neck, fitted jeans, loafers and a bowler hat atop his wavy hair.

“You’re Nick Jonas,” he stated in a deep monotone voice.

“Yes I am…” I slowly replied, “and you are?”

“I apologize,” he curtly replied, “Blake. Can I come in?”

Instead of me even letting him in, he helped himself and intruded my space. Who was this guy?

“You know, you should really make sure the workers actually know what you look like, that could turn into a serious problem,” Blake stated as he absentmindedly began to pick at the things on my dresser.

“What are talking about?” I asked, “What do you want? Who are you and why are you at my hotel room at five in the morning?”

He smirked and smelled my cologne. “I’m already told you. I’m Blake. I want to talk to you, thus explaining why I am here and…oh, well I kind of convinced the nice old lady at the front desk I was you…otherwise I wouldn’t have found your hotel room number.”

“Okay…” I followed him, making sure nothing of mine was missing. I didn’t have a good feeling about this guy. “I get that you’re ‘Blake’, but who are you? Seriously man, I will call security on you if you don’t tell me.”

“Whoa man…cool your beans…I don’t mean any harm, I promise.” He held his hands up innocently. “If you must know, I’m Blake Jacobsen, I’m twenty-one years old, and I’m a photographer from Chicago. I also do freelance writing. Right now, I live here in Canada. Do you want my social security number too?”

I slowly picked up my phone, so I’d be ready if I needed to call Big Rob.

“Oh…so you’re just some kid trying to get an exclusive interview for a fat paycheck? You do know I could have you arrested and sue you for not only impersonation, but intruding and stalking…how did you know I was even at this hotel?”

Despite the serious situation I was trying to put him in, he laughed as if there was nothing wrong. “Dude, you’re way off. I’m a life and style writer…you know weddings, family reunions and announcements, not Pop culture. Plus, I’m in no dire need of a ‘fat paycheck’, I’m just fine in the financial department. Why would you do that to me, I’m on your side, trust me. Oh, and I followed the glitter and sign trail from last night…you have some…eccentric fans.”

I sighed, losing patience with this guy.

“Okay…then what the heck so you want?”

“Okay…we already discussed this…I want to talk to you,” he said slowly, “Do you understand?”

“Yes…” I said through gritted teeth. “About what? What answers do I possibly have for you seeing how I have no idea who you are and I’ve never met you.”

“Well…how about where your girlfriend is?” he mused, “Or, ‘friend’ or whatever you want to call it in public…she’s obviously not here, so where is she?”

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him. “Why do you need to know where my girlfriend is?”

“Oh!” he smiled, “So Stevvie is your girlfriend. Because I’m an old friend of hers and I thought I’d surprise her with a visit.”

I scoffed. Was this guy serious? “At five in the morning?”

“She’s an early riser.” He replied.

“I know…but, how do you know her?”

This time he sighed. “We grew up together…you know I assumed she’d be here since she loves Canada…”

“Yeah...she does…so how come I haven’t heard of you? Do her friends know about you?” I asked him.

“The gang?” he asked with a smiled, “Dude, I started the gang, well I was the one who started calling us the gang, yeah…Storm, Eric, and Jackie. You sure you haven’t heard of me?”

“Yeah…positive…” I replied, “I’m pretty sure I’d remember your name if they did.”

“Ouch…not even from Skids…I guess I’m that family member that’s in jail no one likes to acknowledge until Christmas or the family reunion.”

“Skids?” I asked.

“Stevvie...sorry, old habit. Man, you have her phone number…do you think you could help me out?” he replied.

I scoffed. “Um, no…for some reason I don’t trust you…anybody could Google that information about Stevvie…how do I know you’re not lying?”

“Ask me something about Stevvie…I know her better than she knows herself.” He replied as he slouched down on the couch as if he was welcome here.

I hesitated before asking him anything.

“Come on man...her favorite color? Royal purple…her favorite movie? Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
She’s allergic to carrots. Proof enough?”

I shook my head. “Even my fans know some of that stuff…tell me something only a close friend would know.”

“You know that tiny scar above her right eyebrow? She got it the first time she road on a skateboard, you only can see it if she doesn’t have any makeup on.”

I slowly began to believe he was legit, but I still didn’t trust him.

“Okay…that’s true…you said you knew her better than she knows herself right?” I smirked, “Then tell me where her birthmark is.”

Laughter erupted from Blake surprisingly. “Dude…did she tell you to find it when you asked?”

“Maybe,” I replied even though it was true.

“You haven’t, had you?” he smirked, “Of course you haven’t…you too haven’t…you know.”

“None of your business.” I cut him off.

“True…but, if you must know…it’s on her ass…left cheek...shaped exactly like a lightning bolt, but it’s pretty small. Don’t tell her I told you though…she’d be pretty pissed.”

“Okay…and how would you know that?” I asked.

He scoffed. “Maybe because I’ve seen it hundreds of times…you really haven’t figured out who I am yet?”

I took a moment to digest and backtracked our whole conversation. Flashes of what he mentioned ran through my head until all the pieces fit together.

“You’re Stevvie’s ex boyfriend,” I finally muttered. Why did my gut feel like it hit the floor?

<->

So, this section is going to be a bit…different. Let’s just say I put our love story on “pause” so to speak and I am going to give you a little background information by talking to you rather than towards you. Now, I know there’s probably a million questions going through your mind…are Nick and I going to make up?...is this the end?...Why have I not spoken to my beloved boyfriend? Why did I leave in the first place? Well, I can’t answer all of those, but I can answer a couple.

Why I am currently sitting on the porch of my parent’s massive mansion and not with Nicholas all comes down the owner of the colossal head that is gently resting in my lap. His breathing is slow and labored and a low growl manages to escape from his droopy lips every so often. He can barely keep his eyes open even though I try and try to call his name. If you haven’t guessed it, it’s Prince, my dog. He’s made few guest appearances in our story, but each one as relevant as the next. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have had the courage to do many things I’ve done, and would have taken twice as long to get over heartbreaks. Prince is the center of my world, the one guy I can count on to listen to me, and one of the very few people I fully trust…and I was losing him quickly.

The last thing a person needs to hear after a fight is that your dog…the one you basically grew up with had suffered a massive stroke, but that’s what I was faced with. In a split decision, I decided to put the life of a loved one in front of my own and be with him when he needed me the most, because he had always been there for me. I knew I was leaving a hectic work schedule and more importantly, Nicholas behind but Prince was more important now. Nick would be fine without me, even if I left in the middle of a fight. I intentionally didn’t inform him on why I had left because I felt that it was just too much stress for the both of us. We were still on edge with each other from the fight and I was already to my capacity with my emotions.

Dealing with your angry boyfriend, dying dog and the fact that I was supposed to start my period wasn’t a good recipe for a healthy mindset. I just needed a break from Nick I suppose, but this certainly wasn’t the end. As I ignore the hundredth text message from Nick, my heartaches. After all, he is still my baby, and I loved him with all my aching heart could take. I know eventually I’m going to have to talk to him, but I was hoping that he’ll hold off on going ‘crazy-boyfriend’ on me until after Prince passed or got better. But, the chances were extremely slim with his old age and the fact that Great Dane’s didn’t live very long in the first place. So, instead of creating a false hope, I was taking the advice of his vet and making sure his last few hours or days are great. There was a little flame of hope that he would pull through, because Prince was my childhood and just thinking about him brought great memories that I didn’t want to lose. He was the ideal dog…loyal, spunky, mischievous, and terribly sweet. He had a certain charm about him that I loved, hence why his name is Prince as in Prince Charming, my Prince Charming.

Now, since we’re on the topic of Prince Charmings, it brings me to another boy that’s relevant to my story. If it weren’t for Prince, I wouldn’t have met my Prince Charming who just happened to not be my current boyfriend. Nick was no Prince Charming to me, only one person had that title in my heart, and that was Blake Anthony Jacobsen. He was also known as my first love. As much as I’d like to say Nick Jonas was my first love, he wasn’t. He was no Blake after all. Why do you need to know about Blake? Well, if it weren’t for Blake I wouldn’t have gotten Prince, and if I hadn’t gotten Prince I wouldn’t be here. Got it? Anyway, I received Prince as a birthday present when I was eight years old from Blake parents whose dog had a litter of puppies. Blake was forced to go to my birthday party even though we hadn’t met. Now if you don’t recall, I was a rambunctious child and I wasn’t the nicest kid either. So, after fifteen minutes, a full on fistfight, and a piece of cake in the face, I was completely smitten over a boy before I even realized I had an interest in boys. Blake was a scrawny bookworm that wore round glasses and corrective shoes, he had a lisp and a cowlick that no matter how much spit we applied, never stayed down, in my eyes he was gorgeous. Literally everyday after that we had play dates and as Prince grew, our relationship grew. Before we knew it, we were both entering our puberty years and boy was that fun.

Because he was two years older than me, Blake bloomed early, as soon as he turned twelve, his voice cracked almost every time he spoke and he would literally grow taller before my eyes. Eventually he got braces, and acne came into his life. The bookworm was still very prominent and his confidence quickly deflated when he began to notice girls. As for me? I was busy moonlighting as a pageant girl and trying to rebel from my elders. We were an awkward sight, a lanky, uncoordinated nerd with a scrawny, scuff up tomboy in guys clothing, but we didn’t mind.

When Blake turned thirteen, he discovered photography, got his braces taken off, which dissolved his lisp and started going to a dermatologist. By the time he was fourteen, his skin was clear, he voice strong and deep and his ditched the nerd glasses for contacts. A new wardrobe courtesy of my fashionable mother in honor of him going to high school completed his new look. He wore leather jackets, v-necks, fitted jeans and oxfords. Girls definitely became interested and so did I. But, I was only twelve at the time and he wasn’t interested in middle schoolers. Luckily, he still was my best friend, he told me everything about high school and dating, which was why I was seemed so wise beyond my years, and I knew about things other twelve year olds didn’t.

Even though I had the idea that we would never be together, Blake was always affectionate towards me. He would tell me that he was in love with me and that he wished that I were older jokingly, but I never believed it. After see him fail at relationships for the next two years, I was convinced I was perfect for him. But I never felt ‘woman’ enough for him because I had the pleasure of being only 5ft and barely tipped 90 pounds. Finally at age thirteen, my body decided it wanted to do it’s job and put me through puberty and by the age of fourteen, I had gained a “womanly” figure with subtle curves.

This is why I slowly began to transition out of my tomboy years for high school. Instead of flipping through skateboard magazines, it was Seventeen magazine and instead of tackling a new trick, it was tackling a makeup look. Dressing more girly was frightening to me, but Blake was always there to complement me and make sure I knew I looked okay. He never judged me or made me feel insufficient, and he was just getting more handsome as he grew older. He had a long, lean build, with childlike eyes and that same mischievous smirk he gave me the moment we first met, and he was the only thing on my mind for the longest. He switched to adorable frames and mostly hung out at the library, yes…he still was that scrawny bookworm that I loved so much. We would discuss classic literature while sipping on overpriced coffee and it made me feel so much older. Finally, one Fall day we were in the park walking Prince, Blake simply leaned over and kissed me. He gave me my first kiss and made me fall head over heel in love all in the same moment. Hearing him say that he has wanted to do that for years, made it even more special. Since that point, we were together and I was in complete bliss.

We were the ‘ideal’ couple, but we had another deeper connection because of the fact that we grew up together and it made us that much more serious. We thought we were going to be together forever and so ‘waiting’ wasn’t an issue. Let’s just say a year and a half later, I was no longer a virgin and neither was he. It’s not something I regret either. Now, I’ve gone on about him for quite awhile and the rest of the story will be revealed at a later time, I promise. But, what I can tell you that it’s obvious that we broke up, or else I wouldn’t be with my beautiful boyfriend today. Though Blake will forever be in my heart as my Prince Charming, that doesn’t mean that a girl can’t have a Knight in shining armor. That was Nicholas and I was fully content with spending the rest of my life with him. He loved me for who I was and he fulfilled my emotional needs as a person. He understands me and truly cares about me and I loved him the same.

So why is Blake relevant once again? I guess you’ll have to read to find out…