Hypervigilance

Every night before I go to bed I sit and wonder how many times I've looked a kidnapper or murderer in the eyes that day. Sitting in this diner is no different. They think they are so slick, that what all of them are doing will go unnoticed. Nothing goes unnoticed. Nothing.

I'm scanning the people in here. An elderly man and woman are having a deep conversation. She is listening to him like what he is saying is the most important thing ever. What they think other people don't notice are their mismatched wedding rings. This is probably an affair that has gone on for many years. Their families probably don't suspect a thing and think they are at bingo. Never has it crossed their minds that after forty some years of the perfect marriage that they would be finding love and comfort from someone else. The families probably know the other person. Why else would they be so daring as to go into public with one another?

A younger guy, probably in college, sits on his computer in the corner where the light is dimmer. He's got that whole indie look going on for him, except that his clothes are too small for him. His shirt is too tight and his pants are well past high waters. He hastily sprays colon on him and throws it back into his bag and tries to comb though his hair with this fingers. After cheating on his girlfriend, who has just walked in, he buttoned his shirt up wrong, skipping one. She kisses him and smiles at him. Guilt is slowly consuming him and he won't be able to keep this up for much longer. He will either snap and tell her or she'll be the insecure girl she is and look though his phone and find that he's been talking to some other girl for over half their relationship.

A family with a new baby girl sit eating in silence. They look up at each other and give one another meaningful glances. The baby doesn't not belong to the man. While he has blond hair, light skin and blue eyes, the child is dark skinned, has black hair and caramel eyes. It's obvious to anyone that the child is not his, all except him. He probably can't have children or his wife cheated on him with someone close who will not take responsibility for it. He most likely comes from a strict home where divorce would be seen as failure, which is probably what his parents tell him he is. With this child, he could get into the good graces of his family, even though it's tearing him up inside.

The waitress is in her mid forties. She's too thin for her height, she has in fake diamond ring and her front teeth are fake. She was potentially one of the most popular girls at her high school. Most likely on the cheer leading squad. For her size, she had to have been a flier. Probably a jealous spotter, weighting probably around the same as she did, felt it unjust that she was a flier and not her. She probably worked harder and longer that this girl did, only to have it shoved in her face that saw was not good enough. At a football game, she forgot to catch her and let her fall flat on her face. That was the only way she thought justice would have been served. But she didn't think that her little stunt would get her kicked off the squad. Everything that she had worked for was ruined. And on top of that, she had to pay for the two front teeth.

Now, none of these people could ever be dangerous. They could never kill another human being. All of them are so caught up if their own pathetic little lives that they never think of who walks around them daily. I, however, do think about this. How many serial killers have looked at me today? How many of them have wanted to kill me? How many of them have gotten this close to just taking me away?

I want to know how many times I have come that close to being picked off this planet. I want to understand my mortality more. Everyone needs to understand that not one person is so great that they are left out of this unforgiving loop. You will die. When? No one knows, but it is the one sure thing in life. You don't have to live, you don't have to do anything. Except die.

A seemingly normal middle aged man enters the diner. I have never seen him before. He's wearing a floral shirt. He is not from here and the way he walks shows that he doesn't harbor same sex tendencies. He looks at me and seems startled by my eye contact with him. He looks away and his face flushes. I don't look away.

The same old waitress walks over and takes his order. Black coffee. He doesn't like to break his cycle. He has over five cups of coffee a day from the shape his teeth are in. He tries to use teeth whitener, but they never work. He keeps looking back over at me and his leg is bouncing up and down. Still, I don't look away.

"Sweetie," the waitress says to me as she takes away my plate. Took her long enough. "You've been here for hours and yer creepin' out the customers. Come swing by tomorrow, will ya?" I don't reply back. I wait until she is completely in the kitchen before I gather my things and leave.

Even though I said before that nothing goes unnoticed, I am still vulnerable to making this mistake. I do not notice the man from the diner follow me outside. I do not notice the gun in his hand and I do not notice him until he is right behind me, shoving the gun hard into my back to force me into his car.

I will be missing for three days before a group of elementary students on their way home discover my body in the park. My murder will never be caught and he will go on to kill twenty-five more girls in two years before he is diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer. He will die with loved ones alone. His last thought will be of my face staring at him in the diner. His heart will leap into his throat at the thought of me and how hard I had fought back. I, and all the others have been watching him since then. He was not doing all of this unnoticed.

We will be waiting for him.