Tales of Darktown

I rose at seven fourty three this morning. The same as usual. I had nowhere to go, no-one to see, and I wasn't sure who I was today. I looked in the mirror and saw Citizen Kevin. Why did I change my name to something so uptight? I thought, and then remembered it was because at the time, I was an uptight prick. This morning, I was feeling mellow, so I staggered into the kitchen and opened up what was left of the drawer. Various utensils spilled onto the floor, one of which being a rotary phone that looked like it constituted enough as a breakfast meal. Looping my tongue around the circular cord in my mouth, I contemplated various activities I could partake in. Out of nowhere, my stomach began to ring. My entire intestinal lining began to violently shake and tear, and my entire torso began to shred into a pink pile of ooze. The telephone dosen't have voicemail.