So This Is How it Goes

It was the only seat left and I wasn’t going to eat in the yard so the jocks could trample me to death. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I’m used to stares like her and her friend’s. I’m sure everybody gets one of those sooner or later. Not so cute when it’s pretty much everyday, but whatever. I’ve come to call it “The Scavenger Stare”. I can’t really say I’m not a scavenger either. I take what I can out of life and proceed to move through to the next day. Like a song on eternal repeat.

Yet today I feel the loop was stopped. There is something disturbing about her. And the scary thing is, I don’t mean it in a bad way.

Every time that Lucy girl opened her mouth and oozed down a stream of nonsense, the chain would break. There would be no “OMG seriously?!” or “That is sooo kewwl” coming out of her mouth. She would nod in more indifference than approval. Sometimes she would try to tell Lucy how wrong she was, but she was dismissed. She didn’t insist.

In a little flash of bravery I had, I glimpsed at her face while she talked. She wasn’t interested at all. I read weariness and boredom. Like mine. Whoever this person is, she wants nothing to do with the swarm around us.

They got up and left. I think she glanced at me. I can’t be sure because my mind was too convoluted. In any case she couldn’t have noticed my thoughts. Nobody does. Yet for the first time, I kind of want her to. Me, the speck of dust, wants to get noticed. I can already tell this is going to be pathetic.

Oh, damn. What did she look like? Ummm… Got it! Blue shirt, brown hair, hazel eyes. I wish I’d pay more attention to these thing sometimes. I guess I can work with that. I’ll make sure to be close to her next calculus class. Maybe I can, ehhh… who knows? Life will tell.

Only truth is, she doesn’t like this people. And I like that far more than I should.

I think I’m going to stalk this person. You heard me. In these kinds of situations, it’s the only thing to do.

Right?