This Could Be All I've Waited For

It had been a few weeks since all the drama, since Alex had moved out and Jack moved in. I was stlil adjusting, still healing. I woke up one morning alone, wondering where Jack was if he wasn’t in the shower. Sleepily, I walked down the stairs to find him in the kitchen sipping coffee.
“You OK?” I asked Jack
He nodded and put his arms round me, it still felt a little weird – but, in a nice way.
“Let me finish this drink then we can go out or something, just the two of us,”
“Yeah, that would be fun,” I smiled at him and he returned upstairs
I dashed to the store cupboard and took it out. A pregnancy test.
I was being serious this time, the cramping and nausea I was constantly having were making me think that maybe I was geuinely pregnant.
But then – who was the father?
I went to the toilet and waited for the results.
Positive
Positive Positive Positive Positive. The word repeated in my head over and over.
I heard Jack moving upstairs.
What the hell was I going to tell him? And Alex...
I wanted the ground to swallow me up whole.
In a way, the baby was a good thing because I could cover up the lie I’d told previously. But what if it was Jack’s?
I heard him walk down the stairs
“Jess?” He called expectantly
I stupidly hid the test in my pocket, washed my hands and opened the door to see him waiting.
“You were waiting for me to finish?” I smiled cheekily
He laughed a little
“So, shall we go somewhere?” He asked
I nodded and he held his hand out for me to take, which I did.
We took his car and decided a simple trip to the grocery store could be our first “date”.
“I think I should make you dinner tonight,” He said
I smiled at him. I didn’t feel like saying too much incase I said too much and let slip what had happened earlier. I didn’t want to tell him just yet.
I didn’t want to tell him ever, but obviously he was going to find out eventually.
They both were.
“OK, lets get some salad first – pass me the tomato from the bottom shelf please,”
I bent down to my knees to grab some tomatoes, and then as I stood up I heard something drop to the floor.
I instantly knew what it was – the pregnancy test had fallen from my pocket.
“What’s that?” Jack asked from behind me, I turned on my knees – a look of horror on my face as he bent down and picked it up
I watched the expression on his face change from neutral, to confusing to – anger?
But he said nothing, just took the bag of tomatoes from my hand and put the test in hispocket.
Why oh Why?! I asked myself repeatedly.
He didn’t talk to me again. We bought some chicken, pudding and potatoes and left. The car journey was painfully silent and he followed me into the house.
He slammed the door shut and dropped the grocery bags to the floor.
“When were you planning on telling me?” He asked, he sounded angry
“I’m sorry, I-“
“Wait! I thought you were already pregnant?” But something clicked inside of him “Whoa. You lied. Is that all you are? A lying bitch?”
“Hey!” I snapped “I don’t think right now, you are in any position to call me a lying bitch,”
“How many weeks?” He changed the subject
“I don’t know,”
“Is it mine, or is it Alex’s?”
“I DON’T KNOW,”
He picked the food shopping up, his fists were particularly tight around the handles
“Well, what the fuck are we telling Alex?” He asked, slamming the food onto the kitchen counter
“I was thinking I could just go and see him, just tell him once and for all and see what he has to say,” I said quietly “If you came along he’d probably try to kill you,”
I couldn’t look at him, and I don’t think he could look at me either.
“Just call him” He muttered, handing me a phone
“What? I can’t do it now! I need to-“
“Just fucking call him,” His teeth were clenched together
I dialled Alex’s number slowly and Jack didn’t leave the room like I thought he would.
I prayed for the messenge tone.
“Hello?” I hadn’t heard that voice in a while.