This Could Be All I've Waited For

“Morning,” Rian's voice smiled, as his arms wrapped around me, my face buried into his bare chest with a sigh.

“Morning,” I replied as he lifted my chin, kissing me before getting up, putting his shorts on and walking out of the room.

Sitting up I sighed, wrapping my duvet around me. It'd been a few weeks since me and Zack had had that conversation in the car. And it had been a few weeks since I'd told myself that I would break up with Rian.

Yet I hadn't.

A few minutes later he came back, coffee in one had, toast in the other, giving me the toast and climbing back next to me in bed.

“You okay?” He asked with a frown, taking a piece of the toast and biting into it.

“Yeah.” I half smiled, “Just not hungry,”

“Fair enough, you never are this time of day.” He smiled, putting his plate on the bedside table, he pulled me into a hug, his fingers trailing my spine. Suddenly I felt very bare.

Pulling the duvet up behind me, I snuggled closer.

“B, you know how we're going on tour in a few days,” Rian mumbled into my hair. I nodded. “Well, I was talking to the guys the other day, and uhm, if you can get the time off work and stuff. Did you want to come along for a few of the dates?”

Surprised, I lifted my head to look up at him. “Seriously?”

He laughed, planting a kiss on my nose, “Seriously.”

“I'd love too,” I smiled, snuggling into him again. This could work. I thought to myself. I did like Rian.

–

“Are you sure you're going to be okay?” I asked Noah one final time.

“I'll be fine!” He assured me with a smile.

“But what about your finger?”

“Bianca, look, it's fine, nice and healed, now just go!” Noah laughed, pushing me towards Rian and the All Time Low tour bus.

“If you're sure.” I mumbled, “Don't ruin the flat while I'm gone!” I laughed, giving him a quick hug before jumping onto the bus behind Rian.

After a quick tour, I dumped my stuff with his, just as we pulled up at the first venue.

Alex smiled as I walked through to where he was sitting in the sort of, kitchen, dining room, seating area mash up. It was very cramped.

Zack gave me a look as I sat down, Rian's arm around me. I smiled at him and he laughed, getting up, “I'm going to check out the place.”

We all mumbled 'okay's, before I heard coming from the bunks, realising who wasn't sat with us.

“How's it going? With Jack here?” I whispered to Alex.

He shrugged, “How do you expect?”

“I thought you'd cancel the tour or something.”

“We couldn't do that, not just because that prick can't control himself.”

I looked down at my hands, where they were interlocked with Rian's. I sighed, all of a sudden willing them to be Alex's, willing the arm around my shoulders to be Alex's.

Footsteps broke my wishes and thoughts as they drew louder and closer. We all looked at Alex who picked up his phone and started to push some of the buttons just as Jack walked by, looking straight ahead and out of the bus.

I looked at Rian who half shrugged, pulling my up as he stood before taking me out to see the venue, away from the awkward atmosphere in the bus

–

“Are you okay?” I asked, sitting myself down on the floor next to Alex, where we were watching the others sound check.

“No.” He sighed, picking at his shoelaces.

“What's happened?”

“Turns out,” He said, looking away and moving his lips as little as possible, “You know...Jess...” I could see it caused him pain just say her name, “was pregnant.”

“Yeah,”

“Well, turns out she wasn't...then.”

“What?!” I hissed.

He nodded, “And she is now. And she doesn't know if it's mine or Jack's.”

My jaw dropped and I wanted to give him a hug, or something. All of a sudden he looked tired, drained and depressed. The façade he'd been putting on had been taken off.

“You're the only one I feel like I can tell.”

Biting my lip I squeezed his arm, knowing that's as much as I could get away with, Rian right opposite me, setting his drums up and Jack on one end of the stage, plucking his strings on his guitar.

“When did you find this out?”

“About a week or so ago.”

“Alex, listen, if you ever find something this, this awful, you know you can talk to me, just ring me or something.”

“I knew you'd be with Rian.” He replied, looking up to where my boyfriend was making his way over to us.

“Oh.” I mumbled before putting on a grin to Rian.

“You okay?” He asked, smiling and sitting down next to me.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” I assured him.

“Awesome, Alex, they need you to sort out the mic.”

Alex nodded, standing up and walking off to the stage. Rian pulled me closer to him, giving me a quick kiss. “You know,” He smiled, “I already love you being on tour with us.”