Forced Affection

The car trip was silent. I wanted to talk and get the yelling out of the way with Leo but I wasn’t sure how to approach it and well I wasn’t sure how long of a trip we had to his place either.
‘Leo I don’t have anything’ I said in a panic.
‘What?’ he asked confused as if he couldn’t understand that bare concept.
‘Parker I don’t have any pyjamas or bedding or a tooth brush or face wash or any clothes for tomorrow and there is no way in hell I’m wearing this outfit again. And I well I’m scared to be with you honestly’ I said trying to explain myself. Did I really want to spend the night alone with him? What would happen? Was I safe? Was I stupid for doing this? Would anyone notice if I went missing though was the biggest question I had in mind?
‘Cortez if we are speaking honestly then I think we should wait to get to the apartment.’ Leo said quietly and winding down his window a bit to let some cool fresh air in as he began rubbing the bridge of his nose again.
‘Yeah and that is what I’m scared of’ I have mumbled to myself.
‘I have a shirt and some shorts you can borrow for pyjamas, bedding-I will allow you to share mine this once-I have spare toothbrushes also. Face wash? Um I think Ashlea has left some here and well there is some of Ashlea's clothes here that you can borrow tomorrow until we go to the house and then you can change’ Leo said ignoring my comment.
‘Are we sharing the same bed?’ I quizzed.
‘Yes’ Leo muttered.
‘Funny and you said I would never see the inside of your apartment just today’ I responded feeling relax around him while we were still in the car.
‘Yeah well I would still be happier if you weren’t coming here’ Leo snapped.
‘Well then hire a fucking motel. Why don’t you want me there?’ I shouted back in a confined space.
‘Because Hallie this is my place, I bought it with my own money and I can escape to it whenever I want. If I take you there it feels like it will be somewhat your place as well and I don’t want that’ Leo shouted back as he slowed down when we got near a massive apartment building that looked absolutely amazing.
‘Well if that’s how you feel about it just get me a hotel and I will stay out of your hair’ I snapped back.
‘Don’t be stupid you wouldn’t be safe there, you would just be a bigger problem for me then. We will just share this place for now. Fuck’ Leo snapped pulling into the underground car park and trying to find a card in his Porsche for the parking space I assume.
‘Well what aren’t I good enough to come here?’ I snapped rhetorically ‘Must not be slutty enough. Bet Skye has been here.’ I finished childishly.
‘Are you fucking serious? You are acting like a jealous girlfriend that I could break up with at any moment!’ Leo snapped hitting the door as he tried to find the parking permit.
‘Yeah well I’m not. I mean I don’t want to be your girlfriend and we can’t just break up like that. I wish. I’m just playing the fucking role because that feels like what I have to do!’ I yelled back at him and saw the parking permit card sitting at my feet. I leant down and picked it up and handed it to him.
‘Thanks. Well I preferred the psycho Hallie that wasn’t some obsessive bitch’ Leo snapped back swiping the permit and driving into his reserved car car.
‘Obsessive bitch? Nice.’ I mumbled back waiting for him to park. As soon as he did I got out of the car and slammed the car door as hard as I could. The window rattled and the frame looked as if it was going to buckle under my anger and the fire symbol burnt on the back of my neck. Leo lightly shut his door and rolled his eyes at me.
‘Well fucking done Cortez. Acting like the psycho bitch now’ Leo muttered locking the door and walking towards the lift at the end of the car park.
‘Well I can’t keep up with the one you want remember?’ I snapped as I followed after him.
‘Hallie. Don’t be the one I want. Be the one you are! For fuck sake you yelled at Skye for that and you can’t even take your own advice. If someone is fucking around with you don’t change for them stand up for yourself and deal with it yourself! Wasn’t that your main point tonight? Take your own advice and grow up. I know you’re in pain and I will help you as much as you will let me but don’t fucken stand here and yell at me for changing. I’ve haven’t changed for you and I sure as hell aren’t going to! Remember we aren’t here by choice. I don’t love you and honestly I don’t even care how we are suppose to be acting we aren’t getting married because that is what we want-this is just a business deal’ Leo yelled back at me giving me the serving I deserved after the restaurant. He didn’t even bother waiting for my response. He went into the elevator and pushed the foyer button. I walked in next to him and stood there.
‘Are we going to discuss tonight?’ I asked as the doors closed and the elevator started going up. I hoped by putting the spotlight back onto the previous issue I wouldn’t have to deal with his outburst that had crushed me.
‘Depends. Is that what you’re afraid of?’ Leo asked as the elevator came to a stop.
‘No. I’m afraid of what happens after it when the silence sets in and I have my thoughts all to myself’ I replied as I followed him and walked towards the front desk.
‘We will talk about it upstairs.’ Leo replied to me when he got to the front counter.
‘Messages?’ he questioned the guy that sat behind the desk.
‘Nope. Well there was 2 chicks, one named Melinda and the other Gina but I ignored them something about having fun. And then one from your mother about 10 minutes ago’ the guy finished.
‘Really a Gina? What was that message I can’t even remember a Gina?’ Leo asked leaning on the desk. I leant around Leo and looked at the guys name tag-Markus. He was no doubt Italian and very fine looking but as soon as he smiled I saw the fangs and my heart rushed. I wished it didn’t do that, I knew they heard it and I tried to ignore it.
‘Gina. Nope can’t say I remember her either. However she came in in person and believe me she is not nearly as pretty as that doll. That one is most definitely a keeper’ Markus said winking at me.
‘Gina. It has still got me. Are you sure?’ Leo asked rather concerned.
‘Oh like this would be the first time you couldn’t remember some chick?’ I snapped getting impatient.
‘For your information’ Leo began as he turned around and leant on the counter ‘It isn’t the first time. BUT I never bring women here therefore I don’t know how she knows where I live or how she got my number-I don’t give this one out’ Leo answered feeling smug.
‘Please if that were the case how did the Melinda chick get your number?’ I asked knowing I had out smarted him.
‘Melinda is my secretary and about 210years old, you met her tonight when we arrived at restaurant’ Leo replied thinking he had bet me.
‘So why had she rang up for fun?’ I asked standing there defensively, but I could remember the lady he was talking about.
‘Fun? I don’t know. What was the exact message?’ Leo asked Markus.
‘Wait a second why I find it. Ok here it is-forms finished, they were no fun but still better than the tax returns. Please make sure you have filled out the application before the next meeting I don’t want to be embarrassed again that was your mistake. I will see you at dinner tonight briefly. Yep that’s it’ Markus finished.
‘Fuck. I don’t know where that form is. Oh well. Gina it has still got me. Fuck who is she?’ Leo snapped again as he started pacing back and forward. Why couldn’t he do this in his freaking room??
‘What was the message from his mother?’ I asked ignoring Leo and leaning over the counter to Markus.
‘Excuse me?’ Markus questioned.
‘Well didn’t you say his mother rang like 10 mins ago?’ I asked.
‘Yes, but I can’t give that information out to you’ Markus said as if I was an idiot.
‘Oh, this is Cortez’ Leo said still pacing.
‘Oh fuck. The fiancé. Wow nice to meet you. Extremely pretty this one. Don’t fuck it up. Wow you must be like the first girl that isn’t related to Leo to ever come here.’ Markus said as Leo looked shocked.
‘Shut up and get me the message’ Leo replied leaning back on the counter next to me.
‘If there is one scratch on her you will regret it. And make sure you don’t give her any whore’s clothes. Charming message really’ Markus read out. I couldn’t help but laugh. Well at least she was looking out for me.
‘Gina are you sure it wasn’t Jena?’ Leo asked.
‘Don’t know does she have a British accent?’ Markus asked Leo.
‘Yes. Then it would be the journalist that wants the rights to our story I mean the story’ Leo said looking at me. ‘How do you stuff that up and forget to tell me she had an accent?’ Leo questioned Markus.
‘It must have slipped my mind’ Markus said shrugging his shoulders.
‘Yeah well it must of otherwise I would have just been able to read it. Anyway we are going up. Have a good night’ Leo finished walking away as I waved to Markus and followed Leo to the elevator. The doors closed and he hit the Penthouse. Yep he loved this moment. I pretended not to care.

‘This is it’ Leo said unlocking the door and walking in. It opened up into a lounge room that had a whole window as a wall that had a balcony that looked out over the whole city. The view was spectacular and the apartment was one that couldn’t even be imagined it was that awesome.
‘Tonight?’ I asked speaking about my outburst as I sat down on his couch and he walked into a kitchen and got a drink.
‘You pissed off a lot of people and still managed to impress the right ones’ Leo answered walking back into the lounge and over to the bar.
‘So I pissed off everyone but?’ I asked.
‘Arianna loves you. Believe me she may as well just make you a shrine in her head for you. Craig was happy you stood up for yourself and didn’t discriminate by yelling at everyone individually however he thought you were pretty game for having a go at him. Ash knew you were going to do it and was ready for I’ Leo said but I cut off.
‘So why didn’t you stop me?’ I asked thinking that probably would have been best.
‘I didn’t know what you were going to see, I wasn’t focusing on Ashlea’s thoughts so I didn’t pay much attention to it anyway Drew is almost considering you a friend now rather than just my um...thing. And well Skye is fucking devastated, in her mind I was to come to her rescue. Jensen thinks of you differently-he thinks you’re a challenge now for him to conquer. And well Penelope and Martin can’t stand you’ Leo finished sitting next to me on the couch.
‘I’m scared of Craig. I thought he was going to kill me’ I mumbled.
‘Nope he was embarrassed but, didn’t want to kill you. Martin did. Drew was working overtime keeping him from getting up and taking your head off. Wish he had tried it, I would have loved it’ Leo said taking a sip of his drink.
‘What?’ I snapped could he say any more openly he wanted me dead?
‘I would have had to protect since we are suppose to be in love and shit. I could of killed him-one less problem and a good night out if you ask me’ Leo said, the comment caught me off guard but I hid it.
‘I was ready I would have taken him myself I don’t need you to protect me’ I replied still wishing Martin had attacked me-then I could use all this anger and pain raging inside me on someone who wasn’t suppose to matter.
‘Janine wanted to have a go at you as well. Boy does she hate you? I never thought she could hate. Really she has been pissed off at me at times and loathed a few rare individuals but she really doesn’t like you’ Leo said finishing his drink.
‘I never had a chance at impressing her though did I? No doubt she wanted you and Skye to live happily ever after’ I mocked knowing that my pain was fuelling the conversation now.
‘Nah you had no chance. She always had it planned that I would end up with Skye that is why she and Arianna have their differences. Anyway Jensen isn’t going to stop bugging you, and Craig is asking him to stay and learn the family business so we don’t get rid of him tonight like we do Martin and Penny’ Leo said closing his eyes next to me. I turned and faced him.
‘I don’t like Jensen. I didn’t think they were leaving until next week?’ I thought out loud.
‘Change of plans after your outburst. Plans always change Cortez’ Leo yawned again sceptically.
‘Did you want to be with Skye?’ I asked not really wanting to ask but felt as if I had to ask it just to know where I stood in all this.
‘No I never have. She has only ever been another chick’ Leo said looking at me this time.
‘What about you? Tonight? I mean I don’t care what you think but I um want to know’ I asked knowing this is where the argument would break out.
‘You were so far out of line. And you embarrassed me more than I ever thought possible.’ Leo began looking at me still. I felt the pressure and disgust in his voice and I wanted to look away from him but couldn’t bring myself to doing so. I stayed quiet as he continued.
‘I couldn’t believe you went as far as Craig and Martin. I couldn’t believe you yelled at Ashlea, she has been so supportive of you. And you called Skye a home wrecker, you don’t even know her. You just put your pain into it. I wanted to stop you but I wanted to hear what you had to say at the same time, like what you were really feeling was revealed.’ Leo said still talking about everyone else, he wasn’t getting to where I wanted him to-which was me yelling at him.
‘And well when you got to me I honestly wanted to pick you up and just leave. Had we not shared this bond; I don’t think pride would have even stopped me attacking you. I couldn’t believe you were so dumb to yell at me in front of everyone. I understand you are in pain, but you could have waited. You react so explosively. I knew after finding out about your family that you would have to let off steam eventually which is why I suggested we didn’t go out tonight. I guess you were lucky we had a private room, because if the media had gotten that-wow you would be eaten alive. Hallie remember everyone wants to prove that this won’t work and if you give them and inch they will take a mile. So stop acting so childishly and carelessly and start thinking before you do stuff’ Leo said calmly, giving me a lecture I didn’t want. His calm tone through me off- I had never wanted to yell at him more than I did right now. But you know what the say-don’t ask questions unless you can handle the answer.
‘Yeah well I was doing what I thought was right? And believe me that wasn’t only from the pain of finding out about my family! These emotions have been brewing for years. You don’t understand what it is like! I have been taken from everything I knew Leo. Tonight was me reaching the breaking point. There is only so many times you can be called and whore and keep quiet! Besides I only said what was on everyone’s mind for the others as well; there was no way I was only going to yell at a few and leave some out!’ I snapped getting defensive.
‘Cortez you don’t think I understand? Out of everyone don’t you think I would understand the most! Fuck can’t you just listen Hallie you shouldn’t have done it. As much as you hate it there is a hierarchy and you blew it tonight! Still I was glad you did it and yelled at everyone, not just the ones that was ruining your night but...’ Leo shouted back at me not using his calm tone any more.
‘Leo you can’t just blame me. I went there with you-doing what I was suppose; pretending to be your fiancé who wanted this. I did that and I know that you understand partly what I’m going through but you haven’t been taken out of your comfort zone. You are still with your friends and family, you are still with your own kind. You are still safe. Tonight I was already emotionally I have been all day and then with those comments that I know you could hear I did what I had to to look after myself. You all forgot that it wasn’t like I just jumped up and started abusing everyone I had been provoked all night long. I was just looking after myself’ I answered so coldly that even Leo looked taken back by my tone.
‘Ok I get you are out of your comfort zone. I also get that you are in pain but you wanted to go out I warned you what the night you be like. I know you can look after yourself and I know that is what you think you were doing but I think you caused yourself a bigger problem. Still it is a change from me usually ruining the family dinners’ Leo finished smirking at his last comment. I felt grateful for the conversation but still felt I had to defend myself.
‘Shut up’ I mumbled back as I leant back on the couch feeling exhausted but being unable to stop thinking.
‘Was I in any real danger there tonight after I had the outburst?’ I asked looking at the ceiling.
‘Yeah I think you would have been if Drew wasn’t there. Janine wanted you dead and that really surprised me and Martin. If he had gotten up to hurt you though I would have taken care of him’ Leo mumbled.
‘What about Skye? Did I crush her?’ I asked.
‘She kept replaying it in her head and it hurt her but I think it just pissed her off more. Good luck’ Leo laughed still with his eyes closed. I didn’t hesitate or even think about what I was doing. He was mine and I could do whatever I wanted. I leant over and kissed him on the lips. He kissed me back and then I pulled away.
‘Um I just. Um you know’ I say getting nervous. I couldn’t control my heart rate and I knew he understood. I wanted him-but felt as if I couldn’t actually want him. After all he was the Prince of Darkness.
‘Yeah I know’ he answered looking away. I guess he felt just as awkward. We should keep all emotions and contact to a bare minimum I thought.
‘Pyjamas?’ I asked trying to change the topic.
‘Hmmm. I’ll go get you stuff. C’mon’ he said walking away making me follow him to his room.
He threw me an old shirt of his. ‘Do you need shorts or pants?’ he asked as I went into the bathroom and took off the dress. I slipped on the shirt and realised it was rather long but I still felt uncomfortable.
‘Yes please. I’m cold can I have some trackies?’ I asked leaning on the door.
‘Here’ Leo said immediately opening the door and handing me some girls dark blue track suit pants.
‘Whose are these?’ I asked trying to make small talk.
Leo walked into the bathroom just wearing some boxer shorts leaving his perfectly toned chest left out for me to see. My heart rate increased again and the blood ran to my cheeks-something that good should be touched! Surely he knew the effect he had on people.
‘Ashlea’s from memory otherwise they could be my cousins when she lived here while I was in Italy for a while’ Leo said walking over to the basin and opening one of the cupboard doors. He pulled out a tooth brush still in the wrapper and some face wash that I assumed was Ashlea’s.
‘Italy? How long did you spend there?’ I asked opening the tooth brush and beginning to brush my teeth.
‘About a year’ Leo said before grabbing his tooth brush and walking out of the bathroom leaving me alone again. I guess the conversation was over.
I walked back into his room wearing a pair of tracksuit pants and an old shirt. All the makeup was removed from my face and my hair was cascading down my back in a messy wave, my teeth freshly cleaned.
Leo walked back into the room took one glance at me and smiled. He didn’t say anything and to be perfectly honest if he had he probably would have ruined the moment. It was nice and simple.
I walked over to the balcony. ‘Can we go out?’ I asked as he went and put his toothbrush back in the bathroom.
‘I think it would be best if we stay inside’ Leo replied walking over to the bed.
‘Is there any reason why?’ I asked placing my hand on the cold glass longing to be out of here and free.
‘Because I’m...because...um well...you...um’ Leo tried and failed miserably.
‘Spit it out Parker!’ I said half heartedly laughing.
‘Tonight you smell exceptionally good and slayerish. Like human and stuff. And well it wouldn’t be safe especially if some tracker caught your scent’ Leo said sitting on his bed looking awkward.
‘Does my smell annoy you?’ I asked walking over to the bed.
‘Annoy? No why would you think that?’ Leo asked almost shocked.
‘I don’t know I just asked the first thing that popped into my head hoping you would know what I meant and answer the question I wanted’ I said reaching the spare side of his queen size bed, with the Egyptian cotton and black donna cover.
‘What question was that?’ Leo asked nodding to the bed.
‘I don’t know how to ask it. I mean I have no idea how to phrase the actual question so I can’t ask’ I laughed sitting on the very edge of the bed, furthers away from Leo as possible.
‘Hmm one of those questions. Well how would you answer it?’ Leo asked leaning on the back of the bed feeling more relaxed about the conversation I guess.
The idea of answering the question made me go bright red. I didn’t want to tell him that thinking about him turned me on and made my heart race, that his smell made me smile and his touch sent shivers through my body and most of all I certainly didn’t want to tell him that just by glancing at me and smirking made me think that I couldn’t live without him anymore; even if it wasn’t love it was definitely some sort of longing.
‘Oh it is one of those questions’ Leo said smirking.
‘No it’s not’ I replied as quick as I could.
‘Wow I so wish I could read your mind right now’ Leo said smirking even more, as the blood continue racing to my cheeks making me go even redder.
‘Hmm that response is something I enjoy seeing you struggle with. I bet you go red at a lot of stuff don’t you?’ Leo said smirking even though I still couldn’t function enough to save myself.
‘Well I can’t control all my bodies’ functions’ I snapped trying to calm myself down and turn less red.
‘Oh no I understand that especially when your heart rate increases at my presence, your breathing increases at my touch and when I say Hallie you automatically smile even when we are fighting. Believe me Cortez I know you can’t control your body’ Leo said chuckling to himself.
‘Wow stalker much?’ I responded childishly. What else was I suppose to do in that moment?
‘Yeah something like that’ Leo replied. I guess that wasn’t the answer he wanted.
‘Well?’ I questioned trying to salvage the situation.
‘Well what?’ Leo asked confused.
‘You clearly know what question I was trying to ask don’t you? You answered it. But what about you? Do I have any effect on you?’ I asked the last part extremely quietly.
‘On me?’ Leo asked raising his eyebrow.
‘Yeah you clearly know what you can do to me. So what about me to you? Do I do anything? Or am I that repulsive? Is this really just a business contract?’ I asked a little more confident but so afraid of rejection.
‘Repulsive? No I could never think of you as that, even when we met. You automatically intrigued me. Hmm still not much makes my heart race like yours. But I don’t know. I don’t want to tell you that the idea of being with you excites me. Or your presence makes me feel different, that your eyes feel as if they are looking into me and reading my thoughts, even though I can’t read yours. Hallie just being near you makes me want to look after you and protect you, even if it means protecting you from me, I don’t think this was ever destined to be just a business contact-but it would have made it easier. And well the scent of your blood. I can’t explain that. I long for it, the same way I long to touch you; I have never wanted anything more and believe me-it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. But I just can’t hurt you’ Leo finished frowning but not looking at me. As soon as he finished he took a deep breath and I took in everything he had said.
‘I had no idea I would ever have that effect on someone, let alone you. I’m sure that is what every girl wants a guy to feel’ I said looking at him even though he tried to avoid eye contact.
‘Please Hallie you have an effect on everyone. I don’t think you realise how much you grab everyone’s attention just by simply being present’ Leo said sounding almost annoyed.
‘Excuse me?’ I said confused. I had no idea what he meant.
‘You. You-just um. Let me give an example. Hmmm when I walk into a room everyone looks and most people pay attention because of who I am and my name. When someone like Skye walks into a room the only people that remember her are shy guys that don’t have much confidence and have never spoken to a girl before and girls that are insecure and wish they looked like that. You. When you walk into a room everyone pays attention to you. Not because of how you smell or look but because of your presence. When I walked into Alavantas terminal I didn’t need to ring Lucas to know where you were. I mean I could hear you somehow but I could literally follow the people that were thinking of you and it would have led me straight to you. Tonight with the media they weren’t phased about me-they have always been around me I’m like a regular honestly but you, your I don’t know different. They seemed drawn to you and I’m sure that even if you weren’t with me they would have been just as drawn to you. I’m sure of it’ Leo said with a very focused face on as he sat immaculately still.
‘I’ve never felt like that though. I’m so used of being ignored and feeling like the outsider’ I say still confused even though I understood what he meant-I just didn’t think it applied to me.
‘Please you haven’t been ignored by people around you ever I would think’ Leo replied finally looking at me.
‘Are you serious?’ I asked.
‘Serious!’ Leo responded.
‘Have you seen my friends? I was always the plain one. I have been always compared to them. Believe me I never got a second glance’ I said hating opening up to Leo even though it felt right.
‘Well they’ve got nothing on you now’ Leo finished letting us fall into a comfortable silence as I felt one tear slide silently down my face. The moment made me think of my family and friends; and how much I missed them, but more worst how much I didn’t. The worst part of all this was knowing that I classed Leo as my family already, that I was feeling a feeling I had never felt before and one that I had always refused to feel-love. What hurt me the most though was wondering if he would ever feel the same way?