Forced Affection

The drive to the hospital was hostile. I hadn’t spoken to my parents other than what was necessary. I had nothing to say to them and well honestly they didn’t want to know what I was really thinking.
‘You were very cosy this morning’ my mother said to me as I sat in the passenger seat next to her. Leo had driven here with my father for some bonding time or some crap. I therefore was stuck with my mother.
‘Was I?’ I asked staring out the window, wanting nothing more than to ignore everything this woman would say.
‘Well when I came in with breakfast you were fast asleep in Leo’s arms and he was quiet content with you being there. Very different to the last time I saw you two together. Not threatening to kill each other now?’ my mother tried to make conversation.
‘Whatever I don’t care. Can you just focus on finding a park?’ I say as we turn into the parking for the hospital. My mother didn’t respond rather she just sighed and found a park.
‘Hallie you have no idea how hard this is, how hard everything is’ my mother started lecturing as we got out of the car. I ignored her and walked away, leaving her at the car getting an umbrella as I just let the rain fall over me. By the time I had gotten to the door I had left my mother and was almost saturated.
I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, I ignored everyone around me and if any had tried speaking to me I would have made them feel like scum because I just wanted to get away from the limelight. I was by myself but still the cameras were flashing and journalists were shouting questions at me. I ignored everything they had said and got to the elevator in which the guards finally arrived and moved the journalists out onto the lobby away from most people.
In the elevator I was with a doctor.
‘Miss Cortez, we were expecting you soon. Shall Mr. Parker be joining you?’ the doctor asked as if I should know him.
‘Excuse me. Who are you?’ I asked rudely enough for others to sense my dissatisfaction of being disturbed had they been around.
‘Sorry, I’m Dr. Anthony Michaels, your brother’s doctor’ Dr. Michaels informed me.
‘I’m here by myself, Parker will arrive soon’ I say as the elevator door opens and I walk into the intensive care unit.
‘This way’ the doctor says to me indicating I should follow. I follow him down a white corridor to the end room, the door is closed and the name Cortez, Alexander is written on the plaque.
‘Could you please give me some time alone?’ I ask the doctor as my hand reaches the handle.
‘Of course, I shall make sure no one disturbs you’ the doctor said walking away. I turned and just leaned on the door. I hated it. I hated hospitals-why were they so white and bright? There was no personality here, it wasn’t inviting. In fact it just looked like a stop before death. I hated being here and most of my life I tried my best to avoid them, but here I was because my stupid careful brother was ambushed by a bunch of filthy bloodsucking vamps. The anger had returned this time mixed with pain.
I sighed and twisted the door handle, pushing it open it was something I should never have ever seen. Jake was right, nothing would prepare me for this. Alex was in a single bed in the middle of the room, like every hospital room. He had a room to himself and an observation window; he was a high profile case after all. There were so many machines connected to him that it made me feel sick just looking at him. I bit my lip and felt the anger be over powered with hurt. Why was he like this? Why wouldn’t he wake up? Why was everyone so settled with this? Why were they not looking for revenge?
Alex lay motionlessly, I stood perfectly still in the corner. There were bruises all over his face, his left leg in a cast and bite marks on his wrist and neck, there was scratches over his face and his eyes closed shut. His lips were swollen and a gash on his head was visible out the side of a bandage that hadn’t quiet covered it all.
I could help it. I wanted yell and kick and scream. I took a step closer afraid of what I would do if I got to close.
‘Alex how could you be so stupid?’ I snapped ‘I’m the one that was careless. Fuck why would you do this?’ I snapped a bit louder taking another step next to him.
‘Why would you leave me? You said you would always be here? Why? What did you do? Why were you and Mason alone? Seriously what was with your plan? You always yelled at me about mine. I never paid enough attention and now look I’m alive and you’re stuck here! Mason is dead and it is your fault’ I shout as I kick the end of his bed hard enough for my toe to hurt but not to shake the bed drastically.
‘Why leave me with them? You promised to come and get me. I should never have left’ I cried as the tears found their way back to sliding down my cheek.
‘Answer me damn it! I hate you.’ I snap as I hit the bed. Of course he doesn’t move, he continues to lay motionless the only noise coming from the machines around him-buzzing to keep him alive.
‘I hate you’ I snapped again as the tears ran down my face, my vision blurred. I hit the bed one more time and fell to the ground crying. There was no point he was dead and would never be here for me again.
I sat on the ground rocking back and forth crying, the tears weren’t stopping and the sobbing was getting louder. I just wanted to hurt Alex. He had made me so angry and felt so stupid. Why had he done it? I was the one everyone used to warn about being stupid-not him?
‘It should have been me’ I sobbed loudly as I kicked the bed and hit the wall not being able to stop the pain. I just wanted to be hurt to feel something, to make sure I was still alive.
At possibly my worst moment in my life, having a mental break down in a hospital my parents walk into the room, with my other two brothers; Joshua and Christopher.
‘Hallie’ my mother cries seeing the blood on my hand and the mascara down my face. Alex’s bed had now been moved and machines were going furious at the movement, nurses and doctors came rushing in and I wanted everyone to leave and get away from him.
My father grabbed me and pulled me out into the hallway. Josh, the doctor he was stayed in the room to help, mother was crying furiously and yelling at me. Christopher was standing dumb founded in the hallway.
‘This was your fault’ my mother yelled at me.
‘My fault? How the fuck is it my fault? You brought me here, you were the one that wanted to play happy families when your son is dying’ I shout back as I push my father off me and turn around. Chris grabs me and holds me close to his chest.
‘Hallie she is upset she doesn’t mean it’ he whispers to me.
‘Upset? Fuck her being upset. I’m completely lost and Alex is in a comma. Why isn’t everyone trying to help him’ I snap as I push Chris off me and into a wall.
‘Hallie control yourself’ my father, Jack shouts and he lets go of mum and comes to my side.
‘Get away from me’ I snap as I have my back against the wall.
‘I didn’t cause this’ I muttered as I fell to the ground again. And just like that my family froze; they didn’t know what to do. All standing dumbfounded I sobbed loudly.
‘He is my twin. I never wanted anything like this to happen. Why did back up not go as soon as they rang for it?’ I shouted knowing damn well it was Chris and Jack who were there back up in any hunt-they always had been.
Chris shook his head and Jack looked away.
‘Go on say it. Say it! You were busy; you weren’t expecting them to need back up. None of you followed procedure. The procedure I was always punished for not following’ I yelled at them as I stood back up. My anger had returned and they would get the wrath of it now.
‘Hallie, please lower your voice’ my mother asked.
‘Why mother? Because people might find out that it was your fault. That it was Alex or Mason’s fault; it wasn’t because they were ambushed but because the backup didn’t take the call seriously or because you didn’t pass it on quick enough? Isn’t that right mother? You would have been the one at home and you missed the call’ I shouted as I lashed out at her ‘you’re the reason Mason is dead and Alex may as well be’ I said as coldly as I could have ever spoken.
‘Hallie’ my father snapped as he slapped me across the face. I didn’t hesitate. I pushed him and kicked him into a wall. My father hit the wall and slumped to the ground. Chris tried to grab me as I pushed him away as hard as I could as well.
‘I’m more powerful you fool’ I snapped at Chris and turned to my mother.
‘Admit it. You are the reason they are dead’ I say as my mother slaps me across the face one more time and before I could react Leo grabbed me. I don’t know where he had appeared from, or what had taken him so long but he was here now. I collapse into his arms. He knows I wasn’t going to move. Leo picks me up and takes me away from my family. He sits me on a chair and calls a nurse over to deal with the blood on my knuckles. As the nurse fixes me I sit there silent not moving, hardly breathing and only occasionally blinking.

I had left Hallie with the nurse, her blood was over powering and I wanted nothing more than to lick it away, to just taste the red fluid than ran so freely from her body. I took a deep breath and controlled myself. I wanted one good reason not to kill her family. I was so angry at them, I had defended them and still her mother turns around and blames Hallie for what happened to her brother. But I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose Hallie and I knew damn well that I would have to choose my words wisely now if I didn’t want another fight on my hands.
‘Where is Hallie?’ her older brother Chris asked as soon as he saw me approach the end of the corridor.
‘Getting fixed by the nurse, there was a bit more blood than I expected’ I say trying not to think about the blood.
‘I need to see her’ Chris started.
‘I don’t think that is a wise idea’ I say placing one hand on Chris’s chest and refusing to let him walk any further.
‘Excuse me’ Chris tried to start on me. In one move I could snap his neck I thought to myself.
‘Christopher’ Jack called from behind. ‘Give her space’ he finished.
‘What you are going to listen to this leech? That is your daughter, she is my sister and after what she just did I need to make sure she is ok. Why the hell would mum blame her?’ Chris snapped at his father. I never expected a warm welcome coming here, but I guess I expected them to treat me the same way my family did Hallie-I guess I was asking for too much.
‘Because Christopher out of all of us Leo is the only one not overwhelmed with emotions and I hate to say this, but besides Alex-I think he is the only one really caring for Hallie. Now go and check on your mother. I want to speak to Leo privately’ Jack ordered his son. And just like that Chris followed his father’s orders.
‘Leo is she ok?’ Jack asked immediately.
‘Besides being entirely heartbroken, in pain that her twin is in a comma and her mother blaming her? I think she will be fine’ I couldn’t help but snap.
‘Her mother didn’t mean it, she was hurt and upset. Maria has spent all her time here since it happened and seeing Hallie today it hurt her, she can’t look at Hallie without seeing Alex’ Jack said as he flinched at my comment.
‘Yeah well Hallie should not be blamed for this. She has never seen her brother like that. I can’t believe you let her see him by herself; of course she was going to need support. I should have been there’ I say partly angry at her family, the rest at myself.
‘Leo, Maria already thinks it is a mistake to have her engaged to you. Please don’t let me re think this whole arrangement. I know my daughter and I know what she needs’ Jack attempts to threaten me.
‘Please, Hallie wouldn’t leave now. She doesn’t know where she belongs any more-I think there is more chance of her staying with me than there is of her ever coming back here again. You do know that if Alex dies there will be no reason for her to ever call this place home’ I reply harshly.
‘Why do you think Maria is trying so hard for Alex to wake up? You don’t think we don’t realise that Hallie has changed. We know she hates us; she hasn’t spoken to me since a month before she left with you. My daughter has never been so damn stubborn. Don’t you think we know that if Alex dies, we won’t lose one child but both?’ Jack snapped back in a tone of concern. It was at then I knew her parents weren’t bad. It was Hallie, she was hurt and she felt rejected that was why she pushed them away so much. She felt she had to remain strong.
‘Believe me I know how stubborn your daughter is, which is why I think I might take her back to your home and give her some space before the funeral. To be perfectly honest if she goes I will be surprised’ I say back to Jack with all the respect I could muster.
‘Here take the keys, please Leo help her. I could never get through to that girl-if there is one thing she doesn’t do well it is her emotions. And with this fight, the funeral will be hell’ he whispered sounding like a defeated old man. From his thoughts I could tell he had already given up, for him the war with his daughter was loss. He would never have the strength to try and make her understand. I felt sorry for him, and believe me that had never really happened before.
‘She will be there. I will make sure’ I say turning away and going back to Hallie, hoping her pain had subsided, because if there was one thing I couldn’t handle it is her pain.

‘C’mon I’m taking you home’ Leo says as soon as he walks back into the room. My anger had subsided and now all I could feel was pain. I was hurting more than ever before.
‘Leo can we leave? This was a mistake’ I say hoping he would let us go from Estralia.
‘Hallie this is something you can’t run from. You have a funeral and you will be there to pay respects to your uncle Mason. Now do you want me to find a hotel or just go back to the house?’ he asked.
‘House’ I mutter leaning on him as he led me out of the hospital, to the car and away from my family again.

I had felt numb the entire funeral. We had been standing in the rain at the burial ground for about half an hour now. I was cold, but couldn’t feel it. I had not spoken to Calvin or Luka, I could not face them. I stood next to Joshua and Leo. My mother was trying to make her speech. I was not listening and was unable to pay attention. I felt sick and was pretty sure I would pass out at any moment.
The pressure was getting to me; I took a deep breath and tried to steady my heart rate.
‘Leo’ I whispered as I fell to the ground. Leo grabbed me just before I landed in the mud I was standing in. I heard my mother gasp half way through her speech and I felt everything go dark.

I caught her only a second before hitting the ground. I knew it was going to happen, I could sense her uneasiness. She had been breathing heavier and couldn’t lower her heart rate.
Her mother immediately stopped her speech and ran to our side, Joshua began finding a pulse.
‘She is stable’ Joshua said as her eyes flickered open.
‘Get away from me’ she mumbled pushing me away and standing back up.
‘I’m fine. Mother get back to the podium, I want this over and done with’ she snapped. I glanced around as everyone turned away and Maria went back to the podium to finish her speech.
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. My speech it is pointless. Why should I stand up here and talk about the pain, when what I should be doing is focusing on fixing things. What happened is a terrible terrible event that hurts more than it ever has, there is only one thing I want and it is revenge. For my niece and nephew to go through this again, for my family to be torn apart and not speak anymore I know Mason’s death affected as more than we ever thought possible. But mark my words, my family will pull through and those responsible will be held accountable even if it means breaking any treaties’ Maria finished with more power in her voice than I had ever heard. I turned to see everyone in tears but still smiling, I guess the old Maria had returned; the one everyone was so worried had disappeared. Holding Hallie stable in my arms, I knew she was not crying and no doubt had an expressionless face but from her hand squeezing my arm I knew that she had been listening finally.
‘Well about time she stands up for herself, what about you Cortez, still trying to steal everyone’s attention. I saw that fainting act. Wouldn’t be the first time’ Piper, Hallie’s cousin says from behind. I looked at Piper and knew this would not end well; we were supposed to be engaged after all. We had a history as much as I denied it; I hadn’t told Hallie that I knew her cousin personally and well intimately. That was a conversation I never wanted to have.
‘Fuck you Halliwell’ Hallie whispered turning to see Piper with a smile full of sorrow and a tear streaked face. I could read Piper’s shock of how unwell Hallie looked, she was surprised there were no tears, and she was surprised at how dark her eyes were and how pale she had turned. Automatically she assumed the worst.
‘What have you done?’ she asked Hallie entirely concerned.
‘Can’t you just go ruin someone else’s life? Get away from me’ Hallie snapped at Piper. Again Piper was taken back. I saw her replaying their truce in her mind, Hallie lets go of me and stands by herself. I could sense something was wrong, but again I knew she would not tell me.
‘Hallie?’ Piper whispered as Hallie walked away from us, her family, Mason and the funeral. She was making her way back to the car and I knew I should follow her.
‘It was a mistake ever sending her with you. Look at what you have done to her! She has turned her back on her family’ Piper snapped at me as the coffin began to get lowered into the grave, I paid minimal attention, just wanting to follow Hallie, but I know I would be treated as if it was disrespectful.
‘No your wrong Piper, she changed when her family pushed her away and forced her to go with me’ I snapped taking a step to leave, Joshua however grabs my arm.
‘I would not cause a scene here. Please just take Hallie home. We will be at the wake and back later. Piper I think it is time you leave her alone’ Josh snapped and pushed me away. I don’t know how it was happening but I was being blamed for Hallie’s difference, if only they knew that they had done it themselves.
Walking to Hallie I receive 2 text messages. I opened the first from Hallie:

@ Car, hurry up

The next was from Nathan:

Call me when you get this. Immediately.

I sighed and got to near the car. I saw Hallie sitting on the bonnet. I walk over to her and pat her on the knee as I ring Nathan on my mobile.
Nathan: glad you understand the urgency
Me: yeah whatever, what do you want? If this is about some girl...
Nathan: no the Rossini’s. There have been riots down town. Seriously they are cause heaps of trouble
Me: fuck. Are you serious? What is Craig doing?
Nathan: trying to reach agreements but they have gone rogue. He can’t make sense with them. He thinks they need to regain control by taking power away from them.
Me: which means killing Rossini himself? Fuck. Work it out and get me details.
Nathan: Leo do you want to deal with this now?
Me: no better time than the present. Besides if I wait longer it will just get worse. So get me as much info as you can. I want this done quickly without much attention. I will gain control and make them back down.
Nathan: hopefully it works as well as you hope. Take care and tell Cortez I’m sorry
Me: thanks but she doesn’t care. Dealing with other issues anyway, what’s another going to do?
Nathan: good man. Well I will get details ASAP

I hang up and look at Cortez; she doesn’t even appear to be curious.
‘Can we leave now?’ she asks opening the passenger’s door and taking her seat-still no tears for her recently buried uncle. I sighed and got in the car-this was my life now and I wasn’t sure it was what I wanted.