Secret Kisses and Love Bruises

I walked home alone in the dark, crying the entire way. It seemed like the life growing inside of my stomach was tearing apart the things I cherished most in the world: my relationship with Logan, my future, and at the moment…my safety. I had been so stupid earlier, for not going through with the abortion…right? It was just that device, the one the nurse was going to use to probe me or something, the image of it had been burned into my mind. But as I walked in the dark I realized Logan was right, it had to be done. We had our whole lives ahead of us. I mean, I could make another baby with Logan whenever I wanted to…right?

I quietly entered my house and went straight to the freezer for a bag of ice, which I placed on the back of my head where I had landed earlier when Logan pushed me off of his pool table. I sluggishly walked up the stairs and stumbled into my bedroom, glancing at my alarm clock. It was two am. I reached into my pocket for my phone and dialed Moira’s number. She picked up on the first ring.

“DA FUCK? Don’t cha know what time it is?” Moira whispered.

“It’s important.” I sighed.

“Go on.” Moira groaned. I could hear a faint rustling on the other end.

“I didn’t get an abortion today like I was supposed to…”

“Caden, what…why…do you know what you’re doing?”

“Wait Moira listen…I’m going to go back today. I’m going to do it.”

“Oh God girlie make up your mind!”

“I’ve made it.” I hastily replied, “And I need you to come with me this time…please.”

“Caden of course you know I’ll go with you…when?” Moira’s warm and gentle voice was all I wanted to hear.

“Today at around twelve?” I offered.

“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you soon. Goodnight Caden. Love you.” Moira yawned.

“Goodmorning Moira.” I laughed back.

“Whatever.” Moira yawned again before hanging up.

I wanted to laugh, but instead softly I cried myself to sleep.

*************************************

I woke up at ten o’clock to screaming voice of my very British, very peppy, and most of all, outstandingly lovely mother Georgette.

“Caden Charlotte Clarke, get up right now missy! We will not be late to brunch because of you!”

Shit I totally forgot about Sunday Brunch.

Sunday brunch was something I always looked forward to…until recently with the baby and all. It was the time when I was surrounded by the people I loved most, which consisted of my family, the O’Grady’s, the Lerman’s, and the Thomas’s. They were the family of Logan’s best friend and Moira’s boyfriend, Dean. Occasionally we would invited a few other friends and their families along, but Sunday Brunch was usually shared between just the four of us. Today though, that was not on my agenda.

“Mom I’m not feeling well at all.” I announced. “I think I’m getting another bout of the stomach flu!”

“Oh Caden honey, do you need me to come up.” I could hear my mother’s footsteps coming closer as she walked up the stairs.

“No mom that’s ok, I’ll be fine. Just go, I know you’re running late.”

“Okay my love, but please call us if you need anything.” I could hear her walking back down stairs.

“I’ll be fine.” I repeated again. I laid on my bed in silence until I heard my garage door open, and then shut, before I grabbed my phone and called Moira.

“I was right about to dial you. I forgot all about Sunday Brunch.” Moira breathed.

“I got out of it. Tell me you did too!” I groaned.

“Yes ma’am I did… ‘stomach flu.’ I suppose you said the same?”

“But of course!” I smiled into the phone.

“Are you ready for today?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be…”

“Stay strong lovely. I’ll be at your house in twenty minutes.”

“Thanks Moira. Honestly, what would I do without you?”

“Let’s hope we never find out kiddo.” Moira said before hanging up the phone.

I crawled out of bed and made my way to my shower. I slowly removed my clothes and jumped into the tub, where I was immediately hit by the ice cold water pouring out of the shower head. As the ice cold water hit my body I held on to my stomach realizing that was the closest I would ever be to my unborn child. The coldness of the water was starting to get to me, so I jumped out of the shower, toweled dry, lotioned quickly, and headed towards my closet.

I tossed on a pair of black Ugg boots and a pink Juicy Couture sweat suit before grabbing my keys and my phone and running downstairs. I had already made my way to my garage, grabbed a bottle of water, and put my hair into a messy bun, when I saw Moira pull onto my driveway. I dashed out the door, quickly locking the door behind me, before jumping into the passenger side of her red convertible.

“Would you like to explain to me how you’re so fucking limber?” Moira laughed as she started to drive. I gave her a quick smile and closed my eyes, focusing on the feeling of the wind hitting my face and blowing through my hair, because knew that in another hour I would be living for only me, and Logan and I could start over.