Immortality Meant Never Dying
IV
They walked on down to the village. There was no one there that tried to escape from them, and most of the people were drunk and yelled loudly about things that just surfaced in their heads.
“Why are they all like this here?” Carmilla asked, wondering. What could be wrong with them? Gerard looked at Carmilla calmly.
”These people are the lowest in the society, these are the ones that gamble their money away in hopes of getting more and one day become rich. And when they lose they drink the rest of the money away” his voice was calm and as sweet as honey. Carmilla didn’t comment it, but just felt a pity for those poor drunken people. Gerard led her through the streets and stopped as they reached a side street that didn't look much like the other side streets they had passed on the way. The others didn’t have any drunken old men sitting against the walls sleeping, this one had.
“This is what we’ve been looking for…” he whispered clearly and quietly, while standing on Carmilla’s left side. They walked down the side street. Carmilla looked at the scary people sitting, leaning up the walls. She shivered. It was a scary neighbourhood Gerard had taken her to see. She kept quiet and just followed Gerard. They walked further down the gloomy side street and as they reached the end of the side street, it split into two, Gerard turned right, as if he already knew there would be something to the right, which was better than to the left. Carmilla followed him and looked to the left as they turn right, and saw that the side street to the left was a blind way. She then looked at Gerard while she walked behind him. She was beginning to freeze as she was walking there after him, even though she was a vampire, she could feel the cold air on her arms and through the thin fabric of the dress. She was just about to ask Gerard, but then she saw what he had been leading her to, it was some sort of door. Gerard turned around and looked at her with piercing eyes. The door was black and was out of place. It didn’t belong there.
“This place is one you should keep away from. These vampires, behind these doors will do you nothing but harm. These… Satan-worshippers.” he told her this as he led her away from the door, they were going back they way they came, as they arrived on the first side street again, Carmilla noticed a boy that was sitting, leaning up the wall, his skin was dark with mud and dirt, his clothes was more than dirty. Gerard stopped beside the boy and looked at Carmilla. Carmilla looked at bit at the boy that looked like he was sleeping, and then she looked up at Gerard. He couldn’t be serious. He looked at her almost pleading, he really meant it. Carmilla sat down in front of the young boy. He couldn’t be more than 17 judging by his face, so innocent and homeless. She was disgusted by herself. She was disgusted by the fact that Gerard wanted her to kill that pretty dear boy. She looked at the boy for a long time and could feel that Gerard was getting impatient. Gerard could see that Carmilla was having a hard time doing what she knew had to be done. He knew that she had to get it over with. She needed to learn, and fast.
“Just take him” he hissed at her, quietly, so he didn’t wake the sleeping boy. Carmilla pretended she didn’t hear the command and continued to look at the boy. He looked so innocent. She touched his cheek gently. The touch of her cold skin against his woke him up. He looked into Carmilla’s eyes, without even the smallest flicker of fear. Carmilla smiled kindly to the boy, and then laid one hand over his chin and lifted his head so that she could see his face better. She moved her head closer to his. She knew she had to do it. She knew this was the time to do it without the boy beginning to scream. She laid her arms around him and lifted him, so that he stood up. She was surprised of her own strength. He was a bit taller than Carmilla was.
”Ar- are you my sister… Ar- are you going to take care of me?” the boy asked her in his broken and sleepy German, almost like a wish, or a sign of a missing sister, maybe his twin. Gerard shook his head and looked at Carmilla, admired her class, her grace, her hesitation. But she still had a lot to learn about their ways. Carmilla moved closer and let her lips touch his neck in a comforting and gentle kiss. She held the boy gently and rocked him as if he were a child, what wouldn’t stop crying. Then all of the sudden, the put her teeth to his skin and pierced through it. And oh what a joy it was. Gerard smiled as he saw Carmilla finally took her first victim, and finally accepting who she had become. Carmilla could feel the boy’s blood on her tongue. It was so refreshing for her. She began to drink, slowly. Almost like she wanted the feeling it gave her to last forever. She closed her green eyes and enjoyed every single blood drop in the boy’s body. She could feel the boy’s heart beat faster and faster. The boy tried to survive the destiny he had met. She could feel his heart fight and miss several beats. She drank and drank his blood. The blood was warm and delicious. Better than the elixir that Gerard had given her, better than the magic blood that he had turned her with. Then suddenly she could feel Gerard’s hand on her shoulder.
“You must stop.” She could hear him whisper in her ear, and she looked op at Gerard, the boy’s hanging lifeless from her grip around him. She could still feel his heart beating – skipping several beats more than once. The boy’s heart had almost given up entirely.
“You must stop before the heart stops, or death will draw you down with it…” his voice, sweet as the beautiful flowers from the summer’s garden. He sounded like a teacher as he said it, but Carmilla didn’t notice it. He made her drop the boy on the cold and hard ground. Carmilla looked calmly at Gerard, she had a more living glow in her cheeks and her eyes were almost cloudy from the euphoric feeling she had reached with the boy’s young blood, which now was pumping in her own veins. Gerard smiled a bit triumphant to her and took her hand to make her follow him.
“He was so innocent…” she lamented when Gerard drew her with him away from the side street.
“Yes, every mortal, except for the criminal, is innocent in our eyes, he was beautiful and innocent, there’s no doubt about that.” Gerard’s voice was calm, it sounded like music to Carmilla. They stopped as they got a bit away from the side street. Carmilla stopped a bit behind him, but got pulled to his side. He said nothing. He just looked around on the street. He was on guard. Carmilla couldn’t really see why and she couldn’t sense anyone but mortals. She was just about to ask Gerard why they stopped, but Gerard shushed her. She wondered why, was her powers not as good as Gerard’s, and was her powers made weaker than his on purpose? Was this a part of his evil scheme or was it because she was newly made, or was newly made vampires just normally weaker than their makers? She looked at him, he looked worried. She examined his face, were there danger somewhere near, but were they in danger? Gerard was still holding Carmilla’s hand, as if he wanted to make sure that she didn’t try to run away from him, not now when she had just learned the basic rule when it comes to killing. She could take care of herself now, and she could feed by herself. Gerard pulled Carmilla all the way out of the village. They got outside the village. Gerard stopped and so did Carmilla, she looked at him, and his eyes were looking back at hers. They were calm. She didn’t understand why they had to hurry so much getting out of there, what was wrong? Gerard then began to walk, without answering any of Carmilla’s unanswered questions. Carmilla followed him slowly, still wondering, what made him hurry so much? They walked. Carmilla didn’t really realize what way they were going, she didn’t see that they walked through the forest again. She was too buried in her own thoughts so notice. Then all of the sudden, Gerard stopped up and looked at an awfully familiar house or was it a mansion? Carmilla realized that it was her own house, where she had fled the night before.
“What are we…?” She didn’t get to finish her sentence before Gerard had begun to climb to what used to be the window to Carmilla’s old room. The window was open and Gerard climbed in. Carmilla was still standing on the ground below the window, looking up at it, could she climb like that too? She looked at the wall and then up at the window again where Gerard was waiting for her.
“Just climb up, it’s not that difficult” he whispered very quietly, and amazingly enough Carmilla heard the words clearly as if he were standing right beside her.
“Don’t worry about getting heard either. Your dear old father is sitting in his study crying over the loss of his girls.” He said. She tried to climb up the wall. She didn’t really hear what he had said. She was moving her hands and feet quite slowly. She was amazed how easy it actually was. She reached the window and elegantly jumped into her old room. She looked around and saw something she was going to take with her when they would leave. She sat down and saw that Gerard was watching her from the chair he was sitting on. It had been her favourite chair. The memories of her life before all of this had begun. She had tears in her eyes now.
”Carr…” he purred gently to her. He had started purring her name, he thought her to be like the elegant and beautiful creature that was the cat. It was always landing on its feet like he had seen her do, when they tried to get into the house. He wanted her to come to him. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. He didn’t know why sudden male urges were controlling him. He was a vampire not a mortal. He thought. She was sitting on the bed that was in the room, only a few meters away from him. She was looking at a book, brown leather bound book, it wasn’t new and it had a funny unexplainable and unmistakeable lock.
“Carr…” He purred again and stood up, waiting for her to react. She secretly pretended not to listen to his voice. It was too soft and seducing. She loved the sound of it, and hated herself for it. Still she didn’t react to Gerard’s voice. Gerard walked over to her, nearing his lips to her cheek, but he didn’t kiss her.
“Beloved, we need to be on our way.” He said softly and then continued. “The dawn is coming…” he said. He was almost whispering it to her. She didn’t react, but she knew that he was right. She looked out the window and could see the early light on the night sky. Had they really used all night already? She looked around in the room, trying to remember everything, every detail, before she stood up. She looked down at Gerard. She didn’t look him in his eyes. She didn’t know why, but something in her mind was telling her not to look into his eyes. Gerard smiled mischievously to her and stood up beside her.
“Are you ready?” She nodded and held the book close to her heart, her dead heart, pumping the young blood from the dead boy, around in her veins still. He raised his hand and held it gently on her back, as if he were to lead her out on a dance floor. He pushed her gently forwards to the door to make her walk. He walked after her out of the room and out of the big house, even though no sound was to be heard. Carmilla knew that something was wrong.
They got outside. Carmilla took one last look at her old home, still pressing the book to her chest. Gerard smiled to her and tried gently to make her follow him.
“Dearest, there is nothing left here for you to look for or to miss. You’re dead to the world. Come with me to your new home, our home.” He took her hand and pulled her with him towards his own mansion.
“Why are they all like this here?” Carmilla asked, wondering. What could be wrong with them? Gerard looked at Carmilla calmly.
”These people are the lowest in the society, these are the ones that gamble their money away in hopes of getting more and one day become rich. And when they lose they drink the rest of the money away” his voice was calm and as sweet as honey. Carmilla didn’t comment it, but just felt a pity for those poor drunken people. Gerard led her through the streets and stopped as they reached a side street that didn't look much like the other side streets they had passed on the way. The others didn’t have any drunken old men sitting against the walls sleeping, this one had.
“This is what we’ve been looking for…” he whispered clearly and quietly, while standing on Carmilla’s left side. They walked down the side street. Carmilla looked at the scary people sitting, leaning up the walls. She shivered. It was a scary neighbourhood Gerard had taken her to see. She kept quiet and just followed Gerard. They walked further down the gloomy side street and as they reached the end of the side street, it split into two, Gerard turned right, as if he already knew there would be something to the right, which was better than to the left. Carmilla followed him and looked to the left as they turn right, and saw that the side street to the left was a blind way. She then looked at Gerard while she walked behind him. She was beginning to freeze as she was walking there after him, even though she was a vampire, she could feel the cold air on her arms and through the thin fabric of the dress. She was just about to ask Gerard, but then she saw what he had been leading her to, it was some sort of door. Gerard turned around and looked at her with piercing eyes. The door was black and was out of place. It didn’t belong there.
“This place is one you should keep away from. These vampires, behind these doors will do you nothing but harm. These… Satan-worshippers.” he told her this as he led her away from the door, they were going back they way they came, as they arrived on the first side street again, Carmilla noticed a boy that was sitting, leaning up the wall, his skin was dark with mud and dirt, his clothes was more than dirty. Gerard stopped beside the boy and looked at Carmilla. Carmilla looked at bit at the boy that looked like he was sleeping, and then she looked up at Gerard. He couldn’t be serious. He looked at her almost pleading, he really meant it. Carmilla sat down in front of the young boy. He couldn’t be more than 17 judging by his face, so innocent and homeless. She was disgusted by herself. She was disgusted by the fact that Gerard wanted her to kill that pretty dear boy. She looked at the boy for a long time and could feel that Gerard was getting impatient. Gerard could see that Carmilla was having a hard time doing what she knew had to be done. He knew that she had to get it over with. She needed to learn, and fast.
“Just take him” he hissed at her, quietly, so he didn’t wake the sleeping boy. Carmilla pretended she didn’t hear the command and continued to look at the boy. He looked so innocent. She touched his cheek gently. The touch of her cold skin against his woke him up. He looked into Carmilla’s eyes, without even the smallest flicker of fear. Carmilla smiled kindly to the boy, and then laid one hand over his chin and lifted his head so that she could see his face better. She moved her head closer to his. She knew she had to do it. She knew this was the time to do it without the boy beginning to scream. She laid her arms around him and lifted him, so that he stood up. She was surprised of her own strength. He was a bit taller than Carmilla was.
”Ar- are you my sister… Ar- are you going to take care of me?” the boy asked her in his broken and sleepy German, almost like a wish, or a sign of a missing sister, maybe his twin. Gerard shook his head and looked at Carmilla, admired her class, her grace, her hesitation. But she still had a lot to learn about their ways. Carmilla moved closer and let her lips touch his neck in a comforting and gentle kiss. She held the boy gently and rocked him as if he were a child, what wouldn’t stop crying. Then all of the sudden, the put her teeth to his skin and pierced through it. And oh what a joy it was. Gerard smiled as he saw Carmilla finally took her first victim, and finally accepting who she had become. Carmilla could feel the boy’s blood on her tongue. It was so refreshing for her. She began to drink, slowly. Almost like she wanted the feeling it gave her to last forever. She closed her green eyes and enjoyed every single blood drop in the boy’s body. She could feel the boy’s heart beat faster and faster. The boy tried to survive the destiny he had met. She could feel his heart fight and miss several beats. She drank and drank his blood. The blood was warm and delicious. Better than the elixir that Gerard had given her, better than the magic blood that he had turned her with. Then suddenly she could feel Gerard’s hand on her shoulder.
“You must stop.” She could hear him whisper in her ear, and she looked op at Gerard, the boy’s hanging lifeless from her grip around him. She could still feel his heart beating – skipping several beats more than once. The boy’s heart had almost given up entirely.
“You must stop before the heart stops, or death will draw you down with it…” his voice, sweet as the beautiful flowers from the summer’s garden. He sounded like a teacher as he said it, but Carmilla didn’t notice it. He made her drop the boy on the cold and hard ground. Carmilla looked calmly at Gerard, she had a more living glow in her cheeks and her eyes were almost cloudy from the euphoric feeling she had reached with the boy’s young blood, which now was pumping in her own veins. Gerard smiled a bit triumphant to her and took her hand to make her follow him.
“He was so innocent…” she lamented when Gerard drew her with him away from the side street.
“Yes, every mortal, except for the criminal, is innocent in our eyes, he was beautiful and innocent, there’s no doubt about that.” Gerard’s voice was calm, it sounded like music to Carmilla. They stopped as they got a bit away from the side street. Carmilla stopped a bit behind him, but got pulled to his side. He said nothing. He just looked around on the street. He was on guard. Carmilla couldn’t really see why and she couldn’t sense anyone but mortals. She was just about to ask Gerard why they stopped, but Gerard shushed her. She wondered why, was her powers not as good as Gerard’s, and was her powers made weaker than his on purpose? Was this a part of his evil scheme or was it because she was newly made, or was newly made vampires just normally weaker than their makers? She looked at him, he looked worried. She examined his face, were there danger somewhere near, but were they in danger? Gerard was still holding Carmilla’s hand, as if he wanted to make sure that she didn’t try to run away from him, not now when she had just learned the basic rule when it comes to killing. She could take care of herself now, and she could feed by herself. Gerard pulled Carmilla all the way out of the village. They got outside the village. Gerard stopped and so did Carmilla, she looked at him, and his eyes were looking back at hers. They were calm. She didn’t understand why they had to hurry so much getting out of there, what was wrong? Gerard then began to walk, without answering any of Carmilla’s unanswered questions. Carmilla followed him slowly, still wondering, what made him hurry so much? They walked. Carmilla didn’t really realize what way they were going, she didn’t see that they walked through the forest again. She was too buried in her own thoughts so notice. Then all of the sudden, Gerard stopped up and looked at an awfully familiar house or was it a mansion? Carmilla realized that it was her own house, where she had fled the night before.
“What are we…?” She didn’t get to finish her sentence before Gerard had begun to climb to what used to be the window to Carmilla’s old room. The window was open and Gerard climbed in. Carmilla was still standing on the ground below the window, looking up at it, could she climb like that too? She looked at the wall and then up at the window again where Gerard was waiting for her.
“Just climb up, it’s not that difficult” he whispered very quietly, and amazingly enough Carmilla heard the words clearly as if he were standing right beside her.
“Don’t worry about getting heard either. Your dear old father is sitting in his study crying over the loss of his girls.” He said. She tried to climb up the wall. She didn’t really hear what he had said. She was moving her hands and feet quite slowly. She was amazed how easy it actually was. She reached the window and elegantly jumped into her old room. She looked around and saw something she was going to take with her when they would leave. She sat down and saw that Gerard was watching her from the chair he was sitting on. It had been her favourite chair. The memories of her life before all of this had begun. She had tears in her eyes now.
”Carr…” he purred gently to her. He had started purring her name, he thought her to be like the elegant and beautiful creature that was the cat. It was always landing on its feet like he had seen her do, when they tried to get into the house. He wanted her to come to him. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. He didn’t know why sudden male urges were controlling him. He was a vampire not a mortal. He thought. She was sitting on the bed that was in the room, only a few meters away from him. She was looking at a book, brown leather bound book, it wasn’t new and it had a funny unexplainable and unmistakeable lock.
“Carr…” He purred again and stood up, waiting for her to react. She secretly pretended not to listen to his voice. It was too soft and seducing. She loved the sound of it, and hated herself for it. Still she didn’t react to Gerard’s voice. Gerard walked over to her, nearing his lips to her cheek, but he didn’t kiss her.
“Beloved, we need to be on our way.” He said softly and then continued. “The dawn is coming…” he said. He was almost whispering it to her. She didn’t react, but she knew that he was right. She looked out the window and could see the early light on the night sky. Had they really used all night already? She looked around in the room, trying to remember everything, every detail, before she stood up. She looked down at Gerard. She didn’t look him in his eyes. She didn’t know why, but something in her mind was telling her not to look into his eyes. Gerard smiled mischievously to her and stood up beside her.
“Are you ready?” She nodded and held the book close to her heart, her dead heart, pumping the young blood from the dead boy, around in her veins still. He raised his hand and held it gently on her back, as if he were to lead her out on a dance floor. He pushed her gently forwards to the door to make her walk. He walked after her out of the room and out of the big house, even though no sound was to be heard. Carmilla knew that something was wrong.
They got outside. Carmilla took one last look at her old home, still pressing the book to her chest. Gerard smiled to her and tried gently to make her follow him.
“Dearest, there is nothing left here for you to look for or to miss. You’re dead to the world. Come with me to your new home, our home.” He took her hand and pulled her with him towards his own mansion.