Flesh

“Will I ever get back to school?” I asked, my insides turning and turning from what had just happened, spots sprung like ink in my eyes when I moved. A glass smashed behind me (sounded like a beer bottle), and a roar of laughter from Amanda. But I didn't look over my shoulder, I just focused on Lisa. She looked at me sadly through her pretty hair.
“Um...”
“To start with, wouldn't it be a little scary if you spoke with out moving your lips?” Colias butt in.
“To start with, ma dear, why would you want to go to school with human scum any way.”
I whirled round at Amanda.
“Since when are humans scum?!” I yelled in fury, my tense muscles screaming in protest of the sudden jolt that skimmed through my system.
“Since the only human I was 'close' too raped and abused me.” She smiled sweetly from across the room. Colias sighed and stood up.
“I guess, in a way, it would be possible. But it only takes a paper cut and you kill some one in front of a room of people.”
“And that's the one thing we can't do Aldorina. We have to be kept secret or they will hunt us down and cage us, that's why we're so careful picking the bodies.” Lisa said sternly, collecting what ever it was in front of her, up.
“Are you still looking at star patterns Lisa?” Colias pulled out of a chair and slumped down, a pitying look on his face.
“Yes, there has to be something to show us the door.” He put a hand on her shoulder in a brotherly way and shook his head.
“You need to rest from this,” she placed a hand on his and sighed.
“I need to eat.”
Amanda looked at her innocently.
“I took the last one.”
“Wait, but you guys get the body. Meaning you go out in public.”
“We have to be careful, out side these ground we leave blood every where. Some people can see it, some can't. Sometimes we make people see it as a message.”
“Or to scare them to death.” I hissed.
“Or to scare them to death.” something tremor inside me and I stood up hastily, knowing how sick and sweaty my face may look
.
“I need some fresh air, I won't go far.” I turned on my heels and literally ran from the house into the bitter air.
I went round the back of the house hoping for a beautiful lake. I was wrong.
The lake was as black as a demons soul. As glassy as the eye of a corpse. It reflected all the spindly branches of dead trees that glimmered off the surface, the sky wrapped its self round the scene a bruised purple with battered streaks entwining round the horizon.
There was bones washed up from dead animals from the fire, tiny skeletons scattered in ash fluttered heaps of what once was. The death in the air was the after life it's self knocking on this creeping door. How ever it felt better than facing those people.
The air was so empty it was painful. There was no life. Nothing to thrive the air. I was empty and lost and I just wanted to... I wanted to be back in the cafeteria with my friends instead of sitting with myself next to a glassy, black lake with my knees to my chin and my arms wrapped round my body, as if trying to compress something. Contain this pain.
Anything. Anything I had left I wanted to keep it, not escape my shrouded body.
It ached and throbbed and... I was so hungry.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing.
In.
out.
in.
out.
Do it with me.
In.
out.
In.
out.
“Boo.” I nearly jumped out my skin at the faint whisper. I peered behind.
Colias. With a kinda face I hadn't seen before.
“You okay?”
“If having every pain you've ever had crush up in your chest so it feels like glass is okay... yeah sure.” he didn't sympathise, or even react. He just sat down next to me and rested his elbows on his knees, staring out onto the dyer silent scene.
“Amanda went out to get some more people so you can - “
“Shut up!” I cried. “Just stop talking about stuff like that!”
He looked at me through blank, wide eyes.
“I'm sorry. Its just so normal for me.” I shivered.
“It shouldn't be.” he looked at me with an odd glint in his eyes.
“Its been my way of life longer than your life time. I don't see why not.”
“Its... ugh.” I shivered again. Grotesque.
“Mmm, your change your mind by the end of the day.” I looked up at him in horror.
“Is that so?” I hissed, but ran my hand through my hair in agitation. He nodded.
“I think I know.” he looked at me sinfully. “This has happened to you at such a young age. Normally, the older you change, you become more... monstrous. But at this age I can't see that. Maybe you could go back to school for a year. I looked at him, and exploitation in my stomach gave me a tiny burn of energy.
“But Lisa said-” he shhhed me.
“I spoke to her. You'd have to start some where completely different.” I felt my shoulders slump.
“No parents, no old friends.” he added, as if for effect. “Just to enjoy your dab of humanity that you may or may not loose.”
“This is cheerful.” I muttered, staring off into the opposite direction. He sighed.
“Sorry. I'm not very good with emotions.” I rocked a little then stood up.
“You know what? Hey. Don't worry about it. I'm just absolutely fucking terrified.” He looked at me in confusion. As if he honestly wasn't sure how to deal with emotions.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, name on thing that's stopping me from jumping into that lake with a bag of rocks tied to my ankles.”
“It would be pointless because your already dead-”
“Shut up!” I cried for the second time, holding my hands up exasperatedly. “That's not what I need right now.” he looked back onto the glassy lake and a whole minute slothed past, grating my frayed nerves. “So basically,” I tried to start, but the words were sliding down my throat, “basically we're dead but our spirits haven't moved on.”
“That would be correct. I mean – our spirits tried to move on, they left our bodied for more than a minute, but then they fell -”
“Making us fallen angels.” I finished for him, slightly bemused by the words.
“And zombies.” he sighed, picking up a rock and throwing it gently, but at distance, into the glossy waters surface. The surface looked unbreakable, so I was surprised when the rock sliced through it sending ripples gliding out wards. No sound of shattering glass.
“But why people? Why can't we eat human food? We can drink their drinks, so why not their food?” I cried, desperate to cease the new dietary plan.
“Because other wise we rot as quickly as a corpse.” I shuddered, a proper spine rolling chill that electrified my nerves in the vastness of the scene.
“What about... what about our-” I swallowed and forced the words out, “wings.” He shrugged, looking off then back to me.
He stood up next to me and pulled the ribbon lace on my corset, a corset dress I had grown to dislike how ever pretty, so that the black slipped down. His soft, cold fingers caressing the surface of my skin that flooded me in warmth. However it wasn't in the way the action normal would make, I remembered he got confused with emotions which told me he wasn't aware of how sexy it made me feel.
I looked over my shoulder into the reflection of the water, and gasped so hard my lungs heaved in shock. There were two lumps, huge bumpy lumps. Under my skin. I pulled my dress back up hurriedly and did it back up, turning to him in horror.
“Every night, when the moon is in the centre of the sky, they come out. How ever you can make them come out on demand. You just don't have a choice if the moon is out. Oh and by the way, be prepared to see a lot of wondering spirits at night.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in.
“Another thing. Why did you stitch my lips together when you have to open my mouth to... eat.”
“Just for the first day you have to get used to speaking with out using your mouth. Project it into each others minds as we are doing so now. We're cut it later.”
“Its like a horror movie. A night mare. A bewitched portrait from hell.” I whispered, looking back into the lake and its surroundings, almost hearing the screams of emptiness.
“Yes but look on the bright side. You can pretend your not what you are if you go back to school.”
“What?!” a voice from behind made us both look over our shoulders as Amanda stalked over to us, Colias's face turned stony.
“Lisa surely wouldn't allow that!” she cried, messing the bottom of her hair with her skeletal hand .
“But she's so young she hasn't gained full -”
“I don't give a shit Colias, stop sticking up for her. Aldorina babe, know it must be hard but pull it together girl. Going to school? 'Hey, my names Nina and I eat people,' yeah - you'd be well popular. Plus your eyes? Your skin? And when you start to rot! Your lucky we don't smell of decay.” she shivered and I faced her fully, a little offended at her mimicking me.
“Say I have a medical condition.”
She rolled her eyes. One of the tops of her eye socket had worn away, I noticed.
“Please girl. Reality is harsh, live with it.” she snorted. “And don't even try going for this one. He's mine.” She waggled a bone finger at me with a diamond ring on it. I looked back at Colias who went back to his dark mysterious face, and looked at me out his eye lashes like he didn't care for me, nor Amanda.
“I wish I could die all other again.” he muttered mentally. She kicked him.
“I herd that you bad boy.” I tried not to think of the way his soft hands made me feel, how delicately he played with me, and gave a shaky laugh.
“No. We're just talking. He was answering all my questions.” he still didn't smile. He just looked at Amanda like he wanted to rip her throat out, then at me like I was a waste of space. And it confused me even more than I already was – he was being so nice and caring a minute ago, doing his best to under stand me. And now... major personality crisis going on here.
“Sure. Come on you. You have dinner to eat.” I shook my head stubbornly, looking her in mingled terror.
“I don't want to kill any one.”
“Don't worry, they're already dead. I killed em for ya.” she sighed heartlessly. Colias glanced at me, and I saw a glint of something in his eyes. Something that made me lust but I wasn't sure what for.
“I'll be inside when your ready. If you need to Q and A some more things.” she turned and trotted off on her heels.
“Why are you being like this?! And your engaged? For how long.” he grimaced at me.
“Why are you being like this?” he asked softly. I stared at him in irritation.
“Like what?!” his look was cold.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Playing with my head for fuck sakes!” I cried, slumping down and pushing a handful of dirt away with my hands. “Your so odd? For a couple of minutes there you were so nice to me, and now its like. Ugh.” I shivered again. He stared at me in disgust,
“I'm engaged.”
“To some one you hate.” He crawled on his knees to me.
“To some one I have no choice to. To some one who black mailed.”
“Tell me more.” I whispered, scared at how close we were, scared to breath in his face.
“No. Your jealous.” he moaned. Our noses nearly touching. Why wash e doing this! I didn't even like him, wasn't even attracted to him. I swear Lisa warned me about being confused with emotions. What I want and don't want. And I didn't know this strange boy. Met him briefly. Hadn't felt any connection. In a way loathed him. But then there was that spark of betraying Amanda after the anger she made me feel. Messing with his man, and the thrill alone set me off.
“I'm not...” I tried to say, but the sentence trailed off and failed miserably. He was sending shocks up my back.
“I don't even know you.” my eyes were closed.
“That's what makes it fun.”
“Is Amanda watching us?”
“No she's with Lisa.”
“You know I hate you.” my inner voice was so quite it barely passed through the air between us.
“I hate you more.”
“Nu-uh.” I pressed, feeling his delicate fingers undo my dress.
“Yess,” he hissed as it slipped from my body as easy as silk.
“Nu-uh.” I could barley communicate.
“Oh yes.” He pulled his top of and lent into me, then let his lips trace down my jaw line sending irresistible shivers dazzling my thoughts, he soft finger cradling my back, as he lifted my body from the floor like a vampire does about to feed from a girls neck, how he was kissing. Sweet, deep, meaningful kisses on my neck. And then he dropped me into the dirt, letting it splatter up my arms,laughing, pulling his shirt back on.
“You little shit.” He laughed again and looked up at the sky, that had been clear not so long ago, with looming black clouds, and laughed again as the rain began to pour in sheets. Running off into the house, leaving my sprawled in the mud, mortified and nearly naked. I scrambled round for my stuff and tugged it on, though it was hardly classed as clothing any more, and ran into the houses porch, my wet hair whipping at my neck. I hammered my fists on it in frustration.
The door swung open.
“I think I'm ready for that meal now.” I snarled and Amanda's face lightened into a mischievous grin, leading me inside and down the basement steps.
She had a little pair of blunt scissors and snipped at the stitchings at my lips. Then pushed me into a room with a dead man lying in the middle of it. Suddenly I felt uneasy, under statement of the year. So queasy and sick. But I tried to remember my anger.
“Wha-wha-what do I do?” I cried, my mental voice barley a whisper. She sighed, walked over to the man, haled his head up so she could put her hands inside his throat. Then with one fluid movement she ripped his body open so fresh flesh and blood exploded into the airs scents.
Then something happened.
Inside.
So sudden.
Something inside me uncoiled.
Suddenly I could see all the black blood.
Suddenly I could smell everything.
See.
Hear.
Taste.
Feel.
Like id never done before. Every sense exploded a million times better. And then the flesh hit my nostrils, barley giving me time to appreciate the clarify things became, or to listen in on into the sounds of nature so far away beyond the dead forest.
And then there was nothing else. I felt my teeth change under my lips. My insides swell making my emotions recoil and vanish. And before I knew it his... its flesh was speeding into my system. It lavished in my mouth. So... delicious was hardly the word.
So easy to slice into and devour. And it wasn't cannibalism because I wasn't human. Not near.
I pressed my self closer. Pushing aside organs that got into my way with my claw like hands. Digging for treasure and ripping at every possible point with my teeth, swallowing chunks whole like an animal. Until I fell back on my knees and closed my eyes. Not caring about anything but letting it explode inside me.
Something happened, quick and brief and I was out the room. My senses slowly died back to there normal state.
I looked at Amanda, blood trickling from my lips.
“Oh... my... god.” I blinked several times at nothing, the realised she was smiling so wildly I worried that her face would split (quite literally).
Lisa came round from the corner and saw me, she hesitated looking anguish, then spotted our exhilarated expressions and bubbled into a smile.
“I'm glad your not in the same state I was in.” She smiled, picking the front of her dress up as she hurried towards us.
They were stuck in a time warp.
“But please don't be them where they enjoy this.” I tried not to deny it. But she saw it in my eyes.
“Its killing people.” she eyed me as if I would suddenly realise what I had done. But I didn't want to, so I pushed it hastily from my mind and glowered at her.
“I hate it. Yes. But we have to live with it.” I lied. As if I could deal with this. The 'drug' effect of the flesh was wearing off already and I felt... I don't know how to describe it. Like every bone in my body was swollen but delicate at the same time.
Colias came padding down the stairs and halted, eyeing us. Barley sweeping a glance over my frozen body which slowly melted into boiling anger.
“Can I speak to you?” I snarled sternly. He shrugged.
“Come up in my room.” Amanda took a step forward to me and gave me a sickly sweet smile.
“Remember what I said babe?” she cocked her head to one side patronisingly and looked at me out of tight eyes before spinning on her heels and walking off. Her old fashioned dress in tatters around the edge.
“Oh and after that change into something a little more comfortable - for... moonrise.”
I nodded and ran up stairs. When I reached the top of the beautiful bronze stair case I realised I had no idea where to go.
“I have the attic.” He whispered sexily to me. I rolled my eyes, sick of his games.
He walked along the landing to what looked like a cupboard door which opened to a tiny stair case. He let me go first, ducking under the door and flying easily up the stairs. Not sure how I felt of him shutting the door behind him.
His bedroom was dark blue and silver. Seriously. It was beautiful. It was like it had no date. Dark blue walls with old wooden floor boards and silver framed mirrors, beds, and so on with a silver rug. On one wall was a mirror that silver framed spiralled out across the wall into branches with dithering leaves and old fruit.
It was so stunning I literally was lost for words.
I had never seen fabric of suck quality's hung from sloped ceilings and it smelt of... it smelt of a night walk.
“What was it you wanted to ask?” then the anger exploded. I turned round, moving faster than I knew I could, and I had him up against the wall, just breathing into his face. He held his hands up innocently.
“Put me down and do this sensibly, my head hurts now.” I waited a couple of seconds, just panting, before dropping him and turning away.
“I, um, I...” I trailed off and tried to bring back the anger I had a minute ago. Pulling up straight I stared him squarely in the face.
“Why are you playing with me.”
“Because your so vulnerable. You have emotions to the full. You can hurt so very easily.” he licked the words like sugar in his mouth.
“Yeah so stop it.” I tried to make it sound defensive and threatening but it was more feeble.
“Stop what sorry?” he held a hand to his ear.
“Playing with me!” I snapped irritably. He moaned.
“Oh that does sound good on your pale lips. You stop it, your spoiling my ears.” he snickered and I nearly slapped him.
“Hey you. You know I could tell Amanda what we did, and its so easy to twist the truth to make it look like its your fault. So stay on my good side, yes?” he got up from his sprawl on his bed and patted my cheek before leaving the room and flicking the light off like I wasn't there.