Flesh

“So you mean it!” I cried, clapping my hands. Lisa looked at me wistfully as she dropped her intricate silver pen, letting black ink splatter and dribble like liquid glass on the table, reminding me frightfully of the blood I'd been blessed of not seeing.
“Yes.” her voice was bland with a hint of jealously.
Amanda sat on the other side of the table lazily in Colias arms, frowning at me in distaste, like something was bitter on her tongue. But her burning eyes we're smug, she new I wished I had Mac how she had Colias.
“I can't believe this.” She hissed. Standing up, Colias arms falling flatly to his sides, his eyes half closed. “So lets see. Hey eyes, skin and the fact she can't speak .. medical condition. The fact she doesn't eat at lunch is because she's on a diet'. What else was it? Oh yeah, what if some one can see the blood? Good luck with finding a school that will accept you.” she emphasised every word, each ending with a a cold, harsh slice of reality.
“Fake paper work is to much fun.” Lisa said calmly, “and we already have a school so I'd stop talking before you eat your words.”
Amanda's eyes winded before she turned and stalked off, her hair riding the wind behind her, a ribbon.
We all got up to leave but Lisa asked me to stay.
“How did you find moonrise?” she asked tightly, suddenly my eye sight had spots of colour and a slight smile pulled the corners of my quivering lips up, although the sickness was there of the pain.

Moonrise. Ugh. I let my mind wonder back.
We were all stood under the deep, satin night, the sparkling rain that had danced with the sway of the grass had stopped and the clouds departed, so the starry night glowed down on use like diamonds, making my eyes get lost in the magic.
I had worn a simple white dress , off at the shoulders and slits cut at the back. Amanda wore a black dress and Lisa blue.
“To make sure your wings don't rip your clothes we need to ease them out first before they spread, just for the first time.” I groaned. It was like listening to some one speak about an animal, a creature.
She came towards me with a glinting knife, I staggered back, slipping slightly in my bare feet on the wet slick of the mud.
“Woah.” I breathed, holding my hands up and cringing. But she continued, a face as emotionless as a rag doll. Taking my shoulders and spinning me round she ordered me to relax. Then, with out waiting for my go, she ripped down beside my spine.
My scream that followed the pain was so blood splinting, and cacophonous I hadn't realised it was my own. I felt blood flow down my back. My black blood. Pitch black. My back doubled over and curled up which made the unbearable pain escalate and cripple use of my other limbs.
With out warning she did similar the other side. Then dug her hands inside the gushes of blood and raw wound and yanked the stem so they would come out in the right place. I pulled away and collapsed. Tears flowing down my cheeks. My throat still screaming hoarsely.
“NO. NO. Please NO.” I rolled to my knees and tried to hold my back but the black blood drenched my hands.
I shirked again so loud it felt as if my lungs were to rip from my body, I was tearing inside and it was bleeding.
Then, I looked up just in time to see the luminous moon shimmering in the velvet sky, the last feathery cloud drifting away. Directly ahead. And this pain shot through my back.
Unlike any pain.
Unlike anything.
I wanted to die. Right there. It ripped into me and curled my nerves and I felt my skin rip at my back and two huge things part from me, scrape along my insides. I doubled over on my hands and knees. My tears flowing as thick as my blood. Gasping for air that wasn't there and didn't really need.
“Don't worry. Its worse the first time.” Lisa knelt by me smiling. Then her eyes widened in horror as she stumbled back to look at me. Two giant black wings folded on her back, so dark they shimmered blue an purple. If I were to touch them they'd feel like silk.
Amanda and Colias ran to her side to star at me.
“What?.” I managed to snap through the blood that was now spilling from my mouth after I had bitten down on my tongue in the pain, it gurgled in my throat and made me choke.
Colias wings were even bigger and blacker than the other two. Amanda's were fairly small compared to Lisa's but still big enough to be the length of from her shoulders to the back of her knees.
“Your wings are white. But not just white. A pure dazzling, diamond bright white.” Lisa gasped.
“Beautiful.” I herd Amanda mutter. Colias tilted his head up and swallowed, chewing the insides of his cheeks.
I had no idea what it meant, and neither did they by the looks of things. I didn't care.
“Okay what ever. Let just get on with it. You can control them like you would your arms and legs. Just think what you want to do, and voola. Your flying. Balancing and so on comes naturally.” I stared at Lisa for a second before she stood back and her beautiful, feathery wings started to flap around her, air bellowed under her hair before her toes gently left the ground and she flew into the night, so graceful I wanted to sing. Then Amanda, closely followed by Colias.
I closed my eyes then took a deep breath and allowed my 'wings' to flap, something triggered in my back. I felt the air spin around me then opened my eyes. My cascading hair was being throw every where, then my body started to lift and my toes left and suddenly I was in night. I was weightless.
The empty, vast night with a soulful of space and undiscovered mysteries. I was so free.
The wind whistled in my ear and I screamed in pleasure. Whooped a couple of times before deciding I was high enough. Amongst the stars and that glimmering silver moon. Before I dived and looped-the-looped. I looked around realising I couldn't see any one else apart from... Colias. He gave a half smile before gliding towards me and I sustained mid air. Bobbing up and down slightly.
“Piss off.” I hissed. “I'm enjoying this.” but he came closer till the wind was whipping round us both. I started flying up wards and he followed, we were spiralling round each other.
“Your amazing. You didn't even know you were going to die.” He put his personality changer head on.
“You did?” I asked surprised and he nodded.
“Oh yes. I knew too bad. At the time no one had an idea what it was and I had the most obscene amount of remedies. And then my spirit didn't make it all the way and it happened to find my body instead of wonder round like a ghost, an echo.” I wanted to go closer to him. To feel his breath wash over my face. But I had no idea where the lust was coming from and knew with every bone in my body it was wrong. That I hated him. So I took of the opposite way, surprised he didn't follow, and landed outside the house. Agitated and realising immediately I wasn't alone.
A small girl stumbled towards me looking lost and scared.
“Help me.” she whimpered. I took a step back as she held out her hands for a hug. She was translucent and her feet trailed on the ground.
I was warned I would see lost spirits.
I shook my head at her.
“No please I don't know.” I tried to explain but realised she wouldn't hear because she had no mind to project that into.
She looked at me confused and started to cry.
“Please help me find my mummy.” she ran towards me, stumbling slightly. I shook my head and stepped back. Terrified of the crying girl. The crying girl with blood pouring from a crack in her head. Blood that disappeared before it reached the floor.
Her eyes were slightly lopsided but she had cute dimples.
She started to scream.
“MUMMY.” I felt someone thud lightly beside me... But I was bending down to hug the child I was so upset over her. I wanted to shield her in my wings. Rock her and let her know everything was alight. The girls eyes widened in delight and she game to embrace me, something evil swam in her eyes but I was pulled back by a hand making the girls face crumple and burst into a fresh sob of tears.
“Don't ever touch a spirit.” Colias's voice was low, cold and threatening. “They will posses your body.”
“She'd only a toddler!” I cried, spinning round to glower in his dark face.
“Yes. But could easily become a fourteen year old girl.” He steered me away behind the house by the lake.
“Relax, embrace the night.”
A night full of horrors and dark mysteries. But then the thrill of the fact that had been washed away by the child and Colias over took me and I felt myself smiling. Flying was the most beautiful thing.

“Um,” I tried not to show her my uncertainty and horror, “it was... eventful.” it came out more as a question. The corner of her eyes tugged at suppressing a smile.
“That's certainty a way to put it.” she nodded and turned back to what ever she was doing. I turned to go but turned in a spasm of hysteria.
“Um Lisa. I'm thrilled I can go to school. But can we pull this off?” she looked up at me through her dark lashes.
“ Yes and I feel its important we do! We can't just swallow your child hood.” I shook my head in agony.
“But what if some one finds out?” she laughed coldly and looked up at me through stony eyes with a well-its-obvious-really look on her face.
“We kill them of course.” she laughed again and shook her head in disbelief. So casual.
“Okay so the main rule is not to be to open to any one... other wise you'll take their life.” I shuddered.
“Go into town, pick up uniform. Take Colias with you and don't let people stare at you.”
“Why not Amanda?” I asked, running my finger along the top of one of the varnished chairs with red velvet seats.
“Because she can't control her self around humans.” she looked at me again and I knew what she meant. She shuffled through some more papers, moving them to the side and pulling some more in front of her. Tracing over a map of the sky with a small path tracking wheel. I nodded.
“Point taken.”
I was scared, I saw something in Amanda's eye that I was 'after' Colias, when really I wasn't. I just felt an odd lust.
“Is it true we can persuade humans through eye contact?” I asked on the thought of the lust being fake. “Yes but you can only put in weak fake thoughts. Not pictures or events. Like this.” she took my wrist and pulled me in. Then stared at me with her beautiful eyes.
“There is a hole in the middle of the floor. There is a hole in the middle of the floor. There is a hole in the middle of the floor.” I was hardly aware she was saying it, a white haze obscured my vision before I was back and awake properly.
“Well go on then.” I said, completely forgetting what had just happened and tapping my foot impatiently.
“All done.” She smiled edgily.
“Really?” I asked, flustered and she nodded. I turned to leave the room, not thinking much of the 'power' when I nearly screamed. There was a gaping, bottomless black hole in the middle of the room. A cold chilling feeling crawled down my spine and into my veins as I gasped.
“Oh my... is this an opening?” I fell to my knees, terrified to go near it. Afraid of death... which was weird considering I was dead. I was a child of the dead.
I looked over the edge very slightly. It was ringing with silence.
“Why in gods name is there a black hole in the middle of this room?” I whimpered, not sure why it chilled me so, and looked behind at Lisa who had one eye brow raised.
“Come here.” she told me. Looking deeply into my eyes. “The hole is gone. The hole is gone.” her voice dropped an octave and as she finished a black haze swam through my head. Forgetting her words I looked behind my shoulder again and clamped my hand over my mouth.
“It gone.” I whispered, my voice frail.
“You asked me to make you think something.” she smiled again. But unlike Amanda's sickly sweet smile, it was genuinely kind. Or as kind as a monster could get.
“Wait. Do we read minds?” I flashed back to when I herd Jays thought.
“Only when you want to. Though sometimes you can't help but hear the occasional thing. With the thoughts thing. You can only put thoughts of the present in there minds. You can't plant fake images of the past nor future. Its as simple as it gets. Sorry for no super power vampire thing.” I gave her a questioning look.
“You know all the teenage fiction now a days.”
“I'd rather be a vampire.” I muttered. Her back stiffened and she glared at me.
“Sorry.” I mumbled and slouched over to the sofa. “So when do I start?” in a way I was frightened of the answer, in a way I was ecstatic.
“Not sure. We're expecting a phone call today. I warn you its a very 'low' school. Like London schools for trouble makers. But I thought that way no one would pay much attention to you. Just get the uniform today okay?”
“I reckon she'd look sexy in a well tailored blazer.” Colias leaned against the door frame, hands in pockets, high cheek bones casting shadows on his pale but handsome face.
With Colias the veins showed most around his eyes, they weaved down and disappeared into his cheeks.
He spoke as if I wasn't there.
“Stop playing games Colias.” Lisa sighed, smacking a book into his chest, “and read up on star patterns over the last... well since they begin recording them.” He flipped the book back down on the table and snorted.
“Your not going to find anything amongst the stars my dear.”
“Its seems logical.” she shrugged sadly but desperately. “Please.” he ignored her plead.
“Come on then Aldorina. Walkies.” he grinned at me through hard white teeth as I stood up with a square jaw.
“Do we even have money?” I snapped, my hands curling to fists where dry sweat irritated my now delicate skin.
“From what period?” he asked, walking over to a golden framed picture of some dazzling night scene by a lake; effortlessly lifted it of the wall, setting it aside to revile a safe.
He turned the nob this way and that till it swung open to a whole chamber.
“The presence.” I stiffened iratibally.
“And that's...” he gave me a look out those jewelled eyes.
“Pounds and pence's.” he nodded and pulled out a rolled up wad of twenty pound notes. Tucking them deeply in his pocket.
“Lucky we have some.” I nodded, my eyes slits.
“How did you get it in the first place? You don't work do you?” I cringed the answer.
“Just go get ready.” he sighed like I was a child who wouldn't shut up about sweets. I gave him a shot of loathing before pounding up the stairs to 'my room'.
My room was a deep metallic purple with old wooden floor boards and black swirls erupting from the corners. Its dainty furniture all black and swirly with a black jewelled chandelier and purple silk bed throw. Yes it was beautiful.
No I did not care.
“You could be here for a while,” had been Lisa's words, introducing it to me. She did her best to hide a grimace.
I went to a mirror I hadn't dared glance in since I changed. But knew I had to brave the truth – and stood in front of its glimmering reflection.
Unlike Lisa and Amanda's my skin wasn't obviously a dead blue. It was more of a pale of a fresh corpse. My veins showed through round the edge of my face, looking like beautiful crafted tattoos and framing my eyes.
Nothing had started to rot. I touched the stranger in the mirror before picking up a comb and taming down my thick, starlit, white-blond hair so it fell in rivers and waves, rippling over my shoulders.
“You may want these,” he held up a pair of skinny dark denim jeans and a cream sweat that wasn't half bad.
“Where'd you get -” I started. But then thought of the dead people and realised. There was a thick gold belt and he even had some red pumps to go with it. I tied my hair into a low side punch and put a gold braid in the front.
“Mascara?” he held it out to me, his kinda face on, then shrugged. “They carry cheap handbags sometimes.” I glanced at him suspiciously but leaned forward and applied it any way. I think I actually looked... “you look stunning.” he smiled. I spun round, the anger like fire on my searing tongue.
And I wanted to know. What was with the personality changing? I nearly growled at him.
So I focused on his mind to hear his thought.
Lets try and get this town trip over with quickly... be nice.
“Oh so that's why your acting all nice to me?” I snapped, the shoulder of the sweat slipping off. “Lets just go you prick.” I snarled, hoping he wouldn't see behind my mask to the part of me that ached for him in the most bizarre way I've ever experienced.
He held his hands up. “It's not my fault your poking round my mind.” he snapped back, for the first time actually looking a little pissed instead of his hard, lazy exterior.
I smirked. “Its not my fault you have a cold, cruel mind.” he recoiled at that.
“You will soon,” his voice so quite it hardly touched my mind. “being dead but alive for so many centuries,” he shivered, “it twists your mind, you hate the world and you only feel pain. I never feel good apart from when I'm flying. And most of all I'm scared of love because its the only thing that can hurt me. But I devour pain. So back off Nina.” he turned and went to the door and I instantly felt guilty. I ran up behind him and touched his shoulder.
“I'm sorry.” I managed. He ignored me, opening the door but I could see in his eyes he accepted it.
I wasn't going to enter his mind again.
He went round the other side of the house and pulled a motor bike from behind some dead shrubs. A black Triumph Street Triple.
“Nice ride.” I told him, seeing my reflection from the paintwork.
“Stealing's easy when your me.” he glinted, dusting off some ash on the side. I swallowed hardly, ignoring that comment.
“I'm glad my mum works today, otherwise she'd be shopping.” I muttered to my self, trying not to freak out of the thought of seeing any one I knew. How ever it was a massive city and I only normally bumped into people occasionally. So if I keep my head down secretively then I wouldn't draw attention to myself.
“We get there. Get your ruddy uniform, then we go.” he told me. But not in a demanding way. Softly. Apolitically. As if he did have feelings. I wanted to ask how many emotions he did feel. And if I would loose mine from hatred. But then he tensed, as if he was angry he let his wall slip. Pulled up a poker face and stared at the bike in sadistic lust.
“Its a good thing the sun isn't out.” he noted.
“Oh so now we're vampires?” I cried. Taking a couple of pointless steps back. He looked at me in confusion and disgust.
“What?... no. Can't you guess why we can't stay in sunlight?” he asked, disbelievingly.
Dumbly, I shook my head feeling pretty much worthless.
“Okay if you have a corpse, what's gonna happen if you leave it under the sun?”
“It will decay quicker.” I said irritably at his patronising voice.
“Exactly. We have to stay as cold as possible.” He wheeled the bike out a bit.
“I thought burnt forests grow back quickly?” I asked, the thought suddenly springing to mind.
“They do.” he said quietly, as if to say lets-not-press.
“There's something you haven't told me isn't there?” I asked quickly. His face was blank but his eyes gave everything away. He slouched a little, kicking the bike of the stand down and leaning on it.
“We all change with a 'survival' gift. In other words something to help us move on to the next life. Lisa's happens to be controlling the earth. Not earth its self, but nature. She's like a cold, dead, rotting mother nature minus the motherly part.” he laughed.
“But surely people notice its not growing back!”
“Oh we found them and persuaded them it was fine. Using our abilities.”
“And your 'gift'?” I asked patiently.
“I... I can tutor people by just looking at them. Use the air to hurt them. In a way creating a person there, a demond.” he looked ashamed for a second then a smile lit his face and I saw his tongue trace his teeth.
“And Amanda?” I knew what this was leading to.
“Amanda has a gift for creating hallucinations to people. For example. A human walking along on a high street she could make a bear jump out in front of her. Its not really there, but they think it is. They could make some one think they were dying if she wanted. It's so amusing”
I trembled over the last words.
“And me?” he swung a leg over the bike and looked behind at me.
“How the hell am I supposed to know?” he snapped as I slid on the seat behind him knowing all I wanted was to be in Mac's arms right now. My heart was ripping.
It took hardly any time to scoot up on a little back lane besides town.
“When will I find out?” I asked, breathless.
“When you do.” he muttered. “I found out pretty soon because I looked at some one I hated and imaged them in pain, as you do, next thing I knew he was tossing on the floor. I can hurt people in all different ways. It can be quite pleasurable.”
“Okay,” I leaned against the wall, “make my little finger feel like its being sawed off with a blunt saw.” I tried to sound confident, but really I was petrified.
“I could.” he started, “but I don't want to.” he seemed at tiny disheartened, but mainly like he couldn't be bothered. .
“why not. You think I'm weak?” I cried.
“I... I don't know.” he shook his head and strolled down the ally. “Okay don't draw attention to your self.” he cautioned, quickly changing the subject. “Its just round this corner.” we came out onto a high street that I knew was connected to another high street. A few people were waltzing up and down it, but the main rush was round the corner. We hurried up to the uniform shop.
“Wait, what school is it?” I asked quickly.
“Pear Tree high school.” he muttered. I looked at him, bemused.
“Your joking right?” he frowned and shook his head as he pushed the door open. The bell ringing.
I felt awkward as people tried to sneak glances at us with wide eyes. The lady at the counter was old and frail and has glasses slid down her nose.
“Can I help?” she wheezed and I sudden realised I was about to reply through her mind, but Colias gripped my elbow as if to remind me and just shook his head to the lady, smiling gently as he had done with me when he found me freaking out by the lake.
It felt to me as if he had let him self go and shown his feelings and realised his mask had slipped. And hated that.
Me on the other hand was dealing with the way I felt towards Colias as guilt for Mac, who never left my mind.
Speaking in public we have to direct our thoughts to each other only... unlike normally (which is kinda like free style talking), you have to focus on the mind okay?
I nodded.
Or we could just think what we wanted to say and read each others thoughts.
Thats kinda what we're doing. But instead directing thoughts to save the other person having to read. I nodded at him and saw a lady with her daughter looking at me weird.
I shrugged it off and picked up a black school skirt. Opaque tights. And a white, fitted shirt.
We found the Pear Tree blazers. Black with a tree on the breast pocket, and thankfully not too padded. In fact they were like boy friend blazers than office uniform. The shop was damp with bland, dirty white walls and a thin crimson carpet. The sizes were all mismatched and nothing had been ordered in appropriate places, it was also ripping us off and the staff stood in the shadows of the corners, jumping down your throat at every possible sell, or fingers brushing the heavy labels.
I slipped a couple on in the lock free changing rooms (a little cupboard built into the wall), then we went to the till and dished some money out as the lady scanned them.
We opened the shop door holding the plain red carrier bag.
And I saw Morgan.