Quiet Little Monsters

Unfortunately, I hadn't considered the hour of Finn's arrival, which was at the ass crack of dawn. I was off in dream land when there was a persistent beeping noise coming from the intercom in the living room.

Get the fuckin' door! Luella screeched sleepily in my head. I jolted up and stumbled tiredly into the living room and buzzed him up.

Two minutes later, Finn was knocking on the door and I swung it open. My eyes were swollen with sleep and I could tell by his own rings around his eyes that he was tired too.

"Good morning," I yawned.

Finn only nodded and collapsed on the couch and cuddled with a lacey beige pillow. "I'll wait for you while you get ready," he muttered, already falling asleep.

I envied him as I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, and then packed the toothbrush in my bag before getting into a pink baby doll dress. I slipped into some fringe boots and quickly did my makeup. I snuck into Luella's room and kissed her cheek and said goodbye. When I stepped out to the living room, Finn was sprawled across the couch, still embracing the pillow.

"Ready!" I cried loudly and he jolted awake.

"Oh, right," he croaked and rubbed his eyes.

I lugged my lavender suitcase behind me as we exited the yellow wallpapered apartment. Finn glanced at my struggle and picked it up. "It’s sad watching you try," he muttered and smiled as he walked easily with my enormous case.

"Uh, thanks," I said sourly and locked the apartment. We set down the stairs and there in front of the apartment building was Finn's shitty hunter green sedan. He opened the trunk and threw my bag in alongside another black suitcase which I assumed was his.

"You ready?" Finn asked, stretching his arms above his head as we stood in the back of his car. I was staring at the closed trunk with a somewhat dazed expression.

Finn tugged on his blue sweatshirt uncomfortably. "Hey, Dolly? You okay? Are you sure you still want to go?" he asked, seemingly unnerved by my zombie mode.

"Fuck yes, I wanna go!" I cried, breaking out of my reverie and stepping around to the passenger side door. Honestly, I was just a little frightened of the idea of this. This was important, I could feel it in my bones.

Finn settled in the driver's seat and laughed as he started the engine. I was too nervous to talk to him, so I pretended to fall asleep in my seat and soon enough, I really did drift into dreams.



"Dolly? Dolly?"

"Goaway," I muttered, swatting the gentle shakes away.

"Dolly? You want some breakfast?"

My eyes shot open, "Breakfast?"

I looked around. We were outside a tiny diner in what looked like nowhere; we were surrounded by fields. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and Finn watched me as I nodded, stifling a yawn.

"Sure," I replied, breaking out of my ball and stepping out of the car. I stretched my arms over my head and yawned again. Finn waited for me in the front of the car and we walked side by side to the diner's entrance.

He opened the door for me and I braced myself against the tremble of voices behind the door in my head. Finn smiled at my concentrated face and grabbed my hand as if to offer comfort before we headed to a table farthest from the chatter of voices.
As soon as we sat down, the waitress came by to offer us drinks. She was extremely hung-over, her thoughts were groggy and painful, but she still smiled jadedly as Finn and I both ordered coffee.

Finn smiled at me as she walked away and then looked down to pull a map out of his back pocket. He rolled the expansive map out on the table and I stared at it bewilderingly; it all just looked like gibberish to me. Finn had marked it across with red marker, a red line right from northern California straight across the country to the little fingerprint sized state of New Hampshire. I looked at the distance of our journey and felt the apprehension of our venture set in. The waitress (whose name was Loretta) came and dropped off our coffee. Finn merely drank his coffee black and scanned the map with a pensive look while I just stared at it in awe and stirred sugar into my own coffee.

"Are you sure we can do this?" I asked tentatively as Finn kept on his silent contemplation.

"Sure we can," he replied out of the corner of his mouth without looking up at me.

"No. Are you sure?" I persisted.

He finally tore his green gaze from the map and looked at me. "What's wrong?"

I hesitated, "I just... I've never done anything like this before. I'm... Well, I've always been..." I broke off, not being able to find the right word.

"Isolated?" Finn put in.

"Isolated," I agreed, "I don't do this! I didn't think of the magnitude of this trip." I gestured to the map, the long red line that now seemed to be glowing with doubt.

"Well. You're not isolated now," Finn said, taking a gulp of his hot drink, "You've got the whole of fucking North America in front of you."

I shifted uncomfortably. "That's what scares me. Millions of minds. Millions. I can barely deal with home," I muttered.

Finn looked at me with an ardent expression, "Don't worry. I'll be there."



It turns out that when you're driving for hours upon hours, there isn't much to do. Finn drove carefully and speedily, but there was nothing for me to do other than sit and watch the nowhere-lands flurry past the window.

The sun was beginning to go down and we were passing through Nevada, when I turned to Finn and asked, "Hey. When you hold my hand and read my mind, is that with just me and your dad?"

He nodded and looked at the sun drenched highway. "Yep," he replied, "No one else."

"Hm," I murmured.

Finn looked at me from the corner of his eye. The lonely highway allowed him to do that. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing, nothing," I said, shaking my head.

Finn didn't press me and smiled vaguely as he turned back to the road. "Can I ask you a question now?"

I looked at him carefully; I knew he felt my eyes on his figure but he seemed like he was avoiding my gaze altogether.

"Depends on what it is."

"Well, I'm gonna ask it anyway," he said as he turned on an exit, the sun was now dying out, fading into the earth.

I nodded; we were now rolling onto a small town. Finn seemed to be looking for something as he scanned the streets with his pale green eyes. I stiffened as he pulled into a motel.

"Why are you dating that Gavin guy?" Finn asked.

My eyes narrowed on him. "Why?"

"I just don't understand. Doesn't that suck always knowing what he thinks? Doesn't that... hinder things?" he asked.

"No," I stated icily, "Can't your dad read your mom's mind?"

"Yes."

"Then why does it seem so farfetched that I can be happy with Gavin?"

"Because my parents are divorced," Finn said quietly, "Mom couldn't stand it anymore –having no secrets. Dad fucking hated it, too. He didn't want to know."

I stared at him like he had slapped me in the face and then looked away. Picking at the hem of my dress, I murmured, "Well. Maybe there's hope for me."

Finn smiled brightly and nodded. "I guess there's always hope."

I returned his smile and it seemed that a wave of electricity passed between us. I broke my gaze and stepped out of the car and stretched again.

"So this is where we're staying, huh?" I asked Finn, who had now exited the car as well.

We both stared up at the dingy looking motel called The Lovely Cocos. Finn went to the trunk and retrieved both our suitcases. Flinging my bag over his back and rolling his own alongside him. We walked up to the tiny lobby of the place where the gaunt motel clerk stood. He smiled at me leeringly.

Pretty one. Pretty one

"Hi, uh. Can we have a room please? Two beds," Finn said, pulling out his wallet. I took out my own money clutch from my quilted purse.

Two beds, huh? Not a couple, the creepy clerk whose name was Garth thought. He pictured grotesque things in his vulgar mind and I had to clamp my lips to hold back my gasp. I put my hand on Finn's back.

I don't want to stay here, I said loudly in my head, hoping that Finn's barriers would be down to get my message.

Finn looked away from Garth and found me, Why? he asked.

I showed him how scared I was of the man and his back stiffened.

"Uh, my wife here wants to know if you have a continental breakfast," Finn asked loudly and heatedly to the clerk, clearly showing possession.

Garth's thoughts broke out of their obscene pits and reformed, staring at the Finn's looming frame.

"Uh, no sir. We don't," Garth replied quickly and looked away from Finn's vicious gaze.

It's like he fucking knew what I was thinking, he murmured in his mind, Don't look in his eyes.

"That'll be fifty-two dollars," the clerk said.

Finn reached out for a credit card and I stuck out my own right in front of it. Finn pushed it out of the way, "No," he muttered.

I put my hand on his waist, Let me pay, too! I complained, but he shook me off and replied, You're my wife right now, Dolly. Tomorrow I'll be the wife and you can pay.

I snorted with laughter, breaking the silence in the tiny lobby. Garth gave me the stink eye as he handed Finn the key to our room.

We trudged up the stairs of the motel, searching for the door with the number 17 engraved on it. We finally found it and Finn unlocked the door and dropped the bags near the entrance. I followed behind him. The room was small but clean, so that made me a little happier. The two twin beds were wrapped in paisley pink comforters and I sighed as I collapsed on one. Finn smiled at me and took off his sweatshirt, exposing the odd tattoo of the elk on his arm from under his white v-neck.

I pointed to it. "Why did you get that?"

Finn held out his arm and looked at the image as if he had barely noticed it was there. "I was drunk. Everything seems right when you're drunk," he explained and gave me a crooked grin.

I smiled and got my suit case and lugged it into the white tiled bathroom. After a quick steaming shower, I changed into my floral print nightgown and wrapped my wet dark hair in a pink towel. When I stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered and teeth brushed, Finn chuckled a little.

"What?" I asked.

"Nice nightgown," he teased.

I looked at it. It went all the way down to my ankles and had puffy sleeves. I put a hand on the flowery cotton fabric. "Shut up," I said and Finn got up and moved into the bathroom with his own bag.

I dug myself into my bed and got the remote from the nightstand between the beds. Luckily for me, The Lovely Cocos was pretty empty, leaving my thoughts free to think of things other than the door in my mind. The moon was shining from the blinded window and darkness crept in. All that was lit was the miniscule television hanging on the wall.

I settled on watching some mafia movie and when Finn exited the bathroom in his own pajamas (boxers and... well, that's it) I tried to focus on the ridiculously false Italian accents on the tiny TV and not on Finn's abs. He dried his dark honey hair with a towel and watched the movie from his spot in front of the bathroom entryway.

"Hey! I love this movie!" he cried.

I laughed and turned on my side, falling into a safe sleep.