Quiet Little Monsters

Dolly's was closed when Finn and I walked in. It had been a couple days since New Hampshire and it definitely seemed like I had missed a lot. Luella was prancing around the shop, cleaning the tables and Bella and Gavin were laughing and dancing behind the counter. Yeah. It was strange.

"Dolly!" Luella, Gavin, and Bella chimed loudly all at once and ran to my spot at the entrance. They all grinned at me.

Look how tan she's gotten! Bella cried in her head. Gavin pictured kissing me and I blushed as his eyes landed on mine. Unfortunately, Finn had had a hand at the small of my back and could see this; he growled.

I pulled away from Finn. His hair was pulled back into a beanie and his tattooed arms were flexing with anger as Gavin grabbed me and gave me a hug. "Hey, Dolly!" he said. She smells like vanilla, he thought and I felt a violent blush creeping onto my cheeks.

"Finn. Go outside. Please," I whispered. He was ready for a fight and I certainly was not. Gavin looked between us in confusion.

"Did you go with him?" Gavin suddenly asked. Oh shit. I had forgotten to tell him I'd gone on the trip with Finn. And now he was mad. And now he knew what I'd done. Finn gave me a stiff nod and exited the shop and waited outside, while Bella and Lu drifted off, eagerly trying to listen to Gavin and me without being blunt about it.

"Why don't we go to my office?" I whispered to Gavin, but I already knew what he was going to say. I knew because I had a flash of his ex girlfriend Jane who had ran off with him to Hollywood. And I felt the hurt and resentment and rage ebb from him like a hurricane and I whimpered in pain. Gavin's eyes widened with confusion at the pain on my face. I pulled him by the hand and pushed him into my small pink office.

"Gavin," I started, but he cut me off.

"You could have told me. You could have said something. But I've been waiting like a fucking dumbass," he muttered loudly.

"I know and I'm sorry. It didn't start out that way with Finn. It just happened," I whispered.

Gavin's nostrils flared but he nodded. Dolly. Dolly Gunn, you are not for me, he thought as he exited the room. I collapsed in my familiar velvet purple chair and cried. Gavin hated me. He hated me and he would never talk to me again. We would never be friends. Just then, Finn walked into the room.

"Hey Dollface," he muttered and lifted my head up. Don't cry, he said in my head, You can't cry because you're mother just got here. So wipe those tears away and tell her what you need to tell her.

I gaped at him. No, I gasped, No. No. No. No. No. I can't see her. What is she doing here? Tell her to leave. Please, Finn. Please.

This was too much too soon. I had walked in just two minutes ago and I had already broken Gavin's heart (as well as my own) and now was faced with the ghostly enigma of my mother. Then I read Finn's thoughts. He had called her. He had called my mother and told her to come down when I had told him to go outside.

"Why? Why would you do that?" I asked.

Because you wouldn't have, Finn said.

"It's not your decision to make," I spat.

No. But it was the right one.

"Just get the fuck out of my head, Finn!" I screeched, "Seriously. Please just give it a fucking rest!"

Finn gave me a stiff nod and I looked away. Blinking back tears, I whispered, "I'm sorry. It's just that these past few days have been so relaxing and nice and wonderful. I forgot how much reality sucks."

"Just listen to her," Finn murmured after a long moment and walked out of the office.

Two seconds later, I could hear my mother's familiar voice in the familiar cavern of her head. Dolly. Dolly. I love you and I want to talk to you. I love you.

"Don't come in, Irene," I called out. She was not Mom anymore. Mothers don't do to their children what she did to me.

Don't call me Irene, young lady! she said and heaved open the door of the office. My God. What have you done here? Why did you paint this pink? It looks like Pepto Bismol, Dolly.

"Don't talk to me like that," I said. She was still the same. A flustered woman with the same dark hair and dark eyes as me. Her hair was pinned up in a tidy chignon and her dress was as starched as ever.

"Dolly, what's come over you?" she asked but she whispered I'm sorry, in her head.

"Just say what you mean for once, Mom. Just say it. You know I know and you still don't have the fucking balls to say it. Just. Fucking. Say. It," I spat.

"Your mouth hasn't improved, Dolly," she said with narrowed eyes.

"Your mind hasn't either. It's been three years. Three years that you've left me here. So you could run away with him and live your fairy tale and forget about your mutant daughter. I know what you were thinking!" My tears covered my cheeks, but she remained completely neutral. She was hiding her emotions, but I knew her heart and I knew her thoughts. She hated seeing me cry. Oh God, Dolly. You know I love you. You know I do. I just couldn't live like this anymore. I needed to forget for a little while. Not about you, but about how much you suffer. It was selfish and stupid and I regretted it every day.

"Mom?" I whispered. She was still at the entryway of the door, across the room. "I missed you."

She gave a sob and rushed over to me. "I'm sorry, Dolly."

We embraced for a long while before I remembered one thing. "Where's Philippe?" I asked her.

"In Paris. We're taking a little break," she whispered.

"Do you miss him?" I whispered, but she hugged me tighter.

I feel complete right now. Just like this.