Every Word
twenty-seven.
Four days, the Saturday after you died they set your funeral. It was one of the scariest days of my life. I would have to sit In a room full of strangers for a day and listen to them go on about how great you were and how sorry they are for your families loss, which is also their own loss. I was scared. I didn't know how I would hold up in there. Listening to everything very one has to say about you without you even really being here. With out you knowing what they're saying, and would I have he guts to look inside that casket, to see you cold hard and dead? I didn't think I could do it. But I could, and it was the hardest thing I ever got myself to do. I almost thought for a moment we both were dead and you were just asleep in that box and we were in this dream, we were going to be together forever and all these people were here to wish us goodbye. But that wasn't the case. You were gone and I was still here and now I'm stood in front of all these people that love you and miss you and wish the best of the rest of our lives as I tell them the story of you and I.
"And I may not have known Samantha as well as most of you in here, but I hope it's safe to say that miss her and love her as much as some of you in here." I continue to give my mourning speech or what ever you call it. "She was my world and I may not have been hers, but to know I was a part of her life is good enough for me. To know I got to spend as much time as possible with her, and to see her smiling face almost every time was the best thing that ever happened to me. Although she is no longer with us," I began to tear up and what I was so scared of started it's course, "I like to think she is in a better place. She is no longer dying or sick. She will no longer feel sad angry or mad but will only feel peace. She is now infinite and will forever love us all and others because we were brave enough to come here and mourn for the end of her road, and hope the best of her new path." I took a deep breath, "I love you Samantha, I always will. I hope to never forget you and always have you in my mind to show me right from wrong like you have over the last year. Goodbye."
I gathered my papers and stepped down from the podium. Before I continued back into the audience I took a deep breath and stared at the floor hoping for an answer for all of this. Hoping I would find out why this had to happen. Hoping for a light to show me the way. As cheesy ad it sounds, I got my answer as I felt a hand on my back. It was a man, he was the next speaker.
"I hope I'm speaking for everyone when I say were really glad you came. I believe that you loved her as much and maybe more than some of us, because that's what she did. She just made people love her. She loved to death." He failed an attempt to joke as tears began to fill his eyes. "But you're right, she's in a better place and we have accept that. You're a brave kid, for that I admire you son."
"Thank you. It means a lot." I could barley see him through the tears. "I just miss her so much!" My heavy sobs became the only sound in the church as he embraced me in a hug. "I don't know what to do!" I got louder and although every could see and hear me, I just didn't care. "I just don't know." I lowered my voice and after a moment I gave him a pat on the back let him know I was safe to go. And as I made my way back to my seat every one stood for me. Some men gave me an assuring pat on the back and many women gave me hugs and kisses. The kids all stared at me and I knew they had no clue what was going on. They were lucky for that.
"And I may not have known Samantha as well as most of you in here, but I hope it's safe to say that miss her and love her as much as some of you in here." I continue to give my mourning speech or what ever you call it. "She was my world and I may not have been hers, but to know I was a part of her life is good enough for me. To know I got to spend as much time as possible with her, and to see her smiling face almost every time was the best thing that ever happened to me. Although she is no longer with us," I began to tear up and what I was so scared of started it's course, "I like to think she is in a better place. She is no longer dying or sick. She will no longer feel sad angry or mad but will only feel peace. She is now infinite and will forever love us all and others because we were brave enough to come here and mourn for the end of her road, and hope the best of her new path." I took a deep breath, "I love you Samantha, I always will. I hope to never forget you and always have you in my mind to show me right from wrong like you have over the last year. Goodbye."
I gathered my papers and stepped down from the podium. Before I continued back into the audience I took a deep breath and stared at the floor hoping for an answer for all of this. Hoping I would find out why this had to happen. Hoping for a light to show me the way. As cheesy ad it sounds, I got my answer as I felt a hand on my back. It was a man, he was the next speaker.
"I hope I'm speaking for everyone when I say were really glad you came. I believe that you loved her as much and maybe more than some of us, because that's what she did. She just made people love her. She loved to death." He failed an attempt to joke as tears began to fill his eyes. "But you're right, she's in a better place and we have accept that. You're a brave kid, for that I admire you son."
"Thank you. It means a lot." I could barley see him through the tears. "I just miss her so much!" My heavy sobs became the only sound in the church as he embraced me in a hug. "I don't know what to do!" I got louder and although every could see and hear me, I just didn't care. "I just don't know." I lowered my voice and after a moment I gave him a pat on the back let him know I was safe to go. And as I made my way back to my seat every one stood for me. Some men gave me an assuring pat on the back and many women gave me hugs and kisses. The kids all stared at me and I knew they had no clue what was going on. They were lucky for that.