I'm Still That Confused Little Girl, but It's so Much More Confusing Now

The next day was as equally rainy and gross as the previous day, and Hagrid still wasn’t back. Harry and Ron were close to breaking down without Hagrid. I smiled slightly as they came in looking all hopeful and then slumping as they realised there was no large scraggly looking half-giant at the teachers table.

Hermione yawned and poured herself some coffee. She offered me some, I shook my head. I hated coffee, always had. Her and Ron were already getting close to having a full blown argument, about the hats Herms was trying to trick the house-elves into taking. Harry made an exhausted face at me. I grinned and took a mouthful of bacon.

Hermione leaned over to me and whispered, “He’s looking at you again.” I didn’t even have to ask who. I glanced at the Slytherin table to find not only Malfoy staring at me, but also Blaise Zabini. Who looked like he was trying to talk some sense into Malfoy’s head. I smirked slightly and stood up.

“Come on, we’ve got to go to Charms. I am not being late again.” Ron grinned.

“What happened in the detention by the way? We never asked.”

“Nothing.” I answered sharply, then remembered myself. “Really. We just did our lines then left.” Ron looking faintly shocked, then resumed his normal face.

“Wow. Amazing experience there.” I laughed and pushed him lightly, so he’d get up.

“Shut up Ronald.” We walked to Charms together, though Ron and Hermione were now ignoring each other. He had said something snide about her hats.

Harry and Ron discussed quidditch pretty much the entire way there, while Hermione was properly getting into discussing her new vendetta to save the house-elves from terrible treatment. I sighed faintly.

“Oi. Gryffies.” Peeves called from above us, as he whizzed out from the ceiling to float in front of us.

“Go away Peeves.” Harry said, walking past the poltergeist.

“Ooooh. So rude.” He did a somersault in mid-air to land in front of Harry again. “I hear Miss Smith was alone with a Slytherie.” Ron and Harry glanced at me.

“She had detention Peeves.” He flew up as Hermione answered, then floated in front of me.

“Did she? They seemed very… cosy.” I raised an eyebrow, Peeves cackled and flew away, past Malfoy and his bodyguards, who had just come up the stairs.

“Are we going to stand here all day looking gormless? Or are we going to go to our lessons today?” He said snidely, weaving between us and past as he talked. As they got past us, Malfoy turned round and smirked at me, turning away and overtaking Crabbe and Goyle again. I rolled my eyes and followed them.

“Bit of a dark horse our Felicity isn’t she.” Peeves whispered in my ear, having just swooped back through the wall to my right. I shot a curse at him and he disappeared again, cackling his head off as he went. I ground my teeth and carried on to Charms.

I sat down next to Dean and Seamus when I arrived, doing my best to avoid Draco’s glances my way.

After double Charms, we had double Transfiguration, meaning I had a slight rest from Malfoy, due to the fact we were sharing with the Hufflepuffs this year. Both spent most of the lesson explaining the importance of OWLs and study, both piling on the largest amount of homework they could possibly give.

Ron and Harry spent their lunch hour in the library due to the amount of homework we had, luckily Hermione had already corrected my potions homework, so I only had the current days homework. Me and Herms spent the lunch hour reading through the Daily Prophet to see what rubbish they were spreading about Dumbledore and Harry. There wasn’t that much.

We met Harry and Ron at Care of Magical Creatures, where the Slytherins were all present. From the pointed looks and giggles they kept shooting Harry’s way, it wasn’t hard to guess who they were joking about. I caught Draco’s eye and glared at him, moving to stand in front of Harry, he smirked slightly and made another comment. Which his cronies proceeded to laugh as if he’d made the funniest joke alive. I rolled my eyes and turned to watch Professor Grubby-Plank. It was a rather interesting lesson, in which Harry got a nasty cut on his hand and the Slytherins continued to guffaw all lesson.

After CoMC, I had a free period. I was not taking Herbology because, in a word, I hated it. I headed back to the common room, switching track to go to the Owlery after I remembered Mum wanted me to write to her.

“Hello again.” I turned. Malfoy was leaning against one of the Owlery windows with a small brown owl sitting on his hand. “Seems we keep meeting up like this.” I locked my teeth together, turning away from him I gestured for my owl to come down from the rafters. He ignored me. I spent a few minutes calling and whistling for Peewee to come to me, before Malfoy let off a low whistle and Peewee flew straight to him. He handed him over to me, without a sarcastic smile.

“Oh. Thanks.” I frowned, turning away again. I gave Peewee a treat and he flew up to sit on my shoulder so I could write my letter. It was brief. Informing her we had arrived and I was fine. Signing it and attaching it to Peewee’s leg. He flew out of the window. I watched him retreating until he was a small speck. I sighed and turned back to Malfoy. “What are you doing up here?”

“Sending a letter. Obviously.” He answered sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and started to leave. “Wait. Sorry.” His owl flew out of the window, carrying the letter he had been writing since I came in away. “Not used to having civilized conversations with Gryffindors.”

“Well. You can be reassured that I won’t be trying again.” He almost looked disappointed. Curiosity got the better of me. “What was Zabini telling you this morning? At breakfast?” Malfoy glanced at the floor, grinned, then looked back up at me.

“You. He was telling me not to talk to you.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Why?”

“Well, you’re a Gryffindor for starters. For seconds you’re friends with the Golden trio. For thirds you have this weird obsession with fire.” I was slightly taken aback by the last comment.

“What?” He closed his mouth abruptly, as if he hadn’t meant to say that. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he glanced at me. “Around fire, you get this look in your eyes, like you can hardly stop yourself jumping into it. He says that’s the sign of a mental person.” I thought about it for a minute. Recollecting a few separate times I had been around fire. I concluded I was mental.

“I just, find fire… fascinating. That’s all.” I looked at my feet. “It’s so beautiful, but so fatal at the same time.” I frowned, looked back up at Draco. “I ju-“ My voice jammed in my throat. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve got to go.” I rushed past him, before he could say anything else. On the way back to the common room, I ran into Harry who was heading for the Great Hall. I changed tack and decided to go with him. I had suddenly realized how hungry I was.

“Oi. Potter!” As Harry turned to look at a ferocious Angelina, I quickly made myself scarce. Angelina didn’t like me very much, she thought I was crazy for avoiding Quidditch all the time. In fact, it was turning out most of the school thought I was crazy for one reason or another. Seamus thought I was crazy for believing Harry. Zabini thought I was crazy for liking fire. And Luna Lovegood thought I was crazy because I didn’t believe in something called a Honking Horkback or something. Maybe I was crazy.

I reached the Great Hall a few minutes before Harry, Ron and Hermione, finding a quiet spot on the Gryffindor table and helping myself to some food. A figure pushed into me from behind, almost knocking my juice over. I turned.

“Hey!” A stalking figure in black robes, trimmed with green was hurriedly vacating the Great Hall. I sighed and looked down at my robes to make sure I hadn’t got any food on myself, there was a folded up piece of parchment on the bench next to me. I glanced back at the figure, who was almost out of the Great Hall now, definitely a Slytherin. I placed the note in my pocket and carried on eating. Figured I’d need a full stomach for something a Slytherin wanted to tell me. It was probably some crudely drawn picture of me drowning. I’d had a few of those last year, since an unnameable incident with the giant squid.

“What do you think are the chances of Umbridge letting you off detention are?” Ron asked as they sat down on either side of me. Hermione sat opposite.

“Zero to none. Still, worth a try. I hope she doesn’t keep me too long tonight, I’ve got way too much homework to do.”

“Tell me about it.” I interjected. “We’ve got those bowtruckle drawing for Professor Grubby-Plank and the essay on vanishing spells for McGonagall.”

“And that counter-charm for Flitwick.” Ron added, causing me to groan. “And it’s going to rain.” We all looked at him suspiciously, causing his ears to go red.

“What has that got to do with our homework?” Hermione asked pointedly.

“Nothing.” He muttered, going back to his food. After eating, Harry excused himself to go to Umbridge’s detention and Hermione went back to the common room. After a short conversation with Ron about homework, he excused himself because he had ‘some stuff to work out.’ He gave me his bag to take back to the tower, so he wouldn’t have to run into Hermione and have another argument about house-elves with her. Halfway back to Gryffindor tower, I remembered the note that was hiding neatly in my pocket. I paused on the stairs and opened it.

Smith,
Meet me at the lake. Midnight. I’ve got something I want to talk to you about.

I raised my eyebrows. Deciding quickly I wouldn’t go. I wasn’t stupid. A Slytherin invites you out in the middle of the night, alone. It was either an ambush or some sort of creepy murder plan.

This plan to not go proved ineffective however, when I realized I was bored out of my mind and not tired at all. After finishing Ron’s charms essay for him and writing a note for Harry to say if he’d lend me parchment I’d do his, I had nothing else to do. I certainly wasn’t going to attempt Ron’s potions essay, it had taken me long enough to do my own. And I didn’t even have Harry’s bag so I could do his work for him. I know. I shouldn’t do their work for them, but they were so chronically rubbish at homework I felt obliged to help. Anyway, they made up for it by buying me sweets and making sure I was always fully provided with ink and quills.

At about ten minutes to midnight I snuck out of Gryffindor tower. As I was passing the trophy room, a disheveled Ron creeped past me, covered in mud. I sighed, wondering if Harry had figured out he was trying out for keeper yet.

About two minutes later, Harry ran past, holding his hand as if he was in pain. I frowned, wondering faintly if I should go back and help him. I shook my head. I was out now, might as well go through with it.

When I got outside, I pulled my wand out, preparing myself for a surprise attack. I deliberated over casting a lumos spell so I could see where I was going, but decided if I was to be attacked, I was probably best off not announcing to the Slytherins where I was.

At five past midnight I reached the lake edge. There was a boy sat, waving his wand and making ripples in the lake’s otherwise glassy surface. I checked for any other hidden Slytherins, before deciding he was alone.

“Finished?” I knew that voice. And it thoroughly surprised me.

“Zabini?” He turned his head to look at me, it was. “What on earth do you want?”

“Expecting Draco?” I shrugged, I couldn’t deny it had crossed my mind.

“Not really. Just couldn’t fathom want anyone else would want.” He smirked.

“Yes. Well.” He looked at the clothes I was wearing, they weren't exactly what you could call high quality. “Neither can I.” I rolled my eyes.

“If you’re just going to sit there making snide comments, I’m going back to the tower. We are so not supposed to be out here.” He stood now, putting his wand into his waistband. I wondered faintly why no one had invented some kind of holder for wands, no one I had met had thought of anywhere better to put their wand than tucked into their jeans belts.

“I wanted to discuss Draco actually.” I frowned.

“Could you not do that in the Great Hall?”

“Have you been in the Great Hall? If I was seen talking to… well… you, I would have been outcast immediately.” I conceded by nodding my head. He probably would have. “Which is precisely why you and Draco need to stop having these… meetings.” I scoffed.

“Okay. Let me put you right. One of these ‘meetings’ was a detention. The other was by chance.”

“Last year you would have hexed his face off before he got close.” I frowned, looking down at my shoes. Yeah, I guess I would have. “And he would’ve done the same to you. Whatever happened to you two over the summer is none of my business. But you both need to get your heads back on your shoulders.”

“Nothing happened to me over the summer.”

“I don’t care Smith.” I sighed. He moved closer to me. “I have nothing against you. But if you don’t stop this thing, whatever it is, with Draco, I’ll have to stop you.” I looked up at him.

“Oh, so I assume you’ll be having this little conversation with him too.”

“Yes.” We locked gaze for a minute. He didn’t look particularly angry. Just saddened. “In another life, we might have got along Smith.”

“Yeah, another life without You-Know-Who in it.” I muttered. A faint smile crossed his face.

“Yes. Another life. Draco does not need you this year. Or any year for that matter.” I rolled my eyes and stepped away from him.

“Goodbye Blaize.”

“I’ll walk you back to the castle.” I laughed.

“Yeah, ‘cause that would go down well. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor sneaking back into the castle at-“ I glanced at my watch. “1 in the morning.”

“Who would be looking out of the window at this time?” And so he walked me back to the castle. The majority of the way was in silence. As we reached the doors he turned to me. “What changed this summer Smith? Why did you come back to Hogwarts with this new found interest in Draco?”

“Nothing changed. It was him. He asked me a question.” I smiled. “Believe it or not, my home life is relatively boring. I’d do anything for a bit of excitement during my holidays. Why do you think I don’t go home at Christmas?”

“I always thought it was because you didn’t want to be in your house after you father died there. Before second year, you always did go home for Christmas.” He walked away after that. I opened my mouth to retaliate in some way, before closing it.

He was right, I always did go home for Christmas before second year.
I stood for a moment, completely confused, then went back up to the common room.

I nearly had a run-in with Peeves, but managed to get back into Gryffindor tower without much fuss. I curled up in the armchair and watched the fire until I fell asleep.