Instinct

Paws thudding on the ground. Running, running so fast. Air whipping by, as if fighting. As if it had a chance to win.

Body hurtling through trees, not a care in the world. Fur ruffling in the air, legs bent low, maximizing the speed. Branches hurtling past, body moving swiftly, avoiding any and all attack they tried to assault. Scents reaching my nostrils, exploding in a rich wave of desire. This was home.

The thudding of paws increased, as did my speed. I ran faster and faster, nothing in my eyes except my destination; my goal. I sped up, going and going and...

My body skidded to a halt, dirt crumbling down the edge, lost to the abyss below. My body shuddered with pleasure of the narrow escape, my muzzle lifted, and a low howl rang through me. It ran through my stomach, tickled my throat, and escaped into the darkness of night. The moon above seemed to glow with mystery. The howl rang out an-

My body jolted, my breath hitching, and my eyes snapping open. I panted, my eyes searching wildly for the noise. Sweat stuck my hair to my forehead, and I spun, the blankets tangling around my body.

Beep. Beep. Beep. I froze, my eyes turning to the small clock sitting beside my bed. It continued its beeping frenzy and I felt a wave of embarrassment hit me. This had me waking up in a frenzy? An alarm clock? I reached over, shut it off, and laid back down.

I didn’t feel like getting up. The same dilemma I had every day, but today I just wanted to stay in my room. Today I just wanted to hide away and forget everything. Even in my dreams I hadn’t managed to do that, which had my mood sinking even lower. Was I becoming the thing I fought so hard to push away? Had I finally begun to spiral over the edge?

I finally pushed myself to my feet, heading to the small, but cozy, bathroom attached to my room. I shut the door behind me, and stared in the mirror, as I did every day. I looked, searching for anything that said my humanity was leaving. I had yet to find something, and I kept being told I wouldn’t lose it, but I couldn’t forget what had happened. No matter how hard I tried.

My black hair was in a tangle, sticking to my sweat covered face. My lips were pursed in annoyance, as they were every morning, and my eyes seemed to shine this morning, almost a glowing blue. I shut them, took a deep breath, and began my day.

I walked on. One foot in front of the other. It always seemed this way; this hard. That with every step, every breath, I had to actually think about doing it. That I had to push myself to go on. I used to use the thought that it would get easier, that my past would just fade away, so far, it had yet to. The constant stares proved that. Which is why I was always late. I avoided crowds, I avoided being caught in the depths of people.

Usually, if I bothered to head to class, I’d sneak in the back, take my seat, and count the seconds away. However, the majority of the time, I didn’t go. I’m not some teen playing hooky, nor am I an adult finishing her classes. I’m twenty one. The school I’m forced to attend starts at the age of five, and ends when you reach twenty five. Not your average school by any means.

Today, like most, I headed outside. With a textbook. Regardless of my attendance, I knew I still had to pass the courses, and while in class they taught many things that weren’t in the book, the book allowed me to pass. That’s all that mattered.
The school was in the middle of nowhere, with trees surrounding the place for miles on end. No civilization ever came this way, and if they did, they usually didn’t stay long. Which was just as well, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t stay long either. The people here aren’t the ones you just befriend.

I sat at my normal spot, a gigantic tree at the end of the property, only a few feet away from the forest. The wind was always calm, yet not nonexistent, and the shade was a nice relief from the burning sun. The trunk of the tree was wider than me, and had roots as long as my legs protruding from the ground. The leaves were bright green, and rarely ever changed.

I flipped open to the marked spot in my book, and settled down. Werewolf tracking patterns. I ignored the usual cringe I get at that word, and pressed on, reading the text for what I thought would be on the tests. The words all blurred together in record time, and before I could contemplate taking an early break, a dark shadow blocked my sun.

“Third time.” The voice was flat, emotionless. I didn’t glance up, why bother when I had the stone face already set in my mind? His lips would be in a straight line, his eyes slightly narrowed, and his face angled down to look at me, seeming to be looking down on me, as he always was.

At 6'5, he surpassed my height, and that of many others. He wasn’t squeamish about making others feel insecure with it, either. With his dark hair, obsidian coloured eyes, and cold gaze, he could make the most egotistical man feel insecure. So to say he makes me feel that way would be the biggest understatement. Not only was he tall, but he was... not big, but built. Toned stomach, lean legs, big arms, and the overall appearance of perfection. Add that with his cool demeanour, and you get a recipe for disaster.

He dropped down next to me, his eyes still trying to burn a hole into my head. Soon, he’d give up that tactic and move to force. Not as in hitting me, as in taking my book to see what I was attempting to study.

In record time, he grabbed my book. I sighed, and flopped back, allowing my back to hit the grass and my eyes to close. We both knew I’d end up this way anyways, why not speed up the process? Again, in record time, he tossed the book back at me. It landed on my stomach with a slight oomph from me.

“Classes.” His way of telling me I should be in classes, learning and getting away from this place. I wanted away, I really did, but I couldn’t stand being cooped up with everyone. I just couldn’t. So as usual, I ignored him. And as usual, he made a frustrated sound and dropped it. I could have pointed out that he wasn’t in class, or the fact that I could learn just as much from the textbooks or that he could teach me, but I didn’t. Arguing with him was pointless. And who is he?

He is Davien Filler. I’m sure he has a middle name, but I’m not aware of it. He never shared it with me, and trying to get personal information out of Davien is like running head first into a brick wall; not fun. Davien Filler is best friends with Adrian Leroy, who in turn, is my best friend. Oddly enough, and something I will never comprehend, Davien is also my boyfriend. If you asked me to explain how that came to be, I’d be just as tongue tied as you. Davien doesn’t do relationships, and hardly ever friendships. Adrian is the only one he’ll ever actually confide in. And me? I don’t know how I earned the title of his girlfriend, but I did.

Strangely, I actually do have feelings for him. Why, how and when, I don’t know, but I do. I care about him, I hate when he’s mad at me, and I do like spending time with him. Even if it’s usually in silence, for when he does speak, you know he means what he says.

“Kara.” I looked at him, never getting over his appearance. Would I ever be able to just look at him? He jerked his head to the side, and I followed the direction. Oh.

Zoltan Kalner. His strides were bringing him closer and closer to me, his face already turning red from the anger he was about bestow on me. Zoltan wishes me dead, and I feel the same way for him. Zoltan was the one man who I wouldn’t mind losing my humanity to hurt, who I wouldn’t mind making bleed. He was the one man I’d kill.

Usually when I see Zoltan, I get a mind blowing sense of panic and the urge to run. To get as far away from him as possible. I’d scratch out my own eyes to not look at his face, to not have to look into his eyes and see-

Davien was with me today. While he may not stand up, tell Zoltan to get away from me or else, he would keep his cool gaze on him, and for some unknown reason, Davien makes Zoltan uneasy. With Davien here, Zoltan wouldn’t play mind games with me, nor would he hit me. So even though he had been harassing me a second ago about classes, I was glad he was around.

Zoltan barely made 5'7. I suppose once he may have been in shape, but it was all going south now. His stomach was a little pudgy, his cheeks stuck out slightly and his walk was slowly turning into a waddle. His arms still held muscle, how I don’t know, and he never failed to show that. Despite his pudgy appearance, his mind worked in ways I couldn’t begin to describe. He may not have the strength to win a fight, but he definitely had the brains.

His head was covered in a thin layer of dark brown hair, thinning so quickly I suspected he’d be bald by the end of the year. His nose was like a bulb, and his lips were thin and almost sickly, the type of lips you’d see on a paedophile. Then there were his eyes, they were dark blue, almost black depths, that ran in his family. Whenever I looked him in the eyes, I cringed.

Zoltan spared Davien a glance before coming to a half in front of me. His eyes peered down at me, and the only thing that stopped the cringe was the cool presence of Davien beside me.

“Kara.” He said calmly, even though his whole stance and posture said otherwise. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere?” Zoltan was in charge of the school, including all the people attending. I’m not sure why he pushes me so much. My guess is either due to my background, or for the mere fact he wants me out of here on time. But if I ever step a toe out of line, he’s on me like ants to honey. I’m the one he loves to make hell for.

“I’m studyin-“

”Kara! Classes aren’t set for your damn convenience, you need to know the information or you’re a risk to all of u-“ Davien shifted, sitting up straighter, his interest, or annoyance, catching. Zoltan’s eyes flickered to him for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Mr. Filler, I believe you should be somewhere also.” He didn’t respond, just narrowed his eyes slightly. “However, you have proven yourself to know what you need to. Kara, howev-“

Ever wonder why Davien gets called Mr. Filler, and myself Kara? Some think it’s because he treats me worse than everyone. I’m sure that’s part of it, but another part is that I don’t have a last name. I’m sure I had one sometime in my life, but I don’t remember, and no one has ever found any record of it. So I am simply Kara. Just Kara.
“
Helping study.” Davien said, voice low and quiet. Zoltan paled and shifted backward. I understood the fear Davien instilled, for when I first met him, I was terrified. But now, despite his lack of words, I believe I know him. I know what he would and wouldn’t do, and sometimes seeing him cause people to panic when he has no real incentive to follow an unspoken threat through, makes me laugh. I refrained this time.

“All the sam-“

”You interrupted.” Silence followed his statement. I’m sure if any other student had told the man in charge of their lives and the school that he had interrupted, they’d be on their backs bloody by now. Not Davien. Zoltan swallowed, shifted his collar, and spoke one last time.

“Continue on. For today.” He was already heading back to the school before Davien could reply, not that I’m sure he would. I watched him leave, and felt a sense of peace fill me again as the sun continued to shine down. Zoltan was gone, all was good.

“Kara.” Or not. I turned to him, and found almost surprisingly, that I had his full attention. That happened as many times as I went to class. “Classes. Tomorrow. All.” His eyes told me he was serious, that he meant it, but I felt no fear. Davien would never hurt me, so that didn’t leave many other options of forcing me to class.

“Tomorrow’s Friday. I’ll start again Monday.” On Monday when Adrian’s back, I thought silently. Adrian was in two of my five classes, Davien in one with us. Without him, the classes were even more painful and despite Davien’s words, I had no plans on going back. He knew that, if the look he was giving me was anything to go by. I avoided his gaze and dropped back down on my back, watching the clouds roll by.

Adrian’s father was powerful. More so than Zoltan, and even Davien’s father, Henry. Adrian’s father, to be blunt, was the leader of vampires. Kind of like a president, only... a lot more powerful. If he ordered a town to be blown away, it happened. No questions, no paper work. Getting to that position is half election, and half strength. Ten men get elected by the community. Those said ten people, then fight. One verse one, to the death. Last man alive is the leader, and only when he dies does a new one come to power.

Currently, Adrian was away with his father. I was told, shortly by Davien, that Adrian had to attend to showcase his father’s family status. That not only was he a ruthless leader, but also a family man. I had never personally met him, thankfully, but he didn’t sound like a family man to me. He loved his son, of that I was sure, but it wasn’t a normal fatherly love. And I wasn’t sure it was returned. Adrian never spoke ill of him, but whenever the subject broached... he fell oddly silent. Adrian was not like Davien, he had no problem using full sentences.

I believed that was bullshit. Adrian had not wanted to go, and if was to go to a simple event by his father’s side, he wouldn’t have argued with his father so much about it. But he had. When I asked, he merely smiled and said I’d get some quality time with Davien. So I didn’t know where he was, but I did know I wanted him back, despite the reason for his disappearance, because it’s not like it had anything to do with me. Right?